Day 192 - Self 'Ass'essment

Despite the wobbly bits and the things that I was frightened of when I was fat – namely saggy skin and what my stretchmarks would look like, I can happily state that with practically no real method in my skin care routine but an occasional application of Lush products and Boots’ Mande Lular and copious amounts of bio oil in the dramatic wieghtloss weeks 1-8 and then a Universal Contour wrap series of 3 lots of 1 hour wraps when I reached the end of my 100 days, I seem to have ended up with the following breakdown of what happened to my problem areas.

Before

Stomach
Immense (I am not being ‘a girl’ about this) it was stretched and uncomfortable and I was starting to get stretchmarks running down to my lady bits that itched and were painful – pale red stretchmarks criss crossed it and it had the appearance of cellulite and there were lots of pale cream stretchmarks from when I first became obese 9 years earlier. My waist was about 42 inches and probably then some after Christmas. I even had cellulite on my upper abdominal area.

Arms
So big that most sleeves wouldn’t fit me and I had had to stop wearing shirts and jackets as they rubbed too much – my upper biceps were about 20 inches.

Bust
Over 52 inches, most high street bars didn’t fit me, the stretchmarks were very evident and due to the size of them (each one larger than my head) this was my biggest area of concern – surely losing 15 inches off them mean that they were going to end up around my waist like on some episodes of 10 years younger. Underneath was stretchmarked nad sore from years of ill fitting bras and stretching due to – well – not exactly fungal infections but it must have been quite sweaty and damp under there.

Feet
My feet constantly had some sort of weeping sores on them – I had athlete’s foot, my arches were under immense strain and I hated standing up for any length of time. The would swell up during the day in almost all my shoes and I had to sneak around work in my trainers most days because of the problems with them. Most of all they stank to high heaven. All the time. Nothing I could do would help with this

Legs
The legs were the dealbreaker of my little compact with my secret obesity demon – my inner thighs started to stretch to the point where I was in agony. I got chafing every time I didn’t just wear plain work trousers. The cellulite was so horrendous that I wanted to cry every time I saw it creeping down my legs. I could also tell that another stone or so would have seen my leg fat starting to roll down over my knees – so despite all the other warning signs everywhere else on my body, I think I secretly had told myself what my absolute limit was and it was the possibility of that that scared me into action..

Bum
Once my pride and joy, I had got to the point where my bum fat started above my waist. The cellulite was dreadful – truly dreadful and the more stupid articles that I read about how you never get rid of cellulite, the more I thought ‘what’s the point?’ It was so big that it had just become a square of solid fat.

Gait
I waddled. I didn’t realise it – I had always thought of myself as an elegant person – but apparently I waddled.

After

Stomach
Okay – there are three parts to this – I didn’t mention this in the before section but before I always found certain exercises very hard as I just couldn’t work out where my stomach muscles actually were underneath the fat – now I can see where they are and can use them properly – so that’s the first major difference.

On my back naked – well – if I lie down and suck myself in I have a scooped tummy – if I just lie there relaxed it just flops casually but doesn’t run off over my hips like it used to! Not exactly a bikini beach babe, but I can live with it. On my back in the bath the fat sort of floats into a cute little mound like the beginning of a six pack!

Clothed – You would never know that I had ever had a tummy! Especially when I wear tights and jeans.

Standing up, naked: Hmmm – yes – the word, is, I’m afraid, droopy. But considering the hell that I’ve put it through, you’d be compelled to say ‘Ah now, Sarah, that’s not so bad.’

Yes it’s gathered in the middle and if you wanted to be unkind you could say that it looks a bit like pink Austrian blinds. But y’know what? There are people starving and being tortured in the world – there are more important things in heaven and earth than my droopy tummy.

I have a fabulous brain and I look great in clothes and I absolutely refuse to get hung up about my battle scars. Life is too short. I’ll be dead in 100 years and I can promise you that no one will remember me for the fact that my stomach was a bit saggy – they’ll remember me for the things I say and do – and maybe, if I want to be vain, my lovely eyes and bone structure, poise and stupendous rack!

Arms
If I am honest about this, promise me you won’t get all upset? Right – well – it’s the bit of me I was most worried about - and with good reason – the old bingo wings are the butt of everyone’s jokes, aren’t they? Well – you see the after pictures of the women in the weightloss magazines and they always have what I call a ‘TS’ on (TS = Tactical Shrug/Shawl) and you think to yourself ‘What’s the point in losing all that weight if I have to wear a TS for the rest of my summers?’ I knew there was no way I could get away with it entirely – when you want to halve the circumference of something – there have to be consequences, right?

Well – lets just say, if you look into my overstretched armpits (weirdly where most of the damage seems to have done and also who the hell goes round looking into armpits?) it’s a bit of a wrinkly crevice and if I don’t arrange my arms correctly the wiggle fissures of some of the stretchmarks are visible at the back – but if I carry myself well and don’t flap the old ladies about too much you’d think I went to Pilates class with Madonna. It’s a case of ‘Hands up if you use Right Guard, hands down if you’ve done LighterLife’. The situation is improving, however, on an almost daily basis – so don’t take my tales of woe as gospel and do wait for me to get some muscle tone back into them over the next 3 months!

Bust
My bust has been the most surprisingly pleasing thing about this whole process – now admittedly there are days when the girls just look a bit wrong or like they should be in The National Geographic and if I’m not careful there can be ‘ruching’ (eeep!) and there are bits where the fat has gone down to the breast bone and they look a bit strange when I lie on my back, from the front and the side, although a bit lower than a girl of my age should really have, they are rather nice. I like them, anyway! And the way that they are now gives me hope for what might eventually happen to them – which at the beginning of LL – I really wasn’t convinced about. I’m a 32G, which is possibly one of the most annoying bra sizes I have ever been, but hey – tiny frame, big boobs – Hollywood here I come!

Feet
My feet are slimmer – maybe even half a size smaller – they’ll never be narrow, or pretty, but I have no problems with them, they carry me great distances and they only smell when I leave them in non natural shoes all day!

Legs
Do not believe a word you hear about cellulite being a forever kind of problem. Okay so I’m not going to be modelling swimwear anytime soon, but neither is the paparazzi going to get a shot of my lumpy thighs! They are good enough – and the horrible orange peel must be under there somewhere but you can’t see it any more. LL – I owe you one for this!

Bum
It’s a cute little peach with no cellulite! It does look like I am about 50 though and sort of wrinkles under at the back – it’s had a bit of a shock, poor thing – it’s a shame that we don’t really measure our bums (can you imagine?) because I actually think the poor baby’s done the most work and lost the most volume of any of my body parts. I’m hoping with cycling and a bit of food and TLC it will be back to the very pink of perfection by the end of the year.

Oh – and when I lie on my back it does sort of spread out under my thighs which amuses me, but will hopefully stop before I get any sort of a boyfriend.

Gait
I strut! I gliiiiide! I am a laydee!

Best bits

• My shoulders;
• Back;
• Collarbone;
• Bone structure in my face (get my cheekbones) and;
• Waist
• Most of all my waist.
• Did I mention my waist?
• I am a size 10
• My ankles feel slimmer than they ever have (I have naturally thick ankle bones - thanks, Dad)