Professional Status

New day, new month, new program, renewed interest…

Ok…so I have been slacking…not really sure why, just got tired of the whole counting, measuring, weighing and tracking stuff…

and now?  now I’m tired of the whole munching, grazing, bingeing and dreading process…it appears that I bore easily doesn’t it?

But guess what?  I prefer the whole counting, measuring, weighing and tracking stuff anyday over the way I am feeling now.  My clothes don’t fit, I feel sluggish and dumpy and I am ready to feel healthy again…so here goes:

Attempt #9582…DAY ONE

dang it.

Damn…had a long post and just lost the whole damn thing!

size really does matter

so I am going to an evening garden wedding reception in Laguna Beach this weekend and started hunting around in my closet  for something suitable to wear....for those of you not from socal, this is a rather ritzy part of the OC...kinda an artsy, beachy, trending type town with lots of old money (and an art gallery on every corner located directly nextdoor to a plastic surgeon chop shop/day spa )...

anyway the home where this event will be held is amazing...it's a distant relative of my husbands, so not even a slight chance we will ever score any of the riches involved should some untimely death occur (therefore,  long live the distant relatives !!)...anyway...after a close inspection of my closet, I realized that there was absolutely nothing in there that would be deemed suitable for such an event...either the clothes I owned no longer fit--too small, or they were out of style for the season--dang why couldn't this be held in summer where anything goes? 

so off to the mall I went, armed with credit cards, checkbook a small amount of cash (for a non-fat latte should my shopping experience take longer than I hope)....

There were plenty of cute clothes everywhere...I love fall colors! and I even found a suitable outfit (that can probably get me through a couple of  events through our brief fall/winter season here in so cal, and there were plenty of clothes that fit...but here's the thing...I tried on my standard size 12  pants...hmmmm  tight!  dang manufacturer!  why isn't this one into vanity sizing like the rest? or maybe he is and it's just gotten that bad???   I ended up settling for a size 14...DANG!!!  when did this happen?  oh sure, in the past I have been much larger even tipping the scales at  200...but dang it...I long for the size 8's that I was in just a mere 2 years ago...(the only 8's I fit into this days can all be found in the shoe department) ...hell I'd even be happy to squeeze back into a 10 ...but a 14?  nope....that's just wrong...

figured I'd better just forget about the size for now, hunt down the perfect trendy blazer (a cute fitted, faux velvet frock) and a pretty, lacyish shell to peak through from underneath the blazer...I shuddered at the sizes I purchased..but decided that it truly wouldn't be possible to drop a few inches in the next 48 hours so I better just get over it!

so unfortunetly I have to say

• ..size does matter! 

don't let anyone tell you otherwise! ~sigh~

food porn

so the whole Octoberfeast post probably had more to do with the fact that my women's poker group was scheduled to play  at my house (again)  last night and I would be responsible for the food/drink choices that were to be consummed during the event and of course the stress and hassles that go along with the decision making of such items...... actually I had just played hostess the month before for the group but  one of the the regulars called and guilt tripped me into hosting it  again, cuz apparently I "cleaned her clock"  the month before...and she wanted me to feel bad...-->that and the fact that she had made a prior committment to hosting another party a mere 12 hours after our small poker group trashed her place the night before...anyway, like a sap I agreed...

Now when I said "yes" I had no idea that my poor dog would still be suffering from the ramifications of bladder surgery and that a good portion of my week would be spent steam cleaning my carpets over and over again,  building up my febreeze trigger finger muscle, plus load after load of laundering towels, rugs, mats etc...but as things work out...this is exactly how my week was spent

So yesterday morning over coffee I realized that in just 8 hours...5 women would be showing up at my door expecting a relatively clean house (or at least one that didn't smell like dog pee), a decent type meal (they all know I don't cook, but usually handle take-out quite handily), an assortment of beverages (to help take the sting out of their bluffing abilities), munchies on the tables and a tastey desert.   and as of breakfast I had NO PLANS to be able to pull this off...

so getting to the point...with so little time I took the easy way out and opted for "food porn".  You know the meals  that help you get through life when things are tough...pizza, wine, beer, a salad complete with fat ladden dressing, a lemon merangue pie, and  of course bags of halloween sized fun packs of candy to munch on between hands...basically all bad choices...and today I wished I had spent a little more energy planning things out that were healthier (cuz I feel crapy from eating so badly)...anyway...left overs are in the trash...tomorrow starts a whole new day and an opportunity to do a better job at eating healthy and I am intent on doing just that!

think I better go for a walk and start planning what i will serve the gals at bunco this month....~~~~sigh~~~~

October-feast

While many of German ancestry are counting the hours left to celebrate this time of year, I am afraid that October fest does little to ellicit any kind of response from me what so ever these days...oh sure in my younger days the thought of weiner schnitzels, sour kraut and consumming mass amounts of German beer unitl you absolutely knew,  hands down,  you could "out  chicken dance" any of the other participants in that evenings contest...and once and for all earn that new stein for your massive collection made me live for Friday nights.  ~~~but this matters no more to me...

nowdays it has been replaced with my own version of October -fest...October feast...you know...when the stores start laying out all their halloween candy displays with all those tiny snack size packs that you are absolutely sure this year you will be able to control your impulses and only have one pack of your favorite fun size candy per day...one pack...won't hurt you...it's only about 50 calories...

best laid plans...

It starts out easy enough...unpack the groceries, stash the bag in the back of the pantry where only you know where it is..but then 3pm rolls around and the blood sugar things starts kicking in...and so,  the inevitable deal making begins..well...maybe just one ...that'll take care of my sweet tooth...and this just may work until it's time to start dinner...and then you add one more (they are only 50 cals afterall) and besides that  tomorrow I am going to get up early and walk...or I had a really bad day so that 3rd pack is probably justified...pretty soon most of the pack is gone and I may as well finish it...cuz I'm gonna have to buy more anyway...the kids are gonna expect something when they ring that doorbell on Halloween ..but...and this should be a clue for me---->

• it's not even October yet!!!!!

what the hell am I doing with Halloween candy in my house in septermber?  I managed to analyse my whole situation earlier today over a bag of halloween colored m&m's and a diet coke and came up with an answer...stress...yep that's it.!!!..I  have just too much stress in my life right now and fun sized halloween candy packs seemed like the best answer at the time....I can skip the wine, crunchy, salty and floury type food...but something with sugar...not gonna happen...

the good news is, there is relief and a cure for this...I merely need to eliminate all the stress in my life and I can begin to eat healthy again...

(~~~wondering why can't we give out little carrot packs and boxes of raisens to the kids in the neighborhood without risk of getting our houses egged and TP'd? )  ~~~~hmmmph~~~~~

deal or no deal

so my life, of late, has seemed to resemble this game show...as mentioned earlier, we are having health issues with my pup..well not exactly a pup since she's 16 and all...but still none the less, I have had her since she was a pup and she definitely thinks I am her mom...

Sunday evening after a horrible 2 weeks of watching her in pain from bladder stones, we decided we could postpone the inevitable surgery no longer and rushed her to the animal emergency center 40 minutes away...our goal was to get some pain meds or sedatives to get her thru until the next morning where we could have the surgery done at our vets office.

We bring her in...the vet says 'what seems to be the problem?" us:  our dog has bladder stones and is extremely uncomforable and we would like to a) price the cost of the surgery here, and b) if we opt to take her to our own vet, just get some pain meds to get her thru till morning...vet: I'll have the estimates done and send someone in to present them to you. Us: thanks...10 minutes go by and the vet's version of Howie Mandel opens the door with the anticipated estimates. V V of HM: here are the two options...high cost $3100...low$$2900...US: wow...we love our dog and all but if we wait another 12 hours we can get it done for $1100 cheaper..so we would just like the pain pills for now and be on our way, please. VVof HM:  I don't blame you, I will pass it on to the vet. us: thanks.  10 minutes pass and in walks V V of H M.  VVHM: Dr. Lou  would like me to present another option for you..he has taken off a couple things that may not be necessary and the price has come down a bit.  Us:  okay...let's take a look..V V of HM show us the new totals...$$2900-$2700.  Us: I think we will still wait for our vet .  VVof HM: okay, Ill tell him and by the way, I don't blame you...10 minutes go by and in walks howie with a 3rd proposal~~(you can't make this stuff up ya know?)~~.V V of HM:  first off I have yet another offer for you, but regardless of what you do..there is no problem we will give you the pain pills if we don't do the surgery.  Us:  okay...VVof HM: we would like to run a free ultrasound and an get an xray of the stones just to make sure there isnt a complete blockage, before we send you home...and the new price of the surgery is $2500 ish.  exit VV of HM.....Enter Dr Lou, Dr: here is your xray, it is yours to keep no charge, but there is a small bit of stone that has broken off and is blocking your dog's ablility to pass urine...if this becomes completely blocked overnight it could prove fatal.  Us: thank you so much, we will keep a very close eye on her for the next 11 hours.  Vet leaves, we talk between ourselves and decide what the hell...let's just do it, she is here now...we ask to see the vet again and tell him our decision, one more set of estimates are run...price drops again now down to $2100...sold!!!  so I how have a very sore pup at  home and I would love to say the problem is solved but there have been a couple incidents already today...so the rest of my day will be pretty much to remain armed with my carpet shampooer fully loaded and my bottle of febreeze cocked and ready to go.

~~~sigh~~~~

shipwrecked...

crashed and burned at south beach after 15 days doing just fine....had one day that I just had to eat carbs...don't know what came over me...but from the minute I had my first alloted carb  on the program (a bowl of fiber one cereal for breakfast) it was all rough sailing...I have to admit I caved....looked accountability in the face and spit on it...take that south beach!...to hell with you!

while this sounds devastating and all...I think I learned an important lesson about myself...(no carbs for breakfast it brings on the beast)...I think if I stick with the all protein breakfast I have been having lately of an egg and ham I can control that wicked sweet tooth carb craving monster inside of me. I think I can try sliding those carbs in later in the day...at least that as worked beautifully for the last two days...hopefully it's smooth sailing again for a bit. so not exactly south beach...maybe more like key west these days...

A case for House

so after 15 months of trying desperately to drop a lb or two and in actuality,  gaining 22 lbs during that phase, I finally came to the realization that I may need a medical intervention here...it seems I have tried everything counting points, wwcore, eating more proteins, eating low fat, eating more fruit, less fruit, cutting out white sugars, cuttling alcohol, nutrisystem, southbeach, cutting carbs, counting calories, more exercise, less exercise...well...you get the picture...

anyway..today I am at the exact spot I was 3 months ago...to the lb!!!!  at least I haven't gained any more!!!  After numerous promises to myself to give it "one more try" and if that doesn't work "to break down and see the doc"...I did it....

he gave me a bunch of "dr. speak" stating that it may just be genetic and no matter what I do, I may be predisposed to be this weight...~sigh~ so why the hell am I dieting?...he said not to beat myself up over it...    gee I feel so much better now...~group hug~   anyway...he is having some blood tests run to check out my thyroid and if that appears to be normal he said we could try some kind of prescription diet aid to see if that does anything...

so at least there is a plan "a" and a plan 'b' in place ...if that doesn't work out...It just may become a case for House. watch for me on an upcoming episode.

adrift at the beach...

I had such high hopes for south beach...down 5 lbs in two days...add another .5 to that a couple days later...but now...10 days in and I am up 2.5lbs...yes I have been following it to the letter and no, there have been no exceptions...

all I can think of...is that with the mutt so sick I have not  felt much like exercising this week (only 2x) and have over indulged in the food area to the tune of around 1800 calories on 2 days...very high for me...(at least all SB food though)  but all and all...this should not equate in a gain of 2.5lbs in 3 days....plan to hang out here at the beach for awhile though...seeing my dr. on monday for a thyroid test and hoping he may have wisdom to share with me...

cowabunga !      ~sigh~

Dog Tired!

I'm exhausted!  my poor dog has kept me up worrying about her health for the last 3 nights...after delaying a trip over the weekend to the emergency animal hospital (cuz the vet we spoke to at 11pm on Sat night, said they would probably just give her some of the same antibiotics that we had on hand), I finally got her into the vet today...I have one sick pup!....Kidney stones...which explains the whole "revolving doggie door" action going on in the house...POOR THING...the worst part is she is 16...so not exactly a young pup...hopefully these will dissolve/pass on their own..I hate to consider the next step...good news is ...she seems much better today...

South beach Update...anybody seen my lost 5.5lbs?  me either...hope another few follow this week.