Eh, ok, I forgot to blog yesterday! Anyway, I am back. I feel much better. I have a bit of a cold, but my fiance put the humidifier in the bedroom for me last night. I have been pumping the airborne in to my system and exercising. I feel great. I am still waking up with some kick ass headaches everymorning. I have come to the conclusion that it must be caffiene withdrawl. I say this because as soon as I have my delicious cup o' joe in the morning, I am feeling much better. So, I am a coffee JUNKY!!! It could be worse I suppose!

Gotta go get myself dressed. Going to the gym while my little one goes of to kindergarten. My 13 year old is home sick, so I'll be stuck in the house the rest of the day probably.

I'll check in later.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Well, I knew it was coming. I felt it coming on last night. I drank some Airborne before I went to bed. I woke up with boogers in my nose and a headache the size of my butt! My neck hurts, my back hurts. Ick! I did manage to get to the gym for a bit last night. Met Mom there. Didn't do a great workout. Did about 25 minutes on the treadmill at 3.5 on a 3 incline. Did a bit of strength training. (Not much) Then, did the incline bike for about 15 minutes. But, I am glad I went.

I am about to get dressed. Yeah, I'll put my workout clothes on and my sneakers. I have to take Butchie out to the bus stop. All my neighbors belong to the same gym., I go with one who has a "bring a guest membership." If she isn't planning to go, I will go to my own gym. I still have a membership there, so I have to use that until it runs out, then I will join the other one. Anyway, I have tanning at my gym, so that is a plus, and sometimes enough to get my fat butt in the door.

I'm not feeling like doing much of anything other than crawling back into bed and sleeping or maybe laying on the couch and watching a movie, but that is not what I am going to do.

Ok, I'll check in later!

I come from a traditional PA Dutch family, where home is where the food is. Our foods have seasons of their own. We plan our lives according to meals! We couldn't possibly get together without planning an extensive menu. Our traditions revolve around foods and recipes. This has been my life for 30 years......and I like it. I love everything about it. I love the seasons!

I love Christmas cookies! I love when my mom comes over and we put our favorite Christmas music on. Years ago we did this at her house, and before that it was at my grandmother's house. We went from Willie Nelson and Alvin and The Chipmunk records to Transiberian Orchestra on MP3. The sounds of the holiday waft through the house stirring the scent of chocolate from the biscotti with the smell of the walnuts in the kiffles, and the aroma of rasins and cinnamon, nutmeg, orange zest, mmmmmmmmmmm.........see what I mean. These sounds and fragrances fill the air around me and bring a moment of nostalgia, the sights of me, Grandmom and Mom in the kitchen. We all wear our aprons, and stand around measuring, mixing, rolling, cutting, filling, decorating, baking and of course tasting these wonderful morsels of comfort and happiness!

I feel so happy about all this, but every year, when I see my relatives, they get bigger and bigger. At 190 pounds, I may be one of the smallest members of my extended family. I am 30 years old this year, and can't help to notice these things. I have struggled with my weight on and off as a child, but was never really heavy until after my son was born over 10 years ago. I never got down to my pre-pregnancy weight, at this point it seems completely impossible that will ever happen. However, all these years, I have never felt like I looked "that bad." But, as I get older, I just feel like my self esteem is in the dumps. I feel like I don't look good anymore. I don't look sexy anymore. I can't find clothes that look nice on me. I am tired of wearing the same stuff over and over, and I do not want to be morbidly obese by the time I am 40!

Now, usually at this point of the year, I would give up and give in and say "after the holidays I am going to lose weight, get healthy, start exercising...etc." And I would put it off and put it off, until before you know it it is Christmas Cookie Season again!

So, this year, I am taking a different approach. I am accountable for what I do. I am accountable for what I eat. I am accountable for the PA Dutch girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, a pretty smile, a big butt, jiggly thighs and lunch lady arms in the mirror! I am going to watch what I do, eat, wear and how I act. I am taking some phentermine prescribed by my doctor to help me along the way. Maybe I will lose some weight, maybe I will have a cookie or two over the holidays, maybe I will maintain the weight I am now.....all I know is I WILL NOT GAIN MY USUAL 10 EXTRA "WINTER POUNDS IN 2008!"