buried by neglect

...looking for what has been buried by neglect...me

My Profile

  • Name: Looking for Me
  • City: Lincoln
  • Region: Nebraska
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 172.7cm
Start weight: 267.40lb
Current weight: 232.00lb
Goal weight: 164.00lb
Lost to date: 35.40lb
Remaining: 68.00lb

My Calendar

25
May '12
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My Photos

Before After
Really Simple Syndication
08/18/2009 16:01

AWOL

A.W.O.L
 
Yes, it is true.  I've been Absent With Out Leave.  And, I am afraid to step on the scale.  I need accountability, and I need Extrapounds.
 
We had the county fair, and the boys did quite well.  Even DS4 got a BEST OF LOT for his giant sunflower and a beautiful ribbon to show for it.  DS11 won country recognition and DS14 got selected for the state fair.
 
DH and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary and had a great time.
 
Today is the first day of school for the two older boys and it was a hectic morning.  I am not a fan of the alarm clock. 
 
We've already been doing football practice for the two older boys for almost two weeks.  UGH.
 
DS 4 has orientation for preschool this week and starts next week.  So, I have one starting HS, one starting middle school and one starting preschool.  The boys are taking it better than I am, thankfully.  I hate sending them back to school.
 
The upside is.....hmmmm, I am still thinking....well, maybe, I can start back into an exercise routine.....I don't know....I know I need too......well, I will have to take this one day at a time.
 
The foster parenting classes are over for now, and we have to wait on the home study, but frankly, we are not ready.  We are needing to expand to the attic to make a huge loft for the older boys, but we haven't had the time.  They want us to provide "her" with her own room since we have all boys.  So, at this point, I have a crib, blankets, dollies, and other sorts of goodies, but no where to go with all of it.  I am just having to leave it in God's hands.  He is leading us, and we are trying to follow.  He knows what our crazy life is like and He knows our schedules.  So, I 've just been praying that He will pave the way for us to get it all done. 
 
 

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07/17/2009 16:37

Dance

danceintherain.jpg dance in the rain image by nsjoden
 
My dad sent me this quote in an email.  I  love it.  Sometimes life does get hard, and we get overwhelmed.  But, I have to remember that some of the most beautiful results come out of the storm. P1010040.jpg After a storm image by glogal And the lessons that I have learned the best come from the times that I had to struggle the most.  So, I am going to dance!
DanceintheRain142x203.jpg Dance in the Rain image by NikkiAnastasia
 

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07/17/2009 05:03

The Fasten Your Seatbelt sign is on

Wow-Wee!
 
 
seatbelt.jpg seatbelt image by xo_briana
I feel that I need to fasten my seatbelt for the ride we've been on this summer.  We've had tons and tons of activities and lots of changes happening around us.  Home repairs, cars, piano lessons, art lessons, foster parenting classes, travel, country fair projects,.....
 
I am loving summer, but there are not enough hours or days to get it all done.  The fair projects for 4-H are due Tuesday, but I spent the day going through DS11's room, clothes and all (what a disaster).  But, he is about set.  The room is organized, clean and the old clothes are out.  I know how he stands for the school year.
Next it will be DS4's turn.  He has a bunch of clothes he has outgrown.  Then DS14's room will need to be conquered.  I hate doing it, but feel so much better when it is done.  Oh, I always get the promises,"I'll never make such a mess again, and I will keep it clean because it is so nice."  HA!!! 
 
I've been doing some sewing this summer and have been enjoying it!  I do have a dress that has been waiting to be finished for about a week, but everyone else seems to need my attention more now.  I've been putting in the "shoulder time" with DH and helping him on one of his car projects he wants to finish.  Then I went and helped my mother throw a big birthday bash for my dad.  In between that we had a 4th of July celebration in my parents neighborhood and the kids decorated their bikes and clothing for a parade followed by a neighborhood picnic.  We had to drive for 2 hours to get there just in time to unload DS4's bike and get them in the parade.  It was cute and worth it.
 
Weight loss has been a stand still.  But, I did start walking the open track this week.  Football season is fast approaching and we are using it to get us all moving.  The boys are starting conditioning now, so they don't "die" when practice starts.  It felt really good to know that I was back moving again.  I can feel that it has been too long, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
 
I hope all of my EP friends are doing well and enjoying your summer.  You all mean a great deal to me and I've missed our regular interactions.  Hopefully, I will be able to be back among you on a more regular basis soon. 
 
But, for now I must go sew a new seat for DS11's director chair in his room.

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06/29/2009 23:54

smile!

My mom sent this to  me....
 
 
Shirley & Marcy

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but  yet know that he was safe.

So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her.

She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew. She did this for the whole week.

As the two walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do  every day all week. Finally she said to Timmy, 'Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week?

Do you know her?'
Timmy nonchalantly replied,
'Yeah, I know who she is.'
The little girl said, 'Well, who is she?'
'That's just Shirley Goodnest,' Timmy replied, 'and her daughter Marcy.'

'Shirley Goodnest? Who the heck is she and why is she following us? '

'Well,' Timmy explained, 'every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much.
And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow
me all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!'

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift His countenance upon you, and give you peace.

May Shirley Goodnest and Marcy be with you today and always
 
 
Now come on and admit it....you know you smiled!

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06/29/2009 06:34

I commit...

Day 104 of 141 Days
37 Days Remain
 
 
The pounds are not dropping off, but I've got some not so surprising reasons.  I've haven't truly been trying.  I've been stress eating and I haven't been exercising, at least, in a routine.  Sure I've been mowing and it takes me almost two hours, but that is only twice a week.
 
I've worked some things out...
I've commit to not backsliding and moving forward.
 
I've commit to taking some time to work on some projects that I want to do this summer. (Not just making sure everyone else gets their wants and desires, but that I matter too.)
 
I've commit to comply with all of the snoopy, invading acts of the government that aren't any of their business, because I know there is a little girl out there counting on us.  Yes, I am still a little testy, but TOM is here and it hasn't even been 30 days.  Ugh.   I think I am hitting the "menopausal" time of my life...symptoms are changing.  ????????
 
I've commit to being thinner after the arrival of our daughter than I was when we started.  This will definitely be a first for me!  Wouldn't that be grand?!
 
 
ON a side note.... the gutter guy didn't show up this weekend.  I guess we will see what happens tomorrow.
 
On a happy note....my darling husband surprised me and bought me the car I was really wanting.  I am stunned.  He worked out a deal with the seller because the high bidder didn't follow through.  We will hopfully be taking delivery of it in a few weeks.  I was so jittery with excitement when I found out.  He is a good guy, but I've always known that.  I told him that I felt very special to be a part of the "club".  I told him that the imaginary "no girls allowed" sign, now needed to be adapted to say "girls sometimes allowed".  So, in a display of appreciation, I happily went to a car swap meet yesterday and today spent several hours helping him sand one of his cars to get it ready to paint.  Then I mowed the yard before it got dark.
 
 

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06/24/2009 18:37

This is a rant that you don't need to read

Day 100 of 141 Days
41 Days Remain
 
Please don't feel the need to respond or even read this.  This is me venting in about the only way that I can.  I am hoping to work some things out  and I usually do it internally...never externally.  But, I can feel my insides churning in ways that are not good and I thought I would give this a try.
sad.gif sad image by jwfc
 
I am a little out of sorts. 
 
I am stressed out about the many things going on with  our potential foster parenting. 
 
I am having a hard time with the heat and humidity.  Which is drastically affecting my desire to exercise among other things.
 
We got the back window of our suburban shot out two days ago, so that was another bill we didn't need. 
 
We can't get the gutter guy to replace our gutters that he said he would over three weeks ago.  And they damaged the old gutters further when they roofed the house.  He has bought the supplies and put them on our account at the home improvement store, but we don't have new gutters.  Obviously we had to pay the bill.  We've been having huge rainstorms at night and been out in the lightening trying to keep water from going in the basement.  His latest promise is that he will be here this weekend.  Three weeks ago, we asked him if he just didn't want to do it to let us know, so we could do it ourselves.  We were getting ready to go buy supplies to do it, when we got the invoice from the store showing he has purchased the supplies in our name.  Ugh! 
storm.jpg Blue Storm image by DarkRose1313
 
TOM is getting more and more ferociously painful.
 
And my diet has been just awful.   The scale shows it.FOLLOWDont2020NORMA.gif Dont be discouraged image by sumrrain
 
Am I giving up?  No! NO! NO!  I can't do that.  I just need to get ahold of myself.  I need to get some things accomplished and I am sure that will pick me back up.  I am the kind that when I start to feel overwhelmed I start to get paralyzed and very grouchy. 
 
Another thing that is really bugging me is that for 17+ years I have been supporting my DH with his car fetish.  I have had a desire for a classic fun car for just me for a long, long time.  He never seems to take me seriously because it is never a car that has his interest, so I get blown off.  I found my perfect car on ebay and kept mentioning it and giving heavy suggestions.  Well, he did at least bid on it for me, but he didn't want it as bad as I did and put a cap on what he wanted to spend.  We didn't get it.  We lost it by a little over 300 dollars.  I am trying to be a trooper, but I am sick to my stomach.  We have owned over 25+ vechicles in our 17 years.  I have always been supportive.  This was such a unique car and the boys were in love with it too.  I know my feelings are selfish and irresponsible, but the ugly truth is they are still there. frustrated.png Frustrated image by psawyerislove I really need to pray about this and get my priorities straight.
 
Sorry about this ranting post.  I just thought that maybe if I wrote about it, I could get a better grasp on myself.
 
I am off to see if I can get something accomplished today beside running the boys to all of their activities.  I've already planted some flowers and weeded some of the gardens this morning, but it is already getting miserable.  Maybe I can get some sewing done.  I enjoy it designing custom clothes for Ds4 if I just can get myself to sit down and do it.

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06/20/2009 06:47

a peach of a day

Day 95 of 141 days
46 Days Remain
 
Well, yesterday was a peach.  I had to get fingerprinted at the sherriff's office for foster parenting and immediately following that was dropped off at the doctor's office for a physical.  Everyone including the receptionists commented on how long it has been since they have seen me.  My doctor, who really is a great lady, then said that I should schedule a mamogram.  I replied that I should also floss regularly.  I told her that the day was eventful enough and that I would wait to schedule the mamogram on a day when I could get my teeth cleaned.
 
Enough said.
 
We had a great time in Colorado and it was way too short of a vacation, but I am still thankful for the time we got to spend there.  One of the great moments was getting to hike the mountains of Green Mountain Falls.  Each layer you go up has a waterfall waiting to be discovered.  The boys loved it and we went further with them than we've gone before.  The wonderful thing I noticed was that I wasn't struggling for breath like in the past.  This was one of my goals I set back in January when I started this journey. 
 
I will have to post some pictures later. 
 
These foster parenting classes have us all scared to death.  I don't know if one of the families we've befriended will even be back for the next class.  I had to go and counsel with a good friend who has been doing foster care for around ten years to get myself back on board.  I told her that my heart was definitely big enough, I just wasn't sure if my shoulders were.  But, that said I bought a crib today at a sale and I found the most beautiful crib set in Colorado, so I am still walking in faith and relying on the fact that God is in control and not the system.

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06/18/2009 15:00

Quick...you must blog. You must blog.

Day 94 of 141 Days
47 Days Remain
 
 
Quick, quick, quick....
 
 
We are back from Colorado and had a marvelous time.  We got back and started the foster parenting classes, the boys started art classes, Ds11 has two of them, DS14 has been doing odd jobs for a business owner in town, and DS11 has ramped up his drama practices because the performance is this weekend. The yard is growing like a weed.  I have been having to mow it every 3 days and it takes me well over an hour and a half at least.   I have a my first physical in 4 years today.  I am nervous.  I don't like going to the doctor and I don't like standing on the scale.  I kept putting it off thinking I would lose all of this weight and go in without any discerning looks headed my way, but oh well.  We have to have physicals for this foster parenting thing. 
 
I lost .2 pounds in two weeks.  Not exactly a wow, but it is still a loss.  I figure it is ok since we were eating out all week on vacation. 
 
Good news:  I got to try on clothes for the first time in ages while shopping on vacation and almost everything I took into the dressing room actually fit or was too big!  Celebration!!!!!!!   For a long time it has been the opposite.  Take in clothes, try them on, take them off because they are too tight or even worse won't even go on.  So I had some satisfaction this time.  This process is so slow, but results make it worth while.
 
I hope all of my friends out there in EP land are doing ok!  I will have to try and read some blogs soon and check in with all of you!
 
With all of this zooming kids around town, I think I need some sort of tiny fuel efficient car.  The suburban is not exactly a "toot around town" car with its 42 gallon gas tank.  Hmmm...I've always wanted a volkswagon bug. 

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06/06/2009 16:10

Summer Time, Summer Time, Sum-sum Summer Time

Day 82 of 141 Days
59 Days remain
 
Yes, I am actually singing it....
 
Have I mentioned that I adore summer vacation?  I love, love, love having more control over our schedules.  Yes, we have football camps, art classes, dramas, summer reading programs, 4-H, birthdays, father's day, and SUMMER VACATIONS!  But, I can still sleep in a little...and I get to see the boys more!
 
Now, seeing them more does require more parentlng....wow!  I can't even put it into words....
 
We have found this next week we are going to squeeze in a summer vacation to the mountains of Colorado!  This is one of my all time favorite desitinations!  I used to go every summer as a kid.  It means thrift shopping, hiking in the mountains, and cool lovely evenings.  DH is going to fit in some work along the way and we are going to tag along.
 
We have to fit vacation in due to classes that DH and I are starting the next week.  We've decided to explore becoming licensed foster parents.  We are feeling God calling us.  We are opening the door to adopting a little girl.  We are not ruling out a little boy, but with the three we've been blessed with, we just thought that a little girl might be a better fit.  It would be so much easier to integrate a little boy since I am in "boy mode", but I wonder if he would have insecure feelings since we have 3 already.  I wouldn't want that at all.  We will just have to see what God has in store for us.   This is a huge step of faith, but we feel we must take it.  Maybe nothing will come of it.  But, we always say that it is much better to stay in the center of God's will than not.  We joke that it is better than getting swallowed by a big whale to get us where he wants us to be...
 
Our evenings have been great so far.  I know that it is going to get hot, but I will enjoy it until it does.  The other day, we did a lot of tree trimming in the yard.  We all worked as a family to haul the branches.  Some got cut up for firewood, some got hauled to the trailer to go to the dump, and little ones got chucked into a trash can.  After dinner, we set up the chiminea and chairs on the patio and roasted marshmellows while we burned the little branches.  It was a great summer evening! 
 
We've even had the time to pull out board games after dinner, or rent a movie now and then.  I love it when bedtime doesn't have to be quite so rigid.  We tend to relax more and enjoy each other more.
 
As far as exercise, I have not been routine.  I figure when I am push mowing the grass for an hour and a half, that is pretty good exercise.  We've walked a couple of nights in addition.  I've also been walking DS4 and DS11 to the library twice a week.  I pull the wagon while DS11 practices on his roller blades.  I am having to sneak it in doing everyday activities.  I figure it should still work out fine.  I do miss weight training, but I think I am going to start doing some of it with DS14 as he needs to get ready for football.  We just might be able to challenge each other.

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06/04/2009 16:01

Pondering...

 
Day 80 of 141 Days
61 Days to Go
34.8 left for anniversary goal
9 weeks left
(I would have to lose about 4 pounds per week to make it)
 
 
1.6 pounds this week
3 inches since May
17.5 inches since January
8f0d5d35.jpg &#21463;&#32602; image by piscesghost Is it half full or half empty? 
 
 
Picture30.png I just love hanging around image by ArtsyMom  Either way...I am still hanging on.
 
I'm still plodding along and fortunately losing slowly but surely. 
gray_cat_thinking.gif thinking image by BarbSSSS I am pondering making a dramatic push.  Up until this point, diet wise, I've been just adjusting my diet to a healthier style.  I am wondering since I am not seeing dramatic results, if I need to ramp it up for awhile and see what I can accomplish in about 9 weeks.

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