Well, last Friday, I had a job interview. And it didn't go well. I was so nervous. I was called that afternoon and told they were going to keep looking because they needed someone with more experience. I laughed at that and asked how much experience did they need. I only had 19 years of it. I guess that wasn't the best reaction to have to a potential employer. Any way it worked out for the best. I was really over qualified(and I'm not just saying that) and I didn't like some of the questions that they asked me. Made me wonder if I wanted the job anyway. So, I'm okay with it.
I had a followup appointment with the GYN today about my cysts. Every thing looks okay, then he said "You know what would solve most of your health problems?", ME: "I know, I know, its hard." But I really wanted to use a phrase that my dad used to use "No s**t Sherlock." There I go with the sarcasm again. He suggested I join a gym, been there and done that. Besides I can't afford it, I'm unemployed. But I have had the earge to go walking.........................
Well, someone just rode by my house on a bike, that might be fun, but risky for me since here lately I am so accident prone.
On a better note, I weighed Sunday morning and I had lost about 6 pounds, which reminds me I need to go update my weight log. I have really tried to cut back on starches and sugars. As long as the depression doesn't get me, I'll do okay.
Didn't exercise today, surprise! I guess I did okay on my eating, but didn't write it down. I worked around the house today, stayed busy. I'm lacking in sleep, I'm just not sleeping well. And for some reason my legs are hurting, just started all of a sudden, like achy hurting about 4 hours ago. It's not like I ran a marathon or something, strange.
I need to cut back on the sarcasm..................... it's going to get me in trouble, or more trouble............
I'm going to bed if I can get my munchkins rounded up.
Well, I went for somewhat of a job interview today kinda, it wasn't really a job interview. It was an employment agency. It went okay. But the lady kept looking at my boobs. Maybe she is jealous, ha. She was pencil thin, works out majorly, but she was nice, very upbeat, I liked her. I was referred to her by a friend, I think she will help me if she can. Just quit looking at my boobs.... And just wait until I go through a real interview with a man..........
Well, here I am, trying this again. It obviously can't hurt because when I quit I gained. I am tired and fed up and just about ready to bust, literally physically and mentally. I never thought I would be at this point, just like my mother and I hate myself for it. I am 40 pounds bigger than when I was at my max 9 months pregnant. That is so pathetic.
I am fighting anger and depression really bad. I know I need to lose weight, but why can't I. What is my problem? I feel awful, I look awful. So what is my problem? I feel like people look at me like I'm disgusting. I get no support from my family, but I'm not trying to blame it on them. It's me, but what is my stupid problem? Its affecting my search for employment(which is another whole blog subject I will persue later)
Since I have been here the last time, there are new features that I'm hoping I can benefit from. I don't remember support groups from before. Also I am giving this blog thing another try, I definately have a lot to vent about. And since I don't have anyone to vent to other than Jesus, I will be blogging alot.
I have not walked/exercised since the time has changed, two weeks ago. It's already dark when I leave work. I have got to figure out what I'm going to do because I am slipping. I can tell a difference in how I feel also. It's a never ending battle.
Sorry I haven't kept in touch lately. I'll try to get back into the blogging again. I've just been really busy. I've not totally blew the whole diet thing, just slowing back sliding. I have to get geared up again.
Well I didn't really lose any this week, but after the PB thing earlier this week, I shouldn't be surprised.
I'm finding it hard to eat the way the dietician told me too. I feel I'm getting to many carbs. I may go back to counting points on the WW plan.
I did get my exercise in last week, in addition to my walking. We(me, hubby, kids) went hiking on a day trip Friday. I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something out in the woods. My legs hurt so bad that night. We want to go back and do some of the more strenous trails, so I 've got to get to work on getting ready for it. As hard as it was, I really enjoyed it and my kids had a great time.
Saturday, I got alot of walking in because we went shopping for about 5-6 hours. My legs were already dead from the day before. But I made it.
And today after church, I did housework for a couple of hours.
I'm just down about the weight thing though, but this week will be better!!!
Yesterdays exercise was push mowing part of the yard and weed trimming. It has been a long time since I did that. My husband usually does it all. I actually enjoyed it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but the muscles in my back sure have been sore today.
Otherwise, I felt pretty good today. I was craving something sweet really bad this afternoon and I didn't give in. I didn't have a starch at lunch just veggies and chicken so maybe that's why I was craving carbs. Then at about 4:00, my energy level plummited. It was all I could do to drive home when I got off of work at 5:00. So when I walked in the door at home, I headed straight for the cabinets and dove into the peanut butter. So I'm sure I went over my calorie intake for the day. On WW, this is called a red flag food for me. And once I was finished, I really didn't feel any better, physically or emotionally. When will I ever learn?!? And I was still so fatigued that I didn't exercise any this evening. But I think I will be okay on skipping one day.
I actually made three laps around on the trail at the park down the road. Each lap is .83, so then I did 2.49 miles in 48 minutes. Just a couple of weeks ago I didn't think I was going to make it around once. It is getting easier, although the lower part of my legs hurt pretty bad sometimes.
And my calorie intake was between 1400 and 1500 today. So I have had a good day. Hope it continues.
This week has been so busy, I've run with the kids all week. Only got to exercise twice. Thought I did okay on my eating but apparently not. I weighed this morning and gained. Crap. I actually thought I had done okay this week. I even went to a birthday party at my parents and didn't over do it like I always have done (more on that subject on a later date) So this week I will:
Get my exercise in , at least 2.5 hours!
Log my food and stay below my 1500 cal. (I have put my own chart together for this. I will enter it on the log here if I have time)
Work at having a positive attitude! (I've been down the last couple of days)
And hopefully I can blog more this week!
Oh! while my son was playing soccer Saturday, there is a trail close by and you can see part of it from the side line of the field. There was a woman jogging the whole time we were there and then some. I want to be able to do that. I find it a struggle to walk right now. I pondering the thought of working up to it.
He suggested I join a gym, been there and done that. Besides I can't afford it, I'm unemployed. But I have had the earge to go walking.........................
it's going to get me in trouble, or more trouble............
.
Hope it continues.