Angry eating

*gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

I am soooooo  angry  with my oldest daughter right now and all I want to do is eat!!!!! I hate feeling this way. I hate being so angry with her and I hate wanting to munch for no reason. As if my eating could actually solve the problem   But somehow it helps me calm down. Why? Why? WHY does eating soothe me? What else can I do to settle down? And why does my daughter have to be such a TWEEN?!?!

*grrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

Pizza: my friend - my foe

Guess what we had for dinner last night?

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE pizza? It's true. I'm an addict! About the only pizza I can easily walk away from is the frozen stuff you can buy at the grocery store. My sister owns 3 pizza shacks and I used to work in one of them before I had kids. Bad gig for me 'cuz free pizza = 30 pounds!

Thankfully I've figured out how to make pizza at home that I LOVE and that doesn't throw me over the WW edge. I really like to make my own dough, but rarely have time for that these days. So now I use either refrigerator dough or the pre-made, personal-size, thin pizza rounds. Love 'em! Oh I know people use pitas or low fat/low call flat bread...but I want pizza crust LOL

I top my pizza with Ragu reduced fat alfredo sauce, broccoli, cauliflower and FF cheese. And it is sooooooooooooo good! I can eat the whole pizza for about 7-8 points and be totally satisfied. BTW, I am LIKING the fat free cheese these days

Just now I got an email from PIzza Hut for their all you can eat buffet! Thank goodness I had my pizza fix last night LOL

100 Reasons to lose 100 Pounds - Part I

Since so many people have been posting their reasons for losing weight and I've been nodding along with most of them, I thought it was time to make and post a list of my own. But I'm way too impatient to be satisfied with just 1 reason a day LOL So here are my first 6 reasons (in no particular order).....

     100. Fluffy really is NOT fabulous!!!!

     99. When family members or friends discuss diet, weightloss and/or exercise I don't want to wonder if they are hinting at me!

     98. I want to enjoy swimsuit shopping

     97. I don't want to feel out of place at the health food store or aisle.

     96. I want my husband's arms to go all the way around me when we embrace.

     95. I want to look GOOOOOOOD when we renew our wedding vows on the beach next summer for our 15th anniversary.

Just an indoor kinda' girl

It's 90-something here today and ridiculously humid but for some reason, I thought it would be a good day to weed the garden. I don't know why. I've never had that compulsion before. At least not since I was 11 and used to weed the garden with my mom.

So I get out the hoe and the rake - did I mention there are A LOT of weeds?... - So I get out the hoe and rake and head out to the garden. Thankfully we have a very small garden! But 15 minutes into the exercise and I had to quit because I thought I was going to faint. Literally faint! And I have nasty blisters on both thumbs!!! Hubby didn't believe I was a delicate flower until I showed him my new owies.

It was good exercise for about 15 minutes! I think I'll try again tomorrow. Only this time I'll wear some gloves :o)

Ramblings of a fat woman...

So I had some Pepsi at a restaurant this weekend. It was almost like a wine tasting LOL I sniffed it and rolled it around in my mouth and really analyzed the taste. And you know what? It wasn't all that good   I think I might be past that craving/totally addicted stage and can have A Pepsi and not dive right back into total addiction. I still refuse to keep any in the house and will probably still drink water when we are out, but I feel better knowing that indulging in one Pepsi with a slice of pizza won't throw me over the edge.

I am working on my "100 reasons to lose 100 pounds" list and it's going great. I'm up to reason #57 and will probably "publish" them in groups of 5 in the next few days.

My weight loss binder is coming along nicely! I finally found my pictures from my first WW journey between daughters #2 and #3 and my before pictures for this time around (we moved a couple months ago) and put those right in the front for inspiration. Right now I am collecting some motivational quotes and before/after pics to throw in there for THOSE days. I even figured out how to get My VIrtual Model to work and printed up models for each of my 10% goals to use as extra motivation. I'll add some pages for measurements, exercise logs and maybe a food journal.

I still struggle with making good choices when we go out to eat. I wonder if I'll ever get that under control? Of course the simple solution is to NOT go out to eat   DUH! But where's the fun in that?

And then there's exercise....My inner brat is rebelling against that right now. But I'll get it together and get back to regular workouts next week. My hubby has ok'd the purchase of the new Firm workout TransFirmNation. I am hoping to order that sometime next month. I'm still looking for something to do with the kids, but I have a few leads.

So all the pieces are falling into place...I just need to keep making good decisions!

Quote for the day:

(Joanne from BCB) 

"The point is that every day you face a hundred tiny weight-loss choices. Some are more significant than others, but all of them add up. Over time, your choices shape you. Literally."

Goodbye............

240s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's true! I am down one pound this week and into a new weight group

Busy day for me. Gotta' run a ton of errands and the kids are still in their jammies!!!

BBL to chat

Goal weight

With 95 pounds left to lose (feels soooo good not to have to say 100  ) I try not to spend too much time thinking about my goal weight, but there are days when I NEED to think about it. I can't remember the correct WW term - but I need to VISUALIZE myself at goal weight to improve my motivation or get me past an obstacle or inner brat temper tantrum. Today is one of those days....

So I went to http://www.healthdiscovery.net/links/calculators/ideal_bw_women.htm and punched in my info and found that my ideal weight is 125 pounds. 125!!! REALLY?!?!? I remember being 120 in 7th grade and feeling fat - but I've aged a little and have had 3 kids since then! I was shooting for 145 - which seemed kind of low to me! Can this be right???

So then I scrolled down to the bottom of the page, read the directions for frame size and determined that I have a small frame. Small? Really???

That got me thinking about my family. My parents and two siblings are tiny - no question about that. But two of my sisters and I have always battled weight and we all assumed we had the same frame - sturdy, big boned, solid. My oldest sister lost her weight with Atkins, my middle sister lost hers with chemotherapy. At the end of their journeys they were TINY little things! Maybe I AM small framed!!!!!

Wouldn't that be something? I've been thinking of myself as being large framed for so long that I never even considered that I was mostly fat LOL

I'm going to keep my goal at 145 for now and see how it feels once I get there. Because I WILL get there!!!!  I'm also going to remind myself that I'm NOT big boned, that I can keep losing, that this really isn't the way God made me!

I WILL LOSE THIS WEIGHT!!!!!

Hungry girl!

No, no, no - not me! The site http://www.hungry-girl.com/

There's lots of good stuff at Hungry Girl. I love her recipes - complete with PICTURES and product reviews. Somewhere on there she has low cal drink recipes - but I'm not much of a drinker so I haven't checked that out yet.

As for me...still haven't figured out what to have for dinner. I was going to make a yummy shrimp stir fry but I really don't want to mess up tomorrow's weigh in. I've been cruising along at the same weight for 2 weeks and this week has a potential for at least a small loss - can't blow that with stir fry!  I can't think of anything quick and easy that's not gonna' be loaded with sodium. Brain cramp!!!!

oops!

Last night's meatloaf was a bit....hard!!!!! I've never had it turn out like that before LOL I am hoping I can somehow salvage it and turn it into sloppy joes for tonight. It's definitely not edible in its current state

Goals for the rest of the week:

1. take measurements
2. figure out how to get My Virtual Model to work (I keep getting a 'session expired' error
3. figure out how to reasonably fit exercise into my day
4. drink at least 64oz WATER each day
5. find at least one new recipe to use with food on hand

I really need to get my exercise mojo back. I was doing so well a few weeks ago and then I just quit. I know, I know, I KNOW how important exercise is to my weightloss efforts - I just hate getting all hot and sweaty LOL I'm going to psyche myself up the rest of this week and then Monday morning I'm going to get up EARLY and use the elliptical before the kids get up.

Yup...I'm going to do it!

Blah blah blah

Nothing fabulous to talk about today...some days are just like that

The visit with the specialist was inane. We had to drive 2.5 hours (each way) only to find out that he wasn't really going to do anything until she has some tests. Couldn't we have done that over the phone??? Craziness. So now I'm waiting for the dr's office to call and schedule the appointment for the tests - only I'm on a crummy dial up connection so his office CAN'T call *sigh* Whatever.

NSV's from yesterday:

1. NO Pepsi - even though I had to hold Mr Evil's 1/2 gallon MEGA jug of Pepsi (!!!) for about 30 minutes in the car
2. NO snacks on the way and only a small snack on the way home
3. drank several bottles of water
4. ate a decent lunch and only stole 3 of my daughter's fries *yippee*

We won't talk about dinner  as that's where I blew my day. BUT it would have been much worse if I hadn't had the other NSVs. The scale this morning reflected no damage - so it wasn't THAT bad of a day.

Tonight's dinner:

• meatloaf
• salad
• baked potato
• green beans

My meatloaf recipe is nothing special - 2 pounds of 93% lean ground beef, 2 packets of dry onion soup mix, ketchup and mustard. I can't use egg or bread crumbs because of my youngest's allergies and have subbed oatmeal on occasion, but it holds together just as well without it. I also mix ketchup, mustard and brown sugar in a bowl and then spread over the loaf and cook for about an hour at 375 degrees.

That's it from me today. Gotta' get the family out of the house for VBS in a little bit and I suppose I should feed them first.