ALIVE

Yes I am alive.

I have been super duper busy and just have not had a chance to get on here and see how everyone is doing. But Ts mom made me jump on here today.

I am in the middle of an audit from the Indiana Department of Workforce Development so I cant stay long...this lady wants all my attention-go figure. But I wanted to take a second to say hello and let you ladies know that I am doing good.

Promise I will be back soon!

Brown eyed girl

OK that is the song on the radio in the store right now and they have it turned up loud enough so that I can hear it in the office and...well it is what I am singing right now. How can you not sing along with that song?

Well I didnt go to the gym last night. Instead I cut my grass, just like Gwynn. I spent 90 minutes out there cutting thru that jungle. I have cut the front yard twice but this was the first time this year I have cut the back and boy it was high. I am glad I have a privacy fence and noone could see how tall it was. But the good news is that I burned 800 calories while doing it (thanks TATUMSMOM). The bad news is that the scale didnt move, URGH. My scale hasnt moved in a week now. I know that I set 155 as my original goal but dang. Did I not send the memo to my body that I wanted to lose another 10 pounds? Does it not understand that I have more fat to lose? Maybe I should sent it an email and remind it.

Anyway, not much going on today. My DD has an orthodontic appointment this afternoon so I am outta here soon, yeah!

She-Woman Man Haters Club

Wow...all I can say right now is wow. When I signed onto my computer this morning I had no idea I was gonna have so many messages. 19 of you responded to my post yesterday. 19? Yes 19...shot I didnt know that 19 people here knew me, let alone would take the time to stop and see how I was and to volunteer a can of whop ass for those two stupid girls. You guys made me laugh. And you made me think.  I would like to give a big THANK YOU to all of you. I spent three days feeling bad and if it weren't for all of you I would probly still be feeling bad today. But I'm not. I know I am not perfect...noone is. And I know that I still have some areas to work on but I am def closer today than I was yesterday and every day will get me that much closer to where I want to be. And you know what....I bet I could outlast either one of those girls on an eliptical!

Lets talk about !PODS...want to? Good cause I'm gonna. Now I am not a man hater...as a matter of fact I love my husband very much. But I do have a group of songs on my !POD that are great for a day when you are just fed up with men. Most are country so if you arent into country I guess you can just skip this.

Stay--Sugarland

Men Don't Change--Amy Dalley

Gunpowder and Lead--Mirnada Lambert

A Night To Remember--SHeDaisy

Picture to Burn--Taylor Swift

Arizona--Jamie Oneal

Lucky 4 U--SHeDaisy

Crazy Ex-Girlfirend--Miranda Lambert

Don't Speak--No Doubt

Unpretty--TLC

Keresene--Miranda Lambert

Before He Cheats--Carrie Underwood

Earl--Dixie Chicks

Now when I am (on the rare occasion) mad at the DH. I just listen to my little list of songs and think bad thoughts about him in my head and then I am all better. I know it might sound stupid but...well I believe you have to pick your battles so to speak. If you fight over every little issue then you will spend all your time fighting...and life is too short for that. I am not saying that I let DH run over me or that I let him get away with stupid stuff. I am just saying that if its a little thing in the grande scheme of things then when he turns his back stick your tongue out at him. He will never know you did it and you will feel much better...trust me you will.  So if you have any ideas to add to my list I would love to hear them...and hey...there are only 4 songs listed up there where they actually kill the guy (lol).

OK I have to get some work done at some point today...nah...I'm gonna go check on all of you!

Heartbroken

I had a rough night Friday night. I was feeling pretty good about myself that day. You know sometimes you have good days when you dont feel like an obese cow...well I was having one of those days where I was feeling like I was starting to look pretty good. Well my DH and I went out for dinner. We went to O'Charleys. There was a wait so we were sitting there waiting and these two couples come in. They decide to wait too. There are no more seats so they stand...right in front of me and the DH. Both ladies are tall and very thin. They were there for about five minutes and here is wait they said:

Brunette: Can you believe how short her shirt is? She should be embarrassed.

Blonde: OMG! You know I hate when fat people wear those tight shirts and when they sit down you can see all thier rolls. Its just gross.

Brunette: I dont like it at all. It looks stupid.

Blonde: Doesnt she know how trashy she looks?...they both laugh

As I sat there feeling my heart go to my toes and tears start to form in my eyes, they call our name to be seated. You see I was who they were talking about. I had on the skorts I had just bought last week and two pink tanks...the outfit in the "after" pic I have here on my page. There was noone else sitting there that they could have been talking about...I looked. There was a group of older (in there 60s maybe) ladies and a group of men and then a couple and the girl in that couple wasnt dressed anything like me. I was so heartbroken. And these were grown woman. They werent teenage kids. Hell the blonde had more wrinkles than me. I would say they were both in thier late 30s.

I sat there thru dinner trying not to cry. I had decided before we ever left the house to go eat that I was gonna look at the menu and eat whatever I wanted. Of course I would probly cut it in half and set the fries to the side and all that stuff. But I wasnt gonna have salad. I felt so bad about myself guess what I ordered...lettuce with plain grilled chicken.

I felt so bad...I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I spent the rest of the weekend with those words in my head. Just how trashy do I look? Just how fat am I really? I just cant seem to let this go. I...for a split second...wanted to tell them where to go. But before I could get one word out of my mouth I could tell if I said one word I would start to cry.

You know, even if what they were saying was true they had no right to say it. They knew I could hear them. They just stood there laughing and making fun of me. Why are people so mean?

The Replacement

So yesterday I posted a new pic. This morning my daughter was looking at all the pics on the camera and she says "Mom I dont like the shirt you had on yesterday. You need to take another pic for your page thing." After a short disagreements about it...she won. I let her take another pic of me today and I had to promise her I would post it. So just to make her happy I will be posting it later today...kids!

Now lets talk about measurements. I have said for some time now that the thing I regret the most is not taking my measurements along the way. I finally broke down last night and took some. Now TOM is in town and I dont know if the effects certain areas or not. I was suprised at the difference between my waist and my hips. There is a 12 inch difference! Gesh that seems like alot...doesnt it? Or is that normal? Well I looked around on the interent and found a size chart thingy. For a size 8 it says your Bust should be 36 inches, your Waist should be 28 inches and your Hips should be 39 1/2 inches. That isnt exactly what I am but we all know that different jean makers make thier jeans a bit differently. So anyway, I am a 36-29-41. Yes I said 41. That just seems like a HUGE number to me. I have always had big ole wide hips but dang.  I guess since I have never taken my measurements before...ever...that maybe it just seems like a big number to me...I dont know. But I do know that I would like to lose some more inches.

And to answer someones question from yesterday...no I do not have a twin (lol). And when I started all this I was a size 22...well all my pants were that stretchy stuff so truth be told it was probly a size 24.

OK...I hope you all have a great weekend and I will talk to ya soon!

NEW PIC!!!

OK, OK, OK...I brought my camera to work with me and downloaded a new pic for you guys. I have been having trouble getting my computer at home to play nicely with my camera and I just couldn't get any pics to download. I must say I am not thrilled with the pic but it is what it is.

I did some shopping last night. Actually Chantal gave me the idea. She had bought some shirts and I thought what the heck. I got some tanks (A shirts...whatever). I bought some smalls and some mediums so that I could stack them. When I got home the mediums were too big...wtf? So I will have to take them back and look for some extra smalls. But that is not the good news. I tried on a pair of skorts. They were just handing there on the rack calling my name. So I had to try them on. They were a size 8...guess what? They fit! Now I wasnt gonna buy them because I had set a limit in my head before I ever went into the store and I was already at that limit. But I HAD to buy them. So I put back one shirt and bought the skorts.  A size 8...OMG! The ladies in the other dressing rooms must have thought I was crazy cause when I tried them on and realized that they fit I said "Shut the F**K UP!" I was so excited.

Well that is all that I have for you ladies today...oh yeah TOM showed up 4 days early...other than that its the same ole stuff. I will talk to you all very soon. Have a great day!

Passenger Seat

There was no passenger seat today. I rode my bike to work. It was a little chilli but not too bad. But it is gonna be almost 80 here today so it will be a nice ride home. It is gonna rain Thursday and Friday so I gotta ride when I can. Plus getting in all my workouts and yard work done and getting in my riding time...well I gotta get it all balanced out. And I have to take the kids skating tonight so I wont be able to ride tonight...I love my bike!

Now something weight loss related...I am down to 155. That means I have finally made it to 90 pounds gone. This is what my original goal was. Somewhere along the way I decided to lower my goal to 145. I just didnt think I would be happy at 155...and I'm not. Not that I am not happy with my progress but I want to loss a little more. I want to get a little more tone too. OK a lot more tone...or is it toner? Anyway, I am looking forward to getting to the maintenance part of this journey.

Well I hope you are all having a great Hump Day. I am gonna go make my rounds!

Manic Monday

You know I usually have some stupid song stuck in my head and the past few days I have been putting them as my title...I guess that will be alright until I get a nasty one stuck in there...oh wait, Kim says I already have (lol).

So today is WI day. I am down 3.4 pounds. I am not thrilled. I am not thrilled because I know that TOM is on his way to Franklin and that this week is gonna be a rough one (weight loss wise) and I am gonna have to work my butt off to not have a gain next week. Guess I would have rather lost 2 pounds this week and 1.4 next week...does that sound stupid?

Anyway, it is Monday once again...my busiest day here at the office. And it is a payroll week so I have to try to get all 150 or so employees pay checks done...weird how mad people get when they dont get paid. I will make it around to everyone in a bit...I hope.

And yes,  I know that I have an OCD issue. I try to make lite of it. I blame my mother for this issue. If you have read my blog for a long time you already know that she and I dont have the best relationship. When I was little my room was never clean enough and when I had a "cleaning chore" it was never done good enough. Now my mother is NOT a clean freak nor is she OCD. But as an abused child you are always trying to please everyone and when the things you do are never good enough then you just keep trying harder and harder to please the person who you arent good enough for. Anyway, as I became an adult I carried with me the cleanliness thing. But it slowly turned into other things too...like checking (several times) to be sure the doors are locked before I go to bed at night, anytime something has to be tunred off, I check it over and over to be sure its really turned off...you get the idea. And my cleaning thing has caused some fights in my marriage. I try to control it as much as possible. But if I had to guess I would say that I spend about 20 hours a week cleaning my house. Now my house isnt huge...its a 3 bredroom ranch. But I never think its clean enough...but doesnt everyone have thier own stupid little quirks?

My DH just sent me a text..."As your attorney, I advise you to eat all this acid."...what in the world?

Rainy days and...

no not Mondays...and The Tudors. Its a yucky day out today so I am just sitting here watching a bunch of episodes. Before yesterday I had never heard of this show but now I think I am hooked.

I was up til 1am cleaning then back up at 9am cleaning some more. I really think if I didnt have a DH and DDs I would spend every waking second cleaning. Do you think I have a problem?

Well the scales havent moved much the past few days but they did move at the beginning of the week so I'm alright with them being still for a few days.

Anywho, not much going on today but I just wanted to get on here and say hello to you ladies.

I feel the earth move...

under my feet. That darn song has been stuck in my head all day. Silly little earthquake shaking my house up at the butt crack of dawn...gesh!

OK before I forget...Chantal I go to the gym Mon, Tues, Thurs and Fri. I go skating for 2 hours on Wed and I spend about 6 hours cleaning my house every Saturday. I usually dont do too much exercise on Sunday but with the weather getting nicer I will probly be doing all my yard work on Sunday. And mowing the lawn, pulling weeds, planing flowes...well that is exercise too.

Someone asked me if it was hard at first to get used to the low calories. Well not really. I eat about 1150 or so now but 90 pounds ago the daily calorie intake was much higher. It goes lower and lower and you loss weight. And according to thedailyplate.com when I get to 145 pounds I will have to eat 2000 calories a day to maintain that weight. I think I might have troubel with that. It seems like alot of calories to me right now. I mean dang thats 850 more calories per day. What am I gonna eat to come up with an extra 850 calories every day?

Alright girlies, I am off to check on all of you. Hope you all have a pleasant weekend.