What a terrible day...

I have just endured four days of binge eating, depression and emotional distress.  So today when I got up I decided to try to get a grip on all of that.  I weighed myself at the gym, knowing that seeing the damage I have done in the past few days will motivate me to get back on track.  I was up 3lbs.  I think the last time I weighed myself was last Thursday so that is 3lbs in less than a week.  So that did motivate me to get a good work out in.  Then I decided that I would not allow myself to snack at work today.  I would not give in to the dried fruit in the kitchen or the candy in the candy jar.  I would stick within my points and journal everything.  When I go to my second job (Starbucks) tonight, I will not TOUCH the pastries. 

It was a good plan and I thought I would stick with it.  Then I was turning out of my driveway and side-swiped a street sign.  I heard a crunch so I knew my car didn't look good.  It is not terrible but still not good.  Definitely want to get it fixed.  But no money to do that.  I really think that I was just too darn distracted with all that is going on in my life.  I mean, the sign is too close to my driveway, and I have a very narrow driveway so you do have to make a pretty tight turn coming out of there, but if I had been paying a little more attention it would not have happened.  I have lived there long enough to know about the sign. 

Then I stop at Wal-Mart to get a few things and I am wandering around aimlessly.  Can't remember what I was there for.  Finally remember a few things I needed and go look for those items, but decide that I don't feel like dealing with it now so I leave with nothing.  Then I get to work and it is one urgent project after another.  Not hungry at all but had about 4pts worth of candy.  Then I felt guilty about not sticking to my promise to myself.  So I posted a message to the Weight Watchers online message board, confessing to the 4pts in candy, and asking people to post healthier things that I COULD have spent those points on.  I started by saying "my favorite bean salad; the soup I packed for lunch; or a plain fat free yogurt with fresh fruit - all 4pts or less."  I figured that seeing that there were so many more satisfying choices would help me to stay away from the candy for the rest of the day.  So far I have not touched the candy but I have gotten into the dried fruit.  I still had points to spend today so I journaled the fruit. 

I still feel down though.  I just want to go home and crawl into bed, but I have to work at my second job tonight.  Just the thought of 7 more hours of work today makes me even more depressed...