06/24/2011 04:47
Sigh...
I need to shake this exhaustion. I've been making poor choices due to nonexistent planning and fatigue. I'm doing all I can to plan better but I think my pace is making me sick actually. My weeks are 50 hrs plus another 8 hrs in commute weekly if nothing happens to make me stay late. I should be grateful because SO many ppl want hours and/or jobs that I feel like an *ss for complaining. I need to pick a day I am off and pack some throw together,eat at your desk meals..It's a start.
06/20/2011 21:26
New day..
Never say never..I am back. I am here to learn and go on a self discovery with an open mind. I am here in support of my sister and myself so that we may quiet our minds and live full lives without regret. Here is to a new day..
10/27/2010 19:08
stressed...
I let my week spin out of hand a bit due to stress at work. I know that our bodies are built to manage stress with our" fight or flight" mechanism but not built to manage ongoing and constant stress. It raises your cortisol levels and results in all kinds of physical issues including storing belly fat !! I have a huge butt so the very last thing I need is storing more belly fat. My sister knows how to meditate and sent me some things to help me so I plan to control the things I can. My life is not perfect by most peoples standards but it's mine. I can't let the day to day struggles weigh me down so to speak. I have a loving family but I have many issues to work though. This isn't a game of smoke and mirrors. I have to be honest about "what's eating me" or i will never be successful. I am committing to 15 minutes a day of meditation to help relax me and hopefully give me some clarity.
Love to all
S
10/21/2010 14:55
I'll take it !!
It's an off day to weigh but I needed to know that it was going down..even a little. I'm down 2.4 pounds and I'm pleased. I'm right on target with what I had hoped for ;)
Good night all
xxx
10/16/2010 22:53
Tired.com :)
Yes Heather your catchphrase caught on..lol. I worked 12.5 hrs and did my usual 2 hour round trip commute. This equals one tired chick. I didn't get in bed until 10am then up at 4pm...sheesh. No time to walk with that schedule. It takes me a good 30 minutes to wake up. After 17 years, nights is starting to have negative effects on my energy. We go,go,go all night pumped with caffeine then most of us take something to force our bodies to sleep and the day starts again. So instead of this being a roadblock I'm going to commit to longer more intense bouts of exercise on my days off and allow my body to rest when I work 3 night stretches. Maybe I'll even pop in a yoga DVD to help me on these days. Anyway I'm off to work...
Have a great rest of your day
xxx
10/15/2010 21:14
Hurting in odd places ;)
So I've waked again today and I am hurting in places I didn't know you could hurt in..lol. So I know the hills are helping me. I tend to walk faster and harder when my son is not with me but today he was and that is a joy in itself. We look at cows along the way and all the pretty leaves. We were walking up a steep hill and I was clearly out of breath and this little poop says "I'll race you to the stop sign" Granted it was only about 100 feet but I busted out in a run and he said "Mom I didn't know you could do that !!! " Well just hold on wee one because this old bird may be stronger than I give myself credit for. Win 1 for team Mom 
.
xxx
10/15/2010 04:35
I walked and I cried..
I had a beautiful moment with God today. I cleared my mind and went back out on the road just to be alone. All kinds of emotions just poured out of me. I ended up talking to God aloud. I think I hit almost every emotion out on that pavement. I walked and walked hard and fast. At one point I looked back and was shocked at how far my home was..I prayed for peace of mind,contentment,and asked God to carry my burden for awhile. By the time I arrived back I felt lighter and less broken somehow. I haven't been the wife I wanted to be for some time now,the mother,or the daughter I want to be..but more importantly I haven't been my friend. The road hold answers for me so I will be visiting it often. No Ipods on to drown out my thoughts..just a small town girl trying to understand where it all went wrong.
xxx
10/14/2010 22:38
Good walk today
We had a great walk ! I may actually go alone again while Gabriel does his late classes for school. I have been reading and found a passage by Bob Harper that really spoke to me.
It's a Question of Baggage
Whenever I talk to people about fear of the unknown,I always remind them that we all get comfortable in our own worlds and don't want to change. Before you even try to put your baggage behind you,you have to look at it and see it for what it is. You may be saying to yourself, "I don't want to open that Pandora's box ! It's just too scary." But you need to open that box,as bad as those feelings or memories might be,so that you can see what it is you're afraid of. By continuing to avoid those skeletons in your closet,you only give those old bones more power.
I'm thinking about this....more to come.
10/14/2010 19:28
I'm back and I'm walking
I have had a really hard go of it but I am back and walking everyday with Gabriel. I am not pointing yet but I am trying to eat sensibly and not drink my calories. I truly had a drinking problem that resulted in 600-900 calories a day in Pepsi. Can you just imagine how much healthy food I could have had for the same calories? So hopefully that change alone will kick start me back to where I need to be. So I'm off to hit the open road and see where it takes us 
08/29/2010 02:52
Ready to throw things..
I can't get the blog wizard to work !! I'm about to throw it out the window....
