So I am back again with my tail between my legs. I just celebrated my 26th birthday, started college again as a non-traditional student, bought myself my first new car, and feel as if I have a lot to celebrate. However, in the meantime i stopped loosing the weight and regained the 20lbs lost. I feel more out of shape now then even and it feels bad.
Food, the comfort bad for me food is my crutch when emotional, under stress, celebration, and so on. My relationship with food needs to change! I have a co-worker that is extremely in shape and she eats the same thing every day. I do believe she splurges big at Golden Coral every Friday. I wonder what she eats for breakfast and/or dinner during the week? Hmmm...... come to think of it my boss eats pretty much the same thing every day too!
Food is to fuel our bodies - how did food become some more than that?
Working out - working out would feel so good if I could just find the time. I know if sounds like and excuse and maybe it is but I work full time, go to school full time, and have a partner with a child. It feels so impossible!
I am back again but I am not sure what I am capable of..........
I can not get over teh 20lbs hump - will boxing help?
I can not get over this 20lb. hump! Seiously! I am only 25 so it shouldn't be this hard! What is going on! I am frustrated. Today I am meeting friend who invited me to join her for boxing. I'VE NEVER BOXED BEFORE! According to her it will kick my butt and will surely help me loose some more weight. I hope so. I hope I do not become the laugh of the gym though. I am a little nervous and the gym is out of the way but it is cheap and I'LL BE WITH W A FRIEND. We will box and lift weights. This has to be a good thing! The plan is to do it 2 days a week. I wish it could be at least 1 more, however I have to many other duties and this is going to take a big chunck of my time since it is so far out the way.
I just beed to drop AT LEAST 20 more by June! I can DO IT, right?
I had so many good intentions this week but it just didn't work out as planned. I started off so good on Monday. I walked a lot and I made a fantastic low cal meal for the family. However, everything went down hill on Tuesday. We had a pizza picnic in the park. I did so some playing and walking. On Wednesday I ran my women's group which lead to diner out again!! On Thursday after work I went directly to a anti-violence protest in support of the GLBT community (2 young men were recently beat up for being gay) which lead to another dinner out!! I did not not make the best choices at these places either. Even my portion control was off!
So, on Friday I spent the day attempting to make up for a week of badness and a 3 lbs weight gain! I ate very healthy small portions on Friday and will attempt to maintain that behavior all weekend. No room for treats and/or error right now. I have been pretty cranky with everyone because I am so disappointed with myself. My hopes were so high for this week. I was totally ready to be in the 230's. In all honesty, I wanted to be in the 199-200 by the second week of June. That is normally when I reconnect with a lot of people that I do not see all year round. Hearing how great you look over and over again is the best ego boost and motivator to continue a weight loss journey.
This week is going to be a big loosing week for me. I plan to atleast hit the 20lbs lost mark and would like to be in the 230's! I'm sure this will happen if I stay focused this week and get some physical activity into my life!
I am only 2 lbs. away from loosing an offical 20. I am excited! Last week I was very sick which prevented me from doing much, and this week was recovery/catch up week. Therefore, I still haven't been doing any physical activity! Just imagine how well things would be going if I could get off my but and start woking out?!
Today was a new day! I decided I would not let the weekend downward spiral of GS cookies, fench fries, ice cream, and long islands keep me down. I started fresh this morning and know I will stay on track for the most part. We all will and need to let loose every once in awhile! Trust me, I did let loose this weekend! Luckily, as I stood on the scale this morning the damage did not seem too horrible. That would have hurt!
I am back on track and hopefully stronger than ever before! Thank you all for the motivational comments.
I am loosing it and by "it" I do not mean weight! I am slowly inviting bad habits back into my life one by one. Maybe it is just not coming off fast enough to keep me motivated? I assume that is no ones fault but my own, right? I am not a lazy person, but I can not get myself to workout! WHY? Recently, I have been frustrated with myself for not working out and that is when I munch on a 1/2 a box of girl scout cookies!
The guilt - the frustration - and all of the reasons to just give up are starting to take over my mind.
I need a way out of this rut!!! I need to get myself in the gym. I have never been one to workout at home. Is this investment really worth my money?
Obviously, I have not had much time to write but I wanted to say I AM STILL LOOSING! I am not loosing as fast as I would like BUT WHO IS? Since January 5th I have lost a total of 15 LBS. I still have a lot of weight to go but at least I have stuck with it this far, right?
I am so frustrated. As I have said before this life style change is not just for me but for my family as well. Especially for my seven year old daughter, or shall I say my partner's daughter that currently weighs 93 lbs. I am fed up. The lil' one went with my partner's ex to spend the night last night. She was taken out for dinner an had high cal Mexican food and regular soda. She was taken out to the movies and had popcorn, sour gummy worms, and an icee. Before she came home this morning she was taken to McD's for a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit(adult size) and a medium orange juice. This woman also sent her home with even more not so good for you goodies. It is so frustrating! I am aware that Jadyn is a child and she is going to want treats but the amount of junk she had in such a short amount of time is ridiculous! My partner refuses to say anything to her because her ex lacks common sense and the ability to communicate. It makes me feel like all the effort I have been making to make healthy dinners, educating everyone on portion control, and everything else has been for nothing! I do not want to let my partners choices for herself and Jadyn influence me, however, it just makes me so frustrated. I just need to stay focused and keep on trying to educate them and set a good example.
I am hoping next week I can start working out. Due to my partners accident I can not really afford that Y membership. We just found out that she will not be getting paid for her time off! Maybe my old biggest looser DVD will do the trick?
Each nigh someone new has delivered dinner to our house. On the most part it has been soups and breads. Also, each and every person has brought cookies! This has been very kind and helpful in many ways, but my ability to resist is getting more difficult. The stress of everything is getting to me and the breads and cookies are looking so damn good. So.... tonight I slipped and had that extra piece of homemade bread (with butter) and one very good chocolate chip cookie. It was good, however, it did not take much time for guilt to set in. Therefore, that is why I am blogging now. I need a moment to center myself - as someone recently commented, "Every moment is a new moment" therefore, I am not going to let this slip in good judgement get to me. So, there you have it! I had a cookie, a very good cookie. It could have been worse, right?
