Just me again. Am stuck in a rut and cant seem to get myself out of it. Bloody holidays have killed my exercise program. Cant seem to find the motivation to get back on the treadmill and get some exercise done. Am watching Biggest Loser tonight so I've made myself a promise that I will be on the treadmill from the time it starts till when its finished. Gotta do something. I feel so slack lately.

Not a great week here. My three youngest started a new school and its been really stressfull with lots and lots of tears, both from them and me! My poor little man is completely lost cause its such a big school.

Came home Tuesday and was so upset I sat and ate an entire thin and crispy pizza. Before I knew it it was all gone. Why couldnt i stop at one or two pieces?? Feel like crap now knowing I stuffed up. Have been good since but it still doesnt make up for the whole pizza gone. What a dick!!!

Got back into the exercise then very quickly lost my motivation again. Where the hell has it gone. All this exercise equipment around here and I cant find the motivation to get my arse on it.

I'm sitting at 67.4kgs which is pretty good but still along way off my goal of hitting 65kgs. These last 5 kilos seem to have taken me forever to lose. Still doing the shakes twice a day. Cant bring myself to drop one and replace it with a proper meal until I hit my final goal. Hoping that wont be too far away. Everyones commenting tha I'm now too skinny. ya cant win can you. One minute I'm too fat and need to lose weight and the next I need to put some on.  lol

Anyway off to drop the kids at school then to work for another day. Thank god only two days left till the weekend.

Well i've finally decided enough is enough and today like it or not I'm going to start exercising again. Been very slack since going on holidays and have lost my motivation to exercise.  Will start with 1/2 hour on the bike and see how I feel after that. Got all this exercise equipment sitting here and not using them which is pissing me off so back into it.

Went off the rail a little yesterday. Had some biscuits in the fridge that where pleading to be eaten. Couldnt stop at 1, nooooooo not me, 10 down and went to bed angry with myself for giving in.... bugger!!!

I originally set my goal weight at 68kgs but I'm thinking hard about reducing that to 65kgs so I have a 2-3kg buffer.  If i stop at 68 i dont know if i'll be happy with that when it fluctuates like it does at TTOM. So if i drop it to 65kgs thats another 3.8kgs to goal weight. Far out that seems like a long way off.

Anyway better get off my arse and get on the bike.

Well i'm finally home from holidays. What a disaster that was. The only good thing to come out of my holiday was that I still lost weight which is amazing. Down to 68.9kgs now which is a total loss of 10kgs. I'm really pleased with that.  Gotta get my butt back into gear and start my exercises again. Havent done anything in 14 days so i reckon its gunna hurt getting back into it.

Starting back at work today. Cant believe the holidays are all over for another 12 months. They take so long to get here then they're all over before you know it. 

Better get off my butt and get ready for work

Wow its nearly all over for another year. Only gotta do the food shopping for christmas and i'm all done. Daves present will be ready this afternoon so its all happening.

Weighed in this morning. Not a huge loss this week. Only 400 grams, but thats better then a gain so i'm happy with that. Would of been nice to hit the 68's but wasnt to be. Now sitting at 69.5kgs which is over 9kgs in 7 weeks. Pretty bloody good if i do say so myself.

Feeling really great now and my fitness level is better then it was when i was 14 so the whole weight loss thing has been a fantastic experience for me. Improved my whole life ten fold. I now feel confident which I've always struggled with.  Yesterday I even went out and brought a suspender belt and stockings and a ribbon. Thats Daves second christmas present. Hows that for confidence!!

Better go get my workout done before it gets too hot to do it.

Wow only 4 more days till Santa comes and the whole thing is over for another year. Hopefully Daves present will be finished tomorrow and I can pick it up, then I can relax...

Busted my butt doing my workout yesterday. 1/2 hour on the bike and 1/2 hour on the treadie. For some reason I had to keep telling myself only 20 more minutes, only 15 more minutes. Normally I would get on and enjoy every second but not the last week or so. Might have something to do with TTOM, but i feel like i'm exercising by force at the moment. Its Sunday today so i'm only doing 1/2 hour on the bike. Went out to dinner last night for my daughters birthday and wore my eldest daughters jeans. Have to admit I felt like a Yummy Mummy.  They are gorgeous jeans but she hates them cause they are bigger then a tea towel and not skin tight, so i'm gunna keep them. LOL

Gotta go do shopping today. The fridge is looking unhealthy and I'm looking at the shitty food cause there's nothing else real attractive and healthy in there. Gunna also stock up on my CS replacement bars and shakes for when I go away. Dont wanna run out and go off the rails.

Better get off my arse and get this bike over and done with or i never will.

Cant believe its only 4 days till my birthday, 5 days till christmas and only 6 days till we leave for Tassy.  I am so excited. Gunna be a big week.  I've kicked my exercise up a gear cause as from boxing day I wont be able to get alot if any exercise for 12 days. Dont wanna come back and have a shit load of weight to lose.  Going to behave while I'm away and stick to what I know is healthy but I'll be cutting back to 1 shake a day which is new territory since I started CS so fingers crossed I go okay.

Dropped the kids off with their Dad today. Yippee. Gunna be a nice quite day and night. Dave and I will be going shopping this afternoon to buy my birthday clothes. Very exciting.  Dave loves really classy clothes and for a man he has beautiful taste in clothes so it should be a fantastic afternoon.  Going to look for some high heels to wear new years eve. I hate high heels but they look stunning so i wanna find one with a decent heel, possibly like a clog heel. These tiny little heals are only good for breaking my neck!

I'm the second day into my holiday and absolutely loving the time off although yesterday the work phone never stopped. Every ten minutes there was a phone call. Nice to know I'm needed.

I'm only 1.7kgs off my goal weight. How awesome is that. I cant wait to see 68kgs on those scales. I've worked really hard where normally I would give up a week in and think ah stuff it its never gunna come off. I'm so proud that this time I said I would do it and I have!!! Just proves to me that when I want something bad enough I can do it.

Finished all the chrissy shopping now. Might have a look for a nice outfit for all the kids today to where chrissy day but not sure yet. Hopefully I can pick up Daves present monday or tuesday then its all done. I cant wait to see how his turned out. I know he will love it. I can feel it!

Christmas really is a beautiful time of the year. Reminds all of us of what we have to be thankfull for. I am so lucky to have 5 healthy kids and a partner who absolutely adores me and treats me like pure gold. I really am truely blessed. Who would of thought 5 years ago when I was sitting out in the sticks struggling on my own to raise 5 kids and keep a roof over their heads that I'd be where I am now. Not only do I now have the love of my life Dave but I have a job that I absolutely love, a wonderful house and a really blessed life. Things are always tough financially with a mortgage and 5 kids but overall life is pretty bloody good.

The heat has finally let off for the day. Yesterday was discusting. So bloody hot I thought i was gunna melt. Today its about 28 but thank god theres some wind. Looks like we might be in for a storm later this afternoon.

My two eldest girls have just gone and cleaned the house for me so I can relax for the day. How nice is that. (wonder how much money that'll cost me when we go shopping today)  I know i shouldnt be so cynical but I'll bet i'm right.

Might go put the tv on and have a nanny nap for an hour or so before I get up and get ready to go shopping.

I am finally on holidays now. Finished today!!! Havent had a holiday since January last year so i really need this break. Going to Tassy in another 8 days and I cant wait. At least its cool down there. Its stinking hot up here at the moment. Driving me nuts. i'm cranky as a cut snake in the heat!

Finished all my christmas shopping last night so now I can relax. Have ordered Daves but cause his in custom made I wont be able to pick it up till early next week. left it a little late.

Weights still 69.9kgs which is great. I'm planning on doing some really intense workouts over the next 6 days see if I can make it too 69 exactly before I go away. Would be nice to celebrate my birthday (chrissy eve) with that under my belt. That will mean a loss of over 10 kilos in 8 weeks which would be awesome.  Have put hte treadmill on incline now so my workouts on the treadie are really intense now. Will make sure I do 45 minutes a day on treadie and 45 minutes minimum a day on the bike. 

Had to do some clothes shopping today. All my clothes are falling off me. Even clothes I brought 10 days ago are now hanging around my hips. Brought 4 pairs of really awesome jeans which I havent been able to wear in years comfortably.  Picking up my new dress for New Years Eve tomorrow. Cant wait. I'm sure it will shock Dave to see me in a dress. Its short black and oh my god sexy.. I feel like a million dollars in it.

Gosh I am so tired. I worked my butt off at work this week trying to finish everything off before holidays. Cant believe its all done and I dont have to get up at 5 tomorrow morning to go to work. Will be nice to sleep in.

Well better get off my butt and do some tidying up before having a quick nanny nap...

Well i weighed in this morning at 69.9kgs. Finally out of those 70's. Felt like i'd been in the 70's forever. Am so happy!!! 

Moved my treadmill down lastnight and worked my arse off. Did 1/2 hour on a uphill incline at 5kmph.  Gosh I can feel my legs this morning. 

Only 8 more days till Santa comes and I get my Wii fit and 9 more days till we leave for Tassy. Bring it on!!!!!