03/31/2007 11:17
My Decision to Move Forward...Gastric Bypass
The end of January I ruptured the 2 bulging discs in my lower back. If you might recall I ruptured 1 disc two years ago and then was told about the bulging discs. I thought that was a painful experience!
I struggled through giving time to heal but it just wasn't coming and finally gave in to going to see the doctor (always afraid of hearing back surgery which I am more afraid of than anything else when it comes to surgery) this visit was very different than any other w/ him before. His usual patience and understanding was replaced w/ the last appointment of a day that he struggled through w/ a cough and flu. I was met by a man tired and sick...and was surprised by his frankness and non-willingness to candy coat the obvious problem. "My Weight & How I carry it". His words came swiff and to the point. It was hurtful and shame filling inside but they were words of truth. He said as he rolled in his chair to the counter and scanned through my chart. He placed a hand I sure that was acheing w/ the flu symptoms, looked up at me and said....
We have to take a serious look here. You have given your best and have failed again, not saying you didn't try not to but in all the years I have cared for you we arrive again at a weight gain and your health problem increase w/ each failed attempt. I feel its time for you to honestly look at your self, your attempts at being healthy and what exactly you want to do in the rest of your life. And w/ that being said I want you to really consider a permanent treatment in help you control your portions, gastric bypass.
I was floored. All I wanted was maybe to try something else for pain. I couldn't believe what he said. I had done my best and failed...I was a failure!! "I have never given up on anything unless it was only after a long 200% attempt to make it work!" anything after that was said was unheard. I felt hurt and I felt dumped on b/c he was sick and probably should have been home not in the office dumping on me!!
the first week after my visit I nursed my wounded ego and the second week I started to analyze what he really was saying to me and then I got the call from him asking if I had contacted my insurance to see if they cover the surgery and then started researching the surgeons and he could recommend one if I was having problems. I did in fact contact my insurance but that was it. This call made things hit home. He was serious and concerned w/ my health, maybe I'm not concerned enough.
It was all true. every word he said, I had given 2 years of my best effort and yielded at a 32 pound loss and here I was gained out of control again...my 200% effort failing.
I had considered gastric bypass about 2 and half years ago but for reasons I felt I was not a good candidate. Things like, I was a terrible junk food junky, hated water, hated anything diet, and sure wasn't ready to deny myself anything. But now I was ready. I have come a long way since then. Who I am now is not who I was then. I have changed for the good and I was ready to start my research again. I went to 2 seminars, one from the first time and one 115 miles in another state b/c I know someone who had surgery w/ these Dr's and they have had many successes. I weighed the pros and cons. long term... do I under go a perm. portion control surg. or back surg. w/ rods and screws, close to my spine and nerves to every part of my body and possibly more pain and end up not being able to walk. I am headed toward a surg. but here and now I am able to make the choice. My husband was against it w/ the attitude of "just push your self away from the table" but he has gone to the seminar w/ the dr.s I have decided to trust w/ my life, and my husband has changed and committed to support me. He now understands the serious health risks of being apple shaped, and that some of my weight problems are genetic. I am now at the waiting stage and that's waiting on the insurance approval stage. I will keep everyone updated and if anyone has any questions please let me know and I'll answer the best that I can. This not just a quick fix...it's a life long change in how I will live the rest of my life.