03/11/2006 13:13
On the move!!!!!!
hello-hello...=) well i must say my trip to the produce section at the grocery store was not as easy as i thought it would be. i was excited about my trip though, it truly feels like every effort i make toward changing my life for the healthiest just revs up my engine and motivates me more. then i walked through the door and over to the produce and then got over whelmed. the first mistake was going to a new store to shop b/c the produce prices were higher than where i usually shop but their meats were a little less and better/ fresher lean cuts of meat. but to my disappointment i wasn't as adventuress as i wanted to be. i bought broccoli, cauliflower, carrots (which i know is full of sugar), and a zucchini....=( i drove home bummed and as usual i keep telling myself...."I NEED A PLAN" before going to shop for veggies again. its funny how what has happened to you in your life reflects on you for the rest of it.
i once was married to a man that was physically and emotionally abuser. the relationship started when i was 13 and started to end at 29 lots of details and a long story so i'll stop there. he controlled every move i made or thought. if he said the grass was blue and the sky was green i'd say...yep, sure is. but he didn't have all of me. inside i was "planning" and saving money i'd save w/ coupons and such for the day i'd take control of my life and i knew one day i would. so i guess that's where the need to make a plan comes from. b/c w/ a plan in hand i can keep checking it, revise it, and reassure myself there will be a positive out come at the end.
even though its been 9 yrs since my divorce and i have remarried to a wonderful understand man who accepts me any way i am inside and out i am still influenced from the past. i think my need to control my environment the best i can comes from not having it for so long in my life. that my comfort and reward system comes from my inner turmoil and self medicating w/ food and thank God not drugs or alcohol. in the beginning of my divorce my ex hit me w/ a car and i had to have knee surgery which has reflected on my activities but more so an excuse giving me the perfect reason not to exercise even though it does still hurt from time to time. i don't know if its my age or if i am actually taking that hard long look at myself inside not just on the outside like so many times before but this journey i have realized i have a whole bunch other issues that are attached to the size of me and for the first time i feel like i'm gonna do this, lose weight, get healthy, and get rid of a whole lot of other baggage i shouldn't be carrying around anymore. the past is the past. it will influence my future choice b/c lessons were learned...but is not be allowed to live here in the presence w/ me anymore!
i have also been reading the book, "The Biggest Loser". i love that show and try to see every episode and i actually bought the book thinking that maybe it would give a little gossip about matt and suzie from season two b/c i heard they were dating. but what i got instead was a gold mine!! i actually think i could follow their diet plan and do their suggested exercises. its not intense like the show b/c those people are competing for money so its crazy intense w/ 5-6 hrs. of exercise. this is a 12 week program. it explains the diet, reading labels, what the body needs and what to look for in a food, and a exercise program that has 3 levels so that someone like me who hasn't done a lot of exercising doesn't feel over whelmed w/ "i can't do this" to "yeah, i can do this". the book is only about 180 pages w/ lots of pictures and only gives you what you need to know. there is a day of eating template which i thought was cool where you'd plug in what you wanted to eat from there custom 4 tier food pyramid. then an example diet plan for the week and a bunch of recipes. i just love it. i'm almost done w/ it but i'm gonna read it again to just make sure i understand every thing then again sit down and "plan" out how i might eat on this diet and see if its something i truly could do and rep the benefits of healthy eating and learn to do that on my own which ties into the mishap veggie adventure. there are some recipes for seasoning veggies so before next trip to the produce section i'm gonna make a list and know what i want to try and how i will make it at home....=)
feed your self every day w/ healthy food and lots of water as well as feeding your self w/ nutritional education that we once knew and forgot or never really learned!...that's my goal...=) hope everyone has an awesome weekend, oh almost forgot!!! i'm on the move again...227.0 !!!even!!! go me!!! =)