Happy Diet Day

I LOVE days like today. Where even though nothing really happening dietwise I still feel like I am in control and that things are really going to happen.

I have to admit I slacked off a bit on the weekend.. its my problem area :( but I know that I can be OP this week. To be honest sometimes having a high day now and then helps me since it revs my metabolism up a bit. Anyways.. I felt really satisfied and happy with a bowl of rice/beef soup and a english muffin with a little pb for lunch. It was so good. I just need to make sure and get some veggies in for dinner.

I really like ordering in food and making it last over 2-3 days. Portions here are so big I can't believe I ate whole platters of stuff before.

Oh well.. waiting for Thursday's weigh in!

clarification

So I had that 188 weigh in about a month and half ago. I used a different scale tonight but it read in at about 181. I really haven't been sticking to the plan that much but I guess it must have made a little bit of difference. Anyways I'm down about 7 pounds since "yesterday" according to the scale. But really "yesterday" was last April. Anyways it makes me feel a little better since I was really hating the high high number. Being 170 is about normal for me, but in my pictures I look really really fat. I think I must have lost some muscle and have more fat because my face and body are so large. Anyways - seeing it go down will be more inspiration. I am posting a pic that was taken last weekend. So depressing, but hopefully in a couple months I will post a much nicer one. Ciao!

First and Intro

Weight loss and body image have been a problem for me since I hit puberty. I was an active, normal sized kid and suddenly when I hit about 6th grade I started getting bullied, got my first period, and gained a lot of weight. By age 13 (7th grade) my Mom forced me to go to weight watchers, the damage turned into 182 pounds. Since I was being forced to go I didn't follow very dilligently, but by a combination of join the school track and soccer teams I went down to about 165 ish through my junior year of high school. Then I met a boy, a boy I really liked. When I first met him I was about 170 pounds.. and I felt ashamed.

We broke up, as he was across the country. And I tried very very hard to lose weight for when I would inevitably see him again, I probably got myself down about 15 pounds or so and I felt a lot better.  However after another nasty break up and some very poor diet choices.. bordering on eating disorder, I ended up at around 145 (my lowest weight that I remember) around the summer that I went to college. I looked pretty good (see pictures) but I wasn't healthy or happy. And I really wasn't even that "skinny." A lot of people say they wan't to fit back in their size 4 or 6 jeans.. I was always a 10 and almost an 8 when I was almost starving myself. I have a very typical hour glass shape which means I carry extra weight better than most. It's also very easy to gain and lose weight for me. ... which brings me to..

3/2005 - I am working at a Drs. office. I decide to step on the scale.. 177.. so frsutrating. My grandma has lost 22 pounds on WW and sends me all her stuff.. after a month I'm down to 165. (this is with a couple a of cheats as well.) A month and 12 pounds down is great, I look and feel different. But then I fall off. In the summer I go to visit Japan and feel like a complete fatty. The girls there are so small and clothing fitting me is about as realistic as growing a third arm. However after a very very food filled winter, I had a major addiction to curly fries, ben and jerrys, and starbucks winter drinks. I found my self at my highest weight ever, when I went to get a physical in April 06 I saw my weight as being 188 pounds. Shock went through my body, I knew I had gained weight but I didn't know how much. Even so, I dallyed around being on points and off for abour a month and a half.. but I really need to just grow up and stick with it.

I always get so jealous of people who eat anything that they want and don't gain a pound but  I have to realize that I can't be like that. I'd really welcome support and friends.. its so much easier to have some one to talk to.

Anyways, I'd like to be around 140 pounds or fit nicely in to a size 6. Just to say that I can do it.. so which ever comes first. More on my reasoning next post!

Tata!