Diet.com

 You may find me at at <a href="http://www.diet.com"> Diet.com </a> as chefsy.

 But I will still constantly read through everyone's blogs, get to comment back of course. 

Realizing fix my lifestyle again

I am back to working out at the gym however I've got to push myself forward to attend more than 2x a week increase to 4x a week in order to maximize and get in touch with my entire body. I am still in the process of having to gain my endurance and my adrenaline in order to move more, although I do feel like giving up especially during my two days training with my power pack ( 2 free training with a trainer ) It almost made me cry bullocks. She must've had been festive over knowing that I was undergoing agony over the first set of my trial work out introduction back at the gym. Yesterday, I did 20-30 minutes, 2 set from the dance class and 25 minutes of fast walk/jog, 40 crunches from the abs machine and 20 side shaper. I learnt though that I have to fix my eating lifestyle although I've been munching on vegetables and protein to every main meal but it's so much better to re-adjust it, spread it to 5 small meals a day to rev up my metabolism. There's a bunch more challenge for me to conquer since I'm crunching back to a better change. Talk about having to stay at the sauna room for 15 minutes without giving up, I can't even stand 3 minutes inside!! I have to rejuvenate and hydrate up back to finishing 2 liters of water. 42% of fat to get rid of. Depressing.

Starting fresh burn the percentage

I AM GOING TO START FRESH and take all these medicated ballooning out of my body. It has been a roller coaster ride wherein I have been hiding from people, not wanting to dress up, shop nor get to seen eating. I know I have been well because I took my medicine accordingly but what I didn't know was the side effect would be this much. I have enrolled myself back at the gym, taking vitamins, having G5 Fat buster massage treatment but of course these won't work if action won't go together with my first steps. I no longer want to hide nor would I want to fall pity on myself because the boyfriend cheated on me and we no longer talk nor I intend to do so not until i get my svelt body back and show him off a revenge by ramping at the beach from the resort he's working at, get to dominate my confidence the way I used to carry myself. I have to pick up all my lost pieces, it's pretty annoying, irritating and I have been crying buckets and tons of denials but my clothes has been telling me that I really need to shrink. 42% of fat according to my body analysis at the gym which I need to burn it down to 18%. I don't want to have diabetes nor get osteoporosis aside from feeling down low which is affecting also my career. I have been stagnant and bumming, not having to work all because of this disposition. I need to look good, trim down in order for me to achieve what I would want to be. FLIGHT ATTENDANT, CHEF and a HOTELIER needs to trim down and be healthy. I can't afford to be sick all the time because I have weak knees due to my weight, right? i have to stand up, chin up and get my body back to how I used to look like. CHUNKY but TONED and HEALTHY. I'm crying and I can't take it anymore. Everyday, I'm stuck at home. Off I head on to the gym for a retro dance and cardio. Please Help me, I hope there will be some of you who can help me too.

renovating on self

I am not going anywhere but I will have to crunch myself and make him regret that I was the one whom he really decided to play cheaters with. It's a continuous action, every single day I've got to get into portion control if not well dive myself on vegetables, my vitamins but I've got to let go of Pepsi after years of not having them, now, after having one to two to three.. I'm letting go of it. 30 lbs to rock on lose! I'm done with my medical weight issues, It's time to take off these extra baggages I've got. I knew it! From 15 lbs blew up to 30 lbs to lose but hey, it's so much better that I ballooned rather than having to be sick forever, right? One day at a time and I started going out, felt my adrenaline coming back (thank heavens) and my hair cut shorter like a kid again thus I've got to do next is to really motivate myself at the gym for more cardio bliss thus 30 lbs to take off. It's going to be off!! I want to go on wakeboarding, ya know!

CHEATERS

Do you want to read something really depressing, heart wrecking, impulse spreading with fireworks on your both ears, the rage that one can't even explain how to release?

It's having to find out that your potential boy who once was your beau cheated you back for his ex-girlfriend who has a fiance but only because she's LIGHTER, SEXIER and CAPABLE for some sexy time - you were temporarily neglected on being seen or having to be visited.

That's plain stupid and so is my paranoia.

It's been a month already since I got back here in my home country and although I went through horrible tremendous weight gain in the States and had unfortunate encounter that made me take steroids, I bloated without caloric effort. It's such a disgrace and depressing having not to wear the clothes you used to show off and having not to wear that bikini nor clothes that show shame.

I'm trying to be comfortable with my own skin but I will NOT DENY that I'm horribly in pain emotionally and as much as I would want to cry, tears won't do as much since the real score is that my self-esteem has been challenged.

Difficult, Yes.

22 kgs more and that's not easy. I'm aiming for Christmas and I too haven't showed up to any of my other relatives since my crazy relatives are all about "Weight" and nothing else but "Weight".

I'm tired of the entire  "You've got such a pretty face.. what more if you lost all the extra weight?" 

Its almost the end of September and I'm very much glad I have stayed away from sweet temptations such as donuts, cakes and those alike. THAT IM PROUD OF.

All that I've got myself challenged and scared most is that WHEN he finally decide to visit me, I'd want to look my best and him somewhat or do get impressed that I HAVE LOST THAT MUCH within the span time he missed out on a lot about me.

I want him to see me in the process of getting back in shape. I'm sure he'd soon show up but I NO LONGER know if I'd still have much heart to welcome him back.

October I'd be able to groove, move and get back to shaping since I have already renewed my gym membership, will finally get employed and start working again and get back walking on my feet.

Time flew so fast, a day should not be too hard to handle but real life kicks us with a lot of setbacks.

CHEATERS! I DONT GET IT, WHY WHY WHY!! I love him still but I love myself too, I want to take the sweet revenge having myself work on my flaws reversed.

WATCH OUT, boy!

recovering

On Diuretics, it's been crazy 3 day therapy and within almost a month of restricting myself from certain carbohydrates except for the greens, tofu and lean meat - 8 lbs down! From 64kgs I'm down to 62 kgs. I've yet to take off 10kgs before I go straight to the last 2 kgs. It sure is tough! I hope in 4 months time I'd be able to get back to shape and wear all my clothes plus spend on shopping once again. Life!

SETP 7, DAY 2

I should've posted last night and my food log in before I went to bed or before I even went out with my brother to visit a friend for his birthday.

Breakfast

As far as I can remember, I was in control except that I'm withdrawing from my steroids since I no longer am popping any dosages. I had a migraine and puked soon after my breakfast which made me think that I just threw up the food I had which made it partly great but I hate hate migraines and puking plus the feeling of being so slouchy, groggy, tired the second you stood up from a long sleep.

Lunch

I ate out with a friend and had Grilled Chicken and Salad, few bites of Cheese & Garlic quesadillas from Mexicali Restaurant. Thank heavens that Asian food has small amount of serving! I was full instantly with the help also of the Calamansi Juice that I drank.

Dinner

1.4 cup of rice and chicken adobo ( chicken cooked on soy sauce with egg ) and a piece of egg.

I ate on time too!

Verdict

Very much impressed that I was able to control myself although it was really a hard day on me starting it off on puking my breakfast due to my withrdawals from the steroids; it was so far great!

SINFUL PART

I had CAKE when I got to our friend's place since it was his birthday and I was very much depressed when my boyfriend couldn't make it; and we havent seen each other for 2 weeks!!

Conclusion

Should get back and work on my impulse plus my emotions. I won't get anything in the long run if I hop back to sweets as my comfort food or food for rebellion.

Comfor foods are temporary bliss.

Day 1 Striked TODAY

So, After a couple of months struggling from Winter Wonderland and having the butte as my motivation to loose weight which made me take off my first 7 lbs but due to the medications that I am taking, which I'm on the last set within this week. I AM NOT ALLOWING the medication to take control over me completely anymore! Sure it did bloat me as if I'm ready to get pinned but I can do some prevention rather than tolerating it, right?

Food Journal

Brunch:  1 bowl of Quaker  Oatmeal cooked on Skim Milk and 1 tbsp sugar

Late Lunch:   Few strips of Chicken fingers, home made.

Mid-snack:  Chinese Mammon and little dash of sugar

Dinner: 1 bowl of Quaker Oatmeal cooked on Skim Milk and 1 tbsp sugar


Verdict:

I'm too much having SUGAR which I will need to purchase HONEY the next time my family goes out for the grocery as replacement for the Sugar on my Oatmeal.

Such a sweet tooth but I no longer am a fan for Chocolates, I've had enough - so far, I abstain!

Soon

I will need to incorporate walking or any form of exercise again on my routine soon as my adrenaline comes back. This predisone I'm on medication for is terribly depressing; I just really have to get going but I always turn out too lazy, sleepy and tired without any effort soon as I hop myself out from the bed.

What game plan?

Since I will have to start from being idle to moderate to active, I've yet to score on what game plan in order to lose. A start will always be a good sign and to pursue on it with much motivation, determination and being religious to the lifestyle change will make it happen.

I am not a failure, it just so happen things didn't run the way as planned due to the steroids I have to take which made me bloat without any caloric efforts.

Equipments

- Weigh scale
- Desk Calendar
- rubber shoes
- active wear

The basics. Now, What else am I going to do next? I'm thinking, which I'm hoping I'll be able to religiously LOG IN my FOOD INTAKE in this journal or get to write them down then log them here. With all Honesty.

Observations:

- I barely eat rice or if I do, I barely still do.
- I'd rather have greens then partly protein in it, or tofu to fill me up.
- Water, water, water. Essential Water
- I'm so much of a Breakfast Person & I'm back to eating Oatmeal in the morning rather cereals; have a heavy breakfast of garlic rice and hotdogs or eggs.  I NEVER MISS BREAKFAST; the most important meal.

Game Plan

- re-learn and practice Portion control - again.
- no more chocolates, donuts and the like.
- no alcohol nor jaeger or martini's not until weight loss goal reached.

I've got to stay positively religious and get going. ONE DAY AT A TIME. I do get impatient ( who doesn't ) but Patience is a virtue that I've got to deal with.

I've got to do more cardio before I do some weight lifting or before I head back to the gym for tone.

Back HOME

It's been quite sometime since I last posted and there has been a lot that has happened. Here I am writing in my thoughts about weight-loss and how it turned out for me the entire August, Phew! The month flew in so fast half of me wanted to get back to it but there's also a part I wouldn't want to touch base again with.

August is my birth month and I unbelieveably spent my 23rd birthday in NEW YORK CITY!! The city I have always been obsessing about since I can't remember when. Although there were unfortunate events that had happened which gave me more reason to come back here in Manila ( My Home country, Philippines!) It will always be the inspiration for me to crunch back.

The broadway shows, walking, the lifestyle I spent myself with on having Bikram Yoga, Pilates, Walking from West to East,  Musical theater dance classes and having to eat more vegetables and raw japanese food - how can you possibly not love New York City?!

What went wrong? I was bitten by bed bugs which caused me allergies all over my body! I was given medication, ON STEROIDS which made me bloat like a balloon ready to get pinned in order to deflate. I was DISGUSTING, DIRTY but I cared not since I still walked around nonetheless, continued my life and just head on toward experiencing New York.  Just right before I flew in to get back to manila I blew 4 sizes up and it was the most depressing part.

How saddened I was not having to do shopping since I blew 4 sizes up from the steroids, I had to leave the beautiful city I found myself breathing with and contented with, right?

So, here I am on the last week of my steroids and then I'll have to get into diuretics and I don't know what kind of detox that I'll be in to get rid of the water retention, few of the weight gain I'm carrying and then I'll be able to do have myself move towards fitness again.

It's so damn hard to carry this body, my foot just ache and although I love my boyfriend for accepting me for the way that I am and I have realized how lucky I am that there's this man I went home to who may have been surprised on how humongous I gained; how disgusting I looked like with all these squid ink like spots that I have on my body - loves me still the way that I am but of course we both can't help but tease myself on how much bear I am right now; He's making me promise to lose the first 10 lbs then get into a realistic goal.

Mid September hopefully will be the start of my NEW weight loss journey. I do have to get back to sweat, which isn't much of a problem supposedly now that I'm in a tropical third world country; get back to the world of being employed and finally settle the bills I've yet to pay ( God, dollars currency! ) then move on to a lifestyle that I'll be able to stick with.

Although there's no JENNY CRAIG here in Manila, I still do look forward to every video post that Valerie update us with. She's such an inspiration that I know I can get back to this journey without feeling too down ( but of course there will always be roller coaster ride due to raging hormones! ) I'd like to think that having to read her journal from Day 1 up until this date, I can also lose as much as she does. EVERY POUND COUNTS and EVERY INCH DOES.

25 lbs in 15 weeks? That's going to be my December Christmas gift for myself and also for my boyfriend. I need my self-esteem back and I need to do this for myself with an inspiration from my love.

HELP. I hope you women are still there to pull me up. How did things go with you?

xoxo,
kas