Help!

First thing I did this morning was of course, go potty and then get completely naked (like that helps, right?) to get on the scale. No excuses of any kind, I needed to find out exactly how much damage was done yesterday cheating yesterday at Schlitterbahn.   Oh, my goodness, a gain of 5 lbs.!!!  What was going on?  Is this freakin scale broken or what?    This is just crazy!  Okay, I just wanted to blame something and not blame myself but it was me!!! It was bad enough that I hadn't lost anything because of not taking Phentermine and now I have gained and not a couple of pounds but 5 lbs.  Am I going backwards again. About 2 yrs ago, I had lost 35 lbs (from 200-165) and then as soon as I stopped trying so hard, I eventually gained it all back.  And now on March of this year, I started again weighing at 201 lbs and it seems like if I cheat for one whole day, I would gain it all back eventually again. I am failing and losing at this battle with my weight!!!

Cheating Day

I thought I could cheat for a day and not not end up regretting this since I had not been taking Phentermine for about a week already.  I had stayed at a steady weight (no weight loss or gain).  On Saturday, my company had our Annual Picnic in New Braunfels, TX in Schlitterbahn (water park).  I was very excited about going.   I woke up early on Saturday and had a couple of tacos for breakfast.  Yes, I did type that right, I didn't just have one taco, I had a couple.   Okay, well then at the picnic, my company had a buffet. A buffet!!!  Well, this didn't help.  The excitement in the air just made me go along with the flow, eating and socializing with everyone without a worry in mind about the calories, the fat and all the sugars these foods had.  But oh well, then throughout the day at the park, I snacked here and there with foods I had been avoiding for the past 3 months because I thought, okay, this is not going to kill me, right? And then I mainly stayed in the kiddie section just floating in the water (like a whale -which is how I felt!). Thats because I really don't like water rides (bad experience).  This was all in all a bad day and I would find out about how bad this really was on the scale!!!!

What's happening?

I went for a weigh in at WeightWise on June 19th and I weighed 164 lbs (its only a loss of 2 lbs in 2 weeks).  This was not really good news for me because I had been losing about 2-3 lbs a week.  I guess I kinda know what is going on but I don't want to really admit it.  I've been enjoying life and not really focusing too much on losing weight and watching what I am eating and drinking.  Let me explain, my boyfriend works on an oil rig, so he works for 7 days out of town and comes home for 7 days (7 days on and 7 days off).  Anyways, when he comes into town, he wants me to enjoy having dinner with him and most of the time he likes for me to enjoy a drink (or two) with him while having dinner.  I love spending this quality time with him and he tells me and comforts me telling me, I would be okay if I cheat once in a while.  Well, I've been cheating more than what I should be and that is not good.  Its not like my boyfriend just started working on a rig, its been about a year and a half but lately, I have just been wanting to spend every waking moment with him.  I've been missing him more than usual (I don't know why!!!).  Oh and by the way, we've been dating for about 6 years already, too, its not like we just started dating, either. Anyways, well, if he is relaxing in the evening, I'd rather lay there with him watching a movie/tv instead of getting my fat butt up on the treadmill or exercising or something.  Well, all of this is having an impact on my weightloss.  

Another setback for me, is the lack of Phentermine.  I went on Thursday to Sam's Club to put in my prescription for Phentermine and the pharmacist advised me that there was a shortage of Phentermine, not only at their store but all over the U.S.  I was surprised!  This I had not heard of before.  I have been on Phentermine since March of this year and I never thought this would be possible.  Pharmacist did advise that there was a lower dosage of Phentermine.  I had the prescription for 37.5 ml but that they only had, I think a 30 ml.  I preferred to wait.  Well, I then tried at Wal-Mart and Walgreens and they did have it but it cost like $34, when I was used to paying about $14 at Sam's. Well, again, I decided to wait.  I didn't want my boyfriend to pay that much.  I guess, I'm just being cheap or maybe it was just that I didn't feel worth it for him to pay that much for it.  I don't know but all of this is just kind of discouraging me.  I went to a baby shower on Sunday and I just ate everything that was offered (which wasn't good at all!!!)   I feel, I am losing (not the weight, but this battle.   

Coming Along

On Thursday June 5th, I went to my WeightWise follow-up appointment and my doctor was totally impressed with my weightloss.  I lost a total of 35 lbs in 12 wks (3 months), I was now weighing 166 lbs.  She said I was totally way ahead of schedule with this weight loss.  She was expecting me to be weighing about 181 lbs by now (starting at 201 lbs) in 3 months but she said I was doing awesome.  My boyfriend just happened to go with me to my appointment and he was so proud of me after hearing what the doctor had to say.   I still have about 25 more lbs to lose (according to my doctor). She set my goal weight to be at 141 lbs.  Shoot, I haven't weighed that since I was 25 yrs old and now I am 37 and feel its going to be harder to reach that goal. I'm gonna keep on trying and coming along and we'll see how that goes!!!

Feeling Great

Today I woke up, got ready for church and as I was trying to figure out what clothes to wear, I realized that my clothes were not fitting me the same way anymore.  I had gotten on the scale but there wasn't too much of a difference there from a couple of days ago. I guess your body goes thru different stages while losing weight.  You might lose inches sometimes and you might lose lbs another time.  Oh well, all in all it is all good and I felt great, too.  I took my Phentermine on the way out of the house, feeling like this supposedly "magic pill" (as I like to call it) is really working and doing its job. I sometimes wonder though, is it really the pill or is it really all in my mind. Whatever it is, again, it is all good!

May 2, 2008

Okay, on May 2nd, I had my 2nd follow up appointment and I didn't think the weightloss was as much as the 1st follow up appointment. I was wondering if I was doing anything wrong.  But after my doctor weighed me, she said that I was doing awesome. 

• 5/02/08  Weight: 177 lbs BMI: 37.6 Fat %: 45.2 Fat Mass: 80.01 lbs

I guess if we look at the difference from where I started, it does look like an achievement = a total loss of 24 lbs in about 7 wks!!!!  I don't think I could have done this without the support of my boyfriend, though!  He's the one to go and buy me the prescribed Phentermine, the nutritional shakes I need and he will cook up a healthy dinner for me by the time I get home from work.  When I let him know of results of my weightloss, he likes to reward me by taking me out shopping for clothes.  He believes that if I feel great, why not look great, too. He's constantly complimenting me.  I know he really cares about me getting healthier.  He loved me at 210 lbs, I don't think he'll love me less looking a lot better than before.  We can do this!  I can do this! 

April 4, 2008

I had my 1st follow up visit w/ my doctor at WeightWise since I started this Agressive Diet plan on 4/4/08.  My doctor was extremely proud of me.  I was surprised w/ the results myself. 

• 3/14/08    weight: 201 lbs BMI: 42.7 Fat %:49.2 Fat Mass: 99.01 lbs.
• 4/04/08    weight: 186 lbs BMI: 39.7 Fat %:47.6 Fat Mass: 89.01 lbs.

Thats a total of 15 lbs in about 3 wks.  Well, Phentermine is like nothing I've ever taken in my life.  I never thought my appetite could ever be suppressed the way Phentermine does. My cravings for unhealthy food are totally suppressed as well.  I feel great and I have energy like never before. I didn't think this was going to be easy but this diet is working and the more I see results, the more I want to stick with it. 

March 14, 2008

I had my 1st doctor's appointment at WeightWise on March 14th, 2008 and I decided I desperately needed help. Like I said before, I have lost weight on my own before but it always comes creeping back into my life and the older I get, the harder it gets to lose weight, too.  So with the professional help I get from WeightWise and the support of my boyfriend, I expect to succeed and win this battle against obesity, finally.  At the doctor's office, I am told I am a candidate for having surgery, like the lap band or gastric bypass but I asked if there was another way to go about this because I've heard a lot of negativity of the side effects these surgery's might have on your body.  So I am given the other option of going on an Agressive Diet Plan.  This consisted of taking Phentermine, drinking protein shakes, protein bars and only having one meal a day, which needs to consist of  a lean meat and 3 side of vegetables.  I thought to myself, I don't know about this, it didn't sound "normal".  And then my doctor only recommended 3 day 30 minute workouts a week.  What?  It sounded easy as far as the working out part but I wasn't too sure about the dieting part!!!!  

Decision of a lifetime

What was supposed to be a routine appointment for my annual exam, turned out to be the time I would have to be making the decision of a lifetime.  My doctor looked at me as if I were going to die in a certain amount of months if I would not take care of my weight problem.   The look she gave me scared me very much, it was as if she were telling me that I had a deadly disease.  Which I guess, it could be but the thing was that I was not having any complications with my health and I thought I was okay the way I was.  Don't get me wrong, I have tried to lose weight for my own  personal benefit and I would succeed but then again fail and then I just gave up and felt I just had to be satisfied with the way I was.  Well, that visit to the doctor was an eye opener.  I didn't realize how serious and important it really was for me to lose weight.  I was obese, not overweight, morbidly obese.  Yeah, that wasn't nice to here, especially since my boyfriend was there in the exam room with me while the doctor is informing me of this!!    She tells me that weighing 201 lbs at 4'9" is way too much and very unhealthy for me to be carrying around!!!!  I was referred to WeightWise to help me take care of this problem. I decided for myself to make the decision of a lifetime.  I want to make a change in my life, not for a few months but for the rest of my life.