ITS A....

Ok, so here is the update...I am now almost 20 weeks pregnant. Havent gained any weight. Things are going great. I had my ultrasound today, and they said....ITS A GIRL....holy hell what am I going to do with a girl?? I am in the stage of disbelief. I told the tech, I would believe it when I see it. And she said well to her...there is NO doubt its a girl..and that I would soon see. YIKES! A girl. On the way from the dr's office, hub and I thought of the name Harper...I dunno if we are going to use it but its not something you hear everyday and we like it. I just thought I would update you guys. Lol, now my fears are being realized...I dont know anything about girls...Yes, I am a girl...But I am so far from girly. So say your prayers!

Miss you guys

Gail

lol my impatient lovies!!

hiya my lovies!!! I know I know...I know I should post. I have been waiting for my dr appointment today to post. I am now 12 weeks pregnant. Things are good. I am down to 189. WOOHOOOO!!! My lowest weight. I have been suffering from my horrible headaches since having to come off of my sleep medication. Peyton and Dechlan are doing great! Peyton is about to be 4. Where has my sweet baby gone??  Lol..my list of names is forever growing. What will baby 3 be named?  We have Carrick, Cooper, Finlay, Jonah, Merritt, Quinn, Ramsey, Reeve, Finian, and Rowen if boys..and um, nothing for a girl. I cant decide. and if any of you have different names that might fit with my brood...let me know...We get to find out the gender on March 17 at 8 am. I can't wait..thats if the little booger will cooperate. But who knows. I have had no morning sickness. Which is a miracle. I was deathly sick with the boys. I am so glad to share my news with you all. I miss you. I havent been around much because in the process...i am now working too. lol..oy me! MUAHHHH you are never far from my thoughts. Thank you so much for checking up on me!!

Gail

where to begin

I just want to say I am so stinking excited. I had a doctor appointment today. And its official...I am 6 weeks 6 days. Due on 8/8/08. I got to see the baby and the heart beat. Of course to my untrained eye, i see small thing in sac, yet tear up because its so beautiful.  My weight so far has maintained the same, but my boobs have gotten to the size of my head, and thats no small feat. And its still early in pregnancy. I just wanted to give you all an update, and thank you for thinking of me! I will put the u/s pic on my profile if you wish to see..

Loves

Gail

well well well

Um, I dont know where to start. Thank you so much for all the loving words that you all sent to me over my day of sadness. They really touched me. Actually I tried to respond and it kept telling me inaccurate security code. Bright old me decided today to try going through IE to post...who woulda thunk!

I stepped on the scale the other day and it said 187. Unofficial of course, BUTTTTTTTTT...dun dun dun...do you hear the music. I realized I hadnt not had TOM, so I was like eh, its from stress weight loss, all those good things. And to my surprise yesterday morning...NOPE...the good old pee test says I am pregnant. Imagine that. drop 50 plus pounds and I get pregnant. It is amazing to me. I was putting aside the thoughts of another child. Thinking I can be content with a family of 4. As soon as I thought that...Nice pink 2 lines. I still cant get over it. I need to make a dr appt asap because of all the medicines I have been on.

I have missed you all

Gail

A day of sadness

Today is the 5 year anniversary for my dad's death. It has been so hard emotionally. I cry at the drop of a hat, all I want to do is stay in bed and just be. I realized last night that I am so filled with anger, and bitterness. Its not a good place for me to be but Its where I am. I am so angry that we were robbed of the time with you, all for a selfish act. I am so angry that he didnt get to see me get married, I am angry that he wont get to see my sister graduate college (the first in our family) I am angry that my boys were robbed of such love and affection from their pop-pop. It just hurts and I cant make it stop. I have been to my dr for depression and anxiety 4 times in the last 2 weeks, he is monitoring me closely. There are days when I think i have a handle on it, and then I crumble. Other than my emotional state..I am ok. If I could just get my head into check.

Sorry that I have gone on and on about this but I need to vent, rant and rave. And well...lunatics stick together. I hope you all have a great week.

Drum roll please!

I went to the "fat" doctor and stepped on the scale...I am down to 192. I have made it to Onederland...and I have never been so excited. I took my pants I wore to my first appt in today to show him the difference....he was so amazed he walked around his office showing everyone. I wanted to die! Yet was so proud.  The appt was kind of odd...I walked in...Dr grabbed my tatas and said....the weight isnt coming from here...we are gonna give it 2 more months then we will recommend you for a breast reduction. My mouth fell to the floor...Utterly amazed that he just groped me and didnt even say hello first. And not that my boobs are any of his business!! But...he said insurance will most likely pick up the cost since they are heavy and press on lungs. Im thinking whatever gets the job done!

Kids are great! Blockheads as usual...Hub is great! And I know where his children got that blockhead trait. My mother inlaw is in town and things are topsy turvy..I hope to see you all soon!!

ps im going to try to add new pics of me

Home on the range

Hiya!!! I swear I have the attention span of a gnat. I sit down to blog, or try to catch up and off I go! lol...Things have been semi hectic here...Hub working, me working, mother inlaw coming, parole hearing coming, and the holidays. Oy, when does the world ever stop?

Things are going great in the weight loss department. I stepped on the scale at the pet store, yea i know..kinda flakey but what the heck. It said I was 195. I about made a puddle in their floor...Clean up on aisle 4. I have my drs appt on the 16th to see my actual weight loss, but my clothes feel way different. I am now in a size 16 and they are getting lose in the waist. Instead of disliking myself for being fat, im disliking myself for having hanging skin. lol...Its never over! Trade one for another.

I am in the process of finding a new job. The one I just got decided for managers to make their bonus, they needed to cut hours, so they only wanted me to work 10 hours a week. I have lots of interviews coming up. Wedding planners, florists, catering companies, photography studios. So just keep the fingers crossed that something comes my way that fits with our schedules. I would love to get my foot into anyone of those doors!

Our new dog is Avery. She is a 9 month old boxer. The people were just going to abandon her so we got her. And instant love between her and the kids. it was amazing that she fit so well. I think im going to upload a pic so yall can see her. And i need to take more pics of me!

I hope everyone is doing well..im gonna now try to catch up with you all! I miss you!

Gail

Juggling Act!

I cant believe it has been so long since I have posted. Things have been pretty busy around here. Hub was on inventory for 2 weeks, so we literally saw each other in passing. He would come home, I would leave. But things are still pretty good for us. Thank you all that have checked in on me, its just busy.

My 2 year old has started this crazy nose bleed thing.  We heard him crying so we went upstairs, from nose down he was covered in blood, literally there was no white skin showing from his mouth down. It was on the wall, on his brother, on blankets. I seriously have never seen so much blood in my life come from a nose.  I said enough is enough. "Wiser" moms would say oh, its normal, dont worry, hes a boy its expected. UM NO! I listened to my gut and took him in this morning. The ped said the vessels in his nose are extremely close to the surface of the skin and just a simple sneeze can cause him to rupture the vessels. So plan as of now is saline in the nose 4 times a day and vaseline at night.  lol, good luck to us on holding him down, we dont call him bear for nothing!...Dr said if he gets 1 more he will have to go to and ENT. (ear, nose, throat dr) to have the vessels cauterized.

My 3 year has been doing this snoring thing. We can hear him when hes upstairs and we have the tv going downstairs. Our ped said its not normal that it could stop his breathing. He said sounds like his tonsils and adnoids are too large. Ugh, just what every mom wants to hear..their kid can stop breathing. So, Peyton is next in line for a dr appt.

My weight loss has been stuck at the same plateau for a few weeks now and that is ok with me, because I am still way smaller than I was before I started this venture.  I told myself...I am going all out from here on in. I cant let a busy life dictate my needs. At some point, I have to put myself first, or I wont be around to take care of those who need it.

I miss you all. And I promise I will be around more!! Cant wait to check up on you all!

Gail

All i hear is blah blah blah

Oh, where or where did my sanity go? I know you are probably thinking, if you find yours, please send mine home? Instead of 3 french hens, 2 calling birds and a partridge in a pear tree. We have added a puppy to the nut hut, i like to call my house! She is a 15 week old, mini daschund pup, we named her Fergie, because well...shes a royal PITA. (pain in the a**) But she makes the boys happy, and if you tell my hub...i will deny it...I catch him chuckling at her often. Ever seen a puppy on crack...well this is the first one i have seen. Never does she have down time. My living room to kitchen carpet is going to have a figure 8 cut into it from her racing. Just when you think its safe, her little snout comes from under the couch to attack your feet!

The last 4 days have been horrible for me. I had a migraine, dr said come in, we will give you a shot...I got 2 shots, and i still had the headache, so last night, the dr called me in meds. I seriously would bare his children for doing that. I feel soooo much better today. God bless a man who can call in a RX.

The boys are getting bigger day by day, and sometimes i think i am too, but my clothes still fall off. I guess everyone has the some days are better than others. We are coming up on the anniversary of my dads death, and the days dont get easier. How do you cope with the man killing your loved one is up for parole after getting a 20 year sentence and only serving 5. Injustice i tell you! I have missed all of you like crazy!! I hope you hear from you all!!

Love Gail

PS...Onederland keeps evading me...I go up, I go down...2 lbs away from Onederland...and I cant put my finger on it.

Shoe to drop?

I wanted to take the time to those who stopped by my blog to offer words of encouragement, and that signed the petition. I cant believe that absolute strangers could care so much!

Do you ever look for the shoe to fall? By this I mean, you ever think things are going well and you sit, wait, anticipate when is the bad going to happen? Work is good, kids are good, losing weight is going good. I just sat back and now Im waiting for that shoe. If your luck is anything like mine...its gonna happen. lol.

I went to my docter the other day. The cranky pulmonologist who rxed the diet meds, and said those who are fat are chosing to be so.  I went to his secretary to get a note for work..how lame is it you need a permission slip to drink water at the age of 30? yea tell me about it! The dr walked to his waiting area and he said OMG! come talk to me. He looked at me and said...you have lost so much weight, you are looking amazing...this coming from the man who had nothing nice to say about me. To the point of telling me, I would never be beautiful, but more cute. (oy, god bless men and their mouths) It made me feel so good that he of all people would notice.

Thank you once again for taking the time to care about my family and me.  It means a lot to us.

Love, Gail