10/21/2009 14:20
Still alive
Dear Diary,
Sorry I haven't written to you in a while. I'm in Scotland! And I've been 'supa' busy (and my time on the East Coast left me with some new vocabulary, haha).
I haven't been watching what I eat whatsoever. I took about 3 months off from Phentermine, and I'm JUST getting back on it. I have no idea what I weigh, because I don't have a scale in my apartment in Glasgow. And honestly? I don't much care.
I'm having a blast, drinking too much, staying out too late...I'll get back on track eventually. Although, I can't be sure but I think I might still be doing alright. My clothes haven't gotten any tighter (in fact, they've gotten looser). But I'm chalking that up to hormones - stress as an appetite suppressant.
I'll check in when I can, but I'm not sure how often that will be.
'Til then -
07/29/2009 06:29
Meh.
So, we're moving?
Pretty last-minute decision, that one. And I have to have my bedroom packed by Thursday, because we'll be completely out while I'm at Dartmouth. Bleh.
Wednesday -
School 1-4
Work 4-9:30
Thursday -
Packing.
Lots of packing.
And seeing Chuchy...last real day together for 14 days :-(
Friday -
Going to 6 Flags with some buds (and hopefully Chu)
Saturday -
Depart 4 pm
Arrive just after 7
Take a 4-hr bus ride to Campus
Check into dorm
Sleeeeeeep. As much as I love traveling, it tends to exhaust me.
So. Break from Phen. Put on a few pounds, but I'm still ok with that.
I'm starting back up on Thursday.
Won't be able to blog, though, until the 15th.
But thank you to everyone that left me messages! I really appreciate it, guys. :-)
(and sorry if I've been lazy with my responses...I'll make it up tenfold when I get back!)
Buh-bye for now -
07/20/2009 06:09
Oh boy
Hot damn, have I been busy...not that I'm complaining, mind you. But...well, yeah. I think I am going to take this time to rant lol
Ok, so.
Let's start with...last last week. Starting with the 6th.
I spent that whole week making my Renaissance dress. Which, by the way, the chemise turned out pretty gorgeous but the corset...not so much lol It looked fantastic, actually. It actually looked like it had been professionally done...until I put it on, laced it up, and bent over to pick up a screaming baby. Plop. The eyelets that took me HOURS to hammer in all popped out. I just about ripped the whole thing off.
But oh well.
By the way, that week I slept an average of 3 hours a night, every night...8 days straight. I'm still recovering, so it'll take me a while to get back into the blogging routine..sorry!
Moving on. Ren fair was amazing. I absolutely LOVE walking around aimlessly...I caught a few shows (mostly just the ones at the Pig & Whistle), but the falconer has disapppeared and he was my favorite. Not happy about that.
Moving on. My boyfriend moved...lifting boxes = always fun. The new apartment is much nicer than the last one, though. Fo' sho'.
And I have been spending ALOT of time with my pals lately. It just hit me that I don't have much time left here.
...Which reminds me that I got my itinerary and plane ticket for my trip to Dartmouth! :o)
...Which in turn reminds me that I still have ALOT to do before I leave for Scotland like, you know, applying for a visa lol
My credit card is completely maxed and I have $4 in my checking account. I will not touch my savings because it is all going with me to the UK in September.
And finally, the most important thing...
My brother moved back home! :) Kinda good, kinda bad.
Good - because it'll be good for him. He's a sweet kid, but he's never made very good choices and getting married right outta high school to a (crazy) girl that he knew he didn't really wanna be with....well let's just say that's one of those things he didn't really think through all the way. But they're working out custody and everything seems to be being done in a civil manner.
And baby Jon Jon will be at our house 50% of the time! SHWING!
Bad - He's sad. I think he knows it's the right thing to do, but he's still kinda bummed. Also, baby's sick and screams all night lol Bad.
So that's that.
Oh, and I'm taking a week or so off from Phen and I will start again when I leave for New Hampshire with renewed force.
Still chillin' at 229, and totally content with that.
<3 Later gators
07/01/2009 06:56
Corn dog, anyone?
So. We meet again.
I've actually been weighing in at 225 (shooockkkeerr!) for the past 5-6 days (only checked consecutively, 'cause I was afraid it was a fluke lol).
But then I spent the last 3 days munching myself senseless, freaking PMS. And it doesn't help that I have an uber-irregular cycle, so when it hits...it hits. Lame!
But anyway.
I'm hanging out at a square 230 as of this morning. And I'm perfectly alright with that. Still better than 45 pounds ago, to say the least!
What kills me, is that I'm so chub-tastic to begin with that it takes ALOT of weight off before anyone even notices the shrinkage.
For example, saw my friend Jen today for the first time in a month or so. Her reaction?
"Oh, have you lost a few pounds?"
...Yeah, like half your total body weight, biotch!
Does nothing for my motivation.
But getting checked out by a cutie at work when I bent over to pick something up off the floor...yeah, that made me feel good ^_^ Even if I'm not interested, getting the eye from not-Chucho...Ooh, boy. Let's just say it didn't exactly hurt my self-esteem =)
So my gal-pal Naomi turns 20 on Friday, and I've been trying to put together a little outing...and noone is cooperating. I've gotten every excuse from "I can't, I'm dead broke" to "We're burying my cat Friday afternoon".
Like, seriously? lol I thought 6 Flags woulda been fun...But oh, well. Still going to whip something up.
Rennaissance Fair July 12th ^_^ Sooo excited! I know it's the same thing every year, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it any less. I still have to make my dress, though, so that'll be a doozy to get done on such short notice...guess I'll have to forgo the boning this year, though.
Have a g'night, guys -
06/23/2009 09:42
:-)
Finally out of 230 - haha, I shouldn't say "finally" as if it took a long time.
It didn't.
But it still feels damn good to weigh 220-something - even if it's 229 ^_^
Still pretty precarious though, too. Some minor bloating would rocket me back into the 230s, but whatevs. Still stoked.
Reset my mini-goal on here.
I'd like to weigh in at 215 by the end of August.
Well, actually...lol if we're going to get technical, I'd LIKE to weigh in at 150 by the end of August. But that's not very practical, so I'll dumb it down a bit and settle for another 15 pounds
'Night all
06/21/2009 08:45
Bubulubu
Mmm...Bubulubu's a Mexican candy that Chuchy buys for me every now and then - it's marshmallow with strawberry jelly covered in chocolate. Sooo not-diet! And I'm loving every bite of it :-)
So I got to thinking again, as I'm so prone to do.
And I've noticed that so many people have written about finding balance and contentment in their lives lately, and I've gotta be honest - I'm just not there yet.
Don't get me wrong, I think I'm pretty awesome ^_^ And I'll be the first to admit a little narcissism...but at the same time, I can't fully accept myself as I am until I can acknowledge that I'm happy with myself, as I am. And I don't think I can do that until I can look in the mirror and not see the Pillsbury Doughgirl wearing my brand-new t-shirt.
I'm going to take up Yoga to see if I can't expel a bit of this aura-clouding thinking. Or at the very least, rid myself of these tension headaches :-)
06/16/2009 23:34
Woop.
I am one measly pound away from my short-term goal - which I had originally envisioned hitting by the end of August, soo yay! :o)
06/16/2009 01:12
Sweet deal
Package of blueberries for $2 at Meijer...Mmmmm. That, and I finally picked up some of those Quaker rice cakes that I've been craving (which I don't understand why everyone bitches about them tasting like cardboard! The cheddar ones just taste like puffy Cheetos)
But anyway.
Scale budged. 4 more pounds down ^_^
I'm wearin' those LB Yellow 4s that I treated myself to....yippee!
First day of Microbiology at community college...Felt kinda goofy, 'cause I'd never even stepped on the campus before. Had to ask some kid where the bathroom was lol He looked irritated. But the class isn't so bad - I have a little trouble understanding the professor's accent, but I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough.
All in all, I'm off to a good week - just as long as I don't talk myself out of hitting the gym tonight, I'll be perfectly on track.
Ciao -
06/15/2009 04:56
What did I do to myself?
Yeah, this just hit me 
New Years Eve, I weighed in just over 275.
The last 2 weeks, I've been chillin' at 235, thanks to ToM and water retention (I hope!).
...but honestly, I look in the mirror sometimes when I'm all cutesy'd up and think "hot damn!"
Because I compare this (235) to that (275).
But really...there is soo nothing hot about this =(
At least not yet, anyway. Not really.
I can understand the mechanics of how I got here. I ate too much and moved too little. I wrote off bits and bites here and there as nothing, when they probably contributed a hundred calories (or more!). So I can see how I physically got here.
But how could I have let this happen to myself?
I mean, I follow an objectivist lifestyle. So how is it that I could have held myself in such high esteem while simultaneously sabotaging the very thing that I hold most important?
My quick fixes and short-term happinesses made a hypocrite out of me in the long run =(
Eep.
Well, glad I got that whine out of my system!
So, recap: weekend went just fine. I watched what I put in my mouth, for the most part. But I slacked on the exercise - I just did Friday's lower-body workout and Saturday's cardio this evening. But I had a blast.
Friday went out with Chuchy.
Saturday went to a party.
Sunday hit the gym.
All in all, I'm feelin' pretty good. I think I really needed that lax weekend. 'Twas nice.
Cheers -
06/12/2009 06:49
Unexpected phone calls
...can be either pleasantly welcome, or freakin' annoying.
For instance, a cousin found me on Facebook - I didn't even know she existed, since my aunt ostracized our half of the family about 15 years ago. But anyway, we exchanged phone numbers and had a nice chat about our lives. She's a touch conceited - but then, she's only 13. Slack cut.
On the other hand...
I somehow accidentally got involved with one of those pyramid-scheme recruiter guys. He comes into my place of work every weekend with his wife, and they really are a nice couple. We got to chatting about health products one day, and he was so enthusiastic about the products that he personally uses (made by the company that he works for...go figure) that I stupidly let myself show some slight interest in the topic.
So I caved at his persistance, gave him one of my generic e-mail addresses, and agreed to listen to what he had to say about his "amazing company - really, truly different from other such companies"...Big mistake. He talked me into a webcast presentation that wasted over an hour of my life. And even though I made it very clear that I would NOT be interested in joining him, he somehow got the impression that I would still buy his products regardless.
This man calls me on an almost-daily basis. And I know, I should totally set him straight point-blank and threaten him with the authorities - because it really is almost to the point of harassment. But I'm not a huge fan of confrontation, and I would still have to see him at work all the time, so...I let it slide :-(
Ugghh.
Gym is almost-to-schedule thus far. I flopped yesterday though, so I did that workout today in addition to my cardio.
Chu's nephew made fun of me for only working out half of my body. Apparently, 12-year olds know more about exercise science than I.
