Let's try this again........

Hi everyone!!!  On Monday I started Atkins, I've had success with it before and I believe its right for me.  so far so good.  6 pounds down so far this week!  Let's catch up....I've started working part-time in a fabulous store called "swoozies" here in Boca Raton.  I love it!! Its so much fun.  The kids are great!  My oldest is getting ready for 8th grade graduation and the boys are all on the honor roll.  My husband's well, working hard.  So what about you guys.....I'd love to hear whats been going on with you since I've been away.  Write back and let me know.  I really believe I'm going to do it this time!!!  I'm very positive, so if anyone needs a cheerleader...write me and maybe I can help!!!  Love, Bianca

I'm Baaaccckkkk!!!

Hi all, Thank you for your support during my absence....I just started WW (again!)  hopefully for good this time!!  Loved JC, just a bit too restrictive for me...I just never mastered those "meals on my own"  My center was not a good one either.....No one even called to say where are you, are you coming back?  nothing, I need a little encouragement....I'm such a baby!!!  But anyway I love WW, I don't know why I ever stopped!!  Hope everyone is well..will post more regularly, promise!!  Have a great week!!

Love, Bianca  Oh, gained a bit from JC.  WW weigh-in 274lbs

Quitting my job...getting my life back

Sometimes Quitting is everything!!!!!  It just got to be too much....I heard someone say today...It seems we just can't get everything done!  But maybe, just maybe....we don't have to!!  I feel great today...I feel like I'm getting my life back.  Whatever struggles we have....and we all have them....my wish for myself and for all of you is that we come thru them a little bit smarter, a little bit stronger and of course, a little bit thinner.   Good luck today!!!

love, Bianca

Sabatoge!!

I want to lose weight, I really do!!!  I want to be thin and fit and I want to wear cute clothes again!!!     I want to fit in with my new friends...the moms at school, I don't want to worry that some little unknowing child will say "gee, your mom's fat" to one of my children...never happened, but I live in constant fear of that!!  So why do I do this to myself??  Our school carnivals coming up, I'd love to go on the rides, but I wouldn't even try for fear of not fitting in them!!  This is no way to live!!!  I've been doing so well on Jenny, 23 lbs in 6 weeks.  I went to a bridal shower Sunday, brought my own lunch and dessert, even dressing!!  I was so proud of myself...but yesterday being home all day...all I did was eat!!!  everything in sight....I hate myself for it and I know it was wrong and when I got on the scale at JC on Thurs I was 262lbs....Know what the scale said this morning?? 268!!!!!!!!  Can you imagine!!?? I hope no one reads this because I hate being a complainer....I just needed to vent.  I'm usually the one with the positive attitude.....Whats happening to me???  I sat there infront of the TV yesterday thinking this must be what postpartum depression feels like....although my baby is 8!!!  I just didn't care.  Theres so much I want to change about myself....I want more energy, I want to be a good example, I want to get to the gym, I want to be more organized, I want to be more prayerful, I want to be a better mom, wife, employee......I'm just so friggin LAZY.  None of the things I want are just going to happen.  I have to make them happen.....Its just laziness...its me sabatoging myself.....why????  I don't want to go on medication, I know it helps many people, but thats not what I want I want to fight thru this....is that naive??  old fashioned?? stupid??/ I don't know.  all I know is that I have to start to become pro-active in my own life.  To the outside world I'm super-mom, totally organized, calm and happy.  HELLO!!!!!  TOTALLY HAPPY PEOPLE DON'T BALLOON UP TO 280LBS!!!!!!!!!!!  So change must start with me, I think it helps just to write these thoughts down....so I hope not to bore anyone out there or bring anyone down...but this blog is becoming sort of my therapy. I feel a bit better, I will go to the gym and get on the treadmill, I will stick to my food plan, I will go to work with a positive attitude and when I come home I will do something positive and avoid the couch...this is my resolve for today.....I think I can, I think I can..............

I feel as Blah as the weather...

I don't know about you guys but the sun really makes me feel better.  Thats why  I live in South Florida....well if any of you saw the super bowl, you know what our weather has been like this week....YUCK!!!  thats kinda the way I feel.  I didn't lose any weight this week and I haven't exercised, have a bit of a cold/cough and just yucky feeling......well now that I got THAT outta my system....I know I need to exercise....I simply cannot seem to motivate myself....any ideas???  I have to do it in the morning, no time during the day and when I come home at night, well lets just say I'm not a ball of fire.  I'm up early anyway, so thats not the issue.  the gym opens at 5:30, so why am I here???  I get weighed in 2 more days...okay, I'm getting ready I'm going now....bye

Another weigh-in, another 2lbs

I love Jenny Craig!!  3 weeks and thats almost 18lbs. officially (21 on my scale-but lets not nit-pic) It's the first time in so long that I've actually stuck to something!!  and it feels great!!  I've tried every other diet out there, I never went to JC because I thought it would be too expensive, plus having to cook for the kids anyway, I figured it wouldn't figure into my lifestyle....I WAS SO WRONG!!  My darling daughter became a vegetarian a few months back and 1 of my boys is diabetic....so thats 2 different meals right off the bat, my husband sells cars and works until 9pm every weeknite...so what I saw as problem became so easy to fix...I go shopping on Sunday and buy the stuff for all the week's meals for my DH and the boys...every morning my husband sets up the crockpot w/some fabulous dish that they all love...very meat and potatoes kinda stuff and I buy JC for myself and my DD.....the boys have a hot meal waiting for them when we get home and my daughter and I prepare our meal together and she gets to eat meatless!!  my husband takes dinner to work and on the weekends everyone knows I'll be eating Jenny cuisine....the cost is no more than my regular groceries either...so there, problem solved and I'm loving it!!  Good luck to all.....Bianca

this is me...now

Its amazing how we see our lives in measures of weight....I can tell you how much I weighed at every stage of my life.  I am a wife, a mother of 4 wonderful, well-behaved (Most of the time) respectful children, I'm a business owner, active in the home/school association (a board member in fact), I run fundraisers, work full time, spend time with my mom, keep a lovely home and I still feel like a LOSER!!  My weight holds me back.  I've always struggled with it....but I NEVER in a million years thought that I would weigh more than 150 lbs....that was my benchmark.  I'd get there and then lose 20 pounds....in many crazy ways....I'll grant you that....one of my favorites was the water and cigarette diet.....I must have done that one 17 times in high school...By the time I was seventeen I probably tried every fad diet out there.  By 20 I was seeing diet doctors and taking pills to lose those extra 20-30 pounds.  Then at 28 I stopped smoking and although I wasn't what anyone would consider a heavy smoker I immediately gained 40 lbs.....at which time I became pregnant with my first....I proceeded to gain 30 lbs in my pregnancy.  I delivered a beautiful 7lb baby girl and came home from the hospital the same weight I went in...how'd that happen???  I was so excited to be a mommy...I had friends and family over every day...bagels in the morning...Pizza, cold cuts, chinese food for lunch...well--company's coming!!!  I'd bake and make glorious dinners nighlty for my oh, so fit husband....and within a year I gained another 30 lbs!!!!  if you're keeping count thats 100 lbs since my wedding!!!!  In the 4 years that followed I gave birth to 3 wonderful sons....I stayed on weight watchers though and gained nothing in those pregnancies!!  Thank God!! But here I am Now, my "Baby" is 8 years old and I'm 286 lbs.....UUuuugghhh.  But today is a new day.  I just joined Jenny Craig and I feel better than I have in years.  Today is the begining of the rest of my life!  If any of you are struggling with your weight as I have Or just trying to lose a few I wish you all well and godspeed to your personal goal.  Just getting started was a big deal for me....so I salute you all...till next time.  Love, Bianca