Yippee - 5 stone = 70lbs

I've lost 5 stone exactly now - that was one of my key goals.

Working at home today got to see the dentist mid morning - it's a re lief actually my whole working life now revolves around people issues. Considering I've always said I'm not a people person that is tough. I'm resposnible for improving our recruitment practices and improving retention rates across the business but I'm not a HR person - actually I'm an engineer - so I'm a little out of my depth to be honest. But it's a challenge!!!

Disappointing!

Definately slowing up now. I only lost 1/2 lb last week (although I was weighed late and had alreday drunk all my 4 litres for the day) I usually drink my last litre after weigh in). But the scales are looking slow this week too! It was TOM, which helps explain last week but that should mean a bigger loss this week and that is just not showing on the scales.

Trying not to feel too depressed - I know I've still got 2 stone (28lbs) to go and 10 weeks to get there which is not likely - I'm losing on average 2.5lbs a week and that has slowed up to 2.3 lbs in the last month or so. At worst maybe I'll lose another 20lbs - that's not so bad is it?

Aaargh - it's frustrating I've got so far and now it seems to be slowing up - fingers crossed tomorrow is better than I'm expecting.

Going Forward

I had a good week last week 3.5 lbs off but the scales aren't showing much movement this week - I'm due on next week and I always slow up the week before. Reading that sounds like I have normal regular cycles doesn't it? Actually I know I'm due on next week because last week I got the sharp, painful stitch in my side that sometimes occurs 2 weeks before my period starts. I have never ever been regular, my average cycle time is currently 42 days but it varies significantly within that. It's always been the same ever since I was teenager and I've got used to it. About 2 years ago I went over 90 days without a period so i went to the doctor (I wasn't pregnant I did a test) and was finally sent for an ultrascan to test for Polycycstic Ovaries - the results were "consistent"with PCO's. It explained alot to me - why I had always had difficulty losing weight, why my periods were so erratic and even why I regulalrly got the excrutiating mid cycle pain at ovulation time. Following this diet has evidenced that I lose weight at approximately 2/3 the speed of the "average" woman. Whereas most of my fellow dieters lose a stone a month I'm losing a stone every 6 weeks. But at least I'm losing which keeps me going.

I don't know why I'm going into this now - well I guess I do actually - I've just recieved a letter from my doctors surgery, a new doctor has just joined and she specialises in women's problems and she has requested I go into to speak to her. That's an interesting turn up because no doctor has ever shown the slightest interest in my problems before. Even when I was diagnosed I was told there was nothing they could do and I would just have to learn to live with it - which I have done for the last 30 year. Added to that is that I have found a diet that works and I've been monitoring the impact of my weight loss on my cycle length - it's a bit early to say but there is a trend towards a shorter cycle length. That last few periods have been all around 35 - 38 days apart. I wonder if this means I'm more fertile? I came off the pill 4 years ago, without much hope I have to admit, and I've been proven right. Not sure that I want to be fertile now I'm approaching 40 rapidly and my husband is 50 this year - think I'm past the having kids stage . Actually I've never had a strong desire for kids - I know some people might think that's strange - When I got married I though it might be nice if it happened but now I rather think it's too late - not physically but mentally, I don't think I'd adapt very well. Does that make me selfish or sensible?

Oooh I've been a bit deep tonight haven't I?

New Photo

As promised I've uploaded a new photo now I've lost 4.5stone. The swimming costume I'm wearing is a size 14 o it's a snug fit bit it's a fit!!! Still got to reduce the size if that arse though.

Still positive - 4.5 stone down

Well it was a 1 lb loss this week, but after 5lbs last week I was expecting that but the brings me to exactly 4.5 stone off (63.5lbs). The scales are still moving this week too - I've got 12 weeks to go now as i'm finishing this diet on 10 September 2007 - so countdown had begun.

I've had a hungry week this week. It's funny how that happens I go through weeks fine hardly noticing that I'm not really eating and then BANG...my stomache starts rumbling and I want to eat. It;s hard then but so far I have resisted and the feeling does go away. One tricj I have found is mouthwash. I good gargle with a fresh minty mouthwash tricks your body into thinking it has eaten...it really works!

Well I got through work this week, although i did have to tick my boss off for going over my head again - he can't resist in getting involved in detail but that's what he pays me for, so just let me do my job!!!

But on the whole a very positive week as I got lot's of positive strokes (ie. compliments) some of the guys at work started joking that I was wasting away (not quite true yet but good to hear) and my husband can't believe the difference in me and show's his appreciation in other ways (not for discussion on here!)

Feeling good!!

I had my exam on Wednesday last week and all things consdiering I'm feeling quite confident. I had to answer three questions and I'm confident about 2, the third was a little more tricky but everyone said the same so i should have done enough to get through. But better than that I had a good weight loss last week and have got down to my lowest adult weigh which is fantastic. I then went to see my parents in kent after the exam for a short break and i haven't seen my paretns since february and I've lost 3 1/2 stone since then. My Mum and dad were both amazed at the diffrence and really supported me in this (they originally had some concerns but they can see it working and they can see I'm fit and healthy.) I also had to clear out my wardrobe nothing fitted anymore it was all too BIG. So I had to go shopping for some SMALLER clothes - wow that was fantasis. I seem to be a size 16 now (which I think is a US 12?) and I even bought a pair of shorts in a 14. My waist measures 30" - which is less than some of the woman who are at goal - but my bum is still massive - but hey you can't have everything.

I'm going to get some photos taken this weekend to show the difference. If they are good I'll upload them.

I'm feeling chipper at the moment - let's hope work doesn't bring me down again........................

Stress and Panic

Well am I a little overwrought or what! Aargh - my first year MBA exam on Wednesday - it's based on case 3 case studies and I'm supposed to analyse the case studies in advance so that I have the anlysis to answer whatever the question maybe in the exam. I say supposed to because as i explained my job changed on me last week. My new boss has had several loooong meetings with me to discuss my new role and wants me to pick up the reins immediately although I haven't actually handed over the old job yet. Not to mention the fact that he has a management style that I am having difficulty adjusting to. Let's just say I feel like I am back at school. Do you know he actually got his secretary to call me at 4.45pm on Thursday afternoon to ask me to make my way back to his office for a meeting on something he had heard on the grapevine about which he wasn't happy. The fact that I was actually on the other side of London on my way to another meeting didn't seem to cross his mind - I refused of course and had to go see him first thing the next morning - and yes he had got completely the wrong end of the stick. I am a senior manager in this business i am not an errant schoolgirl - if he continues to treat me like that I won't be hanging around for long I can tell you!!

Anyway back to the point because I've been trying to do two jobs and deal with my new manager I have not been able to do as much revision as I need too. I'm off work now til the exam but that is only 4 days - HELP!

A few twitterings

I'm not very good at this - it's getting longer and longer between postings. I just seem to say the same thing each time. I don't know whether I just lead a very quiet uneventful sort of life or whether I go through life with my head in the clouds and just not notice the "exciting" things going on around me.

I'm a lb off my 4 stone at the moment but that should change tomorrow at me weigh in  - so it's still coming off nice and steadily. Nothing really to say about that.

Work is a different matter though. I mentioned in my earlier witterings that we are going through a bit of a reorganisation and that I'd been asked to apply for a specific job in the new structure. Well - I didn't get it! Actually they offered me another job, one that wasn't actually advertised  and has been created just for me. I don't know quite how to feel about it to be honest. Did they do that because I wasn't up to the original job? Or did I impress them so much they decided I deserved a special job?? I'm kind of see-sawing between the two at the moment. My new job is as a "Technical Director" - I used to manage a whole division (60 people) but now I won't manage anyone at all - instead I'll be involved in reviewing issues across the whole business (ie. recruitment strategy, developing new business products, identifying skill gaps and reviewng our accommodation strategy) These things are important I know but I will be remote from the day to day to operation of the business and I'll sit to one side in the structure. Am I being deliberately sidelined? Or do they think I have the skills to help develop and push the business in new directions? (reason given to me for the job move). I'm sitting down with the boss on Tuesday to talk through the new role in more detail so hopefully I'll be a bit more sure of myself after that... but for now I'm just confused.

In the 12's

I know my posts are becoming sporadic  - I'm kind of running out of things to say. I'm losing fairly steadily - I weighed in under 13 stone for the first time in close to 10 years - and I'm over the moon. I still get a bit dispirited when I hear how fast some of the others are losing. One woman in my group reached goal this week - she had lost 6 stone in 5 months (that's 84lbs for those in the USA) - but she looked fantastic and was a totally different character to the depressed worrier who joined the group - so I also felt quite proud too. I reckon I should hit goal in early September which is not so far away but I really beileve that when I've broken through the 12 stone mark - I've never been below 12 stone (168lbs) in my adult life so that will be a watershed moment for me.

Actually the fact that I have always been big to varying degrees, but always big, has given me a different perspective on life to many of the women in my group. We do alot of these tasks/ thought processes etc, which are supposed to reinforce that fat is bad and thin is good. We talked this week about what it is like to life in a hypothetical land called Fat Land as opposed to Thin Land and the discussion was around Fat Land being full of fast food places and outsiize clothes shops but no gyms are designer clothes shops, while thin land was full of activities and fine food restaurants  and designer clothes and holiday shops. I didn't agree at all - I'm not fat because I ate nothing but fast food and took no exercise and I didn't hibernate away and refuse to do things or hate going on holiday. I am who I am, and I enjoy doing what I enjoy doing - I love good food, I love exercising (I used to be more active before I started this diet but had to cut back due to the reduced calorie intake) I love holidays and yes of course I'd feel a little self concious on the beach but it didn't stop me going. It didn't stop me scuba diving. I also bought good clothes (I'm not a designer freak and I won't be when I've lost the weight either) but I like quality clothing and although not easy I found clothes in my size ( and I was one of the biggest in the group remember. Of course I want to be slimmer so I can be healthier, so I can find nice outfits easier, so I can fit into seats properly, so I don't take up too much space, but most of all so I can prove to myself that I can succeed at anything I want to do. This is the one area of my life I have persistently failed to achieve in and I hate that!! Life doesn't stop because you are fat - I have a good career (promotion in the offering - interview on Thursday). I have a lovely husband who is my soulmate and I enjoy fantastic holidays and a great social life so what have I got to apologise for - Yes a healthy weight is better for you but being fat should not make you a social outcast and I really wish people would stop assuming it does......ther you go rant over!! 

Another week goes by....

I'm sort of drifting now - I lost another 2.5 lbs this week which is great plus it was measurement week and I've tallied up my changes. Since Jan 8th this year I have lost 9.5" off my waist . I've even lost 3/4" off my neck of all places!!!. I've only lost 4.5" off my bust though to my husbands delight - he wants me to lose it everywhere else but not there!

I can see the difference so clearly now and every week I can see the weight drop off - I've never been on a diet like this I'm hooked totally. It's a good job this diet is keeping my spirits up though because evrything else is getting me down.....

I said last time that my job might be changing well they've decided to advertise it and I'm expected to apply and go through the whole interview process for a job my boss wants me to do anyway and at the end of  itI don't even get a promotion or more money...and if, and it could happen, someone else applies and gets the job I'm left humiliated.

I could do without the hassle to be honest. I still have theat MBA assignment to finish it is now very late and I have barely started. On top of which my 1st year exam is on June 6th and I need to do some serious preparation. I am really beginning to doubt my abilities to complete tjhis course. I'v signed up for the 2nd year (stupid or brave?) but I have started to lay the foundations for not completing the 3rd year. After 2 years I get the Diploma of Management and to be honest with my long term plans I probably don't need an MBA anyway.

Talking of which some good news to end on. I have got my appointment with the emigration consultants on 22 May to discuss our plans to move to Oz. It seems I have a couple of options (I'm the principal applicant as Hubby is too old), one of which is only a temporary visa and we will need to move within 18 months before I get too old - the other more complicated route is for a permanent visa but we would have upto 5 years to move. Personally I prefer the temporary route - I'd like to move in 18 months and the temporary route allows us to consider our options - but hubby doesn't want to move before the London Olympics in 2012...bah humbug. May have to change his mind - maybe some new lingerie to go with the new figure?