For the past 2 months I have not lost any weight! I exercise regularly, but I cannot seem to conquer food. I feel so defeated. It makes me so aggrivated that I work so hard to exercise (one of the things I hate most in the whole world), but I cannot seem to make any progress! I know exercise has many benefits other than weight loss, so it is not all for nothing. But the ONLY reason I am exercising is to lose weight.
Last night I ate at O'Charley's. I had 2 buttered rolls, a side salad, onion rings, fries, and chicken fingers. Then when I got home, I had 2 tall glasses of low sugar chocolate milk. I HAVE to low carb to lose due to my PCOS condition. It seems I screw up atleast once a day by eating when not hungry or giving in to cravings at night. Monday night I ate a box of cereal at midnight! This is so typical lately.
I was going to record what I eat daily in a blog, but I don't have that kind of time to blog daily or to record every bite I take.
Good news: I have increased my walking to 2.5 miles a day and have been drinking tons of water. I will add strength training this week.
I still do my motivational devotions every day, but apparantly they are not helping. Why can't I just eat right? It sounds so freaking easy! I am so pathetic. I truly feel I will not lose hardly any more weight. I do not believe I will ever reach my goal. I don't want to be the fat teacher at work.
We are going to Wild Adventures next month. The last time I went, I weighed the same as I do now and they had to squeeze me into a roller coaster with my daughter. I was so embarrassed. I told my daughter that I could not ride with her this time. She is disappointed.
I have been so bad lately. China Buffet, Oreo's with milk, Wendy's burgers and fries, pasta, buttery popcorn, reduced activity.....I really need to record what I eat in here, but I don't like the food log on this site. I might just add it to my blog as a reminder. Sometimes I forget I was bad or did not exercise and when I weigh, I am disappointed.
I am so bored with the choices of food in my kitchen. I almost would rather not eat than to choose something in there. And I hate to cook, so I am at a loss.
Well, Monday's weigh in was aweful. Sunday we had taco bell, so I was going to use today's as the official weigh in. It was the same. So I have not lost a single pound this week. How frustrating! I exercised a lot. One day I walked my 2 miles and then cut the front yard. Another day I walked, did yoga, and then did 1/2 of a video. I ate pretty good. I am sure I could have eaten better, but I would say I did an alright job. I drank lots of water. I am so annoyed!
This week is going to be hard. I am housing my sick sister-in-law who has 2 kids, one of which is a baby. She is pretty much totally dependent on me. I am not the most patient person in the world, so I am really struggling with this! I have a short fuse and ALL kids annoy me. So we have her two and my two. There is total fussing of the older kids, ages 5-9, and the baby is a mama's boy who cries when I am not walking around with him. I want to help her, but I am also wanting to be selfish. This is MY summer vacation! I have not had many days to sit at home with no company and relax! Plus, I have not exercised with her here since I am constantly watching kids. And shamefully, I am glad for that excuse.
Pray for me. Pray she gets "well." Pray that I have enough will power to lose some weight this week. Pray that I have the patience to deal with these kids without blowing a fuse.
Down 3.6 pounds this week! I did not keep my goals for the week. I only walked 2 miles 3 days instead of 4, and I did no yoga. But, I am happy with my results. I have been in the 240's for over a month, so I am ready to move on. It would be nice if I could start back to work under 230. That would be almost impossible for my body. That does not mean I won't try!
DH does not want to weigh for one month and wants me to hide the scales. I weigh everytime I go in the bathroom...lol, so I guess hiding them will be good for me too. I will only weigh once a week.
Weekly goals:
1. walk 2 miles 4 days this week
2. drink water between all meals
3. no bread/pasta/potatoes this week (July 4 excluded if impossible)
Yesterday I thought I would be bad for no apparant reason and went to Hardees. I ordered a fat burger, 5 piece boneless buffalo wings, and 2 orders of fries. I ate the 2 orders of fries on the way home. After I got home, I was full and felt guilty. But I still ate the wings. I did not eat the burger....oh well. Glad I did my 2 mile walk early!
Today, I had a TERRIBLE day with my kids. One of my daughters has ADHD and ODD, which makes her almost unbearable at times. Today was no different. So I wanted to "medicate" myself with Chinese Buffet. Then for dinner I had a whole box of cheese stuffed garlic bread sticks. And right now I am easing the tension with several Margaritas. Plus, I did not exercise today. No wonder I am so slow at weight loss!
Tomorrow is a new day.....
Weightloss Reason # 3: I don't want my thighs to rub together!
Secret: I am a compulsive weigher. I know dieters are only supposed to weigh once a week, but I weigh several times a day! I can't help it. Today I am putting the scales away for one week.
Goals for the week:
1. Don't weigh until Monday a.m.
2. Walk 2 miles on 4 different days.
3. Do a cardio workout or yoga 2 days.
4. Drink 2 large glasses of water daily.
Weightloss reason # 2: I don't want a flabby stomach that constantly sweats underneath. YUCK! (boy that was personal!!)
Well, I told you guys how walked till I almost passed out/ puked yesterday. After I finally cooled off and recovered, I felt kind of glad I had done it (not that I would do THAT again). During the day I ate like I was supposed to and even turned down grilled garlic bread at diinner! I had made it through the day with no mistakes. BUT.... stupidly at midnight I had a bowl of cereal, a piece of garlic bread, and a homemade hamburger. This is an example of how I manage to screw up. I weighed when I woke up and did not gain, but I bet I would have lost!
Today is a new day.
I saw that on one of you guys' blogs it ended with reasons you want to lose weight. I think that is a wonderful idea and forces you to think of why you are doing this each time you blog. I thnk I will borrow that idea, although all of our reasons are probably mostly the same. So here goes....
Reason 1: I don't want to be ashamed of my body, anymore!
I started my weight loss at 277 lbs on February 1. That was my highest weight ever. It sure felt hopeless. When I saw that number, I automatically rounded it to 300 pounds. How did I get to 300 lbs?!?!
I thought I'd never be able to lose it! I have PCOS, a disease that has many symptoms. The symptoms are cysts on ovaries, obesity, insulin resistance, trouble losing weight, borderline diabetes, depression, no periods, hot flashes, and high cholesterol. Other women may also have excess hair or hair loss, but thankfully, I don't have this symptom. I am on many medications to correct all these symptoms to try to control my PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome).
I have tried all the diets from calorie counting to low fat to clinics to atkins to pills to liquid diets to shakes to trying to starve myself. They would work for a while, but eventually I failed and gained more than I had lost.
I was a binge eater on weekends and a fast food/Chinese Buffet junkie. I could not control myself. My husband was too. He weighed over 500 pounds in January--his breaking point.
He started his diet in January and has currently lost almost 100 pounds in 6 months. I am so proud of him. I got on the bandwagon in February and I have lost about 30 pounds in 5 months. I am low carbing because I am borderline diabetic. I figured this must be the right diet for my body due to my condition.
I HATE EXERCISE! I really struggle with the motivation to exercise. I hate being hot and sweaty. I want to exercise, but can never make myself do it. My husband exercises every night and encourages me to exercise. I just can't seem to do it regularly.
Today I got the motivation to go walking. I thought I would walk briskly for an hour. So I took off and when I had been gone for 30 minutes, I turned around to head back home. Long before my house I got overheated in this hot Florida sun. I did not bring water, either. I felt like I was going to puke and faint. I did not think I would make it home. It was very scarey.
Well, that's my story and what I did today. Peace out!
Well, Monday's weigh in was aweful. Sunday we had taco bell, so I was going to use today's as the official weigh in. It was the same. So I have not lost a single pound this week. How frustrating! I exercised a lot. One day I walked my 2 miles and then cut the front yard. Another day I walked, did yoga, and then did 1/2 of a video. I ate pretty good. I am sure I could have eaten better, but I would say I did an alright job. I drank lots of water. I am so annoyed!