Okay, I admit it...I've sucked the past month.

I've got to admit it.  I failed myself in February.  It all started on Feb 14th, when my husband surprised me with a 4lb box of my favorite chocolates.  Although he knew I was trying to eat right...I have no one to blame for my downward spiral.  I ate 3 chocolates a night, which by the beginning of March had graduated to like 8 chocolates a day.  Not good, not good at all.  I did get in some good exercise during February, including a 6 mile hike.  But was it consistent?  Nope. 

So back to square one.  I will weigh myself tomorrow, no matter how much it will hurt.

Experiment

I used to be a vegetarian, years ago when I was in college.  I wasn't one of those serious ones that wouldn't eat any animal by product.  I just chose not to eat any chicken, beef, turkey, or pork.  I did eat fish.   Back then I was a serious collegiate athlete and by not eating meat, my energy levels were higher.  I felt lighter, and meals didn't make me feel lethargic. 

Years later, I am beginning to remember what that experience felt like.  That experience is probably why I don't eat meat very often even now.  The only time I eat red meat is if I'm craving it (iron deficiency).  Due to the amount of green leafy veggies I've been eating, I doubt that I'll be craving red meat anytime soon.  Chicken...ever since I got married and have cooked chicken for my family, I'm turned off by it.  Crazy huh? 

So, in conclusion, I'm forgoeing(sp?) any meat for awhile.  This isn't a strategy to lose weight because one could still be a fat vegetarian by eating lots of everything else.  I'm simply doing this to see how I feel by cutting the meat out of my diet.  Let's see how this experiment works out :)

Oh and I wanted to mention that my 10 yr old daughter and I had a wonderful moment today.  We went on a nature hike at a local park.  Boy that girl can talk ;)  We walked for more than 2 miles and she even convinced me to take a rougher, unpaved trail.  She's such a great kid and I'm hoping that by us walking together more often that we'll remain close to one another and that she will enjoy walking/being outdoors like I do!

I've got energy!

Eating healthy gives me lots of energy.  I cleaned most of my house, did lots of laundry, ran errands, and took an hr walk.  I even had the energy to do the dinner dishes, which I usually leave until morning because I'm so tired. 

Hopefully I'll sleep well tonight...I should after that long walk!

Hit my 1st Goal!

Woohooo!  I had a big week!  I loss an amazing almost 7 lbs...goodnes gracious!  I think alot of it was my low carb choices and seriously watching my portions.  I know that in subsequent weeks I'll probably stall, if not gain a lb or two.  But, I'm taking the victories as they come!

So yes, sticking with my reward system, I took myself to a local nail shop & got myself a beautiful manicure. Usually I prefer clear on my nails...but this time, I decided to splurge with a pretty neutral color...Ice Mocha. 

Boy, I'm going to make myself remember this feeling the next time I run into a tough, tempting, moment!

Why do I feel so yucky?

Ugh!  I've been dragging for the past few days.  For some reason, I just feel blah & tired.  Yesterday, I practically forced myself to go out and begin digging my garden beds.  I did feel like I had more energy after, but very soon I started to feel tired again.  Today, same thing.  Now, I will say that I haven't slept the number of hours that I know that my body needs.  So I'm making this post a short one, so that I can get in the bed.  We'll see if tomorrow is physically better for me.

Food wise, I've done pretty dang good if I must say so myself.  I've kept to watching my portions, drinking more water, and eating healty stuff.  Oh & I just love that WW commercial where women talk about being an "AFTER"...

That's going to be me.  I'm going to be an "After losing 100 lbs" !!!!!

Rewards

I've been thinking of ways to reward myself when I reach certain weight loss goals.  This was harder than I thought it would be.  Isn't it interesting how difficult it is to be good to ourselves sometimes?  Anyhow, this is what I came up with:

Rewards

10 lbs = Manicure

20 lbs = $25 Bath & Body Trip

30 lbs = Visit to hair salon

40 lbs = Manicure/Pedicure

50 lbs = New bathing suit

60 lbs = Date w/hubby

70 lbs = New walking equipment

80 lbs = Gold necklace

90 lbs = New family portrait

100 lbs = $1000 shopping spree

Old habits die hard

Today was just okay.  I didn't eat as well as I would have liked.  In an effort to see where I went wrong, I'm going to post what I ate today.  Breakfast:  banana, cappucino, bowl of kashi cinnamon shredded wheat (delicious & healthy)

Lunch: Campbell's low sodium chicken gumbo soup (pretty tasty) & about 6 lowfat saltenes

Afternoon snack:  The whole popped bag of 94% Orville Redenbachers Kernel corn (This is where I went wrong.  I should have seperated the proper portion, and instead poured the whole thing in a bowl...next thing I know it was gone. ) And another cup of cappucino.

Even worst, my little ones came home from school and sat next to me eating the plain Goldfish crackers.  And I took two very big handfuls when I wasn't even hungry.  I've got to be more conscious of my habits.

Dinner:  WW frozen entree

Dessert: Proper portion of yogurt covered raisins 

Water: 4-5 glasses

Looking this over, things aren't as bad as I thought they were.  But it's the eating without realizing I'm not even hungry that bugs me.  Eatting is such a habit.  I've got to figure a way to be more conscientious of my choices particularly in the afternoon.

Busy Day Ahead

I have a pretty busy day ahead of me and probably won't get back home until late tonight.  So I thought I would put my entry in now.  I just got back from weighing myself at the grocery store and yep, I'm down about 3 1/2 lbs.  Yippeee!  I'm happy to see that I am almost out of the 270's!  I'm also keeping track of my blood pressure...It was 133/76.  Top number is a little high for me, bottom number is fine.

I did my exercise of 15 minute stair climbing, and 15 minute low impact aerobics and I'm feeling pretty good.  I have to go out to eat tonight due to a banquet for my husband's job.  I'm a little nervous about it, because it means I have to put aside that little voice that says, "It's a special occasion so indulge yourself".  And instead I have to change my thinking into, "Proper Portions". 

Since it's hard to gauge the calorie content when eating at banquets, I'm going to play it safe and skip lunch today....I'll still have my carrot/celery snack.  I don't want to over consume, and I don't want to feel like I can't have a couple of bites of the dessert.  (I LOVE DESSERT).  So my plan for this evening is to have 1 cocktail, eat all of my veggies first, a few bites of chicken (not a big meat lover), and 1/2 of my dessert.

Gotta love having a plan! 

A Good Day

Today it was absolutely a beautiful day here in South Texas.  Sun was shining, it was warm, and it just seemed like Spring was right around the corner.  

It was also a beautiful day because I exercised this morning, drank lots of water, and watched my portions.  And I found my scale...finally!  I weighed myself and this scale says I'm exactly 6.8 lbs lighter than that scale at the grocery store.  I'm not sure if that's just the difference in scales, or if I've lost a bit.  So tomorrow, I'm going to weigh myself on the store scale to gauge the difference between the scales.  Just a note regarding the exercise.  I live in a 2 story home, and I hate the stairs.  The idea of walking up those stairs just kills me, because my breathing is labored, my legs hurt, and my knees creak.  So, today I decided that I was going to overcome my hatred of stairs by climbing those stairs for 15 minutes straight.  Boy, it was much harder than I thought it would be.  My legs felt like jello!  But I'm happy to say that I did not give up and I did the full 15 minutes!  Now climbing the stairs to put the kids stuff away isn't difficult at all now.

Something I realized today...I was sitting on the couch, thinking about eating something, when I got this feeling of deprivation.  That since I couldn't just get up, grab whatever, and eat it.  And it made me feel sad and for a second there I questioned whether eating differently was what I wanted to continue doing.  Then, a lightbulb went off, and I began to realize the deprivation my body, mind, and spirit goes through when I choose to eat the wrong foods, or choose to eat the incorrect portion.  And I rationally came to the conclusion that the momentary pleasure that comes from doing the wrong thing deprives me of having a healthy body, mind and spirit. 

The food is no longer worth it to me.  I no longer want to continue down this deprivation path.

Stress

I'm under a lot of stress all of a sudden.  But, I'm happy to say that I haven't succumbed to eating because of it.  Matter of fact, the stress seems to be an appetite suppressant because yesterday, I had to remind myself to eat.  I did eat the way I was supposed to, and am proud that I didn't go out and treat myself to some kind of sweet just because of the current circumstances of my life.

Without going into too much detail...my husband is an active duty soldier, and as he gets closer to the retirement magic number of 20 yrs, things are just becoming less and less certain.  Being the Type A person that I am, a future filled with question marks is causing me a great amount of anxiety, which he doesn't seem to understand about me. 

So, I'll be doing a whole lot of praying about our situation.  I need to trust that God has a plan for us, and that our steps are ordered.  This year will be a big one for us, and God is going to make it a positive one!