I finally bought a bathing suit online on Sunday. It's funny how a piece of material that goes on only half of your body can cost so much (especially when you're a big girl like myself). I decided to buy one because I want to take some water aerobics classes at my local rec center this summer (it is going to start next week) but I don't have a bathing suit to use for it. I do have a tankini that I bought last year but a) I don't know where the bottoms are to it and b) it doesn't have the best support for the twins. After much research, I bought a decent priced one from Old Navy (it was only $39.50 compared to $100 ones I saw at macys.com). It is a black one piece with straps that cross in the back. I didn't want to spend too much money on it especially since I've been holding off on buying any new clothes until I lose weight. I should be receiving it at the end of this week or beginning of next week.
I will be jazzing it up with swimming shorts and maybe a tank top. I am very self-conscious about my legs and don't really care for them at the moment. (YUCK!) I figure I'm doing everyone a great justice by covering them up until I can feel more confident wearing a bathing suit (and I look much better in one too!). The thing that will suck is the fact that the pool where the classes will be held are outside, and the weather has been extremely cold the past couple of weeks (it looks more like fall or winter rather than spring to be honest with you). My mom even told me that there might be rain in the forecast. LOVELY...NOT! I'll let you know how it goes...
Today is the first of the month. A new beginning for me. It is poetic because 2008 is halfway over. My new goal is to weigh 225 lbs by December 31. Even though I have my main goal for the rest of the year, my first mini goal is to reach 270 lbs. I figure mini goals aren't as scary as the big goal at hand. I am feeling good about it this time. I have been thinking long and hard about it all, and I know I will be so much better off when I lose weight. I know it is attainable as long as I make the effort. Anything is possible as long as I put my mind to it! :0)
I weighed myself this morning after I took a shower (naked) and it read 276.7. I usually weigh myself a couple of times to make sure the reading is accurate. I don't know if it was the spot where I normally put the scale or when I moved it to another spot that the number decided to change. I don't think the floor in the hallway is completely level either (even though it is hardwood floor). When I moved the scale back to the original spot, the number jumped up to 278.1. :0( So I decided to get dressed and weigh myself again since this will be the normal way for me to weigh myself anyway, and it went to 278.5. *sigh* I decided to just use the bigger number since it kept at that weight every time I weighed myself. I need to find a really level spot for next time so I can have the most accurate reading I can get. I don't want to have false readings (and false hope) if the numbers aren't actually right. I also need to find the tape measure so I can take my inital measurements of my body. I will also ask my sister to take pictures of me so I could document my progress in every which way I can. It will be good to look back on all that I accomplish. :0)
After I eat dinner I will prepare for tomorrow. Lunch will consist of salad with grilled chicken. I haven't decided which diet I want to start on so I will just work on eating healthier and portion control for now. My exercise goal is to take a walk after I eat lunch along with taking my dogs for a walk when I get home from work. I will also try to walk on the treadmill for half an hour before I eat dinner. Sounds like a plan! :0)
I'm in the process of choosing songs for my workout playlists. Kylie Minogue's Fever album is a definite choice for a treadmill session since the album is full of uptempo songs. I'm also going to make a Madonna playlist because she has some good dance tunes. I want songs that will motivate me as I exercise with good beats, words, etc. I don't have a very big list right now because I can't think of many songs off the top of my head. If I was at home I would sooo be looking at my extensive iTunes collection...
These are the songs I have so far:
Walk Away by Kelly Clarkson
Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake
Don't Stop the Music by Rihanna
Damaged by Danity Kane
Way You Are by Timbaland
That's about it! I'll work on it more during the weekend since I'm having music block at the moment (even with my radio on at work lol). I would listen to the local dance station, but I don't get any reception for it at my house. BOO!
Question for everyone: What songs do you listen to while working out? Suggestions are greatly appreciated! :0) BTW, I love all kinds of music and don't listen to just one specific genre if that helps! Thanks in advance!!!
I was watching So You Think You Can Dance with my sister last night. There were so many really good dancers on there. I was admiring the women's bodies since they were so lean and fit! I wish I could have a body like theirs!!! They were very flexible and agile too. I used to take ballet long time ago but stopped. My sister and I weren't serious about it. My mom thought it would be fun for us if anything. I wish I didn't stop now because I would probably be more disiplined to exercise than I am now. Ballet is a good work out too! If only we could turn back the hands of time... I would love to take a dance class once I've lost some weight. I also want to take a ballroom class but have to find a partner for that one.
My sister told me some good news today. She is on her way to being cancer free. (my sister was diagnosed with non-hodgkin lymphoma last year). She had an appointment with her oncologist today, and he told her the mass in her chest wall has shrank substantially and the activity is dulling down to just scar tissue. WOO HOO!!! I'm soooo HAPPY to hear this!!!! Just wanted to share my joy with you.
Time to get back to watching American Idol because I think David is going to win tonight...HAHAHA!!! LOL
I know I really need to lose weight when some of my pants start getting tight. I have been very good about not buying any new clothes this year until I went down in size. I’ve kept myself to it but I haven’t lost any weight (if any I gained a few more pounds). The defining moment was when I was wearing one of my favorite pair of capris and got a rip in one of the legs as I was bending down to play with one of my dogs. Luckily I was at home when it happened or else I would have been so mortified!!!
When I would gain weight before, I would just buy new pants and/or shirts to accommodate my size. Instead of doing this, I should have just made myself lose the weight then. I would just mask the fact that I was getting bigger. It would have been much easier then since I wasn’t so big back then. It’s a shame that I’ve let myself get to this point…
My pant size has been a 22 for awhile now. I refuse to shop for size 24 pants! This is the last straw for me!!! I need to work these big thighs (among everything else) out if i want to buy new clothes. It's time for me to get moving!
I didn’t get much sleep last night. I picked my sister up from the airport (she was in NYC for 4 days) late last night and happily caught up with her before going to bed at 1 am. (I wish I took that much needed nap yesterday afternoon now!). So here I am at work, tired and grumpy, not wanting to be here at all. :0( I would love to be asleep in bed at this very moment but I can’t have it all right?
I just derived an equation right now for my mood at work based on how much sleep I had the night before, what the weather is like outside and the level of annoyance I get from dealing with my coworkers (I’ve never dealt with so much rudeness, bitterness, attitude, and nosiness from a bunch of co-workers before in my life! MUST. FIND. NEW. JOB!).
Let’s see, today’s equation is:
Less than 5 hours sleep gray, foggy, and cold outside loud, rude, and nosy co-workers = GRUMPY!!!
I came up with this equation because I honestly believe these factors help decide what kind of mood I’ll be at work. The weather is a main factor of this equation. Last week the weather was so nice, sunny, and hot, and I was in a pretty good mood here at work. I tried not to let the rude disturbances get to me, and although I was tired I was in such a good mood that the day would go by pretty fast.
The weather forecast for this week is supposed to be back to cold, windy, foggy days with the highs being at the most in the lower 60's around the coast...LOVELY...NOT!!! I better go to bed right after Dancing with the Stars tonight if I want to be in somewhat of a good mood tomorrow! LOL :0P
I had the started the year off with high hopes in getting myself together only to fall back on old habits and lack of motivation. Although a lot has been going on in my life during the past year and a half, that is no excuse to let myself go YETAGAIN! I know what I have to do to get myself where I need to be but couldn't seem to get it together...until now. Half of the year is over, and I am still where I started (plus a few more pounds). What is wrong with me???
All I know is I need to get my crap together and do something about my weight. I've been watching various programs regarding weight loss and obesity lately and it's given me valuable insight into what can happen to me if I keep letting myself go like this. I'm not getting any younger, and I want to live a long life. Now how am I going to acheive this if I don't do anything about it? The weight isn't going to come off on its own! DUH!!!
I have new motivation to get my ish together. There is going to be a get-together/reunion with my old co-workers next month. I haven't seen most of them since I left my old job in August 2006. We were a pretty close-knit "family" of sorts with about 60 employees in the company (I do still miss working there to this day...). What better way to jump start my journey than to try to lose 10lbs before the event? I know I can do this. I know I am capable of accomplishing this fete...
I've only eaten fast food once since I gave it up for Lent back in February (which is pretty good considering how much I used to eat it before). I've also been trying not to buy junk food anymore, and surprisingly I don't crave it as much as I used to (don't get me wrong I do crave it at times but try to resist the urge). Fried food is still a bit of a problem especially when my mom cooks something that I happen to like. French fries don't have as much of an effect on me as the used to though! WOO HOO!!! :0) And when I do eat something fried lately I get a little sick after eating it since it is so greasy so I guess you can say that's progress. :0)
I'm hoping to go to Costco with my mom later so I can buy more healthy food like veggies and chicken breast for my salads . I'm trying to bring my lunch to work each day so I can save money and eat healthier in the process. My goal for this week is to have a salad each day for lunch, take more walks during my breaks at work (especially since the weather has been much nicer lately), and take my dogs for walks after I get home from work. I know what I need to do to get where I want to be. It's always the first step that has always been hard for me, but I know it is within my grasp to accomplish. No more excuses for me! It's time for me to get a move on!!! :0)
I know it's been a long time since I last posted on EP. A lot has been going on in all aspects of my life, and I haven't had a real chance to sit down and type (and trust me there were many times I wanted to too!). I'm now ready to really start my journey (yet again). No BS this time!
So I've decided to make a new goal for myself. One of my cousins is turning 21 in August, and my whole family and I are planning a big trip to Vegas to celebrate this milestone. My goal is to lose at least 25 lbs from now until mid August when we go. I know I won't reach my ultimate goal by then, but I want to feel better about myself. I'm tired of being my current weight and having my pants feel snug (I refuse to buy any new clothes until my clothes feel lose.).
I'm going to be taking water aerobics classes at my neighborhood rec center starting in June while also walking more (during breaks at work, with the dogs when I get home from work, and on the treadmill) and going to gym even just on the weekends. I'm going to practice portion control and eat more fruits and vegetables along with substituting brown rice instead of my usual white rice with the food my mom makes. I will save money and bring lunch to work. I haven't had fast food since I gave it up for Lent and will continue with that along with eating much less junk food.
I know I am capable of reaching this goal. I need to get into the mind set and really motivate myself. Life is too short, and I'm not getting any younger!
I will catch up with everyone sometime during the weekend. I hope everyone is doing well! I am finally back and ready to go! Seriously this time! :0)
I saw The Biggest Loser last night and was sad that Mark left. He was such a good motivator for the Blue Team. Watching the show makes me wish I could join next season. Though it can look really tough, that is the kind of motivation and support I think I need right now. It’s hard to get motivated when people don’t take me seriously sometimes. If I knew my bills would be taken care of, I would so apply for it! I have too much financial responsibility and lack of vacation hours right now to take time out for something like that. I would even take time off from work without pay if I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about my bills. A girl can dream though right?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately. There is so much running through my mind right now. March will be the month for me to finally get my shit together. No more slacking off and procrastinating. A lot is going on in my life right now, but it’s time for me to be first priority because no one else is going to really make me happy except for ME. I have determination now and know I can motivate myself without anyone’s help. At this point I feel as though I can only really rely on myself after years of hoping people would be there for me. It’s all good though. I am losing weight and getting healthier for me and only me anyway. I’m tired of catering to everyone else in my life. Too much disappointment and resentment on my part. I’m ready to really start the new phase of my life. I know there will be so many positive and healthy benefits in the end.
I’m actually looking forward to March 1st. It is a new month for new beginnings, and I’m ready for my journey to stop stalling and really begin. I know now that I can do this since my head and heart are really into it now. There is no stopping me now! :0)
