In the 12's

I know my posts are becoming sporadic  - I'm kind of running out of things to say. I'm losing fairly steadily - I weighed in under 13 stone for the first time in close to 10 years - and I'm over the moon. I still get a bit dispirited when I hear how fast some of the others are losing. One woman in my group reached goal this week - she had lost 6 stone in 5 months (that's 84lbs for those in the USA) - but she looked fantastic and was a totally different character to the depressed worrier who joined the group - so I also felt quite proud too. I reckon I should hit goal in early September which is not so far away but I really beileve that when I've broken through the 12 stone mark - I've never been below 12 stone (168lbs) in my adult life so that will be a watershed moment for me.

Actually the fact that I have always been big to varying degrees, but always big, has given me a different perspective on life to many of the women in my group. We do alot of these tasks/ thought processes etc, which are supposed to reinforce that fat is bad and thin is good. We talked this week about what it is like to life in a hypothetical land called Fat Land as opposed to Thin Land and the discussion was around Fat Land being full of fast food places and outsiize clothes shops but no gyms are designer clothes shops, while thin land was full of activities and fine food restaurants  and designer clothes and holiday shops. I didn't agree at all - I'm not fat because I ate nothing but fast food and took no exercise and I didn't hibernate away and refuse to do things or hate going on holiday. I am who I am, and I enjoy doing what I enjoy doing - I love good food, I love exercising (I used to be more active before I started this diet but had to cut back due to the reduced calorie intake) I love holidays and yes of course I'd feel a little self concious on the beach but it didn't stop me going. It didn't stop me scuba diving. I also bought good clothes (I'm not a designer freak and I won't be when I've lost the weight either) but I like quality clothing and although not easy I found clothes in my size ( and I was one of the biggest in the group remember. Of course I want to be slimmer so I can be healthier, so I can find nice outfits easier, so I can fit into seats properly, so I don't take up too much space, but most of all so I can prove to myself that I can succeed at anything I want to do. This is the one area of my life I have persistently failed to achieve in and I hate that!! Life doesn't stop because you are fat - I have a good career (promotion in the offering - interview on Thursday). I have a lovely husband who is my soulmate and I enjoy fantastic holidays and a great social life so what have I got to apologise for - Yes a healthy weight is better for you but being fat should not make you a social outcast and I really wish people would stop assuming it does......ther you go rant over!!