Let’s get one thing straight, love is amazing but relationships are not the answer to your happiness. Self love comes first in which enables you to make wise choices when it comes to setting yourself boundaries; be it in your professional or personal life. Self love consists of accepting yourself and others as they are, treating yourself and others with respect (this includes mental and physical health), swimming in your own personal pool of passions and eventually letting somebody else into your pool and not consider them a threat but an ally in this journey called life. Now let’s talk about how this affects relationships, a.k.a love.
True love also means self sacrifice and only the lovingly willing will be able to survive. I suggest you write this somewhere; whether it's in your hand or in your head, by all means remember it, because this is what holds an entire relationship together. It's important that our other half respect us but it's also important to respect them. Life is not about winning or losing...it's about making decisions that will end up making you happy. Happiness is nothing durable. It constantly needs to be renewed, therefore throw away whatever specific thought you have in mind about happiness. Happiness doesn’t only have one face, it has hundreds, thousands, even millions! Love is what keeps that flame of yours lit...either it be your love for economy, politics, literature, your family, heck, even your dog, love is the foundation of your life as well as your own happiness. It's crucial for a person to distinguish the artificial from what's real. A healthy relationship, like we've heard plenty of times before, is a healthy balance of give and take. This also means your relationship with your parents, your lover, your dog, your job, your studies, etc. For the confused, putting all of these into order of priority may seem difficult. All you have to do is ask yourself : what can I do for them and what can they do for me? Then note this on a piece of paper. The real can be described as something human, aka an emotional being. Nothing would exist if it were not for these emotional beings, therefore it's important not to forget what's real in your life when you get so wrapped up in hobbies or other passions. For example, a fisherman decides to dump his gf of three years because she doesn't approve of him fishing until 1am 3 days a week. He sees himself as an individual and claims his right to do what he wants. He feels disrespected and believes that he could be happier without her because he would be able to fish anytime and anywhere without her always on his back about it. By thinking this, he's immediately disrespecting HER. She has feelings, needs, and he doesn't make it a priority at all. In this case, both are at fault. Things would have been less complicated if they both had agreed to meet half-way or as they call it, compromise. The fisherman's gf could have shared her feelings about him fishing so late and so often and he could of told her how important it is to him to have a few hours on his own or with his friends doing what he so desperately loves to do.
By doing so, they'd enter phase 1 of compromising: Understanding. After phase 1 comes phase 2, empathy...also called "putting yourself in the person's place". After phase 2 comes phase 3, the actual compromise. Understand that this compromise isn’t made with disappointment or resentment, it's made with love for this person that you respect. It makes you happy to make her or him happy and you'll feel thrilled that you've opened the lines of communication, helping both of you understand one another more than before.
The lesson here is that love is about putting others first. Love is not a selfish act. Even so, you should never forget yourself because what’s important is being happy.
That's me this week and I'm loving it -- really! I can't remember the last time I was this busy and I don't see an end to it...ever. lol I'm sorry for not commenting or posting as much as before but I'll try harder, I promise!!
Yesterday was drama-rama at work..the bitchy coworker snapped at me and was a real bitch and told everyone how i wasnt suppose to have helped the new girl and that it should only be her and that her and her boss talked about how it might be a problem since the new girl is my friend. SHEESH. I hardly talk to my friend at work and if ever i get caught chatting her up, i get a slap on the wrist. BUT, its ok if they get to spend over an hour in other people's offices.....did i miss something here?? And they dont complain when i go see other people so this is getting on my nerves a lil...
Yesterday I also met up with a friend to sign up for badminton but apparently it doesnt start before sept. 2nd. OOPS! We didnt know..but at lease i got to spend some time with my old college friend.Was fun catching up....and we accidentally walked into a boys locker room while asking for directions to the gymnasium..haha..some man smirked at us and told us we werent suppose to be there. lol then a bizilion teenage boys walked in..halk naked...ummm....how embaressing! haha
Foodwise i did alright but somehow i had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at 9pm cause my supper was so small (was upset and i wasnt hungry). And I only walked 30 minutes as for exercise goes....
Lately i've been all over the place emotionally and it's making me really stressed out and anxious *sigh* Makes me feel sick...keeps me from sleeping peacefully...but yeah...I try to keep this as quiet as i can. I don't want people worrying about me...things will work themselves out ...if i let them.
So my goal nowadays is work on my well-being and inner-peace. I cant spend my time worrying about my ex'es problems (that are obviously linked to some mental sickness) because ive tried to help him and i just cant anymore. It's destroying me. I need to register this and just accept it. But it all makes me feel so bad ...
I'll copy and paste something I wrote a year ago in my next post and I'd appreciate it more than anything if you read it and commented on it....
As much as I am thrilled my friend's working with me, I feel bad for not lunching with her. Meaning, not working out during my lunchbreak. I talked to her about it yesterday and she seemed comprehensive enough...so I guess i'll keep working out like usual =D
Yesterday I ate..
B=: oatmeal 260 cals
L: turkey sandwich, v8 and carrots = 400cals
Snack: Grapes (100cals)
Dinner: terriyaki egg noodle stir fry with tons of veggies and canned shrimp (350cals)
Dessert: cookie pack, yogurt (190cals)
Night snack : popcorn and gulp..pepsi! (250cals)
I shouldnt of had the pepsi. lol. Ah well. At lease i did 35 minutes of upper body strenght training and 10 minutes of ab work! AND...I took a 45 minute walk outside after supper. I'm pretty proud of myself =D Trying to fit atlease 30minutes of cardio every day...even on the days i strenght train.
Today I'm running outside (oh crap i forgot my hat and sunglasses and towel..lol) . I'll still go with my water bottle and a bunch of brown paper to dry myself with after my shower...they have shampoo and soap there.) We're doing 5 min run and 1 min walk i think? not too sure....im going with my gym buddy again
Tonight I'm suppose to buy a new badminton racket with my old badminton buddy from college...we both dont own a car so we'll see how that goes =P I'll find a few places and propose em to her.....then tomorrow we're suppose to sign up and play!! weeeeeeee. I'm kinda nervous and excited...all at the same time ;)
And OH! I told my ex that it wasnt a good idea for him and I to see eachother anymore...that it was bad for my health =P So hopefully my heart will mend a lil faster now! and.....the hotty is coming back from Europe next week! EEEEK. lol
teehee. lol. Ok, I overindulged during my vacation but didnt go overboard and I slacked off on the exercise. I had a blast at my parent's cottage ..just taking it easy and relaxing. I'll weigh myself in mid-september because right now I'm back at work...meaning..back at the gym!!! Plus I'll add a 30-60 min walk to my days (or badminton).
Don't have a lot to report..I'm trying to be more organized these days =) And oh..my ex is leaving in 20 days for switzerland and keeps bugging me to hang out..i sorta can't wait that he leaves for good..i really dont need him in my life!! On another note, my friend with cerebral palsy just got engaged to her 9month bf. I'm real happy for her =D He wore a knight outfit and everything..proposed to her in a restaurant saying how much he loves her and wants to treat her like a princess. Really sweet. But......when i talked to her on the phone, all she would talk about is how much in love with her he is. Self esteem problem? I'm not sure. It makes me sorta uneasy.......am I bad for feeling like this?
I've got my eye on this 26yr old man that loves traveling, photography, badminton, the outdoors...has a condo, great car and a great job. I think I'm ready to start some new single adventures. lol I'll be sure to tell you girls all about it =P I hope he's not crosseyed or too weird..or a huge perv or wayyy too into himself. *crosses her fingers* I guess that's the fun thing about dating, you never know what you'll get =P like those mystery chocolates in assorted boxes when you've lost the card with all the names on em. lol
My closest friend got a job at the same department as me ;) I'm the one who reffered her...and her first day is today!!!!!! Hopefully she'll want to stick around..........I'm so glad to finally have someone decent working with me. lol
Hope you girls have a great monday!! I'll comment later tonight xox wayyy too busy catching up at work
Yesterday's food was good, I didnt eat anything bad at all and exercised a lot. I went to the pre-screening of Tropic Thunder.....it was kinda funny but dumb-funny....wouldnt see it again, though. It was great for a free movie. lol. I love my connections ;)
This morning started with donuts holes. lol. oops..and lunch will be a club tortilla wrap with ceasar salad with the peeps at work. ..and supper will be sushi i think...either that or something terriyaki with rice at an asian restaurant for my b-day supper with friends and THEN I'll get completely wasted and dance the night away. lol. LOTS OF CALORIES! I've has 2 low cal days so today is my high day (cheat day)...with dancing as my exercise. This means i need to be careful when i eat out tomorrow and other days but that's ok, i know i'll make better choices.
Weight is at 169.6 AGAIN. But, I feel so small =D My stomach is getting smaller!!!
Today is my last day of work before my 2 weeks vacation, so i'm afraid this is my last post for a while. I need time away from everything. I washed the bathroom at 9:30pm last night and left my floors and room untouched...erg! Well almost untouched..i kinda tidied my room this morning. My parents are staying the weekend before taking me back home so i needed to get my place in order...they're actually coming tonight but i might not see them until tomorrow morning.
I'll miss you girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a great two weeks xoxox I'll make sure to exercise and behave while im gone, i promise!
soooooo the dumb dumb ended up being me. I was told horrible things last night and if I ever had a heart, I think he just ripped it out of my chest and threw it out the window this time. It's weird being told by someone you were with for a long time that they only have affection for you and is not in love...doesnt feel anything when they see you and arent excited about seeing you because they're too comfortable or whatever. Yup. And he didnt want to keep putting wood in the fire because to him, there is no fire to feed.
So..tough love..I can't see him anymore..I will not contact him and when I think of him, I'll distract myself and think of other things..I have to. Even if I'd want him to take me back, he doesnt love me. He considers me a friend. Well, sorry buddy but you can't just stop loving me ..treat me like crap and then say you care about me. Something about him disgusts me --- maybe that he never grasped who I really am and love me for it. Too bad for him.
Today starts my mourning. For real. We'Re over and I need to accept that and move on. My life isnt stopping.....it's moving forward like it's always had.
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WEIGHTLOSS
Yesterday'S Food log
B= Oatmeal (260cals..overestimated the cals yesterday)
L = Healthy frozen dinner, v8, yogurt = 435cals
Sn = Carrots (30cals)
Dinn= Quiznos small sub (500cals)
Total : 1225Cals.
I obviously didn't eat enough yesterday...and I doubt I'll eat a lot today. I have PMS so I took some midol for the mild pain..hoping it won't transform into this one big monster.
My arms are sore from yesterday's strenght training =D It was a good workout...now today i'm suppose to go running 30-35mins outside with my gym buddy and do abs for 10mins. I need her to slap me around a lil...I need to smile and laugh again..and i have to stop blaming myself.
....I'm lucky enough to know that there's a man out there that loves everything about me and is a hopeless romantic and poet...but..I'm waiting a while before starting anything with him. I dont want him to be just a rebound. I need to heal so I can love him the right way....and with an honest heart. Thing is, I never met him and he's from Wyoming. lol. Long story. Known him for years..this isnt just recent. I sort of feel bad but not really, since I'm not in love with him (obviously id need to be with him to know that). He'd move here in a heartbeat but lately has some financial probs..hes even having trouble finding tuition money to do his masters. He's agreed to come see me as soon as he can but I'm just not ready yet..I'm on a break from men and love in general.
A few months back he broke up from an almost 2 yr relationship with this girl whom he spent tons of dollars on medical care for her so he's basically in debt cause he did that (I told him...dont spend that much money on a girl unless you're married! lol). So he's currently working insane hours to clear his debt so he can go to school.
It's a complicated story..the only reason I'd go through it is because both of us are positive and really want eachother that we know we'll find a way to be together =D Kinda really romantic..heck..it's exactly what i want. he'S
Sensitive, caring, emotional, gentle, easy going, calm, generous, very thoughtful, a gifted writer and poet, musically inclined, romantic, attentive (he remembers the smallest of details about me), intelligent, interesting, funny, weird..and we have soo many common interests. Only set back? He's not a super hunk . Deal breaker? hell no. Reading this list....I'm wondering what the heck i'm waiting for to meet this guy! lol
So sorry for this novel...but it's my blog and ..I'll be a lil personal at times. hehe. You don't have to comment if you feel like you might upset me..but even if it is the case, I rather you express yourself =D I'm a pretty understanding person.
Yesterday my eating was great! Besides the tons of social tea cookies i had that night, I had done damn well!!! But for some reason I had to fill this void and I did it by eating. I thought I was hungry so I ate and ate and ate. *sigh* here's my food log.
B : Oatmeal (320 cals)
L : Blue Menu indian frozen meal with V8 and yogurt (435 cals)
Snack : Grapes and pineapple (120cals?)
Dinner : 2 fake crab spring rolls and 1 battered fish in the oven (300cals) 1 glass high fibre and low sodium v8 : 130cals
Dessert : Go gurt tube (60 cals)
Snack : motts apple puré (150cals) and a bizilion social tea cookies (250cals)
Total : 1735ish. OW.
What ruined my day? THE LATE NIGHT SNACKING. I should have stopped after the motts =( My plan is to maybe read at night when i have a sudden urge for food...........my book? The other Boleyne girl. =D I bought the entire series of books related to it. I'm also watching the Tudors lately about King Henry the 8th of England...I love historical novels, especially when they're full of drama, secrets and passion..man i'd of hated to be royal in those days!!!!! Always scared of getting murdered. lol
Tonight Dumb Dumb is coming over to talk. I can't wait for the day he leaves for Switzerland and I'm forced to get over him. I can be sooo weak when it comes to love.
Friday we're all going out to lunch at work to say goodbye to our summer students....so no work out...(except for the dancing I'll be doing that night!!). Today i'm concentrating on my arms. =D I'm sure it's going to be a great workout!!! I'm gonna do pushups on a bosu like my friend suggested while i still have the energy right at the beginning and tomorrow I'm running outside with my friend (running in pairs is soo much funner than alone!!).
I'm trying to get my apartment in order before I leave for 2 weeks. I have to clean my room today and take out the recycling =D then tomorrow I'm cleaning the bathroom and all the floors...and changing one of my sofas around so this place doesnt feel so empty.
OMG -------- I've got this silly story to tell you girls. Well you know me, weird stuff always seem to happen to me. I forgot my soap and shampoo yesterday for my post-run shower..so obviously I take some in the gym public basket full of products and jump in the shower, glad they have emergency shower products. So I get to the point of washing my hair and this sort of liquid cream comes out of my shampoo so I put MORE in my hands and rub it in my hair. Ha..weird I thought, it wasnt foaming all that much. So whatever, I rince my hair and get out of the shower...and as I dry my hair, my friend takes the same bottle that i had just taken in the shower with me as my shampoo and slaps it in her curly hair....i was like...um..what is that? Then she explained to me that it was straightening cream. LOL I'm not sure if she saw the look in my face but I now know why my hair dried weird and looked greasy afterwards. haha..i'm such a dork!! I washed my hair with straightening cream!!
On this note, I'm leaving you girls on this fine sexay hump day. lol Have a good one!
I still managed to fit in an EXTRA 30 minutes in my day...FYI, this is a challenge Emi and I are doing this week in order to jump up our routine to see if it changes anything. We'Re kinda stuck....buuuuuuut..GUESS WHAT! I'M BACK IN THE 60S!!!!!!!! It's about time. lol I mean, I don't see how much healthier my diet can be and I'm exercising...logically I should lose weight..but this pace is ridiculously slow. I remember being sad when i only lost 1 pound a week. Now what do I think of it? I'D KILL TO LOSE 1 POUND A WEEK! lol but, I'm wiser in the ways of health and fitness now, I do realize that what I'm doing is changing my body and for the better. I don't measure myself. I don't need that as proof...I want to live a normal healthy life and my body will change accordingly when it's ready to change. =D no numbers!
Yesterday I had tuna salad for dinner ...YUM! Been months since I've had that. And you know what? I eat healthier when I DONT have a bf . I eat out less and I make food that I love.......which is always healthy =) Fish, salad, sushi (ok i buy that), fresh spring rolls, soup, chicken...lately I'm looking into being a vegetarian but geezus, give up chicken and fish?! I'm not sure I want to do that.
Last night my inner poet resurfaced I missed her!! Although..as usual..it's always pain that wakes the poet in me...or when I'm ridiculously in love. I wrote some amazing material because I couldn't let it go..I didn't want to wake up tomorrow and forget it all. I really hate being alone at night. It's usually when I miss my ex bf the most...but..I need to be strong and keep my mind occupied. I'll read before going to bed..this way, I won't have to throw myself a pity party every single night. What do you think?
Weightloss front........today is cardio. 30 min run and 20 min of anything else. Tonight I'll take a 30 min walk or do my biggest loser DVD ..AFTER I clean up. I also plan on making spring rolls for supper..hopefully my immitation crab is still good to eat!
Today was suppose to be arms...........I forgot my shoes at home and can't go to the gym!! GRRRRRR...i cant go do weights in sandals so i'm kinda screwed. I'll go walk for an hour and I'll do my Biggest loser strenght training DVD tonight....hopefully it's better than nothing!!! I can't believe i forgot my shoes!!!
My pants feel tight this morning =( NOT good. I'm not gaining so I suppose it's because of TOM. I had an amazing week when it came to food and exercise! I don't understand why the scale won't budge, though. BUT, I must be losing inches so I'm happy about that. I was feeling skinny until this morning...I'm so weird.
My weekend was kinda dull except for Saturday. Went shopping with a friend and ended up buying over 7-8 shirts and a cool new hat (some girls love shoes, I LOVE hats! lol) . I'm trying out this new bohemian artsy look. I like it alot =D I feel like myself in those clothes and hat and people seem to notice me more and...stereotype me. lol I look a lil like a tree hugger but most of all I look like a bubbly, friendly, approchable creative person.
I didnt exercise except for walking all weekend..I was fairly lazy and read all day yesterday and finished another book by Sophie Kinsella, aka Madeleine Wickham called The Gatecrasher (Thanks to shelleys!)
The story was kinda slow and didnt build up to anything and the ending was ..quick and simple, like she didn't WANT to put much thought into it cause she was sick of writing this book. On a 1 to 10 scale I'd give it a 5. It wasnt dreadful but it wasnt as fun as i'd thought it would be....
In short, the story is about a 40 something woman who "GateCrashes" for a living..meaning she attends stranger's funerals in the hopes of finding a rich, lonely widower to rip off, leave and repeat.
On the weightloss front, I'm STUCK. I eat like a health freak and exercise all days of the week...so what's up?!! I've changed my routine..I strenght train more..bah!! Maybe I need to kick it up a notch. It's going to be a challenge starting Aug. 8th....when I'll be on vacation for two entire weeks with my parents who eat a lot and a lot of unhealthy things. I'll also have to push myself in the butt and exercise..even at the cottage. Soooo...my biggest loser DVDS are coming with me!!
Hope you gals have a great week...I'm already counting the days till Friday ;)
he'S
I missed her!! Although..as usual..it's always pain that wakes the poet in me...or when I'm ridiculously in love. I wrote some amazing material because I couldn't let it go..I didn't want to wake up tomorrow and forget it all. I really hate being alone at night. It's usually when I miss my ex bf the most...but..I need to be strong and keep my mind occupied. I'll read before going to bed..this way, I won't have to throw myself a pity party every single night. What do you think?