Official Weigh-in - Week 18

I know I will weigh again on Monday, to mark what my "starting weight" is for my challenge with Driven and my Goal #2, but here is my official Week 18 weight report:

This week:  - 8.4 pounds

Altogether:  - 44.8 pounds

I lost only 0.2 pounds from yesterday, so thank goodess this is starting to slow down.  And today is my rest day from exercise, so hopefully my body can recover from losing so much so quickly.  I am glad that I have lost almost 45 pounds, though.  This is the most I have ever lost at any one time.  Usually I make it to about 40 pounds and stop for one reason or another.  But I am still so motivated to keep going, I know I will be able to get to goal.  And even if I don't (big if, but you never know...), I am so much healthier than I was 5 months ago. 

I want to become healthy enough that my son doesn't even remember what I looked like when I was morbidly obese and sluggish.  He's almost 6 and I want to be the best role model for him I can be.  Sitting on the couch, shoving my face with chocolate eclairs (that one's for you, Mom) is definitely NOT being the best role model.  But last night, as I was doing my upper body routine, Jason started lifting my 1-pound dumbells and doing the same moves as me.  Then he got down on the floor and did "pushups" (his butt was the only thing moving) and "crunches" (his head was the only thing moving).  It was so cute!  And it inspires me to keep going.  I know I wasn't doing those things when I was his age, so hopefully I am starting to instill some healthy habits in him already.  He sees me exercising, so he is exercising.  He tells his teacher at school that McDonald's is only for sometimes because it's not healthy for your body.  5 months ago, he would not be doing these things. 

Wow, talk about a non-scale victory!  Try to find yours in unexpected places today.

PS - I added a new pic to my gallery.  We just adopted a new dog, Maggie, and it's almost scary how closely she and our other dog, Katy, look alike.  Both are about the same age and they act as if they have known each other their whole lives.  Could they be longlost littermates?  Hmmm...

Another day, another pound

Truthfully, I'm starting to get concerned.  Maybe I'm not eating enough.  I've lost 8.2 pounds in 6 days.  I wouldn't think anything of it if this were the beginning of my weight loss, but I've been doing this for 4 months.  I don't think I should be losing this much so quickly.

Yesterday, I ate 1740 calories (Sonic for dinner - couldn't help myself!), but I exercised for 45 minutes on my stationary bike.  According to EP's activity log, I burned 900 calories doing that.  But I was reading in this month's Shape Magazine:

"If you're exercising 30 to 60 minutes several days a week, a good rule of thumb is to eat 15 calories per pound of your goal weight.  So, if you're aiming for 135 pounds, have about 2,025 calories a day."

Since I exercise for 45 minutes most days of the week, this rule applies to me.  Since my goal is 160 pounds, that's 15x160.  That's 2400 calories!  In one day??  I find that hard to swallow (no pun intended!).  Don't most dieticians say to eat between 1200-1500 for women if you want to lose weight?  No more than 1800, anyway.  I'm so confused!  But I do know that I'm losing weight too quickly, so I need to eat a few more calories during the day.  Maybe I should up my calories to 1800 again?  That just seems like a lot (weird, considering I would top 3000 a day 5 months ago!).  I guess I'll have to experiment to find out what's best.

hee hee - I never thought I would be WORRIED about losing weight and trying to talk myself into eating MORE!  I've come a long way, baby!

I caught a glimpse of her yesterday

I'm still obsessed with the scale.  Today it said I was 259.6.  I'm in the 250s!!!  I honestly don't remember the last time I was this low.  OK, I do but it's pathetic - I weighed 253 on the day I delivered my son.  That was almost 6 years ago.  Yikes!  I'm bigger than I was when I was full-term with a 9-pound-plus baby!  Never again!  Ever!

I could see a little bit of Skinny Lisa yesterday as I stepped out of the shower.  I still didn't like what I saw completely, but I could see the future and my own potential, and it made me feel good.  I know that I can do this.  I deserve this for myself.  As L'Oreal would say, I'm worth it.  As Lafay would say, I'm too important to give up on.  So, I know I'm under there somewhere.  The excavation has begun, and I can finally hear myself calling.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAALLL!!!

I officially made my Goal #1!!  Yeehaw!!  And with 4 days to spare!  I weighed 260.8 this morning.  I got on the scale twice just to be sure the same number came up.  Here's a revisit of my goals and rewards list:

Goal #1 - lose 20 pounds from August 7, 2006 to October 16, 2006 (1st quarter of school), for a goal weight of 262 pounds or less.  ACHIEVED OCTOBER 11, 2006!

Reward#1 - haircut, manicure, and pedicure at a day spa (no Great Clips for this one!)  SCHEDULED FOR OCTOBER 14, 2006!

Goal #2 - lose 24 pounds from October 16, 2006 to January 8, 2007 (2nd quarter of school), for a goal weight of ??? pounds or less.  (I'M NOT SURE WHAT I WILL WEIGH ON OCTOBER 16, SO I WILL FILL IN  THAT NUMBER THEN)

Reward #2 - 2 new cute workout outfits and new workout shoes

Goal #3 - lose 22 pounds from January 8, 2007 to March 26, 2007 (3rd quarter of school), for a goal weight of 216 pounds or less.

Reward #3 - a massage and a facial at a day spa

Goal #4 - lose 18 pounds from March 26, 2007 to May 28, 2007 (4th quarter of school), for a goal weight of 198 pounds or less.

Reward #4 - $200 book shopping spree at Barnes&Noble (yes, I am a book freak!)

Goal #5 - lose 20 pounds from May 28, 2007 to August 6, 2007 (summer break), for a goal weight of 178 pounds or less.

Reward #5 - $500 work wardrobe shopping spree (hey, a girl has to look good at work!  And those clothes should last a while...)

Goal #6 - lose 18 pounds from August 6, 2007 to October 31, 2007 (time from when the next school year starts to my 35th birthday), to reach my ultimate goal weight of 160 pounds.

Reward #6 - Diamond pendant (hey, I will reach my goal by losing 143 pounds - I deserve jewelry!)

I "only" wanted to get to 262 by the end of the first quarter of school (October 16), so I have passed my goal and will weigh even less by the time I start Goal #2 (again, October 16).  Then I want to lose 24 pounds from whatever weight I am on Monday by Januray 8 (start of third quarter).  That's a 12-week time span, so 2 pounds a week is realistic.  I think Goal #2 will be the toughest so far, though, because that time frame includes the holidays and Mom's visit.  BTW, I have scheduled Reward #1 for Saturday - haircut, mani, pedi.  I can't wait!!!

I really need to make an effort to eat cleaner.  While I am pretty good at staying within my calorie limit, I still eat too much crap.  Not so much snacky stuff anymore - but my meal choices still leave much to be desired.  I want to get some recipes for GOOD, healthy meals (that are quick and don't require a lot of prep), but it seems all the cookbooks out there are packed with froo-froo meals and require foods I either don't like, can't find, costs too much, or I can't even pronounce.  Do they have cookbooks for regular people?  I think I might hit a book store today and scour their shelves.  In the meantime, any suggestions for realistic cookbooks or recipes?

I hope yours is a day of reaching goals!  I'm off to check on all of you!

Obsession

I am obsessed with watching the numbers fall on my scale.  I love waking up in the morning and seeing that the number that was on it is smaller than the number that was on it yesterday.  I even weigh myself before I go to bed, just so I can see a smaller number on the scale in the morning.  This is an unhealthy obsession, I know.  But at this point, it's better for me to be addicted to weighing myself than addicted to food.

Would I rather be obsessed with something else?  Actually, no.  Obsessions, by their very definition, are not healthy.  They tend to be all-consuming.  If I were obsessed with exercise, that would eventually become just as unhealthy as being obsessed with food.  If I were obsessed with a person, that could lead to a restraining order.  So, if I have to have an obsession, I guess weighing myself to see a number is, in the grand scheme of things, pretty harmless.

Eventually, I would like to be OK with weighing myself every once in a while, like a normal person.  But until I get to that place, the number is what I need to keep me motivated to get and stay healthy.  And that, in the grand scheme of things, is pretty important.

What are some of your "harmless" obsessions that keep you motivated?

BTW, another number that I'm pretty happy with this morning - I've lost 5 INCHES off my waist!  Wow! 

New-ish clothes

I went closet shopping yesterday.  I had so much fun!  I tried on about 12 pairs of jeans and a couple of dresses.  They were all size 22 and THEY ALL FIT!    So, I got a wild hair up my butt and decided to go through my entire closet and get rid of anything that was higher than a 22 or 2X.  Wow...  I found clothes with tags still on them and clothes I hadn't worn in years.  It kind of made me sad to think I spent all this money on clothes I never even wore, because when I bought them they were already too small.  When I bought them, I planned to lose weight and eventually fit into them.  So I shoved them into the back of my closet until that elusive "someday."  Well, now I am glad that "someday" came and went - those clothes that were too small are now too big.  So, they are being donated to charity.  I have 3 big lawn bags FULL of clothes that I can/will no longer wear.  I refuse to buy a size 24 or higher ever again!  So they are all gone.  Yay me!  I've dropped almost 40 pounds and gone from a 26 to a 22.  And I have 10 "new" pairs of pants I totally forgot I had.  Even better!

Another newbie is among us - stop by Kristi Erin's blog and say hi!

Jen - I can't wait to hear from you about my challenge!  Game on?

3babies - thanks for stopping by!  You're so close, even I can taste it!

Everyone else - keep on keepin' on!  You are all so inspiring to me!

Give a giant EP shout-out!

There's a newbie in our midst who needs some encouragement.  Make sure to stop by teresa_m's blog and say welcome!  She's where we've all been, so any glimpse into her future would give her that extra push we all needed at the beginning.

Thanks everybody!

Told ya!

 OK, even I am surprised at this one...  In my last post, I expressed confidence that I would be able to lose this week's gain fairly quickly and get back to where I was last week (last week I was 264.2 compared to 266.8 this week).  When I said "fairly quickly" I didn't mean THIS quickly!  The scale said 263.4 this morning!!!!  3 1/2 pounds in one day???  Is that really possible?  I guess so, because it happened!  And I'm even lower than I was last week!  I started phen again yesterday and was going to the bathroom like a crazy woman.  I also exercised on my stationary bike for 45 minutes AND did some upper body moves with my dumbells.  I guess that could explain it.  Now I am completely confident that I will surpass my goal of 262 by October 16th.  That's fine by me, though, because next goal is to lose 24 pounds by January 8th regardless of what number I start at on October 16th.  So I'll be even SMALLER by the time I see my mom again.  I'm so excited!

I've also gone back in my paper journal since today is exactly 4 months since I started my weight loss journey.  I'm really please with the breakdown:

June 8 - July 8:  303.2 starting weight to 296.4.  Total loss for the month is 6.8 pounds.  This was pre-phen.

July 8 - August 8:  296.4 pounds to 282.6 pounds.  Total loss for the month is 13.8 pounds.  I started phen on July 29th.

August 8 - September 8:  282.6 pounds to 271 pounds.  Total loss for the month is 11.6 pounds.

September 8 - October 8:  271 pounds to 263.4 pounds.  Total loss for the month is 7.6 pounds.

Total loss altogether is 39.8 pounds in 4 months.  Pretty respectable, if I do say so myself.  Even if I consistently perform like my worst month on phen for the next 3 months, that will be at least another 23 pounds lost by the beginning of January when I see Mom again (my goal is 24 pounds though since there are 12 weeks between October 16 and January 8 - the 2nd quarter of school).  That will put me at about 240.  I can't even remember the last time I was 240.  The last time she saw me I was 303!  That's 63 pounds difference - that's more than some people even want to lose at all.  I, on the other hand, won't even be halfway to my ultimate goal, but I will be (and already am) well on my way!  I hope my mom is shocked when she sees me in 3 months!  It'll be fun to see her expression!

OK all!  Happy losing this week!  Keep the Halloween candy out of the house for another 3 weeks - we can do this!

PS - Thanks for all your well wishes while I was sick.  I am feeling MUCH better and can finally talk again.  Shellyh - Jason is doing MUCH better in school.  I guess it clicked.  Thanks for thinking of him.  And you're right about the tea.  Maybe I'll make it an evening, calm down ritual.   

Official Weigh-in - Week 17

The longer I do this, the more shocked I am that I am still here.  Thank goodness I found EP, or I'd be back to the beginning, I'm sure.

I was right when I said I would be back where I was 2 weeks ago.  Here are this week's results:

This week:  2.6 pounds gained

Altogether:  -36.4 pounds

I was/am sick and TOM showed up in the middle of all this, so I'm not going to beat myself up about the 2 1/2 pounds.  I am back on the phen, and I have a whole week off from school, so I fully expect to lose this little bit of gain and then some.  My first goal date is NEXT Monday, October 16th.  I want to be 262 by then.  That's just under 5 pounds, which I think I can do.  That's s lot for one week, but I gained the last couple fairly quickly, I haven't been exercising because I was/am sick, TOM was here this past week, and it was my "one week off" for the phen.  So, this coming week, I can kick start my weight loss again.  Mini-goal #1, here I come!  The last time I had my "one week off" from the phen, I gained just under 2 pounds, but then lost almost 6 the next week.  So this 4.8 is definitely doable.

To get this done, here are my goals:

• wean myself off the OJ and hot tea and back to nothing but water.  At least 85 oz. daily.
• exercise for 45 minutes everyday until my next weigh-in.  Saturday-bike, Sunday-Leslie Sansone WATP 3 miles, Monday-bike, Tuesday-LS WATP 3 miles, Wednesday-bike, Thursday-LS WATP 3 miles, Friday-bike.
• upper body strength training on the bike days - Saturday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
• abs workout on the WATP days - Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday
• limit calories to 1400-1500 daily.
• plan out my meals the day before, to make sure I stay within my calorie window

I am so confident that I will make my goal by my next weigh-in, I am going to schedule my mani/pedi/haircut reward for next Sunday, October 15.  I'll call as soon as I get my voice back...

I'm off to check on all my loser friends!  Have a thin week, everyone!

Comfort Food

Why is it when you are sick, you don't crave carrots or broccoli?  You crave sweet / starchy / salty / fill in your own blank foods.  I for one crave the cakey sweets. 

So, if you put 2 and 2 together, you get weight gain.  I fully expect to be right back where I was 2 weeks ago when I weigh in tomorrow. 

Do I care at this point?  Yes, and no.  Should I have eaten all the junk food this week?  No.  Did eating the junk food help me get better?  No.  Did it make me feel better?  No.  But I did it anyway. 

I wonder why we resort so quickly to our old habits when we are not feeling 100 percent.  I mean, I have been making weight loss and health improvement a priority in my life for the last 17 weeks now.  Why does it only take 3 days of being side-lined to go back to the beginning? 

I completely lost my voice yesterday.  When I say completely, I am not exaggerating.  I had to use my loudest student and best reader to read my notes to him out loud to the class.  That was fun.    Giving a hyperactive 7 year old that much control in the classroom is never a good idea, but I was desparate.  I mananged to whisper my way through 4 parent conferences.  Today started out better - I "only" sounded like "Helen" in those old anti-smoking ads - but by the end of the day and 9 parent conferences later, my voice is totally gone again.  So what do I resort to for dinner?  The best health food around of course - McDonald's.  *sigh* 

Next week is my Fall Break, and I plan on recommitting.  I will start taking the phen again tomorrow, TOM will be on its way out within the next day or 2, and I will have time to rest and relax.  Hopefully I can lose enough weight this next week to actually meet my goal by October 16.  I'll let you know tomorrow how much I have to lose to make it.  Hopefully it won't be some outrageous number!  I guess it's a good thing I didn't schedule my mani/pedi/hair appointment yet.  I'll shoot for my reward next weekend.  We'll see...