| Height: | 162.6cm |
| Start weight: | 12st 1.00lb |
| Current weight: | 13st 12.00lb |
| Goal weight: | 9st 7.00lb |
| Lost to date: | -2st -11.00lb |
| Remaining: | 4st 5.00lb |
| 25 |
| May '12 |
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| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
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| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | ||
Random question to anyone out there, if anyone is actually still there ?
Any websites you can recommend with support forums for people who suffer periods of depression and overload, but don't necessarily want to go down the pharmaceutical route.
Well, I made a plan yesterday, let me show you the plan and the reality.
Monday - plan:
07:00 - get up and coffee
07:30 - shower
07:45 - wake up DD
08:00 - DD to brekkie
08:20 - login to work
08:30 - school run
09:10 - start work
13:00 - prep / plan dinner
13:30 - walk
14:00 - work
17:00 - walk
18:45 - dinner
20:00 -DD - bedtime
20:00 - 21:00 - company - paperwork
21:00 - 23:00 - slob
23:00 - bed and book
Monday - actual
06:55 - DH's alarm goes off, I curse
07:00 - My alarm goes off, flake back to sleep
07:05 - DH's alarm repeatedly goes off
07:15 - Threaten to throw DH's 'phone out of the window if it isn't switched off
08:00 - Realise we've overslept and DH gets up, I doze back to sleep
08:10 - Brought coffee, grunt
08:30 - Get up, switch computer on, go back to bed
08:32 - Casteville fix
08:58 - commute to work, discover that the router's plug wasn't fully plugged in, curse
09:00 - work
10:30 - breakfast
13:00 - pull on walking clothes ready for walk
13:10 - boss contacts me, conference call until 14:25
14:25 - concept of going for walk abandoned during lunch hour
15:30 - lunch
15:45 - work
17:30 - finish work and realise it's too late for a walk (too dark to walk by canal safely)
17:35 - finances and a little Castleville
18:30 - put dinner on
20:00 - DD to bed, me to bath and read book
21:00 - emerge wrinkled like a prune
21:00 - 24:00 - catch up on tv
00:00 - pass out
They say dieting makes you fat. Well, something does, but I'm not convinced it's the dieting, or rather may be it is. When I am on the diet "wagon", I am good, but when I "fall off the wagon", I go into denial, I bury my head in the sand, and then I think "sod it", and then I slump further and further ... until eventually I am too fat to exercise (in my mind), which means my lifestyle gets more and more sedentary, and I get fatter and fatter.
Which brings me to today. FAT.
I have never weighed so much in my life (well, apart from when pregnant, and that doesn't count, right ?!)
But, I am currently 194lbs (13st 12lbs / 88kg) ... however, you want to see it, it's fat, or under tall by about a metre !
I've gone from running 3 times per week, going to the gym, being a US size 4, UK 10 (don't ask me about sizing discrepancies!) ... to being a UK 18 and starting to bulge on those.
I feel too fat to exercise, I feel people are looking at me, I feel that if I run I may break something.
It's also not helped that I got "diagnosed" with high blood pressure a year ago, and I put my head into the sand and ignored it, and gained another stone (14lbs), too scared to exercise in case I burst something.
My lifestyle has also changed in the past 2 and a bit years, with holding down 2 jobs, going to college a full day per week, and of course being a parent to boot. This has led to too many takeaways, and more weight build up.
And to boot, I got to the ripe old age of 40, and at the back of my mind, I somehow, decided that perhaps being fat was just inevitable (my mother is, and my father was).
However, my mother is currently 2stone (28lbs) lighter than me, so I've blown that theory.
She is on BP meds, I'm not, and nor do I want to be.
My father died at 53, heart attack, I don't want to.
All of this, says I need to do something. Even if it is going to be small steps. But, I have to.
So, to this end, this week we've been on Half Term (Spring Break ?), and we now have several great meals prepped from scratch and in the freezer, ready for those nights which we are too busy (tired, can't be bothered) to cook, this way, we can pull something out of the freezer in the morning, and accompany them with some veggies, and meal done :)
I also today pulled on my trainers and walked 4 miles, I wheezed and puffed for the first 2 miles, and then I managed to clear my lungs somewhat, and the next 2 miles were a breeze.
I had 6 months of bronchitis / laryngitis a couple of years ago, and without exercise my lungs restrict and I struggle. I know I need to keep this exercised.
So, to this end, I have my alarm set for 7 (trust me, that's early for me!), and I shall be going for a trundle tomorrow also, I need to set some routine back into my life, so small steps, but steps all the same.
Tomorrow's lunch will be home made soup (either leek and potato, or lentil and bacon) and homemade wholemeal bread.
Tomorrow's dinner will be roast chicken with all the trimmings.
Tuesday - college - lunch - chicken sandwich ? Dinner - spaghetti bolognaise
Wednesday - lunch - made at home, dunno yet. Dinner - pancakes (yes, I know, a day late!)
Thursday - lunch - made at home, dunno yet. Dinner - chicken kievs (homemade and in the freezer :) ).
Friday - lunch - made at home, dunno yet. Dinner - takeout and no guilt.
Saturday onwards - will work up to that ! But, the weekend will mean I make some some more prep for the following weeks main meals.
I am so busy currently, that I need to have the energy to get through it, which means I need to eat well, sleep well and exercise.
Oh ... and my friend is getting married in August, and I'm blowed if I'm going to be the "only fattie at the do" .... 6 months, bring it on.
Oh and finally ... spammers, go away, you're not wanted.
Sigh, I nearly got banned from the gym before I began.
Apparently they do things properly at "my" gym (yes, I did get provisional membership) .... they took my height / weight, peak flow and then ... my blood pressure.... f**k it was too high.
I went for my pill checkup a couple of months ago, and she'd said my blood pressure was on the high side of normal, and advised me to lose weight. I bought some scales, and steadily my weight has gained instead of losing :(
Hence, the gym thing ...
As it was high he was reluctant to let me join, but I've been put on a sedentary programme with a review in 4 weeks .... 30 mins of cardio per session, with ab crunches at the end .... to be followed by a session in the sauna / steam room ... 3 times per week.
I did go and buy 3 new tops ... 2 which make me look fat, oh ... I am fat, ok, they don't make me look slim, and 1 is "OK" .... and a new pair of trackie bottoms .... I'm set ....
After the induction, we went for a pool session with DD, that was fun :)
Monday night will be my first session ....
Yes, I'm annoyed, yes, I'm frustrated ... at myself, no one else .... but it's time to get it sorted ......
P.S. The "good" news for me, is DH's bp was high too, so he's fully on board as well......
Food for the day:
2 x coffee with s/s milk
Lunch was a sandwich with venison and pea tops, prawn & avocado
Dinner was seafood risotto and 2 slices of garlic bread
1pt ribena (squash)
water .. about 1/2 litre
wine
Tomorrow ... I want steak .....
Blimey, it's like a ghost town around here these days isn't it ? Don't worry, I know, I know .... I'm talking to myself !
Food wise today, has been ok, I think .. says she trying to be accountable:
3 coffees with s/s milk
small selection of cheese and crackers, with grapes for lunch
cupcake .... DD and I baked today, it would have been mad not to indulge in one ... very pink cupcake with blue icing, LOL.
HM rabbit casserole with dumplings, served with savoy cabbage and sweetcorn
2 glasses of wine.
Tomorrow I am planning on seafood risotto for dinner, but that's about as far as I've got.... but it is a plan, so I'll go with that.
Tomorrow, also, is D-Day ... or rather gym day .... first though I need to go and buy a new top, all the ones I have are either way too small, or way too baggy, and make me look like that middle aged overweight woman who reluctantly goes along to her local village hall for telly tubbie aerobics ....
But, as we need to take DD ice skating first thing and right next to the rink is a shopping centre with a sports shop ... that shouldn't be too much of an issue, even if I do have to buy a blokes top.
I'm sure there must be a market in fat busty women's sports clothing. But, I'm blowed if I can find it locally.
So, today, DD and I went swimming .... the pool is only 18 metres long, but I did a fair bit of swimming, playing and general fun having with her :) We were in the pool for about 90 minutes. This evening, I have that "exercised" glow :)
But, my ga*d was it depressing digging out my "fat suit", I have always been fairly top heavy, so the need for a properly supported swimming cossie, you know the type with the built in bra .... well, I have 2 which I bought in my previous fat incarnation ... 1 I could barely squeeze into, but which when squeezed made the best of a bad job (even has a tummy holder innner), but the thought of having to force my poor body into that in a changing room ... was just too much. Fortuitously, the other, fitted with less struggle, unfortunately it didn't have the tummy restrainer!) ....
There is nothing like having to actually see your poor white, overweight body in a swimming cossie to re-inforce the fact, that actually getting off my backside and doing something proactive about it ... has to happen.
Tomorrow, there is no aim for exercise / swimming, DH is on a late one from his course, and not expected to be in until 10pm, so tomorrow, will be about the food !
Friday ... well, Friday, I'm not sure about, but I do know I've bought a rabbit, so on the menu will be rabbit casserole with dumplings .... I've never actually jointed a rabbit, let alone cook it, so that should be a challenge in it's own right. But, they are meant to be exceptionally lean and good for you .. so here's hoping !!
Saturday, we've both got our gym induction, and then we've promised DD we'll take her into the pool .... personally, I am looking forward to using the sauna and steam room .... ah bliss :)
Whilst for the most part the rest of the country is entering into turmoil and riots, I made a decision.
Yes, I am so overweight now it is unimaginable how on earth I got to this point. But, there is no point dwelling on that, what I need to dwell on is the here, the now and the future.
To that end, I have done no exercise in way too long, one of the reasons is as I've ballooned, I've got more and more self conscious about it all, whilst around me all the "mums" at my DD's school have got more and more trim as they've got more and more into their running ... that, and the mixture of always having hated the gym we're a member of .... filthy, dusty, basic, overhot in the Summer, freezing in the Winter, and so smallville that everyone stares ... not an exciting prospect.
So, a short while back I realised that there was a spa hotel about 15 miles from us, and last night, in a flash of realisation, I realised it also had a gym attached to it ... 3 years old, modern, air conditioned, and a pool, complete with sauna and steam room ...
I dragged DD along today, just turned up, and they were helpful, accommodating and took us for a tour around. Tonight, I dragged DH along, and then I parted with a years commitment and a lot of money !
Saturday, we both have our induction and programme set, they're happy for DD to tag along (which is a bonus!). I can't use the machines until then, but I can use the pool, to which end I have promised DD that I will take her tomorrow afternoon. The pool is an even 120cm in depth, which as I'm not a strong swimmer, means I am comfortable to take DD in with me, in a pool in which I would go out of my depth, I wouldn't be.
Amazing what happens when I have a week off work ;)
I've been so busy with work / college / work, that the "me" time has been left behind.
This week, DD and I have chilled out, I've cleaned some of the house, I've done crafty things with her, and a few more planned, and started to put our "house" in order, DH is excited too, as he too needs to lose weight.
It's all helped by the fact that is in a particularly "posh" hotel, set amongst luxurious grounds, golf course and spa ....
Now, I just have to form that gym habit for both of us, and then we'll be rocking !!
Can we afford it ? Well, if I substitute the amount we've been paying in takeouts for it ... then ... blush .... yes !
Oh and did I mention .... it was SCRUPULOUSLY CLEAN !!!
