09/21/2011 00:58
3rd time lucky
Well I had my third fill last week - my weight had stayed the same again. On it's own that is an achievement as I'm not "dieting", I'm not counting calories or eating packaged foods or drinking meal replacement shakes - I'm just listening to my body and eating good food. It's such a relief on it's own that I can do that - having been on (or more to the point breaking) some diet or other all my life - well from the age of about 10 anyway. I have carried this constant feeling of guilt and obsession with food with me for 30+ years - it had worn me down to the point I didn't know how to act around food anymore. I'm not saying I've beat the demons but the load has definately lightened - I still get the urge to "treat" myself but I'm finding coz I can't eat as much I'm weighing up eating that choclate bar or having the nice seafood salad as I know I wouldn't be able to manage both - and mostly the seafood salad is winning.
Having said that I haven't yet started the weight loss part of my journey but fingers crossed the 3rd fill may ahve helped. I can actually feel the restriction now as I eat. I can feel the food pass through the band and I can't eat very quickly - I have to pause between mouthfuls to let the food pass through - if I try to eat too fast I get indigestion. I think partly because I have to eat slower and partly coz I hate cold "hot" food - nothing worse than congealed gravy - I'm definately eating smaller portions. Bread has become very difficult to process - I can only eay a very small portion (i'm talking 1/2 a slice maximum) and it fills me up very quickly. So I'm feeling positive that the sacles will show a decreases when I go back for my checkup next week. I'm not expecting anything dramatic yet coz I'm still getting hungry between meals and I'm having to eat small snacks like yoghurt and fruit to keep the cravings for "bad" awayand I know when the band is at it's optimum setting it should stop me feeling hungry between meals. So I'm intending to have another small fill next week as well and hopefully I might be there. Woohoo