Blessed

I realize I often ramble about my kids and their "evilness" and me wanting a 3rd child...and a friend of mine sent me this song and it hits home..so please please please watch this video

Makes me so thankful. And so blessed!

ummm...lack of title

Happy 4th or whatever you people celebrate!

Hub got home late from work last night, and the kids were still up waiting for him, in hopes of him freeing them from their cell.  After many battles of daddy finally being the bad guy. The boys went to bed around 12:30. Hub finally got to see the other side of the coin.

The boys have been bouncing off the walls today and have kept me on my toes. Dechlan was running to get away from Peyton, jumped in the recliner and flipped head/shoulder first to the tile floor underneath. Of course, my heart went into failure. Are these kids gonna be the death of me? I often wonder that. Then, I was cooking dinner...and helping 1 child go to the potty...and when I cook I try to keep the kids out the kitchen...I heard screaming like someone was being killed. My first thought was oh, heavens! He might have pulled a hot pot on himself...NOOOOO, he was screaming because his tv show ended.

Lol...my dr always checks my heart and blood pressure because of the phentermine..but has he thought to check me into a nuthut to save me from my family? lol...Every day is an adventure. Is 2 and 3 years old too young for military school??? And do hospitals take refunds on the children they deliver even after the warranty is up?

Eh, anyway..point of all this...I am going to eat an ice cream sandwich tonight and say pfffffttttttt.....to diet and scale and whoever else wants to get my face. lol..

Have a great night..

Tired and in drought?

Hello my friends!

Today brings about exhaustion! My 2 sweet dear angels decided to run and play until almost 2 am. My hub has been closing all week, so a couple nights this week...he took them out of bed, let them watch tv, with popcorn and sweet tea...Oh, my excitement. I know its because he didnt get to see them much but boy am I paying for that. I put the boys down for bed, and they pretty much kick and scream for POCK CORN and TEAAAA, until hub gets home. I have been making him go be the bad guy and tuck them in...after fussing they go to sleep! But oh my geez..what long nights. SOOOO....good old mom decided it was enough, they go to bed at 2...I wake them at 8. Hoping it will tired them out for bed tonight.

On the dieting front, I am trying to still increase my water intake. I just cant seem to manage it...for those that have followed my blog, know this has been one of my biggest struggles. I have never been one to have to need a lot of liquid..so when i get to a certain point..my body pretty much says NO!....I dont know how to overcome this. I have tried crystal lights, lemon, plain water. But cant seem to up the intake!

Have a great day

Images

Lol, everyone seemed to enjoy Pissy Peyton, so I thought I would add a picture of him in action. The tantrum was because he didnt get the movie that he wanted. Oh, hes a special kid!

I have tried and tried all day to change around my blog to fix things, swap out pictures. But it has decided not to cooperate. I cant get rid of the avatar that I uploaded when I joined. No matter what I do..it comes back. (yes, Im hitting save) Websites frustrate me to no extent and this just adds to it.

I was reading peoples blogs and their reasoning for their new life changes, and decided that part of  my reasoning is...I want to actually have a family picture that I am proud of, not where I stand out and take up half of the photo. lol...

I think I am slowly learning to love myself. I woke this morning and usually I avoid the mirror at all cost, but I stood there today and was like wow, I can see the changes. And for once, I smiled when looking at myself. It felt awesome. I see the little changes, but when I realized I was smiling at my image,  I beamed. I have never been one to think I were attractive or to be known as the pretty one. And yet today, I felt pride...

Have a terrific day!

Good day?

Today has been a semi good day....aside from the 3 year old whining...Pissy Peyton as I like to call him. You pick a topic and that boy can whine over it! Heck, you dont have to pick a topic and he will whine.

We made a trip to walmart, and of course i stepped on their scales. My weight was in the 212 range, on every scale I stepped on..which floored me, so i would step on another. But I am not getting my hopes up, since the dr scales always weighs different than regular scales. Either way, I will be content with what I am losing.

Thank you all for the messages from yesterdays post. I reread it and was thinking...wow, you sound so down, so pessimistic. Which I like to think isnt me. I like to think of the glass half full, and well my half full moment to having extra skin is...it can keep me warm in the winter...tuck my hands under the arm flaps, who needs mittens?

Oh, Tom also showed today...which is a great thing, that means the birth control pills are actually working...it was 2 days earlier than the pills said..but I will take it. Hopefully TOM will become regulated enough that we can continue trying to have a baby once I get off the pills...

Have a great day

Gail 

Happiness

I have taken a lot of the morning to catch up on peoples blogs, and to read new ones. It amazes me how many I read, and they can relate to my life. Just when you feel like you are all alone. There is another story. Yea, the story has a few tweaks that dont apply but overall, it could be your evil twin living your life.

I have longed to be thinner for so long, that I dont know what its like for that yearning to not be there. I was trying to decide when will I have enough? when will I be comfortable in my own skin? Will it be when I hit a certain weight, reach a certain size? I dont know the answers to these questions. Like a lot of us, I wing it and go day by day.

My hub was giving me a back massage last night, and he said omg I can feel your bones. Two things popped into my mind.. Wow, was I that doughy he couldnt feel it before, and yay, maybe something is paying off!

There are areas of my body that I am noticing loose skin and its driving me insane. Where as before at least it had something filling it...if that makes sense. The area that kills me is the under side of my arms, when it flaps way longer than you move your arm. It makes me wonder if all the work for weight loss is for nothing. I will have saggy skin in my belly, thighs, arms...and I still wont be content with myself is my fear.

I dunno if these fears are normal but I cant help but wonder every day, will I ever really be happy with me? No, this is not some blog about me falling off the wagon, or wanting to quit because I DO want to be smaller..despite the skin. It just brings about the question, what will it take for me to be happy in my own body. Is there ever such a thing as perfection within ourselves?

keep up the great work...

Gail

Willpower

"Life's a journey, not a guided tour"

Hiya my dear friends! Saturday, I got up got dressed, began to walk..and my pants were hanging around my butt. I said eh, I stretched them out. Sunday, I got up pulled old clothes out of the closet some were too small, but others fit just right! I was so amazed. I got that extra boost that my confidence needed, and I was lacking.

I then began to think...what will it take me to continue this trend. What is that special secret that I need to push me forward. After seeing the way my clothes fit...I decided that one thing was willpower.

Willpower-energetic determination. It hit me, if you are feeling this confident after just 20 lbs, what will you feel like after 40? I am so committed to losing this weight even more now. I am determined my 'willpower" is stronger than any obstacle on this journey. Although there are times we falter, or misstep, thats half of the journey. Nothing is set in stone, nothing points out every direction we must go. Its up to us, to choose our paths.

I hope you all have a great week, and I cant wait to catch up with you all. Keep looking toward the goal.

Gail

Reflections

Today has been a day of sadness and reflection. For those that dont know...I am from Charleston South Carolina. You may or may not have heard about the fire here, that claimed 9 of our firemen. This horrific event, took place just one street over from my house. (a large street)  If you want to check it out, www.live5news.com They had a procession today, that was 300 plus fire trucks from around the nation. The boys and I made signs and took flags near the site, to show our love and support. It amazes me the outpouring of the people here. Actually around the nation...Just when you think the world is bad..It takes something like this to bring people together. My heart hurts for the families that lost their husbands, fathers, brothers, sons etc. Loss is never easy, especially at this magnitude. I am so thankful to the men and women who serve us every day. Whether it be police, fire, army, navy, air force, marines. It takes special people to do those jobs, and special people to be their families. If any of you are service..i thank you.

In Valor There is Hope!

I am here! I think?

Ok, so I havent fallen off the face of the earth. I have just been super busy! Thank you to those that have emailed to check on me. It maked me feel special.

I updated my graph to show my weight loss. I am down 18 lbs pretty much in a month and a half. 3 weeks without meds since my TOM was late, I didnt want to do harm incase of pregnancy. So 18 is a good number for me. The scales at walmart said 23 but I will take the 18.

The week has been filled with my sons 2nd birthday party,(we waited for my mother inlaw to come down), water parks, shopping, tons of activities and I am worn out! EXHAUSTED! It is amazing how going all the time can overcome you.

I cant wait to catch up with you all on your blogs!  I have missed you. Its hard to read up and post with "eyes" over your shoulder. dang nosey people! But I am back and raring to go..hope to hear from you all soon.

Gail

Ramblin

Helloooooo Ladies! I have not been able to get into my blog. This is the first time I have been able to since my last post. So, where do I begin. The good, the bad, and the wowzers thats ugly.

lol...Well, I dunno what order I would consider the last several days of my life. Hubs back is still kinked, and he's a grump! The boys went to the dr and they have "severe colds", after $40 for the visit, $40 for cough meds, and $30 on hair cuts before the dr appt. I dont even want to spend another dime on the kids until Prom (which is like 15 years away...fat chance, and yes, Im a mom that doesnt like her kids to be ratty in public) By the way, there is a lady at the barber shop that scares the crud out of Pey. I told her no thanks for her services but eh, hub agreed. Peyton kicked and screamed, and she took a patch out of his hair. She tried to blend it but you can see the uneveness. Never again

TOM decided to rear its ugly head. This has been the worst TOM ever. The first since dieting. I got light headed, started puking, yea...that bad. Although thru it all, Im thankful its here..now the bloat feeling can go away! Lol..I have avoided the scale for 2 weeks now and when I took the kids to the dr, I said let me step on their scale...OMG, their scale said I gained 6 lbs. I was like WTF, no way..I was down all day...then later that day...TOM. I dunno if you can carry 6 lbs extra because of TOM..but I am claiming it...There is no way, I have gained 6 lbs. lol..I would think after a couple months of no TOM, it could possibly have that effect. Who knows!

I have missed you all!! I hope the diet gods have been good to you all...(yes of course the diet god is a man...it wouldnt be so difficult if a woman...DUH!)

Love... Chunky Monkey