Taking in the severity of the situation she rises slowly and painfully from her chair…The unspoken veil of humiliation weighing heavily on her as she musters up the courage to face the all knowing, non judgmental eyes of the virtual strangers here in cyberspace.
“Hi…My name is Brat, and I have suffered a setback”…” she begins… “a slip, a backslide, a tumble off the wagon if you will…and I am so disappointed in myselfright now.…I worked so hard to “get clean” and I swore I would never again allow myself back to that dark place again…but here I am.”
“It seems lately I have been in a whirlpool of trouble… I have once again found myself in the company of the “bad element” that I swore I was over.I have been frequenting places that I promised I would never return to and hanging out with a less than desirable crowd …the same ones that got me into trouble before…. I was weak.And I caved….
But I’m back!
I knew something had to be done the other day when my old archenemy knocked on my door…WTF?????but luckily it was enough to scare me straight!What a sobering sight that was?
I literally slammed the door in his face so hard that I think he got the hint…at least for now…anyway…I am back…(well sort of)…not sure how much time I have for blogging for the next couple of weeks…but very soon here, I will be cast free of the chains that have tied me to the so cal freeways and the adultsitting/realtor/interior decorator/doctors assistant/packing extraordinaire/ utilities coordinator/ personal banker gig that I have been playing for the last 2 months…. Damn good thing there is a sizeable inheritance that awaits “we heirs” as I continue to worm my way into roll of “favorite offspring”..
(okay, seriously I’m joking…. the inheritance isn’t THAT sizeable).
But can I just say that I ADORE my doctor right now and would probably marry him today if mr.brat didn’t object and if he were a foot taller!…I went to him yesterday due to an annoying earache that has been pestering me ever since Roadrash dragged me to some boring water aerobics classes last summer and all I got out of it was chronic swimmer’s ear…ah…but I digress…After the whole fiddling with the ear thingamajiggy and determining that I spent too much time in the waves as a youth…he wrote a couple of prescriptions, snuck me some free samples and sent me on my way…but not before saying “you have really done great with your weight loss!!!!”Totally unsolicited I swear!!!How cool is that?LOVE HIM RIGHT NOW….Seriously…
Posted By: desertbrat
Comments to this post:
06/18/2007 08:40
Whatever it takes....
Sometimes we HAVE to be scared into doing things. But also give yourself a break because you have had a lot going on lately. You are getting back on track on your own terms and it's going to be fine!
In your honesty. . my scale has gone over 170 in the past few weeks. . . it was almost up 10 lbs (EEK). . but I've brought it down. . and I will survive! Hugs!
Anyway, next Tuesday will be the beginning of our much needed assent back onto the wagon. My life, too, has been filled with places (and foods) that I dare not speak of. But I am going to get back to it. I have to. Everyday is a chance to start over....and come Monday, I have to get back on the road again!!!
Sorry you are having a crazy life too!! But we always find our way!! Oh...and this will go to show you how LONG it has been since I have been on EP. lol. I am just reading this now (one of 48 to go.......)
Ah Brat, I too have digressed somewhat (sigh) but am giving it a go (again). Let's use Tuesday to seriously motivate each other (you too KBB) with weight loss chatter and such!!!
Hope things are coming together on with the "peeps".
Oh, and LOL big time on the water aerobics .... I found my card the other day and had a giggle.
How distracting/upsetting/frustrating,etc it can be to get caught in the "whirlwind" that happens when you're trying to care for or arrange care for the elderly and why a person would backtrack in that situation. Bless your doctor for commenting on your weight loss and bringing you back to us. Hang in there girl. It can be a tough road but I know you can do it!
Can you help me out and write a letter to my fat?!?!? I need to see 150 (or lower) by the middle of August for a reunion...my DH's! ARGH!!! It has taken me soooo long to get here...and now I need to double it? WTH does that mean!!! LOL
But I'm here today and I had already decided I was going to jump back on tomorrow... so I'm just a few days behind the rest of you. The 11-year-old is gone and MIL is out of the hospital (again, but apparently for more than a day or two this time), so I'm back to my normal amount of crazy, which I had begun to figure out how to live with (not like, mind you, but live with).
Brat, I know you have a full plate lately -- keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Like many of the Gals I'm swinging from branch to branch but dropping off to hit the ground in between. Hope you have August 11 free for the Dawg, I'm sure looking forward to seeing you. XOXO
Just cause you fell off the wagon doesn't mean you can't stop by and post once in a while so we know your still alive. I know you are probably swamped with elder issues. My MIL went to assisted living and I'm still swamped with elder issues, but take time for yourself whenever you can. Take care of yourself and drop us a blog when you have time. Your EP buddies miss you!
