Just another day

Day 6...still going. I made a pact to myself to not weigh for awhile. To give the meds and dieting a chance, before I stepped on the scale..saw no loss and got disheartened...I went to walmart today, and was looking for a scale...then I talked myself down off the ledge...and walked away...I did not weigh! YAY ME!!!

The meds are doing great at suppressing my appetite..and my need to "go"...If you are reading this and asking...what is "go". Well, my pottying is challenged! Yea, wish me luck!

I read peoples blogs all the time...when I have a down time from the kids...I read...I try to be inspired, to psych myself into thinking. this will happen! I am eager for my numbers on my graph over to the side to change...to show some results! Thank you all for your kindess and thoughts! You all rock!

Gail

Mental Roadblock!

Today is day 5 of weight loss and phentermine! And I honestly have to say while Im still hopeful, the skeptical part of me is kicking in. I keep thinking, the little magic pill should kick in by now, I should feel something. Only thing I am feeling is not hungry. I know things dont happen overnight, but I am not good at waiting! Yea, I know big downfall!

I am great at encouraging others, I just lack the esteem for myself. Its like I hit a mental roadblock when it comes to me. I freeze like a deer in headlights!  It all becomes overwhelming and all I really want to do is hide in my shell and let the world go by.

In my heart..I know I can do this! I must do this!

The biggest battle is in the mind! Do we ever really overcome our minds?

Gail

Inspirations!

I was sitting here watching my sons attempt a puzzle that they could not normally do, and when they FINALLY got it together, the look of pride beamed from their faces! And I thought, OMG this is such inspiration to me! They had an obstacle, they came up with a  plan of action, they executed it and they conquered! Just like my struggle with weight loss!  I cant wait to feel that sense of pride!

Today is day 4 of Phentermine, diet and exercise! I am finding that I have absolutely no appetite. My mind has been playing tricks on me! You can do it...no, you have tried you have failed before! Blah...I think  the mental block is part of the whole battle. I dont want to be weighed down by the "cants" any more. You know the typical cant's....You cant fit in that, You cant succeed, you cant lose weight, you cant achieve your goal.

  I will lose weight. Failure is not an option! There is no turning back, only looking forward!

I read the blogs of others on this site several times a day as my motivation, as inspiration. And I must say...there is such an awesome assortment of people on this site! Everyone full of good thoughts, well wishes and shoes big enough to give the kick in the right direction when things seem impossible. Thank you!

~Gail

Nothings Gonna Get Me Down!

I cant think of a better title for this post. Nothings gonna get me down!  My morning started at 3 am with 2 little sick guys, coughing, sneezing, gagging. And yet, with no sleep...I still feel GREAT!

Today is the 3rd day of my endevour and like I said I am feeling absolutely wonderful.  I think what makes this different than any other time I have tried to lose weight is now I want it SO much for myself.  I think back to the clothes stores that dont have my size, the looks I get for being hefty, the comments I hear about fat people (in the same breathe people say ohh but i wasnt referring to you) And it all makes me even more determined.

I have read on other peoples posts their list of 10 things they love about themselves. I dont think I am at that point yet, but I know this all starts with self love.  I am working on me, concentrating on the way i feel and think. I seemed to have lost myself somewhere around wifedom and mommyhood. I had guilty thoughts of doing things for me instead of my kids and husband.  But now is the time I work on me.

I am so eager to see what the next weeks and months have instore for me as I start to see progress. Maybe at that point, I will then have a top 10 things i love about me list, and I will eager to share it!

Dum Spiro Spero ~ While I breathe, I hope

~Gail

The Journey Begins

I am a 30 year old,  proud mother of 2. My boys are part of my reason for shedding this ugly fat that weighs me down. I have struggled with being "large" all my life. Yet no one seemed to think it was a problem.   I would visit the doctors, and of course their first thought is, maybe your thyroid is off. So they test the thyroid, say you are fine and would send me on my merry way, with thoughts to maybe try dieting. Who would have thought diet? DUH!  That seemed to be the routine.  I would think to myself...doesnt anyone understand the torment it is to be trapped in this fat body.

I finally met a pulmonary specialist who saw the need for me to be thinner. The first time I met with him, I thought I would rather be fat, than listen to the hard hitting facts that he was saying ever so bluntly. He didnt mince words, and after several days of crying I figured...i can either fight or flight.

Well Im choosing to FIGHT! I will not let the weight beat me. The thin person in me is dying to get out.  Im sure it will not be an easy journey or one for the record books but its MY journey.