Waistlines, spare tires, new clothes and POOP!
Don't worry. I'll warn you when the poop is coming...
I really hate measuring myself because I'm sure I'm doing it wrong. Firstly, doesn't anyone but me notice that fat people (and fat people who have lost weight) have an extra area between waist and hips, sometimes known as a spare tire often ending up looking like a massive bunch of spare skin and always measuring differently. In any event, I'll measure better tomorrow before eating a massive breakfast and drinking three cups of coffee & 32oz of water.
I need an extra area, and thankfully -- at least last time I added my measurements here -- this is the only place that doesn't demand I ignore my spare tire/top hips. What I suspect are my real hips also have my butt behind them. Do I include that? If not, where do I add my butt?
The whole thing is ridiculous, since it doesn't matter. I just want to look good. I have PTSD, and this makes my stress level always about a zillion times "normal." People without PTSD have described to me what it feels like to almost be in a car accident: that's how I feel all the time. It's why I can't sleep (zero hours last night again, and I'm supposed to fly to LA today, but I'm thinking no.) Anyway, since we've all been working on losing weight, I'd bet we've all read how cortisole fires and causes belly fat. It's not helping my measurements, and the only way to get rid of this is lose all my weight then keep doing cardio...forever, I suppose. As I type this, I'm sitting on my exercise ball. I read it's better than regular sitting, and if I could stop bouncing myself off, I'd be fine.
Despite the tummy fat, I got some new normally sized jeans, two pairs actually, a pair of leggings and on a whim, I bought myself a dress without trying it on. I knew I wouldn't be happy with the way I looked, and I'm pretty sure it'll fit eventually, so if it doesn't fit now, I'll save it for goal -- or on the way to goal. Two more massive bags of almost-new clothes go to the homeless. I am glad actually, since I know larger sizes are always needed, but it isn't a good thing that a few of these things I've never worn (because my mother will NOT stop buying me clothes,) and many that have only been worn once or twice. TONS of ugly ugly ugly pants and my way-to-huge-to-wear jeans I've been wearing (and holding up) for a while now. I'll keep the next pair down though, since they've been good to me, and it's not inconceivable that I'll need them again someday, but I certainly hope they will go away and the ones I just bought will become the "just in case" pair.
OK, here comes a discussion of poop, or lack thereof:
I tend not to do that much -- the pooping thing, and I know it's because my body is in starvation mode and normally I don't eat, but this happens every time I start to eat too: I simply do not shit!
I am getting tons of fiber, and I've tried all the extra fiber powders etc in the past. They don't help, and I'm pretty sure they actually made it worse. I'm trying to make sure I get good fats and real grains (this morning I had a huge breakfast that included a bit of avocado as an appetizer & kashi, so I'm getting OK with the breakfast bit, and so long as it's something I don't hate to eat, I'm OK.) I already need to burn more than 3000 calories a day if I'm to eat 2200 and still lose a pound a week. If some of it doesn't go away naturally, I'm screwed, and I don't want to have a more distended abdomen either. I was thinking of just using regular colonic irrigation. I'm drinking tons of water, and I don't know what else to do, but I'm gonna keep an eye on this situation, because I don't want to notice a month from now that I've not pooped.
And with that, I need to get a move on. This weekend is cooking/cleaning and perhaps a bit of going dancing (both cardio AND fun.)
Be well -- Ella