Like an Alcoholic at a Bar
This week sucks.
Last weekend (Memorial Day weekend) I went to visit my sister in Pennsylvania. I went to a WW center there and according to their scale I was down 4lbs. That makes me almost 4lbs below my goal weight. Therefore, I was supposed to add 2pts/day this week. So, what do I do? I have fun in Pennsylvania. We go out to eat on Saturday night and to a BBQ on Sunday. I was still pretty careful - more so than I ever would have been in the past - but I didn't care quite as much about how the points were adding up. I was proud that I only ate 1/2 of the burger on Saturday night and I got salad instead of fries. But I was still way over my points that day. Then Sunday. Did I really, really need to sample all of the desserts? Wouldn't just one of the low fat, 3pt mini cheesecakes I brought have been enough? I only had a small amount of food there but the desserts got me. What is with my sweet tooth? I used to eat sweets before but not like this. Is it my way of rebelling against eating healthier? So, needless to say, this weekend I used up the extra points for the week, all of my 35 flex, and then some. And it didn't stop there either. I also went over by 4pts on Monday. What the @*!&^# is wrong with me? I figure I have to gain 4lbs so I go crazy on sweets? NOT the way to do it at all. I am very disappointed with myself. I just added it all up and I figure I am 13pts over for this week already.
And that is just the beginning. I knew this week was going to be tough because even once I got through the long weekend there were two more "events" coming up: (1) a minor league baseball game on Tuesday and (2) dinner out on Thursday. I thought maybe I would save some of my flex points for those days but of course that did not happen. So last night I go to the ball game. During the day, I made the decision to not save too many points for the game because I didn't want to spend a lot of money on food there and I did not want to eat what I knew would be unhealthy food at the game. So I had saved 6pts. Then I had a couple of snacks and ended up arriving at the game with just 4pts left. Well, this was my first time at this ballpark so I did not really know what to expect. When I got there...I was overcome. I felt like an alcoholic at a bar. The food options were plentiful, not exactly low fat, and it all looked so good. It was all stuff that I like - or used to like before WW I should say. How depressing. I immediately realized that the most I could get away with would be a plain pretzel. I really wasn't hungry but all that food everywhere was killing me. Then my friend sits down and she has a hot dog and cheese fries. This is the girl I go to the gym with too! What the hell?!?! She runs, so I guess she figures that she must burn it all off. Then later she and my other friend, who works at WW, decide they want ice cream. It is very very difficult for me to say "no" to ice cream. Especially soft serve. There were Carvel booths at the ballpark. Soft serve vanilla ice cream in a waffle cone. Heck yeah I want that. The WW employee leans over and says "waffle cone?" But I didn't do it. They both came back with ice cream and all I could think about was how much more that would put me over my points. So I just told myself that (a) I can get Carvel anytime - there is a store in Norwalk; (b) I am better off not paying ballpark prices for food anyway; and (c) I had enough "fun" food this weekend.
I know I should feel good about surviving yesterday without going over my points. But I don't. The feeling was terrible and depressing.
I know that if I gain this week I can take it off again but the prospect of having to face the scale on Sat. is causing me stress. What if the scale in PA wasn't right to begin with?
I am so stressed out I can hardly concentrate on anything...