Very Cool things about Blogging

So it’s kind of hard to just pick up the pieces of my life and start blogging again without any explanation what-so-ever of where I’ve been and why I’ve been gone but that is exactly what I am planning on doing right now.   Suffice it to say, it’s not that my life has been so kick-in-the-gut-god-awful-bad or that I have totally lost interest in you and your very special life, it’s just that I didn’t really feel like re-hashing all the crappy hands I’ve been dealt lately and instead opted to sit out a few rounds.

Interestingly enough, I did learn something important about myself while I was away which felt horrible while I was in the midst of it, but I find very illuminating looking back on it now.  So you probably are dying to know what it is now, huh?  Okay..okay…here goes…

I missed blogging.

Who knew?

What started out as a very private place to come vent my dieting frustrations developed into a little corner of the cyber world to share my triumphs and read about yours and in so doing keep me motivated to move ahead…er, ah,  downward….

Which now brings me to my blog for today…

1. I love being able to say what’s on my mind (and for some insane reason that I have yet to fully grasp, I have a bit of a following so to speak…unless 16,200 of you accidentally happened by my site by mistake…in which case I take that last statement back and blame the pink in my cheeks as a mild case of sunburn)
2. I am free to come and go as I please without impacting anyone ….(except my scale)
3. There are no expectations placed on me here (for better or worse)
4. This is a totally anonymous board (except for the fact that I threw a real picture of me up there and the fact that you all know me here ).
5. I can ramble on and on spouting, off my own misguided weight loss notions and should you happen to disagree with my insightful theories I can

• pretend that you don’t exist and that this place is all about me.
• Igonore you and take my keyboard and go home
• Delete any snarky responses that are posted on my blog…..

or ultimately….

• Block you from posting to me at all…how cool is that?  Okay so I have never had to do any of the last two items…but it’s cool to me knowing that I can…so um…try me…

anyway I’m back to say I missed you losers and this place…

thanks for checking on me…

Seriously!

Scared straight

Taking in the severity of the situation she rises slowly and painfully from her chair…The unspoken veil of humiliation weighing heavily on her as she musters up the courage to face the all knowing, non judgmental eyes of the virtual strangers here in cyberspace.

“Hi…My name is Brat, and I have suffered a setback”…” she begins… “a slip, a backslide, a tumble off the wagon if you will…and I am so disappointed in myself  right now.…I worked so hard to “get clean” and I swore I would never again allow myself back to that dark place again…but here I am.”

“It seems lately I have been in a whirlpool of trouble… I have once again found myself in the company of the “bad element” that I swore I was over.  I have been frequenting places that I promised I would never return to and hanging out with a less than desirable crowd …the same ones that got me into trouble before…. I was weak.  And I caved….

But I’m back!

I knew something had to be done the other day when my old archenemy knocked on my door…  WTF?????  but luckily it was enough to scare me straight!  What a sobering sight that was?

I literally slammed the door in his face so hard that I think he got the hint…at least for now…anyway…I am back…(well sort of)…not sure how much time I have for blogging for the next couple of weeks…but very soon here, I will be cast free of the chains that have tied me to the so cal freeways and the adultsitting/realtor/interior decorator/doctors assistant/packing extraordinaire/ utilities coordinator/ personal banker gig that I have been playing for the last 2 months…. Damn good thing there is a sizeable inheritance that awaits “we heirs” as I continue to worm my way into roll of “favorite offspring”..

(okay, seriously I’m joking…. the inheritance isn’t THAT sizeable).

But can I just say that I ADORE my doctor right now and would probably marry him today if mr.brat didn’t object and if he were a foot taller!…I went to him yesterday due to an annoying earache that has been pestering me ever since Roadrash dragged me to some boring water aerobics classes last summer and all I got out of it was chronic swimmer’s ear…ah…but I digress…After the whole fiddling with the ear thingamajiggy and determining that I spent too much time in the waves as a youth…he wrote a couple of prescriptions, snuck me some free samples and sent me on my way…but not before saying “you have really done great with your weight loss!!!!”  Totally unsolicited I swear!!!  How cool is that?  LOVE HIM RIGHT NOW….Seriously…

how important is it?

So I was wondering …..is all this dieting really worth it?

Lost and Found

Daily Classifieds

 Currently overweight  (but mildly amusing) MWF looking for some seriously missing weight loss mojo.  Last seen on or around April 1st, 2007 between the 2nd and 3rd apple martini at Madison’s.

I am so sorry I took you for granted.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you with longing.  I have become driftless and unmotivated and my life hasn’t been the same without you in it.  Please come home.

(If found could you please send it back?  SOON? A generous reward awaits you.)

 Seriously,

 Brat 

Neighborly Love

It started as a rumor…there were hushed whispers around town that you might soon be moving into my neighborhood.  I’d heard those rumors in the past and chose not to become too invested in it.  It was just too premature.  Why set myself up for disappointment, right?

Besides, it had been years since I knew you.  Who knew if I would even feel the same about you if you did move in?

Try as I might, I couldn’t get you off my mind.  Every chance I could, I would drive by your “presumed” new address and glance around for clues. But alas, there was never any indication of who my new neighbor might be.  Oh sure, I saw construction workers in there hour after hour, but it was just too soon to tell who was signing their checks. 

Then little by little I started noticing clues. Walls painted in your favorite colors, new windows installed….Could it be true?  Would our paths cross once again?  It looked very much like your decorators were hard at work fixing things up to your standards and tastes.  It was all starting to seem so familiar. 

And then one day, there could be no doubt…it was true!  I casually cruised down your street and there you were! with all my friends and neighbors around.  I could tell they were enjoying your company, getting to know you.  Your door was wide open and it appeared almost like a block party! And by their faces I knew,  they were going to love you too.  (and my stomach began churning a bit)…

I headed straight for home…you see, I had never told my husband about you.  I thought perhaps it was a one time thing, never to be repeated…it happened so long ago, I was hanging out with friends.. it was summer, I was thin and tan and bored!  You were there, fresh, new exciting! very hip, very cool.

So with my husband of many years I sat there and bared my soul…I told him everything.  I was honest, open, held nothing out.  Surprisingly, MrBrat took it quite differently than I would have expected him to.  He very calmly rose and said… “I suppose we should get this over with then” and headed out to meet our new neighbor.  

 Together we walked hand in hand thru your door and I boldly walked straight up to you and was greeted by your icy stare.  Unflinchingly,  I told you exactly what I wanted and expected.  That was it.  The ice was melted…you smiled at me and gave me exactly what I needed... and together we sat there and got reacquainted.  I thoroughly ravished you again..but this time while my husband sat next to me and watched. 

So welcome to the neighborhood, old friend  I  know you will be very welcome here.  

 brat ..... 

The art of saying NO

In retrospect it is not surprising that I have been overweight my entire life.   

I like to eat. I am good at it.   

I have always enjoyed doing things I am good at,  so anyone can imagine that eating would obviously take precedence over let’s say vacuuming, washing my car or paying my bills.   

I enjoy eating out, ordering in and pretty much anything that gives my mouth a workout.  So because of this, I have a hard time saying “no” to food--end result …weight issues.  

Which leads me right into my topic…  “The art of saying NO.”   

You see…I can’t!  I suck at it!  And I think everyone knows this about me because they keep asking me/expecting me/banking on me to say “yes”.  To Everything!  And I always do!   

And the pages of my calendar become fuller and fuller with entries, appointments, commitments and expectations. It all seems to fit, …at least on paper…  

but then..every so often LIFE happens and I have to shut down, change my plans and focus on more important issues (to me at least).  And the “I can’t meet you tomorrow’s” or the “can we make it another weekend” or even the “coffee just won’t work for me today’s” are met with angry responses, hurt feelings and snarky “whatever’s”.   

So here it is…for the next few weeks…I have cleared my calendar of all prior commitments (baring one or two that I truly want to comply with) and in it’s stead there is only the word written in black magic marker on each day …“NO”!   

So now, when you call or ask me for lunch, appointments, errands, etc.  and I in turn respond with “hmm.   let me check my calendar”…I can honestly answer that oh… “NO, says right here, I can’t” with a clear conscience.   

This way…your feelings won’t be hurt, I can have the time and space I need right now 

And with any luck at all, this excruciating pain my stomach that seems to be remedied only by massive doses of Pepcid AC will go away shortly.  

Sorry, I haven’t responded to any of your blogs lately…I wanted to but upon checking my calendar confirmed what I already knew…NOPE, I can’t.  

Think I can practice this NO thing with food?

Title didn’t fit here

Actual Title:

Things that suffer when one is under a lot of stress because she is trying to help her 80 something year old parents (one of which who is completely bedridden and the other is basically 90% physically disabled but at least functioning mentally) try to understand that living 1.5 hours away from the only offspring they produced in their lifetime that happens to have the free time available to help them with many of their basic needs, but if nothing else, to at least check in on them regularly ensuring that they are still in fact 

1. Alive, and
2. Want for nothing in regards to groceries, medications. Doctor appointments, etc.

is not in their best interest,  so she has spent the last 3 weeks of her life completely engulfed in open houses, realtors, financial statements, drive bys, internet MLS shopping and finally upon narrowing the search driving the aforementioned ‘rents back and forth to view the short list of acceptable selections, hoping they do in fact like it (they did) and then filling out countless financial and legal documents (none of which were easy to locate because lets face it, 84 year olds don’t have the best filing system generally) and then placing an offer on the home, countering an offer and finally receiving an acceptance offer so they are now to be home owners just 5 minutes from my house (be careful what I wish for,  right?) all the while still trying to maintain some semblance of my former life by getting in most of my exercise, a quick getaway trip with a couple of friends, redecorating a spare room, dealing with an overnight crashed computer and purchasing a new one (cuz how can one house hunt on line with out one?) going to 2 birthday parties for my 4 year old granddaughter) and countless other necessary daily chores…but as I was saying…things that suffer-à

• EP Blogging

When bad things happen to good people …a.k.a.

When good graphs turn bad….

because they asked

Most of you know, I don’t really share that much of my personal life here on the boards, because to me …well …it’s personal.  However, at the request of QH and KBB (on behalf of Rose) they asked that I do so now and because of who they are,  I will. 

 That said I am tapping QH, KBB, and Rose  on their shoulder so they can share their own story and tag 3 others.

  April 27th, 2003

It seems like only yesterday yet it has been nearly 4 years now.  I have grown so much and am so much happier these days without you in my life.  The journey was long and painful but today I can look back with no regrets.

Our relationship wasn’t always rocky.  In the beginning things seemed fine.  We both respected each other and lived harmoniously together. I was happy then.  I never imagined myself years later in the hospital recovering from the aftermath of your final visit.

 I’m not sure where things went so wrong between us or why they got so off track, but I vividly remember sharing with my Doctor the frightening details I had been experiencing with you.  It was 1991 and I could no longer contain my fear. Tears in my eyes, I opened up and shared. Everything! And I felt better.  He assured me that many others were living in the same dysfunctional relationship that I was in, but there was help available.  I could get out!  He could help me!  And for once, I knew…there was hope!  He told me I would know when the time was right and he would be there for me…I left his office happier than I had felt in a long time.  I had hope again.

But I couldn’t quit you.  Not just yet.  I wasn’t ready. 

Besides it wasn’t always bad, I tried to tell myself.  Sure you came and went as you pleased, but I was okay with that wasn’t I?  Sometimes I wouldn’t see you for months at a time but then you’d come back and start right in. You never left any physical scars on my body.  You were careful that way.  Sure things got bloody, but no stitches, black eyes, broken bones or hospital visits.  However, my friends could always tell.  “He’s back again, isn’t he?” they’d ask.  And they were always right. “Dump him already, can’t you see what he is doing to you?  You don’t have to live like this.”

Although it took years, I finally listened.  I’d had enough.  It was time.  And as promised, my doctor was there to help SEVER all ties permanently. 

Today Tom, you are but a distant memory to me.  Today, I see only the slightest hint of a scar left behind from your final visit that serves as a constant reminder to me of what I left behind. 

But I am happier now.  

inappropriate behavior