not a fan of the date thing on here :(

It's claiming it's Sunday--but it isn't! It's only 9:45 on Saturday, so don't accuse me of missing more days than I have, EP. That's mean.

So...where did we leave off?

Right, Tuesday night. Right. The next day was going to be great! Last chance workout & all.

Well...

This week didn't really end so well. I mean, I shouldn't say that, because the ACTUAL end of the week--i.e. Friday, and today--were great. Just not...Wednesday & Thursday.

Here's the thing. For the last 2 weeks, I've been training the new girl at work that's going to replace me. At the same time, we've also had our part-time girl in, and she's been able to do extra hours because she's between class sessions (she starts them back up on Monday). Therefore, it's been a real case of "too many cooks," and, well, it's thrown me off. The result? A week of barely eating at all during the day, often no lunch at all, and then dinner--often just barely hitting 1200. And exercising, too. And the result of all that? Feeling cranky, headaches--and barely being able to drink water, because I wasn't eating and was therefore rarely very thirsty at all. (Let it be known that as per SparkPeople, which I know isn't perfect but DOES have the math aspect down pretty well, with my current activity level, I should be eating at minimum 1470.)

But in my mind, I was doing a GOOD thing this week! After all, I have a vacation coming up, and it's a good idea to cut back those extra calories. And I know what I'm doing! Really! I totally have it all figured out, never mind what, you know, websites and people who are actually licensed in nutrition say and tell me to eat. I can totally do this.

Add to that the fact that with the upcoming move--and all that it entails--my stress level & emotions have been all over the place...

Add to THAT, that I didn't go to the gym on Wednesday (I did do my Billy Blanks tae bo DVD, which I love, but the activity level is just not as high as what I normally do)...

And what do you get?

A gain. A slight gain--0.6--so slight that frankly, I'm not changing my tracker. I'm not. But a gain. Or a fluctuation, I'm willing to call it that, what with the definite lack of water. But still, the number on the scale this week was higher than last week.

My consultant was super-supportive & didn't make a big deal, just told me that the lack of water and increased stress were probably messing with my body, and that next week I'd see a good number, as per my usual pattern (though generally it goes good loss, tiny loss, good loss, without any "up's" in there).

But I admit, it kinda knocked my good mood down. I really thought I was doing well, and I really thought that I'd see a loss this week--even a small one. But it goes to show that those things I thought were a good idea back in the college days--not eating all day, exercising on little food--are actually, you know, not good ideas. They're bad ones.

So since Thursday, I've been eating in my range, and eating regularly. I've been not stressing myself because my calories have been hovering around 1500-1600--because I've also burned 1000 extra calories this week above what I'm supposed to. And there's no end in sight with the exercise--have it planned in some form for every day this week. So I need to learn to turn off that voice in my head sometimes--not the sensible voice that says, "you don't really need a snack, you're bored," but the one that says "I DON'T CARE THAT YOUR TRACKER SAYS EAT 1500, YOU ARE FAT AND SHOULD EAT MUCH LESS. CUT THAT BACK. EAT 1200. AND THEN GO EXERCISE."

So we'll see. We'll see what the next weigh-in brings. But honestly? I'm not really thinking about that number right not. What I'm thinking about is enjoying good times with good friends over this week, hanging out with people for what might be the last time for a good while, and not letting the stress overtake me. That's hugely unproductive AND makes me miserable, so why let it do that? Negative energy is worse than no energy at all, in my opinion, and what I want to attract is positive energy. That's why I enjoy this site so much, and all of the blogs of yours that I read--because even on a bad day, even when you feel low, you are inspiring me and giving me strength to carry on, and bringing me positive energy, and I really just feel so fortunate for that.

So here's to positive energy and silencing those stupid voices--we're stronger than that!

wow, me, just wow

Sure, I'll blog every day! Sure I will! If by "every" day I mean, blog, then wait 4 days, then blog again...

Well it's improvement, at least. Right? Right? *hopes*

At any rate...

Since Thursday, it's been a good week! We went to a friend's place Friday night into Saturday for our monthly "MST3K Drink Night"--this was our last one, since we're moving. Enjoyed a couple of drinks and a terrible movie, then spent the next day together driving around, shopping,  and just generally goofing off. This particular friend & I have been best friends since high school, and he & my husband really hit it off once they met as well (before we got married--actually, the summer before we got married, they used to hang out when I wasn't there! it was great!), so it's been wonderful living near each other again. He's a military "brat," so it's been awhile since we lived in the same state. He then ended up spending the night at our place, small though it is, and he & the husband played video games while I chatted with my family.

Sunday was a Very Productive Day--normally, we'd use Sunday as a gym day, but we weighed our options (namely that if I went Sunday, I would have exercise  4 days in a row--not a bad thing at all, but I tend to burn myself out, especially if it's the gym 2 days in a row), and decided that there were many many productive things we could get done if we put our minds to it. So we went grocery shopping, did 5 loads of laundry, cleaned, packed a few boxes, I baked DH these blueberry muffins that he adores (I don't, so it's win/win for him)...we felt really accomplished, and as a result I felt no guilt over missing the gym. These are things that needed to get done, and during the week it's just hard.

And yesterday...ugh. This weather just sucks, plain and simple. I'm already rather sad and nostalgic and moody over this whole move, and so the constant gray weather is doing NOTHING to improve it. Not a thing. But still, it was a good day, and I'm proud of myself for not letting the gloom & mopey-ness drag me down and just laze about...though it IS hard. Got to the gym last night and had a good, intense workout--gotta love those ArcTrainers--and then came home and relaxed with some dinner and TV with the husband.

Which brings us up to today! So it's ALMOST like I blogged ;)

Today!

Another gloomy, gray day...but the bright spot came after the work day ended, when DH & I met up with a friend of ours for some gaming (them, mostly, while I went to a KICKASS Zumba class--this was one of the most intense yet, and I loved it!) and then dinner. The meal was good, but the company was better...it's really weird to realize that these people we've basically spent the last 3 years of our lives with (2 year Master's program, and then a year of working)--who knows when we'll see them in person again? There is, of course, the Internet, web cams, Skype, and all manner of other things (including good old fashioned phone calls!)--but still, when you see a person every day...

Yeah, this week has some DEFINITE weepy potential. I'm an emotional Scorpio at heart, it must be said.

So now, onto the rest of the week! Tomorrow shall be my "last chance workout" before Thursday's weigh-in--come on, loss! I don't expect another loss like last week (2.8 pounds! granted after 2 weeks, but still, one of those weeks was FULL of off-plan decisions), but I'll gladly accept half of that (or more)...

A happy, healthy week to all, hopefully with more sunshine for you then I've got right now!

still i wonder, who'll stop the rain

That's what I'm wondering right now. Doesn't, you know, SUMMER start on Sunday? So shouldn't this miserable rainy weather take a HIKE?

I wish it would.

So...I'm back. But for real, now, though I know I'll be hitting an Internet-free period in the near future (first part of July, as well as the first part of August)--but I HAVE been reading if not commenting/posting, so you can rest assured I've been keeping up!

Rather than try to remember when I weighed in as what, or how it fluctuated (and it has, now & then), I just posted tonight's official WI. 2.8 pounds down this week! I almost lost my actual mind. Primarily because, well, I weighed in a couple of Thursdays ago (2, to be exact)--and then went away/home for 5 days. TOM arrived just as I got home, and then it was a few definitely...off-plan days, let's call them that. So when I got back, I knew that a WI was a bad idea--I know for many people it would be a good idea, but I've been having a bit of a rough time lately (fixating on numbers and dates, rather than focusing on a steady, healthy progression) in terms of obsessing over the numbers of it all, so I wanted to give myself that break. Kicked the exercise up, as well as the water, and ate much lighter lunches than usual--my version of a "detox," so to speak, except with eating (I had watermelon, yogurt, and a string cheese for lunch every day since I've been back--lots of water, some protein & carbs, etc).

And it worked!

Now I feel officially comfortable saying that I've lost over 50 pounds. I hit the "official" 50 pounds lost mark the night before we went home for a visit, but I knew I wouldn't feel secure in it until I knew that I was more than 0.4 away from being over again! But now...this is literally 3 pounds away from the lowest weight I've been in 4 years. No exaggeration. At least, the lowest weight that I knew about--so I'm counting it that way.

The next couple of months are going to be hugely full of change and chaos, though for positive reasons--I admit I'm still a bit nervous about sharing a lot of personal detail online, but I'm comfortable enough to say that I was accepted into a PhD program & will be moving with the husband to start that in the fall. The move isn't going to be easy, especially emotionally--we've made some real connections up here, personally and professionally, as well as just--this is where we got engaged, and where we spent the first year of our married life. Plus it's just an amazing city. But we know that this move will be a good thing for both of us, with new opportunities & experiences (as well as being closer to family), and we're doing our best to embrace that side of it.

That being said, these last couple of weeks here have a lot that we want to pack in! But I'm doing my best not to subscribe to the mentality I've been known to get into (hello, week before the wedding & two weeks after) of "well it's the end of everything, so I should just forget about diet and exercise and just have fun." The two aren't mutually exclusive to me anymore, and THAT is another one of those NSV's--that I'm learning more & more about BALANCE, about how it's possible to have treat, or a meal, or even a day, where I don't worry or count or stress, and then get right back on with exercise, water, and a reminder that what I'm doing, or trying to do, is the rest of my life--it's not something that I'm just doing until I fit in a certain size or see a certain number on the scale. Therefore, going to either extreme--obsessing over every bite, or completely disregarding basic nutrition & health information--isn't the route I want to take. Will we be trying to hit our favorite restaurants once more before we go? Sure. Will there be nights when we forego the gym in favor of a drink with friends? Possibly. But neither of those things needs to be the end of the world or even the end of my work for that day--THAT'S what I want to remember.

My goal is to leave here at least 3 pounds lighter than I am right now--that'll bring me down to 55 total pounds lost, a number I can be damn proud of (I'm proud of 50, too, but you know what I mean). Along with the weight loss this week came my 2nd 10% loss--well, OK, I'm 0.2 away, but I'm counting it. There's a hell of a lot that I've achieved in the last year (I started this journey on June 13, 2008), and I'm trying to focus on that and not worry about the days, the meals, the numbers ahead. That only freaks me out.

You know how there's that saying about "today is a gift, that's why we call it the present"? I admit, I've never liked that as the ending--I don't know why. But there's a shirt at one of my favorite stores-- Everything's Jake, the makers of Life is Good--that ends it in a way that I feel much more connected to, that I'm trying to keep in mind now: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery--today is the day." So part of my goal of living in the "now"--of enjoing my last weeks in the city, etc--is that I want to blog it, to focus on the little moments of the day that get forgotten more often than not, when I wait. So therefore, I vow here before you--and if it's written down it must be true!--to blog EVERY day, from today until July 2. It'll be a great place for me to keep track of how I spent my last two weeks, plus remind me of the benefits of focusing on the present.

Wish me luck--you'll be seeing a lot more of me soon, and I'll be commenting too! Congratulations to all of you on all you've achieved--each and every one of you should be proud of all of your accomplishments, no matter how small they feel to you.

where does the time go?

I'm certainly NOT the best judge of time-keeping, that's to be sure. I've got a really good memory of things, but time seems to blend at times--so it's unbelievable to me how long it's been since I posted!

Let's see, since last time...

*Went home for Easter & enjoyed a wonderful time with family and friends
*Finished one job and changed hours on the other
*Went and saw BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN IN CONCERT and screamed my voice out...I am such a dork for him that it's ridiculous, but I mean, the energy on stage...
*Lost more than 2 pounds!

So as you can see I'm excited. And now for me it's "summer", both weather-wise and schedule-wise, so that's even more exciting. Is it weird that one of my first big excitements was, "I get more time to exercise!"? Plus, as many others observe, when it gets warm like this I don't want to eat the heavy food as much--definitely into the salads, the fresh fruit, the lighter side of things. Though still ice cream. There are very few times of the year when ice cream sounds like a bad idea. Snowing? Nope, even then. It's just that in the summer, EVERYONE that walks by has a cone--so it gets a little harder to fight. But I will!

I'm just really feeling in a groove with this, and enjoying that. There've been a lot of schedule-style conflicts--time away, etc--but I've managed to get working out in there, each time. Went home for Easter, managed to get to the gym (family members have joined too, so we went together)--went out of town this weekend & while I couldn't formally use a gym, I did some of the free TV workouts in the hotel room. Which in turn made me realize that I need to start doing the circuit training or something. Right now I'm doing almost all cardio, at the gym, which is definitely great but I need to tone, too. I did one of those things & glutes workouts and holy wow, I was sore the next day...kind of embarrassing.

The highlight of the two weekends, though--both the one at home and the one this weekend in which I saw lots of adults I haven't seen since my wedding last July--was, I admit it, the absolute excitement on people's faces over my weight loss. It was exclaimed over by so many people in such complimentary ways, and things like that really, really keep me going--the changes I can't always see myself are reflected not just in my clothes or on the scale, but also in the reactions that people have. And that feels fantastic.

I feel like there's more that I'm forgetting but this post could turn into an epic, so I'll stop it here. However, regular schedule = regular posting--so stay tuned! :)

wow, it really has been that long

Hello all!

Yes, I'm still alive. Yes, I'm still doing well--my tracker shows that I've officially hit the 40-pound-loss mark as of this evening! (I was 0.4 away last week, so I didn't update it. Hence the largish jump this time.)

I'm starting to feel that this is routine, now, this new way of eating, exercising, thinking. Doesn't mean that I don't still have bad moments, stressed or so "off plan" that the plan is left in the dust, but I feel that the habits are becoming more firmly ingrained. It's nice to look forward to going to the gym, for instance--to see it as an opportunity to let out the stress of the day, to enjoy some music while feeling myself getting healthier, stronger, more in shape. It's nice to try on clothes at  variety of stores, knowing that they may well fit me--and knowing that if they don't, my life won't end. (Ask my mother. Clothes shopping with me used to be a practically hellish experience. 9 times out of 10 I'd be WEEPING in the dressing room. Not even bathing suits. Just shirts. Or pants.) I've bought things in the past couple of weeks from both Lane Bryant & Old Navy--and I'm officially sized out of tops at LB, at least. Pants are still definitely not ready for the "regular" stores yet, but you know what, they're getting there!  DH even commented on how nice I'm looking now that I'm going out and getting new, well-fitting clothes (my JC consultant forbid me to come in to WI this week if I didn't buy new pants), walking more confidently, buying cute shoes.

These shoes, to be precise, which I love so much that I must share them obsessively: http://www.payless.com/Catalog/ProductDetail.aspx?&TLC=Womens&SLC=WomensStory&BLC=WomensPromoCanvas&Width=Regular&ItemCode=64387&LotNumber=066867&Type=Adult&Popularity=354&DescriptiveColor=Multi

I haven't gotten to wear them yet as I'm afraid of rain, but they are SO comfy. I declared that they made my feet feel like Easter eggs, which I felt was a positive.

But cute shoes aside...

I do feel that what I am doing is something sustainable, something I can keep up with. It gives me security and happiness (mostly), and it keeps me from falling into the habits that I was all too prone to when I was younger--the not eating at all, the making myself sick, the misery. I admit it: I can be obsessive when it comes to food. But SparkPeople tracking, combined with Jenny, combined with good, old-fashioned exercise, keeps that away from me, and keeps me a mostly balanced person who flips out FAR less often after eating something. I'm starting to keep the mentality of, "You ate it, it's over, move on. Learn from it and don't eat five more because you 'already screwed up'. Doesn't help."

Again--mostly. Don't think you're totally free of the chance that I might have a full-out blog meltdown. Gotta keep you on your toes, right?

Best, best, BEST to everyone--enjoy the weekend & hopefully some good weather wherever you may be! :)

determined to triumph--can that be a mood?

Well, this week did show a bit of a gain--up 0.4. I could say I was surprised, but I'll be honest--I'm not. It wasn't the being on vacation that did me in, either, I don't think. I had...rather conveniently forgotten just how OFF plan Saturday was, this week, and I definitely did not exercise enough to make that OK. (Compared to what I used to eat, perhaps, but not what I eat now, and not how I know I need to eat now.) Went to breakfast with a friend of ours--then had pizza with other friends for dinner. The sodium ALONE is far beyond what I need, to say nothing of things like fat, carbs, calories, etc. To do those things now and then--well, sure. In fact, I look forward to them! Good times with good friends, and good food.

But you know what? I compromised what I had planned. I had sat down, the night before, and looked at the menu for dinner with friends for the restaurant I thought we would eat at. I planned to eat a grilled chicken sandwich with roasted red peppers, and stick with water and maybe splurge on one soda while we gamed (we were going to play Risk), knowing that I would even have room to fit in a snack or treat of some kind. Well, we got there, and my friends said, well we were thinking pizza instead? Now I KNOW that my original choice was healthier. I know that it would fit my plan better. I know that it would make me more satisfied more quickly, and that pizza--Papa John's pizza, no less, not even anything special--is something that almost ALWAYS results in me feeling unpleasant the next day. But rather than saying no, or suggesting a compromise--I went along with it. Now, I went with thin crust, and plain cheese (actually veggies would have been better), but I know I ate too much. 3 pieces is 3 pieces even if two of them ARE small. And pairing that with some regular Coke as well as Triscuits?

So naturally, the response should be, let's get lots of good exercise this week! I like to go to the gym 3 times a week, and definitely the day before weighing in. Went Sunday and Tuesday, as mentioned, burned good high numbers, really felt great. But then Tuesday, I fouled up again. Not with food--that, actually, was quite good all week. No, with something just as important: sleep. We stayed up far too late grading, and got only 4 hours of sleep all told. So when last night rolled around--adding to that was the fact that I'm just coming off of a cold--we elected not to go to the gym. Health-wise and sleep-wise, yes, that was a good choice. But weight wise? I know it wasn't. I knew that I needed every minute of my workouts this week if I wanted to see the kinds of results that I like, the kind of results I need--and I skipped the gym.

So am I disappointed and frustrated to see a gain? Yes. But I am not going to claim that I "don't deserve it" (I HAVE had those gains before, and those are miserable)--I know that the way I ate and exercised this week showed up on the scale.

But there's nowhere to go but forward. Nothing to do but do better this week. As I've read from so many of you, this is not a "diet," this is not some temporary thing, this is a lifestyle. And there will always be weeks with bad food and weeks without enough exercise, and I know enough to keep those two weeks separate things if I want to be successful, if I want to achieve the healthy, strong body that I know I deserve. I need to remind myself of weigh-ins like this when I start to get complacent, or start to think, "I can definitely skip the gym and still lose." No, I can't. I'm not on The Biggest Loser where all I do during the day is work out, I'm in a job that doesn't require  lot of physical activity, so I need the gym. And I can't start to think, "Oh, well, I can go ahead and eat this, it'll balance out," whenever I come across something that looks good. Come on. Like I said last time--I'm a grown up now, and as Franma commented, grown-ups are in control of what they eat. Doesn't mean it's never unhealthy, but it DOES mean that it's informed decision-making.

Plus, I talked with my JCC tonight about SPECIFIC goals, goals with deadlines, not just my goal weight which sits somewhere in the difference. And, unsurprisingly, voicing these goals to her made me fired up for them, especially when she told me that they were not only attainable, but that I was already on the way toward them if I kept up the hard work.

So that's my mood, friends. I am DETERMINED to triumph. I am DETERMINED to be happy and healthy--not perfect, but strong and proud of who I am and the decisions I make. I am DETERMINED to reach my goals, and now I have my eyes set firmly on the things that I want--and yes, I am DETERMINED to get there!

need a break AFTER break

So do most, I suspect.

Well, here I am, due to get right back into the swing of "everyday life" tomorrow. Please note that I didn't say "ready to," as I am not. I am being a downright baby about this. Temper tantrum to follow. I'm trying to remind myself that there are only 36 days left till the term is over...but that does, of course, mean that I have to actually prepare & work for those days.

Happy thoughts now, happy thoughts.

How was the vacation, you ask?

It was lovely in most ways, frustrating in others but not anything really terrible. We really only had one day of nice weather--the day we arrived, when it was about 70 degrees when we landed. (A side note--DH's sister had also come to spend the weekend, as we hadn't seen her since our wedding last summer.) As soon as we hopped out of the car to go for a quick grocery shop with his mom, she asked if we had lost weight. (Never mind that my pants were, as ever, doing the dangerous drag, in which I step ON them more often than not.) And we said yes, and she was full of compliments for both of us--which, don't get me wrong, I always love, but I know it meant a lot to DH too :) Actually, all of his family commented on it at some point over the visit, which was nice!

The rest of the time there, though fun, was more packed than we'd like. Living in Boston means we're far from both of our families, so our visits home tend to be frantic affairs--everyone wants a little bit of our time, plus we're looking at the trip as a chance to get away from our usual routine (which means we'd like things like sleeping in, time to sit and read...). This time was no exception, as several of DH's friends  had requested we hang out, which would have been easier if a variety of other events hadn't gotten booked for us before we knew it! Plus--and this was truly incredible--it hadn't snowed there in 2 years, and yet it snowed Monday. Now, don't get me wrong, we're New England now, so to us the 3 inches or so were no more than a mild dusting, but the rest of the area disagreed! This meant that our last full day there--in which we had intended to go to a favorite restaurant and hunt around Target for some ankle weights--wasn't possible.

And how was the food/exercise, I hear you saying? Well...it was, I'd say, a 60/40 split of good to bad. We drank FAR less soda than usual--none of that "well it's in the house so let's have a glass or two," and watched portions. My rings were still sliding on and off comfortably, so I know the sodium wasn't too high. That said, there were a few indulgences that I know I could have, and perhaps should have, said no to--but, I am proud to say, that I owned what I did. I wanted a cookie and I had a cookie, because I am a grown-up. Did I know that it wasn't the responsible choice? Oh, I did. But for my money, 60% is a pretty respectible improvement over previous visits, where I don't even think I could claim 50%.

Exercise--well, walking around the giant Walmart is actually a bit of a workout! In terms of real exercise, though, I finally gave into my fangirl ways and bought one of the Dancing with the Stars DVDs. (I have a truly embarrassing crush on Maksim, with his accent and his hips.) And, on that snowed-in Monday as his parents took a nap, we bravely popped it in and danced our hearts out for 40 minutes! It was actually a blast, and I could definitely see it being a great workout. Problem is, in our place here, we literally have no room--hence why we joined the gym. But that DVD will definitely make more appearances when we have the room to make dancing a workout--along with our much beloved Billy Blanks tae bo DVDs, which is the way we started working out a couple of years ago. Oh Billy Blanks, your squats were the bane of my existence, but I loved them so. I miss you.


Since being back, I've felt pretty much on track. I did elect to skip weigh-in last week, because I knew I would see (at best) staying the same, or at worst, a gain. And a gain, however small, might have set me off in a way that I wasn't particularly interested in. So I elected, instead, to hit the gym both Wednesday night AND my usual WI day (Thursday), and went again today. I'll make 2 more trips before my WI this week, and that, coupled with plenty of water (and cranberry juice) and continual calorie tracking should put me right back on the path I'm trying to stick to.

Oh! Another NSV for me--this past week, DH & I went out to do a little bit of clothes shopping, since we have a conference next week and nothing makes me feel better than a nice new outfit to present in. (The pics from last year--wow, those were a wakeup call. How the heck did someone call my shirt "slimming?" I look like a balloon!) Beforehand, though, we made a stop at Old Navy--and, though they were definitely not "wear out in public" yet (I don't like jeans that fit too tight at this point--I feel like a squeezed sausage), I fit into Old Navy jeans! Non-Lane Bryant jeans! I did a little dance in the dressing room.

Further NSV--when we did go to LB, for me to get a dress, it was a full 2 sizes down from what I was wearing at the start of last fall. It's very simple and professional, black, but DH loved it at first sight. And I really love it too! So now I get to present at my conference next weekend with my hair cut/colored, a new dress, and feeling healthy & confident. Now all I need is another good WI this week to finish the deal!

Good luck this week, all! I'll be reading (and writing) alongside you, cheering you on, and thinking lots of good, healthy thoughts!

full-body celebrations, or how to amaze a JCC

I have always been a really emotional, touchy-feely lovey-dovey type of person. I try to at least put another layer over it, but my heart's pretty firmly on my sleeve. Well, once I get to know people, at least. I'm shy at first.

But the point of all of this is, when I feel something, I tend to react to it with my whole body. If I'm happy, I'm usually smiling and bouncing; if I'm nervous, my face is tight and I'm jittery; and so on and so forth through infinity. So when I want to celebrate, I like to do it full out. Whether it's a small dance in my chair at work or a great big arms thrown around you bear hug, it's just how I am.

The FURTHER point of all of this?

Tonight's weigh-in was cause for a 100% full body celebration:

DOWN 4.6!!!!

I mean, that's freakin' TBL territory!

I may have squealed. And then I may have jumped up and down when I got off the scale. And then I may have squealed again.

Now, I'm not insane enough to think that I'll repeat this kind of number next week, or with any kind of regularity. And I know that a good bit of that is a combination of the water weight post-TOM, along with a week of good eating and good exercise. But...seeing 240.0 on the scale...I nearly cried. All I had wanted was to weigh 241 by the end of February, because that would mean 35 pounds. And I've SURPASSED that. I could not have asked for better motivation before spring break--this makes me all the more determined to bring our Billy Blanks DVDs, skip the soda, and watch the late-night snacking.

I mean, I admit it: I'm not a big believer in the whole "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" concept. I mean, food isn't the be-all and end-all of my days, but I mean, there are DEFINITELY things, for me, that taste pretty damn fantastic, that I'd never want to give up. But these are things that also involve family, friends, memories, and happiness--the kind of things that are special treats. Thus, DH & I have resolved, in going to VA this weekend, to limit our "splurges" to things that are UNIQUE. For instance, there's a pizza place there that's his favorite since he was little; we'll probably have a slice for dinner tomorrow, since it's meatless Friday. But McDonald's fries, something we've definitely gone and eaten for no good reason while down there before? We can get those ANYWHERE, at almost any time. So why eat those calories?

My goal for this week? Lose at least 0.1--because I want to be in the 230's definitively. I take it 10 pounds at a time--so I'm eager to get to this next 10! MORE than 0.1 would be, of course, wonderful, but I'm not going to get the same kind of gym time so I'm trying to be fair to myself. Wednesday's "last chance workout" promises to be epic.

Wish me luck this weekend--I'm going to be Internet-less, but I am going to catch up with all of you when I get back & look forward to hearing more inspiration! Y'all keep me absolutely inspired--just reading about your workouts, your OP (and even non-OP) days, your successes and struggles--you GET it, you all GET it, and that means the whole world and then some. You're all fantastic, beautiful, and strong, and I applaud each and every one of you for the work you're doing!

keep on keepin' on

That's me :)

It's been a good week so far, I'm thinking. Two gym trips thus far & another one tomorrow--and on Monday, I broke a new personal record (760 calories burned on the ArcTrainer!)! I always feel really good after going to the gym, and even better when I know I've burned a good amount. I know the machines don't always measure completely accurately & all, but still. It's a moment of triumph!

Tip: You know what makes a workout turn into an all-out sprint? Have "Wizards in Winter" come up on your IPod out of nowhere. For reference:


Talk about setting a hell of a pace! But I enjoy when it does happen. Likewise, "Gonna Fly Now." DH thinks it's a little funny that he can tell when that song comes on, because I start making little unconscious punching motions. One of my personal goals is to run up the Rocky stairs. And I mean run it, like he does. That's how I'll know my fitness is improved!

Food & such have been...90% good. Sunday was a bit of a splurge, as DH & I went to dinner with a friend of ours at a place called Fire & Ice. I probably ate a bit too much, but it's all good, healthy food (basically you fill a bowl with veggies, meat, etc, and then they stir-fry it for you), so I didn't feel too badly. Plus it was a walk-filled day. It's a really delicious place, but we try to limit it to once every couple of months to keep it a "treat."

And then Sunday night was the Oscars. Where I didn't over-indulge on anything, because I was too busy trying to keep my jaw from hanging open. I am a fool, an absolute FOOL, for Hugh Jackman, especially when he sings/dances, so to watch him host...and sing...and dance...in a tux...let's just say DH was starting to get a little jealous! I'm a celebrity-crush kind of girl, but Hugh Jackman's been one of my very biggest ones since high school (so 10 years now). The only one longer-term than that? Christian Bale, who I fell for when he was in Little Women when I was in grade school. That's right. I was that girl.

But yes, it's been a good week. I'm just trying to get through & have a successful weigh-in Thursday--because we're going away this weekend. We're going down to visit DH's family & friends for a few days, which will be fun & relaxing if not necessarily good-eating friendly. However, we've committed to good exercise, and though I can't guarantee 100% on-plan eating, I know I can commit to keeping it as healthy as possible.

AND what was fun about tonight was that there was an author event at the BPL (Boston Public Library), free to the public--and it just so happened to be the two authors that DH has loved since childhood, two of the authors who got him interested in medieval lit. (Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman--woman and man, respectively--who write/wrote the Dragonlance series). They were incredibly funny & friendly, very chatty, and he got a pic with them along with some signed books, so he's on Cloud 9. Similar to me after meeting Lance Bass last November, or meeting Stephen King the November before that (I was so far above Cloud 9 that I think I hit 10). It's one of my favorite parts about living in a city--there's all these awesome opportunities that come up constantly. I'll miss that when I leave it, no doubt.

All right--time to watch tonight's TBL (it'll be weird to have it split!) & eat some dinner. But THANK YOU to those who have posted new comments! I look forward to reading your journals, too! :)

tricky tricky