Shopping

I went shopping today for an outfit for Easter Sunday. I have to admit that shopping is not my favorite thing. Not for clothes and certainly not for me. But I went anyway. To my surprise, I am down two whole pants sizes and one shirt size. I am also down 2 dress sizes. I feel fantastic about that. I ended up not buying the dress. Only because I am still not comfortable in them. I did however buy the beautiful pants set. I was amazed to see (with the help of a wonderful sales associate) that I have been buying my clothes entirely too big. That was music to my ears!!!

Holy Cow It's been too Long

I can't believe that it's been a month since I've been on to blog. Shame on me.  Well I've been doing well. I'm down to 268lbs now. Thats 22lbs since I started in Jan.  I've had some good days and I've had some not so great days, but I am getting through it.  My support system seems to be gettinf stronger which I am so grateful for. I couldn't do this without all of my great friends and family backing me. 

Since Aaron has been gone I have had to try to stay busy. Between WW and schooling the girls, I haven't had too much of a problem with that.  It's so lonely without him. September can't roll around fast enough for me.  I do hope to have a new body for when he comes home.  What a surprise that would be for him. I can't wait.

Well that's it from me for now. I'll try to keep up with this more often.  I haven't given up. So you don't either!!

It's Been A Few

IT's been a little while since I've been back to blog. Since I was last on I have gone down to 278lbs. I am so excited about this. That's a total of 12lbs since the new year. I can hardly believe it.

While Aaron is getting ready to leave for Iraq, I've been preparing myself for a shock the week he leaves. I know that when it happens I will be tempted to comfort myself with food. To avoid this I am trying to take the step to keep myself busy. I have several scrapbooking projects ready to take up my evening time. ("The munching Hour" I like to call it) I also have several friends I can call if need be.

I have been on an inspiration QUEST to find quotes and stories that are similar to mine to keep me going. For the most part I think I am on the right track. It's staying in here for the duration. That is the hard part. But I am determined to make it. I can see the road ahead and I am no longer afraid. This is where the rubber meets the road!!

Throughout all of this I hope to enlist as many fellow sojourners as possible. There really is strength in numbers and I hope that my journey will motivate those around me to jump on the wagon and travel. (I've been studying a lot of american history lately. Hense the wagon and journey reference) I know I make it. I know I can!!!

Lost Control

I think I lost control a little this week. DH and I had a little pizza fest the other day and I had two slices of Pizza for dinner and two bread sticks. That would have been fine if I hadn't eaten another slice later on that evening and some cheetos to wash it all down with.

So here is the thing. I am pretty sure I am up in weight this week and right now I am feeling pretty crummy about it. As I should. Right now I keep thinking "well you are already up so you might as well eat what you want tonight and start over tomorrow". The thing is I don't want to keep on this cycle. I don't want to give up. I want to eat right now, but I don't want what comes with it. I was half way to my first goal weight and I blew it. I could just scream because now I have to work that much harder to get off what I've gained this week.

I know that people say I'll go through this several times before I finally reach the end of this journey, but I really hope it doesn't happen too often. I'm suckin' it up and moving on, but honestly I hate this out of control feeling. I can't wait til this temptation passes because this one is a rough one.

Back In The Game

Ok so I am back in the game. I got up first thing this morning and worked out for about 30min. I ate a healthful breakfast and I've felt great all day. The sun is even shining and I have a notion to think that it may be doing so just for me. I'm not sure how weigh in is going to go this week but I feel good that I am back on track. Gain or lose I will accept the consequences of my actions this past weekend. So it's off to the races.

I feel so blessed. My friends have been offering to help me as much as they can to ensure that I continue on my weight loss journey when Aaron leaves for Iraq. I've had people offer to keep my girls for me while I go to meetings, some offer to take them to bible study for me. I know that the Lord is supplying all of my needs to help me get healthy. It feels good to know that the Lord is for me and not against me. He is truly blessing all of my efforts and that makes me really want to stick with it. It's exciting! It's an adventure!!!

I've now realized that with all of the people that are out here trying to help me, the only reason I would NOT succeed would be because I didn't want it bad enough. I have people that believe in me enough to go out of their way to help me. I can't give up. I won't give in. I won't let myself down, or my friends, or my family. I will do this. I can do this. I am doing this.

Outta Da Funk

I woke up this morning feeling much better. I do believe I am out of the funk for now. This rain has really kept me feeling bad but now that it has passed I am feeling better. I'm ready to workout so that is so exciting. Thank you so much to those of you who left me encouraging messages and thank you so much for your prayers. The Lord always hears and answers.

I read a wonderful book called "Redeeming Love". It probably should have taken me a week or more to read it and I read it in a matter of hours. I can not describe the effect this book had on me but I must say that I highly recommend this book. You won't be able to put it down. www.randomhouse.com/waterbrook/catalog/display.pperl 

I'm off to have breakfast and do a workout. Have a great OP day everyone!!

No Movement

Well I haven't really had any planned exercise this week. I did so well last week and then seemed to have fallen apart this week. My eating has been good and totally OP but I don't know if it will be enough for a loss this week. I pray so. Weight in is tomorrow so we shall see. I guess my goal for getting out this week has not been met.

My DD2 is sick today so it has not been a very productive day. DH has to leave to go up north until tomorrow. I suspect it will be a long day. I haven't really felt like eating today which in turn means I don't have all my veggies in as of right now. I've had about 24oz. of water so far. It's not looking like a great day. Perhaps it the lack of movement that is making me so BLAH!!!! I'll check back in later. Have a great OP day everyone!!!

Finally, REST

I still feel very encouraged today. I was able to rest this afternoon. Something that I haven't been able to do since I found out that my husband is going to Iraq in March. I really started to panic when he told that he was going for sure. Terrible thoughts were going through my mind as I started to prepare for him leaving. I lost my peace for a little while. Today I got it back. I think it was a little gift from the Lord to let me know that everything is going to be ok. I slept like I have never slept before and it was wonderful.

I really want to stay focused when Aaron leaves so that when he returns, he will not even recognize me. I really want to be close to my goal when he comes back. He'll be gone for about 7 months so that gives me time to really get some headway. I'm shooting for about 10-12lbs a month. I get excited just thinking about the positive changes that will be taking place in me. I know that when we take the steps to make ourselves healthy outside and in, the Lord is faithful to take our efforts and turn them into results. He has already taken 9lbs from me and I thank Him for His awesome mercy!

This week I really want to start getting some healthy physical activity outside of the house. I've been doing some exercise videos and although I like them, I just think that getting out will really make it feel more like fun and less like work. So my goal is to get out at least 3 days this week for walking and then do 2 days with a video. I'll see what kind of effect that has on my weight loss as well as my mood. I'll post more to let you know how it goes.

More to come tomorrow. God bless you all!!

Daddy, What Am I Supposed To Be?

Give me a moment just to sort things out

let me figure out just what you said

and give me a moment just to find my way

so I can say everythings ok

cause I have for so long tried to make things right

by staying just  inside all of these line

and you let me be

let me run

let me come face to face with all that I've become

you let me dance

let me fall

let me learn about the meaning of it all

cause love, great conquering and overwhelming love

is showing me, there's so much more to see

These are some of the lyrics to my new favorite song by Matthew and Lizi www.myspace.com/matthewandlizi   This song has really made me see that no matter what we are we can face ourselves and still have the hope to be something better. Something more than we are. We can be what we've always dreamed of being. There is nothing standing in our way but ourselves. We are our biggest stumbling block. Well I have purposed to get out of the way and allow God to do what He does best. Be God. Have a great day everyone!!!

Starting My New Life

I have to admit that this time it is different. It's been more than 9 years since I've felt even a little bit healthy. I've tried diet after diet looking for that magic pill or that quick fix to this disaster called FAT. I've been more and more defeated with every failed attempt. So what is it that makes this time so different?

I have surrounded myself with strong support from the wonderful people at Dotti's Weight Loss Zone. www.dwlz.com My family and friends have also been a great source of support and of course the wonderful people in my TOPS chapter. I have made healthy food readily available to me at all times. It has really made all the difference to ensure I am eating the right foods.

I have taken the right steps to make sure that there are no excuses. I have only the best accountability and I am using every tool available. I've made up my mind to take full responsibility for my unfavorable condition. And so my journey begins. This is my life now. And I love it!!