struggle

Oh, not a good week pals, not good at all

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 22:00:11

Ouch ouch ouch... PUppy love is hurting me! My week sucks because he hasn't even emailed me since Monday.
My weekends suck because he works all weekend and he never calls me on his breaks.... ouch!!! crap this is painful!
He hasn't called all week long, not since Saturday when my phone accidentally dialed his number from inside my purse. lol..... weep

I think we're not talking anymore. Because we aren't speaking. Or anything. The lines have been bone dry!

I know he has exams this week, wed, thurs, and fri. But my gosh, he must not realize how much it hurts me that we haven't spoken!
We haven't talked. He is no longer talking to me.

Somehow I have avoided eating to feel better. Yes, my roommates have donuts in the kitchen, but no I haven't been eating to ease the pain. I realize that eating won't make it hurt less.
nothing will.

My leg is slowly healing though. I haven't been running or to the gym all week, but I will go back to the gym as soon as I'm sure my leg is healed.

I played volleyball last night and my leg didn't hurt. However, I didn't play well, I was very nervous hanging out with new people... and I made bad errors.

Story of my whole life right now is me nervous hanging out with new people. New volleyball people, new potential boyfriend people, new roommate people, and my new friend from work. She's great, I just have to get to know everybody more to feel at ease around them.

The only thing that has made me feel better this week is meditation and prayer.

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cold winter coming!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 23:08:22

So far the cold weather isn't driving me crazy yet, but the cold is coming. Also cold: the new guy. No word all day. boo hoo me. j/k I know he likes me, but he could try to remind me!

Potato soup for lunch.
Mexican corn soup for yesterday.
Yesterday it was miso soup and chicken & rice soup. LOL lots of soups, they are all wonderful. I definitely couldn't pick one favorite.
But they are great for winter!

My major stresses this week have been my hurt leg, which seems to be healing day by day. Also, I feel like I'm trapped at work, like a prisoner there chained to my desk.
My best buddy at work is our intern right now, and she's a work-a-holic. She can't sit and chat for even 10 minutes. And I don't know, everybody else, myself included, seems to be cramming busy but hating it. Working for the weekend I guess.
The sad part about the weekend is my crush is working all weekend every weekend so I just sit there and know he won't be hanging out with me.

I'm so puppy-love sick, it's miserable!

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Monday-ish

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 23:07:20

Oh tonight it's already 8:30 and I just agreed to leave the house and go do something at a friends house... what was I thinking? It's so cold outside!

My leg feels better today. But something definitely isn't right with it. Thanks for the well wishes for a speedy recovery. It helped that I rested it all day by working at my desk. And I had to work an extra hour and a half today! UGH what a long Monday!

Today I ate chili for lunch, a salad and a banana for a 4:30pm snack, and two different types of soup for dinner. Because I made myself soup and then my roommate made soup after that too.

I have this one roommate who I never ever see. It's so weird, he's very private and I just think i don't know him at all. He just came in the door and I was like ,"Hi" =D
And he goes "sup" as he walked away.
odd.

Sometimes it takes alot of effort to remember that i'm confident. Just because somebody doesn't pay attention to what I'm saying doesn't mean that I'm not kind and lovely. Must remember that.

The new guy I'm talking to has been too busy for me lately. He's a student, (I'm 25 now) and he's got 3 exams this week so he had to cancel our plans for this Wednesday night. He works all weekend every weekend, so I haven't seen him since Friday, and before that it had been a few days too.

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Ouch!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 23:06:11

I bumped my leg on something yesterday evening, I don't even know how, but now there is the beginning of a large bruise there. It's throbbing! Eeeek! OUch!

I think this will cripple me from doing aerobic activities for a bit. I will have to do more yoga and weight lifting (arms) to make up for that. sounds like a fun challenge to me, unfortunate that I am injured tho.

Oh well,
so you guys! I'm dating somebody!! He's really awesome. I want to say to him: Corey, YOur'e Awesome
Maybe I will. He likes to eat healthy and work out too.
And we both also like to splurge sometimes as well.

I'm also living in my new place, for about 6 weeks now, I dont know if I mentioned it before. But it's close enough to my job for me to walk to work! How cool is that!?

Or I could drive to work...
in my new car!
Yes, two weeks ago, the week of my birthday, I bought myself a new car. It's a 1999 toyota, it was affordable for my budget, it's white, sporty, leather seats that look like new, and I am not driving my junky old car anymore YAY!!! Sold the old one.

OK - if you need any more good news from me, here is one last thing
I'm back down to 163.5 pounds! Hooray!!!! This time I won't mess it up during the holiday season. Promise!

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worked out yesterday YAY

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 22:07:06

Today is Monday, and I feel so proud because I went to the gym on
Saturday and went for a run on Sunday (also played volleyball).
But I really feel glad about working out. I probably won't work out today, there will not be time.

Yesterday I ate like four sweets, all in reasonable quantities. Also I drank a beer, and a vodka.... with my friends.

So there's my confessions and my accomplishments from the weekend. I wish everybody a happy Monday!
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170 is lovely

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 22:01:23

I know that over a year ago I was like 15 pounds heavier.... and I had planned to lose a bit more. But that's just depressing to think about. But there's nothing to be depressed about because I'm pretty happy with my new body. I'm thinner, I really am!

But, to be honest, I do need to get back on the exercise! My goodness, in the past week I've exercised twice. That's just not enough.

food news: tonight at the store I bought a big bag of grapes, and some strawberries both on sale. Be good, me, beeee goooooood.

There's also chicken soup in the fridge for me to eat, tangerines, and soy milk. AND WATER!

I need to eat all these things tomorrow, and the other things I eat tomorrow need to be good choices too. Lets see how I do, see what I'm able to stick to as far as these eating goals.

Omagoodness it's late, I'm going to sleep. g'nite to all my EP buddies. If you've read to the bottom of this post thanks for being here with me =)
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it's a new week!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 23:02:16

So who's ready for another Monday!?> Eeek, I've been quite busy with two jobs.
Tonight I'm going out to eat and I think I'll be able to eat healthfully. Im about to cancel my membership to the YMCA because I'm spending way too much money on it.
I need to go read all of your comments, and I'm very excited to go do that. So I'll see y'all soon.

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ooops, i totally got lost.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 23:00:11

Dear friends, i have missed you. Thanks for the comments, and i'm sorry I fell off the face of the internet (internerd) for quite a bit. Totally bogus, don't know what got into me.

I have been working 2 jobs, the regular job downtown 9-5, and also being a ref for volleyball games.

I went on a trip to New Orleans for work, which was really fun, and I exercised liek 3 times during those 5 days. At the hotel work out room, their tread mills had televisions attached, directly attached, it was awesome - o!

I'm happy with my weight, whatever it is, my clothes are fitting well.

tomorrow (Saturday) I have to ref volleyball all day long. That will definitely burn some calories to be on my feet for so long.

And that's all the news! oh, also, we have a new intern at work and she is my new friend. Shes three years older than I am, very funny and kind.

And I moved out with my boyfriend, yes, we broke up, we're still friendly but it's over. AKWARD!

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=(

Saturday, December 8, 2007 22:01:23

I'm not skinny or losing any weight. I've gained like ten pounds, or maybe just nine.
But it's sad.
And I'm not doing winning points anymore. It didn't seem that difficult, but it was a hastle when I was out of town.
Oh yea, by the way I was out of town last week, I was in New Orleans.
How many calories are in a huge Hurricane (the drink)
I ate so much
And I didn't really feel guilty about it until I started to write this blog, and now i"m even embarassed about it.
But I DID EXERCISE WHILE OUT OF TOWN.... like four times and I did a good job.

Ugh..... I just can't figure myself out! Really! In so many aspects, it's hard to blog.

Maybe I'll pick up the winning points again tomorrow. =( But I dont have confidence in myself. I think I'll be all into my strategy for like 3 days, then start to imagine my results, and won't take it day by day......
I see failure in my future.

But I also see soups and salads, and blogging, and friendship, and I also see exercising in my future. That's all good stuff. I'll just have to make the good outweigh the bad.

I STILL DO NOT HAVE A NEW CAR....F R U S T R A T I O N
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Hey all

Saturday, December 8, 2007 23:03:15

I ran two miles on Thursday and two miles on Friday (eeyay) on Thursday I used the Cardio Coach, gettinfit, but Friday I forgot my i-pod.
And I am loving my new ref job. I"m doing well, getting paid, and having fun.

Also my Investigator job-job 9-5 job is sending me to New Orleans for training this week. Thank goodness Hurricane Ike didn't damage New Orleans again.

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