Here it is the end of Jan. and I haven't lost a thing.  I'm having the hardest time staying focused.  For a month I've been keeping a food journal on my iphone, and I see exactly why I haven't been loosing.  And exercise... what's that.  All the bad food and sitting around have made me a little depressed, and so the craving for comfort food kicks in.  I've been checking on a gym membership to the gym right around the corner from me, but am thinking twice because of the cost.  I just saw a few pictures of myself taken on new years eve and I was shocked by how overweight I looked.  I have a thin picture of myself on my iphone screen saver, but obviously that's not working.  So maybe I should change it to the hideous fat picture for motivation.

The holidays are OVER ... let the reduction begin!!  I didn't meet my goal of staying even through new years day.  But Im not going to beat myself up about it and stuff another cookie in my mouth.  Time to get busy.  Went to the Gap yesterday and bought three pair of pants.  Two fit well now and the third is a little tight.  In 5 -7 lbs, they will be perfect.  I usually don't buy things that don't fit, but they were such a good deal I couldn't resist.  Gotta go make my egg whites for breakfast now. 

Well I got through turkey day and my b-day and made it back down (yes, I said down) to where I started again.  I told myself I wasn't going to blog again until I was at least here.  I think I need a new goal ... just stay even through New Year.  Christmas is at my house, so yes, green salad and plenty of veggies is on the menu.  I made plans for New Years Eve with a small group to eat at the very best resturant I've ever been to ... The Kitchen.  I've only been there once, about a year ago, so I am really looking forward to going back.  I need to make each day count, so if I spike up a little on the two holidays I can come out even in the end. 

Yeah!!!!!  I made it through without gaining.  I had Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday and then at another house on Friday and even allowed myself a little dessert both times.  Now I've gotta start working at it again.  One holiday down

Finally starting to go down for real.  I saw a lower number on the scale yesterday, but chose not to record it until it's been there awhile (cause that's jacked me before).

I've waking up hungery and ready for breakfast the past few days cause my body has to adjust to not being full every night when I go to bed.  I just got an ipod nano that's saving my life right now, cause I've been spending my evenings importing all my CD's and building my music library - instead of eatting.

The goal now is to get through Thanksgiving without overeatting and gaining.  I'll be struggling with everyone else... so GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!!!

I made it through today and even stayed on program.  Hurray for me

Well, it took me a week to get back to where I started but at least I'm there.  One of the reasons it's so difficult to lose weight is because when I start, then I have to deal wih all the underlying issues that helped put the weight on.  I would love my boyfriend to lose weight too, but he doesn't seem interested in change and it's putting a huge strain on our relationship.  We talked about it, but the proof will come with action, not words.  I choose my health over a relationship if I need to.  I just hope he makes the choice for health also.  What happens wih us happens.  So it's time to concentrate on me, try to keep busy, and not eatting everything. 

Today was better.  A pound of 'the puffy stuff' is off.  The puff always comes off easiest in the beginning.  Oatmeal, tuna, gren salad, tangerine, roasted chicken and grapes were on the menu today.  And no wine for me tonight.  The vino will be one of the hardest to give up for a while.

I don't know if it's because it's starting to get colder or the economy, but I just want to eat everything in site.  Bring on the comfort food.  It's taking all my energy to keep busy and keep from stuffing my face.  Time to vacuum.

Well... dinner, the wine, and dessert did me in.  I'm up 4 lbs  It sure does show when you don't treat yourself right, cause I'm all puffy.  I need to remind myself why I need to change my body.....  the muffin top over my jeans, a double chin is in the beginning stage, back fat, when I turn over in bed, my stomache falls first.

I LOVE clothes! And I'm sick of buying accessories because I don't like the way things look right now.  I'm currently a size 14 and it's impossible to find fashionable discounts at this size.  When I was 2 or 3 sizes smaller, everything fit and looked geat.  Can't wait until I fit into my old wardrobe again.

When I was smaller and in shape, people viewed me differently, with more respect.  If you respect yourself by what you put in your body, others will follow your lead and give you the respect you deserve.  Confidence is also a HUGE side effect when reaching your goal weight.  Nothing is better than the confidence.