06/26/2007 15:57
grumble, grumble
weight loss is no easy thing for me. i'm not eating enough, you see. when i diet, i become averse to food. i can't eat anything good, so why bother? that's my thinking. and a few days out of town is usually a great thing because there's fabulous food to be had. only that didn't happen. i mostly existed on cracklin' oat bran, that i'd thoughtfully brought with me. was at a business conference and walked for miles and miles and miles and thought for sure i would have dropped 5 pounds from all the walking and sweating. but no. actually, i did. just haven't kept perfect record of my weight since it popped up two pounds from the earlier 188 i weighed a few weeks ago.
such a struggle. is it worth it? i dunno. never been thin. what's THAT like anyway? maybe it's better than always being the biggest woman in the group. or feeling like a hog when you go into a dressing room to try on new clothes and have to see yourself in those three-way mirrors.
04/26/2007 13:35
dumpy dumps
i am so discouraged with my "diet." i feel like i'm starving almost all the time and i haven't lost much weight at all. Ok i've lost 4.5 pounds in one month. and might have lost more if not for two nights in chattanooga where i ate.... not salads. let's leave it at that.
ian, however, has lost 20 pounds to my almost 5 pounds. it's just not fair that men loose weight so much easier. and he's down in the dumps because he thinks he should be losing faster.
maybe if i didn't eat lean cuisine's so often. it's just easier that way. no worries about counting the calories and fat and all that. but oh so boring all the time.
04/04/2007 18:40
healthy range
while hubby does WW with all his materials, i am not. the food log here doesn't do points, so i'm counting calories. these first few days i restricted my diet, but didn't have a figure in mind.
at diet blog i found a tool that helps you calculate your daily calorie needs.
Maintenance: 1934 Calories/day
Fat Loss Range: 1584 - 1584 Calories/day
that seems like a lot of calories. also found something online that says that you shouldn't drop below 1200 calories per day.
if i've got a few more hundred calories to play with, i may stop wasting my time on frozen diet meals. the ravioli florentine i ate tonight was sour. didn't taste at all good.
in other news hubby reported that he lost 5.6 pounds in the four days that he's dieted. it makes me sick, really. but he also puts them on quickly, too. the last time we did WW together he lost more than 50 pounds in four months.
04/04/2007 10:23
cake gets in my eye
i'm doing well enough on my diet, but wouldn't you know it, last night at knitting we celebrated two birthdays. Lisa's b-day is Friday, and Mary Alice, the shop-owner's daughter, had hers yesterday.
there was cake. two kinds of chocolate. so instead of declining, i took a plate as it was passed to me. one was chocolate cake with chocolate icing in the shape of a kitty cat with butterflies lighting on it. and the other was a round chocolate on chocolate but then there were cherries, or maybe raspberries ( i wasn't sure) on top.
both slices i ate were small. and though the one with fruit was good, neither was to die for.
i do this all the time. i waste calories on food that is no good. if it was the most extraordinary dessert i've ever eaten, then i find ingesting the calories a moot point; i can accept it. but i always regret eating something that is just so-so.
plus there's the fact that i ate those small pieces of cake and really shouldn't have. social/celebratory eating is one of the most important things to me. i love to make food to for others to eat and feel like it's my duty to eat what others bring.
i didn't have a second piece like one or two others did.
today is another day. and there is no possibility of cake on the horizon.
04/03/2007 16:07
cookie crumbled
one of my favorite snacks are vegan cookies by the Alternative Baking Company. almost every favor is tasty. the lemon poppyseed is my new favorite, but they come in snickerdoodle, pumpkin, peanut butter, etc. almost any flavor you can imagine.
but i almost sabotaged myself. my diet. i looked at the nutrition facts on the back of the packaging and saw that the cookie, and it's an over-sized cookie, had 220 calories. no biggie. i ate half. 110 calories seems like a manageable number and is about the same as my other snack, the dole peaches and creme thing.
while glancing at the other numbers on nutrition facts AFTER eating my half a cookie, i realized that there are TWO servings per container. and that the total for the cookie is 440 calories. unbelievable.
so i'm glad that i didn't eat the whole thing. but angry that the nutrition facts were so misleading. guess i'll be more careful about servings sizes from here on out.
and who knew vegan stuff was so bad for you?
i've thought about cutting meat from my diet, but i could never go vegan. love that butter, cheese, eggs, and all dairy way too much. but i can do without most meats.
04/03/2007 12:18
dress for slimness
one of the things i've been told is that i dress so well for my figure, or to camouflage my problem areas, that some people don't think of me as fat or heavy.
surely that has a lot to do with how one is perceived by others. but this morning, wearing a new pair of pants that i bought ages ago but haven't worn because the hem is to long one of my co-workers stopped me. she complimented my pants and told me how wonderful i always look. how unusual. and that i was IT.
it's so nice to have friends, family, and coworkers who make you feel good, even if you're fat. and then there are the invisible co-workers who slip chocolates into your office when you're not there all in the name of Easter or Valentine's Day.
so i have this lovely Dove Truffle Egg staring me down. the only time chocolate is an issue for me is early afternoon, around 2 pm. i hit a slump and need something to perk me up. sometimes chocolate does the trick.
but chocolate is not a problem for me. granted, i don't keep it in the house, mostly because i don't like it, but also to prevent my husband from snacking on it. actually, the other day he told me that i didn't have to hide the mega-sized hershey's bar to keep him from eating it. he has another one, somewhere. anyway, i said "I know," and then explained that i was just helping him.
i find that being the person who shops for groceries really helps when it comes to having trigger foods in the house. we rarely have any kind of potato chips or crackers because i won't buy them. i love salty and crispy. dear husband will eat anything, really.
04/02/2007 09:40
with partner helps
my husband and I are doing our modified WW plan. modified because we are not paying or attending meetings. this has not been a successful way of doing WW in the past, but we hope that it is this time.
going to the meetings was so frustrating, not because of the weigh ins or paying, but because the people working the desk were so incompetent. they couldn't use a calculator and each week dear husband would have to correct their mistakes.
and then our favorite counselor stopped giving classes. so listening to the other speakers, who lacked charisma, vocabulary, and pep, was dead dog boring.
03/30/2007 16:24
happy obesity
my high BMI came as no surprise. but obesity? yeah yeah. i've heard that word before, and it don't describe me. if i don't qualify for any surgical intervention with my "weight problem," then how can i be obese?
here's the ugly truth:
Body mass index (BMI): 32.2
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater
BMI Category: Overweight
