Walking away

Howdy Folks!

With my new medication changes, I have been waking up rested. I got up this morning and did Walk away the pounds, 1 mile session. Of course, kids started screaming, so I was content with that. After the kids had their lunch, I put them on the sofa and made them have quiet time (they no longer want to nap) Quiet time for mama turned into me doing the 2 mile session of the dvd. So wooohoooo that is 3 miles today. I was really excited. I felt accomplished.

As I was doing the video, my sons were copying me, hand movements, legs...lol..God bless them. Make me want to slap um they are so cute. (in our family and some friends) we express love with violence..not actual violence but saying things like, aww shes so sweet I wanted to drop kick her...or awww I could smack them piss out of them for being so cute. Yea dont ask..

I hope you all have a terrific day..I am motivated to get out and do things.

Gail

Heavy Blog

Ok, so I took the advice of you ladies and got a liter bottle. I have had 3 today...which by their calculations is the same as 12 cups of water. I am floating!!! I dont think the Titanic sunk in as much water as I produced today.

A family member inspired me to write a little something about this...Depression and Abuse.  They are both evil but combine the 2 and you have a time bomb waiting to happen. So many of us become overwhelmed with certain aspects of our lives, that we can easily slip into depression. Finances, relationships, jobs all add to it..and there comes a breaking point. Once you hit that breaking point, it then becomes dangerous. Add abuse to the breaking point, and you have a fine line for someone ready to snap. Abuse doesnt always have to be physical...it can be mental and emotional...which take way longer to recover from. There are so many people tetering on the edge and all it takes is just a breeze to push them over.

I think we have to be careful in the way we talk to others, no I am not saying...treat people with kid gloves..but I am saying...maybe think before words come out. You never know what kind of day a person is having, and you could be the breaking point. Life is short, and we need to live to the fullest...like we would want. And if you know someone who is suffering from depression, take a moment to send them a note, email, give them a ring, just to let them know they are not alone, and that someone cares.

Sorry this blog was so heavy but its on my heart.  And for those that think I am a flake...you should have stopped reading my blogs long time ago.

Peytonism:  Tom is visiting, and of course with a 2 and 3 year old..you never go to the bathroom alone anymore. Well my son being potty trained..went potty a bit later, and ran out the bathroom....Momma I want this diaper...*flings a maxi pad at me. I had to explain those are mommy diapers. The end. Good old peyton.

Hope

I was sitting here thinking about my struggle with losing weight, and my fellow EPers. And I realized that we all were hoping or longing for something. I then went to my trusty dictionary and looked up hope.

Hope:  1. to cherish a desire with anticipation.  2. to desire with expectation of obtainment.  3. to expect with confidence.

It is often hard to maintain "hope" when you hit rough patches, highs, lows, nay-sayers. But I think once we realize the things we are longing for are worth the push, grief, and added stress, it seems the heartache dulls or disappears. When we see others achieve the things we want, its like a kick in the gut. Happy for them, YES....sad for us, YES....give up hope...NEVER.

The things we yearn for dont necessarily have to be for weight loss, it could be for a child, a job,  or a friend who understands. Its one of the things that bonds us all together, we all have hope for something.

My hopes....to be a great wife, mother, friend. To lose weight and feel good in my own skin. To raise my boys to respect others. To feel a sense of accomplishment every day. To find satisfaction in myself and not in what others think of me.

Have a great day!!!

Blessed

I realize I often ramble about my kids and their "evilness" and me wanting a 3rd child...and a friend of mine sent me this song and it hits home..so please please please watch this video

Makes me so thankful. And so blessed!

ummm...lack of title

Happy 4th or whatever you people celebrate!

Hub got home late from work last night, and the kids were still up waiting for him, in hopes of him freeing them from their cell.  After many battles of daddy finally being the bad guy. The boys went to bed around 12:30. Hub finally got to see the other side of the coin.

The boys have been bouncing off the walls today and have kept me on my toes. Dechlan was running to get away from Peyton, jumped in the recliner and flipped head/shoulder first to the tile floor underneath. Of course, my heart went into failure. Are these kids gonna be the death of me? I often wonder that. Then, I was cooking dinner...and helping 1 child go to the potty...and when I cook I try to keep the kids out the kitchen...I heard screaming like someone was being killed. My first thought was oh, heavens! He might have pulled a hot pot on himself...NOOOOO, he was screaming because his tv show ended.

Lol...my dr always checks my heart and blood pressure because of the phentermine..but has he thought to check me into a nuthut to save me from my family? lol...Every day is an adventure. Is 2 and 3 years old too young for military school??? And do hospitals take refunds on the children they deliver even after the warranty is up?

Eh, anyway..point of all this...I am going to eat an ice cream sandwich tonight and say pfffffttttttt.....to diet and scale and whoever else wants to get my face. lol..

Have a great night..

Tired and in drought?

Hello my friends!

Today brings about exhaustion! My 2 sweet dear angels decided to run and play until almost 2 am. My hub has been closing all week, so a couple nights this week...he took them out of bed, let them watch tv, with popcorn and sweet tea...Oh, my excitement. I know its because he didnt get to see them much but boy am I paying for that. I put the boys down for bed, and they pretty much kick and scream for POCK CORN and TEAAAA, until hub gets home. I have been making him go be the bad guy and tuck them in...after fussing they go to sleep! But oh my geez..what long nights. SOOOO....good old mom decided it was enough, they go to bed at 2...I wake them at 8. Hoping it will tired them out for bed tonight.

On the dieting front, I am trying to still increase my water intake. I just cant seem to manage it...for those that have followed my blog, know this has been one of my biggest struggles. I have never been one to have to need a lot of liquid..so when i get to a certain point..my body pretty much says NO!....I dont know how to overcome this. I have tried crystal lights, lemon, plain water. But cant seem to up the intake!

Have a great day

Images

Lol, everyone seemed to enjoy Pissy Peyton, so I thought I would add a picture of him in action. The tantrum was because he didnt get the movie that he wanted. Oh, hes a special kid!

I have tried and tried all day to change around my blog to fix things, swap out pictures. But it has decided not to cooperate. I cant get rid of the avatar that I uploaded when I joined. No matter what I do..it comes back. (yes, Im hitting save) Websites frustrate me to no extent and this just adds to it.

I was reading peoples blogs and their reasoning for their new life changes, and decided that part of  my reasoning is...I want to actually have a family picture that I am proud of, not where I stand out and take up half of the photo. lol...

I think I am slowly learning to love myself. I woke this morning and usually I avoid the mirror at all cost, but I stood there today and was like wow, I can see the changes. And for once, I smiled when looking at myself. It felt awesome. I see the little changes, but when I realized I was smiling at my image,  I beamed. I have never been one to think I were attractive or to be known as the pretty one. And yet today, I felt pride...

Have a terrific day!

Good day?

Today has been a semi good day....aside from the 3 year old whining...Pissy Peyton as I like to call him. You pick a topic and that boy can whine over it! Heck, you dont have to pick a topic and he will whine.

We made a trip to walmart, and of course i stepped on their scales. My weight was in the 212 range, on every scale I stepped on..which floored me, so i would step on another. But I am not getting my hopes up, since the dr scales always weighs different than regular scales. Either way, I will be content with what I am losing.

Thank you all for the messages from yesterdays post. I reread it and was thinking...wow, you sound so down, so pessimistic. Which I like to think isnt me. I like to think of the glass half full, and well my half full moment to having extra skin is...it can keep me warm in the winter...tuck my hands under the arm flaps, who needs mittens?

Oh, Tom also showed today...which is a great thing, that means the birth control pills are actually working...it was 2 days earlier than the pills said..but I will take it. Hopefully TOM will become regulated enough that we can continue trying to have a baby once I get off the pills...

Have a great day

Gail 

Happiness

I have taken a lot of the morning to catch up on peoples blogs, and to read new ones. It amazes me how many I read, and they can relate to my life. Just when you feel like you are all alone. There is another story. Yea, the story has a few tweaks that dont apply but overall, it could be your evil twin living your life.

I have longed to be thinner for so long, that I dont know what its like for that yearning to not be there. I was trying to decide when will I have enough? when will I be comfortable in my own skin? Will it be when I hit a certain weight, reach a certain size? I dont know the answers to these questions. Like a lot of us, I wing it and go day by day.

My hub was giving me a back massage last night, and he said omg I can feel your bones. Two things popped into my mind.. Wow, was I that doughy he couldnt feel it before, and yay, maybe something is paying off!

There are areas of my body that I am noticing loose skin and its driving me insane. Where as before at least it had something filling it...if that makes sense. The area that kills me is the under side of my arms, when it flaps way longer than you move your arm. It makes me wonder if all the work for weight loss is for nothing. I will have saggy skin in my belly, thighs, arms...and I still wont be content with myself is my fear.

I dunno if these fears are normal but I cant help but wonder every day, will I ever really be happy with me? No, this is not some blog about me falling off the wagon, or wanting to quit because I DO want to be smaller..despite the skin. It just brings about the question, what will it take for me to be happy in my own body. Is there ever such a thing as perfection within ourselves?

keep up the great work...

Gail

Willpower

"Life's a journey, not a guided tour"

Hiya my dear friends! Saturday, I got up got dressed, began to walk..and my pants were hanging around my butt. I said eh, I stretched them out. Sunday, I got up pulled old clothes out of the closet some were too small, but others fit just right! I was so amazed. I got that extra boost that my confidence needed, and I was lacking.

I then began to think...what will it take me to continue this trend. What is that special secret that I need to push me forward. After seeing the way my clothes fit...I decided that one thing was willpower.

Willpower-energetic determination. It hit me, if you are feeling this confident after just 20 lbs, what will you feel like after 40? I am so committed to losing this weight even more now. I am determined my 'willpower" is stronger than any obstacle on this journey. Although there are times we falter, or misstep, thats half of the journey. Nothing is set in stone, nothing points out every direction we must go. Its up to us, to choose our paths.

I hope you all have a great week, and I cant wait to catch up with you all. Keep looking toward the goal.

Gail