How it feels to be overweight

I want to write a post on how I feel when I am overweight. So when I am healthy I can look back and feel proud at the emotional changes that will occur.

I feel sad. I feel awkward. I feel ugly. I feel uncomfortable in my own body. I feel anxious. I feel depressed.

I have let myself go. I didn't weight myself for months as I didn't have scales. I ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise at all. I was feeling my clothes getting tighter but I convinced myself that I wasn't that bad.

I bought scales a few weeks ago. Hoped on, and was in shock. I thought I was about 63 kg as that is the heaviest I normally get. I couldn't believe it when I read 67 kg. I got an unopened packet of sugar and plonked that on the scales thinking that they must be malfuntioning. It was a 3 kg bag of sugar. The scales read 3 kg excalty.

I cryed. I was shattered.

This journey I am taking is not only going to be a physical transformation but also a mind and soul cleansing process.

Summer is 110 days away. I want to be fit, healthy, toned and glowing by then. Not covered in pimples, bloated, logged with cellulite and gunk. I want to be clean and healthy.

I am doing some form of excersise EVERYDAY as this is a lifestyle change. Not something I stop doing beause it is the weekend.

I am walking up mountains, running up stairs, walking on the beach, running on the waterfront footpath, doing the 30 day shred dvd, doing pilates, kickboxing, bike riding, kayaking and on those days when I have every excuse not to go outside (rain, swooping bird season and hot, humid days) I will have my cross trainer set up in air conditioned comfort in front of the TV at home.

I have NO excuse.

I will eat healthy, low calorie meals. I will be permitted 1200 calories per pay. 3 meals of 400 cals each. Mainly vegetarian food that is low is salt, saturated fat and simple carbs and rich in protein, nutrients and fibre.

I live in an area with an abundance of locally grown organic foods. My town has the highest life expectancy in australia for women as it is such a healthy environment, there is a constant flow of older people out and about staying fit.

I am not joining a gym as that is costly and I can do it without one.

I am sick of putting processed junk into my body. This body deserve more. It has been good to me and I don't want to abuse it any more.

I want to look hot.

I want men to take second glances at me, something they no longer do.

I want to feel fabulous, inside and out.

I want to have confidence.

I want to be happy.