Okay, I have to eat my previous words...
...but THIS time I have marching orders! But I'll get to that in a minute. In the last month I had to throw good eating habits out the window because of my hectic life. Okay, that's a sad excuse. I didn't have to but I chose to for the sake of making my life easier. Bad move, I know.
Anyhoo, in the month since I blogged last my Great Grandma (God bless her soul at 93!) was put in the hospital for what we all feared was the End. We really thought she was going to go to God but after 3 weeks of vigorous treatments we were finally able to bring her home a little over a week ago. But needless to say I spent every available moment I could by her bedside because, for one, she raised me and was my 2nd Mother, but also because she fell into a deep state of despair and depression so the family made sure someone was by her bedside at all times. Needless to say I did a lot of eating the wrong thing while in the hospital visiting. Many times I was there after the cafeteria closed so I was eating out of vending machines. In hindsight I guess I could have ordered salads...
Anyhoo, in addition to my hospital trips (did I mention that the hospital is in Maryland and I live in Virginia?) I had been promoted from assistant teacher to primary teacher and I had lots of work to do with planning lessons, etc... and I also started school for my teaching certificate so I could teach more than preschool. I'm so behind in homework it's not funny. So we've been living off of fast food, quickie meals (like ramen noodles) and junk food at my house. The only one who eats somewhat healthy is my son. I can take the time to give him something nutritious but not for myself. Sounds whack, doesn't it?
But anyway, back to my marching orders. As I've mentioned before I have had two very devastating miscarriages. My OB sent me and my husband to see a fertility specialist because she can't understand why someone who is healthy as an ox, with a healthy reproductive system-- I won't go into the tests/scans I had to have done "down there"-- and had an easy and uncomplicated pregnancy with my son can't sustain a pregnancy now. So we went to see the specialist and she's going to do deeper testing but there were 3 things she said I had to do, no ifs, ands or butts: cut out caffeine, eat a more well rounded diet of healthier foods and less processed foods, and lose weight. She said every pound I lose will help towards a healthier pregnancy (I knew this) but what I didn't know was that fat contains a lot of hormones and it could be my out-of-whack hormones that could be causing me to lose pregnancies. So I am officially back on WW, and determined to lose the minimum 10 pounds she suggested I lose before we start trying to get pregnant in the Fall.
I've been saying all along that I needed to lose weight so I could have a healthier pregnancy but there is something about getting told you have to as opposed to just saying you have to. So although I've been motivated before, now I am REALLY motivated. I really want that 2nd baby. That and she'll be monitoring my weight when I go for my visits. 
When I went to her office last Monday the scale said 248. I almost died because I couldn't believe I was almost back to 250 after I had gotten down to almost 230. That alone is motivation as well.
So even though tracking what I eat has gotten totally tedious for me, I know it's a necessary evil, so I will do it. I didn't make a WW meeting today but I did go to my online WW account and get it all up to date, so I'm tracking. I really want this baby, so I feel I have no choice but to lose weight. I know that's not true but for me it's good I feel that way. It will kick my butt into gear.
I hope everyone else is doing well. As soon as I finish my homework I will try and get back on and read your blogs. Ciao!