Well am I a little overwrought or what! Aargh - my first year MBA exam on Wednesday - it's based on case 3 case studies and I'm supposed to analyse the case studies in advance so that I have the anlysis to answer whatever the question maybe in the exam. I say supposed to because as i explained my job changed on me last week. My new boss has had several loooong meetings with me to discuss my new role and wants me to pick up the reins immediately although I haven't actually handed over the old job yet. Not to mention the fact that he has a management style that I am having difficulty adjusting to. Let's just say I feel like I am back at school. Do you know he actually got his secretary to call me at 4.45pm on Thursday afternoon to ask me to make my way back to his office for a meeting on something he had heard on the grapevine about which he wasn't happy. The fact that I was actually on the other side of London on my way to another meeting didn't seem to cross his mind - I refused of course and had to go see him first thing the next morning - and yes he had got completely the wrong end of the stick. I am a senior manager in this business i am not an errant schoolgirl - if he continues to treat me like that I won't be hanging around for long I can tell you!!
Anyway back to the point because I've been trying to do two jobs and deal with my new manager I have not been able to do as much revision as I need too. I'm off work now til the exam but that is only 4 days - HELP!
I'm not very good at this - it's getting longer and longer between postings. I just seem to say the same thing each time. I don't know whether I just lead a very quiet uneventful sort of life or whether I go through life with my head in the clouds and just not notice the "exciting" things going on around me.
I'm a lb off my 4 stone at the moment but that should change tomorrow at me weigh in - so it's still coming off nice and steadily. Nothing really to say about that.
Work is a different matter though. I mentioned in my earlier witterings that we are going through a bit of a reorganisation and that I'd been asked to apply for a specific job in the new structure. Well - I didn't get it! Actually they offered me another job, one that wasn't actually advertised and has been created just for me. I don't know quite how to feel about it to be honest. Did they do that because I wasn't up to the original job? Or did I impress them so much they decided I deserved a special job?? I'm kind of see-sawing between the two at the moment. My new job is as a "Technical Director" - I used to manage a whole division (60 people) but now I won't manage anyone at all - instead I'll be involved in reviewing issues across the whole business (ie. recruitment strategy, developing new business products, identifying skill gaps and reviewng our accommodation strategy) These things are important I know but I will be remote from the day to day to operation of the business and I'll sit to one side in the structure. Am I being deliberately sidelined? Or do they think I have the skills to help develop and push the business in new directions? (reason given to me for the job move). I'm sitting down with the boss on Tuesday to talk through the new role in more detail so hopefully I'll be a bit more sure of myself after that... but for now I'm just confused.
I know my posts are becoming sporadic - I'm kind of running out of things to say. I'm losing fairly steadily - I weighed in under 13 stone for the first time in close to 10 years - and I'm over the moon. I still get a bit dispirited when I hear how fast some of the others are losing. One woman in my group reached goal this week - she had lost 6 stone in 5 months (that's 84lbs for those in the USA) - but she looked fantastic and was a totally different character to the depressed worrier who joined the group - so I also felt quite proud too. I reckon I should hit goal in early September which is not so far away but I really beileve that when I've broken through the 12 stone mark - I've never been below 12 stone (168lbs) in my adult life so that will be a watershed moment for me.
Actually the fact that I have always been big to varying degrees, but always big, has given me a different perspective on life to many of the women in my group. We do alot of these tasks/ thought processes etc, which are supposed to reinforce that fat is bad and thin is good. We talked this week about what it is like to life in a hypothetical land called Fat Land as opposed to Thin Land and the discussion was around Fat Land being full of fast food places and outsiize clothes shops but no gyms are designer clothes shops, while thin land was full of activities and fine food restaurants and designer clothes and holiday shops. I didn't agree at all - I'm not fat because I ate nothing but fast food and took no exercise and I didn't hibernate away and refuse to do things or hate going on holiday. I am who I am, and I enjoy doing what I enjoy doing - I love good food, I love exercising (I used to be more active before I started this diet but had to cut back due to the reduced calorie intake) I love holidays and yes of course I'd feel a little self concious on the beach but it didn't stop me going. It didn't stop me scuba diving. I also bought good clothes (I'm not a designer freak and I won't be when I've lost the weight either) but I like quality clothing and although not easy I found clothes in my size ( and I was one of the biggest in the group remember. Of course I want to be slimmer so I can be healthier, so I can find nice outfits easier, so I can fit into seats properly, so I don't take up too much space, but most of all so I can prove to myself that I can succeed at anything I want to do. This is the one area of my life I have persistently failed to achieve in and I hate that!! Life doesn't stop because you are fat - I have a good career (promotion in the offering - interview on Thursday). I have a lovely husband who is my soulmate and I enjoy fantastic holidays and a great social life so what have I got to apologise for - Yes a healthy weight is better for you but being fat should not make you a social outcast and I really wish people would stop assuming it does......ther you go rant over!!
I'm sort of drifting now - I lost another 2.5 lbs this week which is great plus it was measurement week and I've tallied up my changes. Since Jan 8th this year I have lost 9.5" off my waist . I've even lost 3/4" off my neck of all places!!!. I've only lost 4.5" off my bust though to my husbands delight - he wants me to lose it everywhere else but not there!
I can see the difference so clearly now and every week I can see the weight drop off - I've never been on a diet like this I'm hooked totally. It's a good job this diet is keeping my spirits up though because evrything else is getting me down.....
I said last time that my job might be changing well they've decided to advertise it and I'm expected to apply and go through the whole interview process for a job my boss wants me to do anyway and at the end of itI don't even get a promotion or more money...and if, and it could happen, someone else applies and gets the job I'm left humiliated.
I could do without the hassle to be honest. I still have theat MBA assignment to finish it is now very late and I have barely started. On top of which my 1st year exam is on June 6th and I need to do some serious preparation. I am really beginning to doubt my abilities to complete tjhis course. I'v signed up for the 2nd year (stupid or brave?) but I have started to lay the foundations for not completing the 3rd year. After 2 years I get the Diploma of Management and to be honest with my long term plans I probably don't need an MBA anyway.
Talking of which some good news to end on. I have got my appointment with the emigration consultants on 22 May to discuss our plans to move to Oz. It seems I have a couple of options (I'm the principal applicant as Hubby is too old), one of which is only a temporary visa and we will need to move within 18 months before I get too old - the other more complicated route is for a permanent visa but we would have upto 5 years to move. Personally I prefer the temporary route - I'd like to move in 18 months and the temporary route allows us to consider our options - but hubby doesn't want to move before the London Olympics in 2012...bah humbug. May have to change his mind - maybe some new lingerie to go with the new figure?
Thank you for your positive comments - it really helps keep me on the straight an narrow. Losing another 3.5lbs last week was another boost to my will power. The weight keeps rolling off I keep expecting it to come to a halt but so far (fingers and toes crossed) it has kept on going. The guys at work have even started commenting on it and if abunch of engineers notice it must be showing!!
I'm shattered right now - I've been working so hard the last couple of months as I had a couple of p[roject bids to get in - the last one went in this afternoon so I get a short respite now - except not really because that MBA assignment is still outstanding. I got an extension but I really have to buckle down now and get it done. No more prevarication (I'm trying to psyche myself up but I'm not sure it's working.)
Looks like my job's about to change it's a sort of promotion. I say sort of coz it's alot more work but probably no more money...hmmm something is not right there!!!
Well I've uploadfed an after shot - I've chosen the back view because it actually shows the difference the most. I know I have a long way to go but my bum has really shrunk and I can't believe the difference around my shoulders. Just imagine what the next 3 stone will do!!
I went for my weigh in on Monday and got on the scales very nervously and I'd lost 4lbs (in 2 weeks). I was resigned but a little disappointed as I needed 4.5lbs to hit the 3 stone mark but my Counsellor made me get off the scale and take off all extraneous jewellry and clothing (no I didn't strip to my underwear) I got on again and the display wavered and droped just that fraction more so she called it 4.5lbs just so i could make may target. hee hee.
It was quite funny I wans't that bothered - what's half a pound but they more or less guarantee that if you stick to the diet you will lose 3 stone minimum and I only did 2 stone 13.5 lbs but I won't be suing I'm just delighted to have made it this far. I reckon I need to lose another 3.5 stone which will probably take me another 5 months at the rate I am going but at least it's a foreseeable future. I really, REALLY believe I can do this. I'm even planning what I'm going to wear, and how I'm going to have my (I'm going to get shoulder length extensions as my goal present to myself).
I was going to upload my photos but the difference isn't as noticeable as I'd hoped. I will though when I get the nerve up.
Well I've come to the end of my first 100 days known an the Foundation stage. I go for my weigh in tonight and it will cover 2 weeks as last Monday was a bank holiday and we didn't get weighed. I've got fingers (and toes) crossed that I've lost 4.5 lbs which will take me to the 3 stone exactly...please!!!
We get our before pictures back tonight and have our after pictures taken, but I've done my own personal before & after shots too and to be honest I can't see that much difference. 3 stone is alot of weight but it's less that half of what I need to lose to get down to the top of "normal" range for my height so I gues it's the next few stone that will show more on me.
Havinf said that though my clothes are getting too big for me (at last) which is quite satisfying. I'm not planning on replacing them yet though because a. there is no point if I'm going to keep losing weight and b. I get a secret thrill about wearing clothes that hang off me.
The next stage of the diet is actually just more of the same for me - still more total food replacement working on my average loss of 2.5lbs a week I reckon it will take to the end of August to get down to a weight I can be happy with (although that might still be a little larger than the recommended). So I'm staying positive at least the hunger which plagued me for 3 months has now truly gone so it's just the emotional hunger pangs I have to deal with.... Smoked Salmon. Smoked salmon, Smoked salmon it's driving me mad with desire.
I'm taking my huby to a posh restaurant for his 50th in October. I've booked it already cos it gets full quickly. They have this on-line menu so I torture myself by reading through and deciding what I'm going to eat - so sad.
I've got some after pics I need to download soon - maybe the difference will show in them?
Well it's another 2.5lbs this week so I'm getting there. I'm feeling more positive today than I have for a couple of weeks. It's a lovely spring day today, the sun is shining which always makes me feel so much better, my tutor at college is happy to extend the deadline for my Managing Information assignment and my meeting with some of my fellow students gave me some direction in where I am going with it, I found out my team at work won one of the major bids we had tendered for which is a great coup for me personally, I had a meeting with my boss and a couple of my colleagues and we agreed a new structure for our business that is a good compromise (after 6 months of debate!) and my husband comes home tomorrow from his second skiing holiday. Life is not so bad after all....Actually I wasn't depressed just very stressed and I am still under alot of pressure (my assignment is still due in and I still have 2 other major tenders at work that need my attention and I still have over 3 1/2 stone to lose) but that's the difference, pressure is exciting, it keeps you motivated, stress tires you out and wears you down.
Actually I'm always more positive when the sun shines it really releases the endorphins. It's one of the reasons I want to emigrate to Australia - I want a different lifestyle. To be honest I think I've gone as far as I want to in a standrad job. I'm a senior manager in a business and I enjoy bening in charge, and managing the direction of the business and until I got this job I was always really ambitious and striving for the next level. Recently I felt I don't want that anymore, I want to be my own boss, I want to make my own decisions but I don't want to be part of this chain of management with all the ridiculous office politics in involves. So I have a dream - my dream is to move Western Australia and set up my own business - possibly a franchise opportunity. To have a lifestyle of my own choosing and to be my own boss. I've been looking into the visa situation and I need to apply now before I hit 40 (hubby is 50 this year so he is too old for a working visa and too young for a retirement visa) - but I need approval as a Civil Engineer which is a skill in demand, but I'm not sure I've got enough technical background. I've discussed my plans with hubby and he is supportive in a sort of dismissive way. You know he say yeah that's a great idea we'll think about sometime!! So I've told him sometime is no time, and I've got to do it now if I am to have any chance of getting enough points, but he just mutters and tries to avoid the situation, Anyway I've made the decision I'm booking an appointment to see an emigration agent and start putting the wheels in motion. I'd like to move within the next 3 years that is my goal and I WILL SUCCEED.
Well it's coming off. i felt good on Monday when I realised i had lost 2 and a half stone in 11 weeks until one of the women said she was 3 lbs off her 4 stone mark in the same time period. I must admit knowing other women - the same size as me - can lose it faster is frustrating but it is still a fantastic achievement
My clothes are definatley looser too now, a couple of items are unwearable but most still fit. The good part is that I tried on those items in my wardrbe that I'd bought over the years but which never fitted- you never take them back because you are intending to slim down into them and now I have
Finished my Managing People assignement on time and got a B- which is better than the last assignement but I'm struggling with my Managing Information one I've had to ask for an extension.....
Feeling a bit blue today - hubby has left for another skiing holiday and I'm under a lot of pressure at work and on my course. All I can think about is food today so I'm here trying to stay away from temptation. Only another 5 months to go by my reckoning!!!
. I've even lost 3/4" off my neck of all places!!!. I've only lost 4.5" off my bust though to my husbands delight - he wants me to lose it everywhere else but not there!
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