I've been spending the last couple of days thinking about WHAT I want to
do as far as a weight loss program. I did Weight Watchers' flex program
a couple of years ago and did pretty well, but the thought of constantly
counting at this point doesn't turn me on at all. Weight Watchers has
another program called CORE that I think I'm going to try. It focuses
more on high quality food and you only "count" the foods that don't fit
into that category. It would still allow for SOME "fun" stuff, but the
vast majority of what I would eat would be healthy.
So that's what I think I'm going to do. The only problem with core is
that it's hard to do if you're traveling. I'm going out-of-town over
the weekend, so I think I'm going to go grocery shopping and stock the
house for success and start core on Sunday. I'm meeting a new personal
trainer tonight and I'm going to a spinning class tomorrow night. I've
only tried spinning once, and it was okay but not something I felt
inclined to try again. However, this is at a different facility and I'm
going with a friend, so I'm hoping it will be a lot more fun.
I'm taking the next couple of days off from work, so I can spend some
time clearing all of the problem food out of the house and looking at
recipes and planning out the next couple of weeks. I'm really excited
to get back on track! I hope everyone's having a wonderful week!
I didn't realize I'd been away so long until I saw the date of my last
post. Yikes! And I'm sorry to say, my time away has not served me
well. I've gained a LOT of weight and I am absolutely determined to get
it back off!
One thing standing in my way was depression. I was diagnosed a couple
of weeks ago and began some medication. Now weight loss seems
challenging, but do-able. Before I started the medication, it seemed
absolutely impossible. As did most things going on in my life.
I have also gotten myself out of a couple of time-demanding groups I was
participating in. I can't handle a demanding job, raise two children,
take care of myself and be overly involved in lots of extracurricular
activity above and beyond those things. So I've gotten real and put my
health at the front of the pack priority-wise.
I joined a new gym and have been working with a trainer, so I feel like
I'm getting back into the swing of things. If I can just handle that
moment when my brain switches into "binge" mode and find some other way
of coping RIGHT THEN, I'll do okay. One thing I can do is post on this
blog or see how my support group is doing. That will help to remind me
how important my health is, how I'm worth the effort and how happy I'll
be when I start really feeling (and looking) better.
So I was doing my monthly self-exam a couple of nights ago and found a couple of very small lumps in one of my "girls". I've seen the doctor and it looks like everything is just fine, but it was kind of a reality check.
Here I am, fretting about pounds and inches and points eaten or not eaten. And the most important thing (which I had apparently forgotten along the way) is the goal of GOOD HEALTH. It doesn't matter how you look if you're sick. And if you aren't giving your body good food and not exercising, you're not going to be healthy for long.
When you're young, you can get away with eating like total crap. But when you hit your forties, that stuff starts catching up with you. It's time for me to start treating my body like the precious thing that it is - if I expect it to perform well and if I expect to feel good, I'd better be fueling my body in such a way to get the results I want.
So I think I've gotten a big reality check - my health is precious and I need to treat it accordingly. More fruit and salad, less chocolate in my future.
I talked to my mom tonight and was complaining about what a slacker I've been. She asked if I'd be interested in getting into a little weight loss contest with HER - whoever loses the most weight by June 1st wins a "prize".
I thought it sounded like absolute fun, so we've decided that whoever wins the most weight by June 1st gets a $50 gift certificate to her store of choice from the "loser". Doesn't that sound like fun? And the best part of it is that it will be motivational and supportive, even while we're "competing" against each other.
She has done this with one of my sisters before and they had the best time (even if they were playing mean jokes on each other like sending each other boxes of candy and nuts - which reminds me, Valentine's Day is just around the corner...hmmm...let the sabotage begin!).
I also talked to my sister (the same one guilty of sending chocolates) about my new heart rate monitor. I've been really questioning the numbers it's been giving me for calories burned during exercise, but she thinks it's probably right. I'm one of those strange truly fit AND fat people - so I may as well enjoy the extra calories I'm getting through exercise while they last, because I won't be burning nearly as many as I slim down.
Anyway, I feel better than I've felt in a long time and really ready to refocus and get this rear into gear! I hope everyone has a great weekend!
I'm still struggling with getting on the ball. I got a post from one of my friends suggesting that I join in on their Biggest Loser challenge, and if it's not too late, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I need some kind of accountability beyond being accountable to myself, because at this point, that's not getting me anywhere.
My sister told me that her family actually weighs in front of each other each week. What do you think about that? There is NO FREAKING WAY I would weigh in front of my husband, but maybe I could do that with one of my friends. It makes the number more real somehow knowing that someone else is looking at it. I'll have to give that some thought.
I hope everyone else is doing better than I am at this point! Take care!
I went into the Target dressing room, because I'm down to one pair of jeans that still fits. You can only wash them so many times in a week! The problem of adding weight back is that you can live in denial for a while - even looking at the scale isn't the smack in the head you might think it would be.
If you want a reality check, people, visit your nearest dressing room.
I realized yesterday that, since Christmas of '05, I have packed on about 3 dress sizes. And 30 pounds. Now, I'm only a couple of pounds heavier than my starting weight here - which shows I've been doing a great job of maintaining. But I don't *want* to maintain. I want to get the fluff off, once and for all. And I'm feeling much more motivated to do so, having checked out my backside and all its accompanying nightmarish rolls in the Target dressing room mirror.
Swimsuit season is just around the corner and I am *not* going to spend yet another summer trying to find a miraclesuit that actually works miracles. "Maintenance Girl" is going to become "Slim Girl". I'm done with the fooling around. Who's with me??!! Let's do it, folks!
So I, like probably 98% of the rest of the country, am determined that THIS will be the year that I'll finally hit my weight goal.
I took the holidays pretty much off and have a bit of a gain to show for it, but the amazing thing is that, no matter how much I may have felt like I've been struggling over the last several months, I've been doing a fantastic job at maintenance. Pretty much the same 5 pounds over and over again. Which should tell me that I *can* control what my weight does - I just have to be dedicated enough now to focus on getting it off.
Controlling work stress is going to be a huge part of it - but knowing now that the end is in sight (even if it's more than a year off) has really put that whole situation into perspective. Come the noon hour tomorrow, no matter what "pressing demands" are coming my way, my rear is hitting the YMCA.
I got a new heart rate monitor for Christmas (a Polar F11). I was using an F4 before receiving my new one and thought it would be similar, but with a few more bells and whistles. Well, in actual use, it is WAY cooler! For one thing, it measures your "OWNINDEX", which is a measure of your fitness level. I rate as "Elite", which makes me want to laugh, because I certainly don't LOOK elite!!! But I remember when I first hooked up with a personal trainer that he told me that cardiovascularly, I could run a marathon. So I guess he was right.
But the REAL beauty of the OWNINDEX is that the calories you burn while working out are based on this number. And, people, I'm burning a TON of calories - WAY more than the F4 was calculating (because it's based on an approximation of the fitness level of a "normal" woman my age and weight). At first, I was pretty tentative about the numbers (as per my "uncertainty" post), but I've done enough research now to be convinced that the number is about as accurate as I'm going to get. So this dieting thing will be a lot easier than it has been, because I'm earning lots more APs than I thought.
I hope all of you are getting a great start to your new year and look forward to catching up with you soon!
Wow - I can't believe it's been this long since I've blogged. It's not really surprising considering how crazy things have been (Christmas, work, more work and even more work).
I made an interesting and rather amazing discovery about myself since I've last written....I don't do well with uncertainty. A case in point - I've been on Weight Watchers (on and off - mostly WAY off) since May of '05. I've always done on-line, except for a brief stint of going to meetings.
When I first started doing the program, my sister was doing it as well. While I was doing it on-line, she was going to meetings and was kind of advising me as I was figuring out the program. She and I both wore pedometers and used them to count our steps. She told me that whenever she clocked 2000 steps on her pedometer (which should be about a mile), she would give herself an activity point. Sounded good to me, so I did the same thing. After a couple of months (and lots of weight loss), I heard from several different sources that I shouldn't be counting my pedometer steps towards activity. Which plunged me into uncertainty - should I count them or not? And IF I count them, HOW should I count them? (Can you tell I'm an accountant?)
Weight Watchers revamped their program very recently and included a step counter. You can plug in your steps and it will calculate your activity points. Lo and behold, I feel like I know what I'm doing again, so I'm completely back on track. Back on track to the point that I've finally slipped below 180 and am feeling really good about it. I just needed to know what to do.
I'm also discovering the same thing about my job (which stinks right now in almost every way). The business isn't doing well, the owners are stressed out and it's hard to say if the company will survive. I feel more than a little obligated to stick it out, because the owners would completely freak if I left. But staying is pretty miserable, too. Well, a little bird told me that the owners are planning to sell the company, but can't do it for another year-and-a-half. But just knowing what is going to happen has made me feel a lot better, even if it means that ultimately I'm out of a job. I can put up with a bad situation for that long, I know it's not forever, so I feel better than I've felt in a long time.
<contented sigh>
I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season!
Okay, so I should have realized that it would be very, very hard to stay on plan over Thanksgiving. And the fact is that I didn't. *sigh*
However, the best thing I can do is climb right back up on that wagon and giddy-yap the horses. I've asked for a Polar F11 heart rate monitor for Christmas from my husband and I feel sure I'll get it. I'm very excited about it! I currently use the F4, which is very nice, but the F11 will tell me a lot more about my fitness level and about how much I'm improving. I think it will motivate me beyond the scale, which can be deceiving.
My kids are already singing "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer", so Christmas is already pretty much underway at our house. And in accordance with the season, I have changed my blog design to reflect Christmas as well. I hope everyone is doing well. I've been a little MIA because I've been so frantic, but I'll be checking in on my friends and seeing what everyone is up to. I hope you all had a wonderful and meaningful Thanksgiving!
The problem of adding weight back is that you can live in denial for a while - even looking at the scale isn't the smack in the head you might think it would be. 
