51. To not be self-conscious about eating in front of others!
52. To not be afraid to ask which hairstyle suits your face.
53. To not have people checking you out after looking in your grocery cart.
54. To not feel (and look) like a sausage in stirrup pants.
55. To have your friends NOT be embarrassed to be seen with you.
56. To get promotions/hired or close that sale.
57. Pants that stay up because your waist is smaller than your butt!
58. No more boobs! (this is for the guys!)
59. Wearing shorts or tank tops without fear of arrest or grossing out others!
60. To not have the fear of being rejected.
61. To successfully flirt!
62. To not worry about how to get in and out of the back seat in a two door car!
63. One size fits all and it fits you!
64. To have a lap.
65. To not have the car you are ride in slant in your direction.
66. To be able to use toilet paper as it was meant to be used and not to have to invent ways to "get the job done".
67. To not have to watch TV news reports on fat people in hopes that you haven't been caught on camera!
68. To be able to get between cars in a parking lot without wiping the dust off with your belly and your butt.
69. No more heat rashes and chafing in the upper thighs.
70. So that the cloth in the thigh area doesn't wear away long before the rest of the slacks do!
71. To meet a friend online and not be horrified to have to send a picture of yourself.
72. To not take fat references and fat jokes personally.
73. To know you can go anywhere because wherever you sit you CAN be comfortable and look at ease.
74. To shop at the mall and not have your back ache from lugging your huge butt and stomach around!
75. To be able to stand still, carrying nothing and still look poised.
76. To be able to cross your arms across your chest without them resting on your stomach!
77. To have your feet get smaller.
78. Using your mouth to taste and chew food rather than as just a route to get the food from your lips to your stomach.
79. Blood pressure returns to normal.
80. To avoid other health complications from being overweight.
81. To be able to borrow a co-worker's jacket for an important meeting.
82. To meet someone for the first time and their eyes don't pop out of their head with amazement...because they never knew you're fat!
83. To see your reflection in a mirror or store window without turning away!
84. To wear a watch with a regular length watch band.
85. To look in the mirror when getting your hair cut without thinking you have the biggest face in the world.
86. To not mind getting your picture taken.
87. To not avoid going to the doctor because you have to get "weighed" in.
88. To wake up each morning feeling energized and ready to go.
89. To not even worry about squeezing into small spaces.
90. To not have to enter an elevator and check the weight limit.
91. To look in your closet and have problems deciding which stylish outfit to work since you have so many that look good and fit well.
92. To not have to lie perfectly still in bed at night for fear of breaking the bed!
93. To buy tie shoes instead of slip ons!
94. To be able to walk any distance without looking for a bench to sit on.
95. To look forward to shopping and just trying on clothes!
96. To be able to drive by any fast food place without salivating!
97. To be able to shop at the same store for food instead of having to remember where you shopped last night for the junk food so you can avoid that store for a few days!
98. To not feel lower than low when an innocent child remarks about your size!
99. To not constantly be thinking of where your next morsel of food is coming from.
Boy - if these don't motivate me, I don't know what will!
1. To feel good about ourselves.
2. To have GREAT sex! :)
3. So we won't think people are laughing or talking about us.
4. To buy clothes in a normal store and actually get clothes with some style to them that fit correctly.
5. To have more energy!
6. To be able to tie your shoes/paint toenails.
7. To be able to sit on a floor and get up gracefully.
8. To wear a bathing suit.
9. To cross your legs or sit Indian style.
10. To fit into an airline/theatre/bus/whatever seat without spilling over and without having to see "that look" from the person who has to sit beside you.
11. So our ankles won't swell.
12. To fit into a booth at any restaurant.
13. To not need an extension to a seat belt on an airplane and to have the tray table not balance on our bellies.
14. To not worry about being decapitated in our cars with our seat belts on if we should be in an accident.
15. To not turn beet red after moderate exertion.
16. To be able to pick something up off the floor.
17. Panty Hose that fit!
18. To go to an amusement park and ride the rides.
19. To be able to sit in any chair without worry of breakage.
20. To not have to apologize when caught in a narrow aisle and have someone need to get by.
21. To go dancing, sky diving, bungee jumping....
22. To be able to go horseback riding or ride a bike.
23. To not worry about rashes and sweating.
24. To not have to listen to "caring" people ask why you don't diet or worse still... "gee youhave such a pretty face".
25. To not worry about spilling food, sauces or gravy down the front of your blouse/dress/shirt when eating.
26. To not have to think up some excuse for not doing something because you know your weight will impede you.
27. To not have your belly hit the steering wheel and to be able to fit comfortably in the driver's seat.
28. To have a bra fit comfortably and to be able to buy underwear at Victoria 's Secret rather than at "Tubby the Underwear Guy".
29. To not have to worry about the weight limit of step stools, ladders, motorcycle, exercise equipment, etc.
30. To not get stuck in a turn style.
31. To not wake up feeling achy in the back..or to have ache free legs and feet.
32. So the bathroom scale won't creak and groan when you step on it.
33. To be able to leave the tablecloth on the table at a restaurant instead of dragging it with you when you get up.
34. So you won't look the other way when you see yourself in a monitor where they have security cameras.
35. To never be embarrassed about your size.
36. To not count tying shoes as daily exercise.
37. To not have to wait for the handicap stall when there are plenty of other stalls available.
38. To not be more out of shape than seniors.
39. To not break toilet seat when leaning to one side.
40. To be able to put on wedding rings again.
41. To try to make a double chin and fail!
42. Buy clothing bargains to fit the next year ... and they do!
43. Not to have to worry about plastic zippers or having your pants bust open.
44. Normal waistbands rather than elastic!
45. To wear knee socks correctly instead of worn like slouches!
46. To look good in a tee shirt!
47. To try on slacks or jeans and have the pant leg actually fit over leg!
48. To be able to get close to sink and not come away with a wet belly!
49. To get out of a stuffed chair GRACEFULLY and not look down to see if the chair has come up with you!
50. To not worry if the hairdresser's smock will fit!
Yesterday was officially 3 months since I started my lifestye change. I have struggled, I have triumphed, I have wondered why I'm doing this, I have wondered why I didn't start sooner. But overall, I know I wouldn't still be doing this if it weren't for all the great people I have met on this site and the support of my wonderful, awesome husband. So THANKS to all of you!
Here are this weeks results. Keep in mind that I had gained a little when I was not taking phen last week.
This week: -5.8 pounds
Altogether: -32.2 pounds
I have officially lost over 10% of my body weight! Less than 4 more pounds to lose and I will have lost 1/4 of the weight I need to to get to my ultimate goal weight. Only ONE more pound to go and I will be out of the "morbidly obese" BMI catagory! I'll still be "severely obese" but even that sounds better than "you should be dead, you are so fat!" And I'm most excited about the fact that I only have 1 1/2 chins now, instead of the 2 2/3 that I started with!! Oh, and I only have 9 more to go to reach my Goal #1 (see my "Goals and Rewards" post). I wanted to be there by October 16, but I'm sure I will make it long before then. Good thing, too, because I need a pedicure in a bad way!!!
Man, I don't know how I would be doing this if it weren't for the phen. If you look at my graph, you can OBVIOUSLY see when I am taking it and when I am not. It has been such a blessing for me in helping me control my binging. I'm sure I would have ended up in the hospital with a ruptured stomach at some point if I hadn't found this site and ultimately found out about phen. For me, it has definitely given me the edge I needed to save my own life.
What gives you that edge?
PS - I posted a new pic of me in my gallery - I don't see much difference between my "before" and now, but hubbie says he can see it in my face and how my shirt fits (it's the same shirt in both pics).
Another loss showed up on the scale today - another 1.2 pounds to be exact. I knew I would be able to lose that little gain fairly quickly. It probably has everything to do with the fact that I am taking phentermine again so I actually have energy to exercise and the ability to feel satisfied with less food. But what will I do when I become lighter and can't/shouldn't use the phen anymore? I don't know yet, but I know it will come to me. I still have a long way to go. But in the meantime, I know I'm getting there...
This is a post on Miss Ronda's blog and she gave me permission to share it here. It's just too good to keep to myself!
We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.So, I’m not fat, I’m just really intelligent and my head couldn’t hold any more so it started filling up the rest of me!
Here's to all us smart chicks!
PS - I lost 1.2 pounds of my 2.6 pound gain yesterday! Yeay me! And I finally did the Kathy Smith Lift Weights to Lose Weight DVD - OUCH!!! It's not for wimps, that for sure!
So, I realize that while I have my goals straight in my head, I haven't ever posted my goals for this whole process here. I also don't think I ever really established rewards for myself when I meet those goals. So here goes, from here on out:
Goal #1 - lose 20 pounds from August 7, 2006 to October 16, 2006 (1st quarter of school), for a goal weight of 262 pounds or less.
Reward#1 - haircut, manicure, and pedicure at a day spa (no Great Clips for this one!)
Goal #2 - lose 24 pounds from October 16, 2006 to January 8, 2007 (2nd quarter of school), for a goal weight of 238 pounds or less.
Reward #2 - 2 new cute workout outfits and new workout shoes
Goal #3 - lose 22 pounds from January 8, 2007 to March 26, 2007 (3rd quarter of school), for a goal weight of 216 pounds or less.
Reward #3 - a massage and a facial at a day spa
Goal #4 - lose 18 pounds from March 26, 2007 to May 28, 2007 (4th quarter of school), for a goal weight of 198 pounds or less.
Reward #4 - $200 book shopping spree at Barnes&Noble (yes, I am a book freak!)
Goal #5 - lose 20 pounds from May 28, 2007 to August 6, 2007 (summer break), for a goal weight of 178 pounds or less.
Reward #5 - $500 work wardrobe shopping spree (hey, a girl has to look good at work! And those clothes should last a while...)
Goal #6 - lose 18 pounds from August 6, 2007 to October 31, 2007 (time from when the next school year starts to my 35th birthday), to reach my ultimate goal weight of 160 pounds.
Reward #6 - Diamond pendant (hey, I will reach my goal by losing 143 pounds - I deserve jewelry!)
I will definitely revisit these often and update them once I reach my goals. I am already looking forward to my haircut, pedicure, and manicure in October! And I guess I should start saving up for the others, eh?
since I stopped phen last Saturday: 2.6 pounds gained!
Altogether: 26.4 pounds
OK, I have no one to blame but myself. If you read my last post, I didn't exercise at all for 11 days. Yesterday, I ate out for lunch (pasta) and came home to a dinner made by hubbie (pasta). I know all these factors have everything to do with this gain. At least it isn't a HUGE gain and I'm sure it is one I can get rid of in a fairly short amount of time.
I have decided to start phen again today. I know I was going to be "off" (no comments... I know I am "off!") for 2 weeks, but I think one week will suffice to keep my body guessing.
Work drama is still going. I got to spend an hour and a half in my boss's office, discussing her expectations of me and how she didn't want me to feel dragged into the center of the conflicts. Basically, I should just keep doing what I know is best for my students and don't necessarily look to my "team leader" to set the example. Well, if you didn't want her to be the team leader, why is she the team leader????? Whatever... it's all just so feelings don't get hurt. I know in my heart of hearts that my grade level team will not have the same people on it next school year. I just hope those who SHOULD be on it can hang in there!
BTW, I changed my weigh-in day to Saturday. It just seemed easier so I could post official results without the Monday morning time crunch.
Have a great weekend, everybody! Enjoy the BBQs, and don't feel guilty!
It has been 11 DAYS since I worked out last! I knew it had been a while, but I honestly didn't realize it had been that long! WOW! I exercised tonight though, while watching my beloved ASU Sun Devils not quite kick NAU's butt in the season opener (it's tied at halftime as I type...). What a great escape! It is so amazing to me, though, how easy it is to get out of the habit without even realizing it. I can completely understand how some people can say that they haven't exercised in YEARS - they probably didn't realize how time just kept going by. But not me - this was a wake-up call for me. I can't afford to let myself go more than 1 day without getting on my bike, popping in Leslie Sansone, or (once the weather cools off) going outside for a walk.
While I was on my exercise bike, there were of course all of the fast food commercials that seem to be obligatory for football telelcasts. Have you seen the one for the Triple Classic at Wendy's? The commercial calls the burger Mount Meatmore (among other names) and calls "regular" burgers drink coasters. I swear, all I could think of was they should have named the burger "Massive Coronary." Is that progress? I am finally starting to see fast food for what it is - death. 3 months ago, I probably would have said, "Mmmm, that looks good - let's go get one!" But now I can see that it is nothing but fat and cholesterol. Talk about your non-scale victories! Go me! I did see hubbie's eyes, however, glaze over at the thought of all that meat. What can I do to get him back on the wagon? I know, I know - nothing. He has to want it for himself. *sigh* I hope he wants it soon.
I think I am reconsidering going off the Phen for 2 weeks at a time. I might make it just one. I can definitely notice a difference in this week that I am not taking it. I struggle more with not binging (I haven't so far, but it has been really difficult some days) and I know I am not getting enough water now that I don't have the dry mouth reminder to drink more. So, I might start it again on Saturday. 4 weeks on, 1 week off. That should still prevent my body from becoming accustomed to it, so it can continue to be effective. I just know that if I have to go another week, I will defintely spiral down into a food bender.
I am going through work drama. Without going into too many details, there is a person on my grade level team who is very unhappy working at our school. So she is making all of us miserable as a result. You teachers know how much that can affect your days. In fact, even if you aren't a teacher, you can understand how being around an unhappy person can bring you down. But I became a teacher so I wouldn't have to deal with adult drama - kids are so innocent and don't bring all the baggage that adults do. I just don't have the patience for adults who whine and complain about their jobs and then don't do anything to make the situation better. So that affects me by making me want to eat instead of speak my mind and probably end up making the situation worse. But me eating is making ME worse, so I guess it is better to say what I feel than stuff my emotions down with food. I shouldn't have to feel miserable just because someone else does. No one can control my emotions but me. I will not let this person have control over me and my emotions. I am stronger than that!
OK, thanks for listening! I'm off to check on all of you! Happy losing!
"Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing." – George Sheehan
I am trying to become "happy," but I find that there are days when it just doesn't come to me. Or I should say that it doesn't come naturally. The 7 Habits of Naturally Slim People just don't seem to turn me into one. I know that working towards a goal is often more rewarding than actually reaching the goal, partly because of the personal growth you experience and all of the things you learn about yourself, but today I feel as if I will be on the journey for the rest of my life and never actually reach the goal. I feel that being slim and making the decisions to keep me slim will always be a struggle for me. That is not to say that I don't want to make the decisions, but I am just wondering if it will become so natural that those decisions aren't conscious ones. I want it to be natural. I fear, however, that I will be much like a recovering addict and constantly have to keep my issues with food at the forefront of my mind, just so they don't consume me again. I am in no way trying to make my food issues sound anywhere near as important as an addiction to alcohol or drugs, but I do feel that this is a constant battle for me. There are times when I literally have to go minute by minute and pray I can stay strong enough to not eat more than my stomach can hold. I am happy to say that I haven't binged in over 2 months, but I still don't feel that I am in control of that. I am happy that I have accepted the struggle and I have endured it for nearly 3 months, and that I am accomplishing more than I had hoped for in such a short amount of time. I am just looking forward. And I hope from there that I can look back and see how strong I was.
It has been 11 DAYS since I worked out last! I knew it had been a while, but I honestly didn't realize it had been that long! WOW! I exercised tonight though, while watching my beloved ASU Sun Devils not quite kick NAU's butt in the season opener (it's tied at halftime as I type...). What a great escape! It is so amazing to me, though, how easy it is to get out of the habit without even realizing it. I can completely understand how some people can say that they haven't exercised in YEARS - they probably didn't realize how time just kept going by. But not me - this was a wake-up call for me. I can't afford to let myself go more than 1 day without getting on my bike, popping in Leslie Sansone, or (once the weather cools off) going outside for a walk.