Ok, lots of whining on this one. Feel free to skip.
Ok, today’s entry is gonna be a bit of a hard for me because the news has not sunk in yet.
I have figured out why I am suddenly gaining, am not feeling well, and so hungry all the time. I’m pregnant. I don’t even know what to think right now. We weren’t planning on having anymore kids, and we have just been starting to enjoy the freedom of having older children who can be left on their own for short periods of time. What am I going to do??
I have been crying since I found out, and can’t believe that it is true.
I know it sounds like this is a bad thing…but it is not. I have wanted another baby for so long, but my husband doesn’t want anymore kids. So over the years after a lot of crying and arguing, I finally accepted the fact that I would never have another baby. I had finally found peace with the idea of that. This just turns my whole world upside down.
I have finally got my shit together and am doing right for me, and now this to deal with. How do I maintain my weight loss and have a healthy pregnancy? I am so scared.
I haven’t told anyone yet, not even my husband. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how he will react. I am hoping he will be ok about (I don’t think he would ever really be “happy” about it), I think worst case scenario would be anger. Not that he would ever hurt me, but blame me YES.
I am so lost right now. I have been walking around with a positive pregnancy test in my pocket all day, and I keep looking at it thinking it can’t be real…must be defective. I have a second one that I will take when I am ready to make sure.
For now I am just going to sit in my living room and cry the rest of the day away (after picking up some prenatal vitamins). I will have to walk in to the doctors to get a referral to an ob/gyn, since my doctor does not have an open appointment until June 3. Crazy!
Anyway, thanks for listening to me whine. Take care of yourselves!