Life Changes.....

This week has been nuts.  I haven't even signed into google reader since last wednesday which was my last WI. 

I will probably have a decent WI because I haven't been able to eat this week.  I have moved in with my parents.  It's a long complicated story.  Part of me is relieved and the other part sad and stressed. 

I love you all and your friendship means so much to me.  Please understand why I have been a bad blogger friend.  I promise to catch up soon.  love ya ;-)

WWWW & Blog

So I was down .4lbs.  i was hoping for more.  I'm getting incredibly SICK of being 155!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I guess I just need to get my shit together.  huh?!

I'm going through some major things in my marriage.  No divorce papers yet but it's looking like it may go that way.  It will be me that has to make that decision for myself and DD's future. 

I let my Gold membership expire today so my page is back to boring.  I won't have the funds for my EP indulgence until next month. 

I hope sometime soon there's a light at the end of this tunnel.  I love you guys so much and have kept me sane through all this.  I promise I sometime I will have the greatest things to share with you guys and I will be at my goal! 

Update

I'm doing okay--- I think.  Besides Foxy dying on wednesday I'm still dealing with all the other *crap*. 

I've ate well and I'm getting exercise in.  I hope  I have a loss this week.  I was feeling INCREDIBLY MOODY today and I still am.  Plus, I was cramping really bad.  TOM doesn't typically visit me at all since I've been ont he shot.  Once or twice I've spotted for a day or two with now PMS symptoms.  Today was BAD.  I was PMS'ing before I even knew I started.  Plus I felt really bloated and fat.  When I have been walking as much as I have with no beer --- I usually feel "thinner".  But I haven't.  I feel like a big puffer fish.  Whatever.

I'd like to thank youall for the sweetest, most kind comments about Foxy.  It means so much.  Sorry I've been a bad blogger friend.  I just haven't been in the "right" state of mind.  You know? 

I love you guys!

shit hell damn!!!!

THIS IS THE 5TH TIME I'VE TRIED TO POST THIS!!!!  LONG STORY SHORT PEOPLE.  I'll post more later. 

I'm up .2lbs.  so what.  I'm maintaining.  That's all I can handle right now. 

We had to put one of our horses down a few hours ago.  it's another long story but was unexpected.  He's been at the vet's since monday but took a turn for the worse today.  He was down and two vets and all their tech tried to get him up all day.  They couldn't get him up and his breathing became laboured.   I took this pic just before loading him in the trailer to go to the vets.  It's a horrible pic that I took with my cell but the last one. His name was Foxy.  I named him.  I was 6 when he was born.  His registered name was IMA FOXY AFFAIR.  He was a stallion but so sweet, loving, and a gentle giant.  I'm a mess and I don't even want to mention my parents right now. 

RIP Mr. Foxy.  I'll love you ALWAYS.

Somewhere in time's own space

There must be some sweet pastured place

Where creeks sing on and tall trees grow

Some paradise where horses go,

For by the love that guides my pen

I know great horses live again.     ~Stanley Harrison

Tomorrow is WWWW.....

(Okay Jules, your killing me here).....if you wondering what WWWW stand for it's WEDNESDAY WEIGHT WATCHERS WEIGH-IN!  I'm such a dork. 

So stress has been getting to the best of me and I have to say I'm my head isn't in this.  I have basically MAINTAINED for a month and a half.  I know exactly what I'm doing wrong.  I need to cut out the booze!  lol. 

I got on the scale today.  I'm up .2 from last official WI.  If I work hard today I might see a loss tomorrow.  But really it's just a reminder that I'm basically going nowhere. 

Thank you all for your kind, sweet comments.  You know I love ya! 

Other than my super stressful life there's nothing else to report.  Tomorrow is WI! 

Blah....

I'm feeling so chubby and blah.  UGH.  I'm not getting my walks in like I should it's so chilly lately and I hate taking baby out in it.  I KNOW, EXCUSES. 

I'm in a bad spot emotionally today.  I'm emotionally spent.  This is not a happy post--- I'm sorry.  My day had started out wonderfully and ended about as bad as it could get.  My esteem is in the shitter.  Sorry for the language gals.  I love you!

WI Results.....

UP .2LBS.  I was a little disappointed since I did really work at this week.  But my weight watcher leader said I had a big loss last week and .2 is just a bathroom trip away.  She said this out loud in front of the people waiting in line.  lol.  Great now they all knwo I didn't go to the bathroom today!  lmao. 

Then I started thinking about this.  I know it HAS to be mental.  Every wednesday, my WI day, I'm unable to go to the "bathroom"  .....ahem.  Since I've been able to cut out most lactose my IBS issues have somewhat calmed down and all the flax oil I have keeps me pretty regular.  EXCEPT ON WEDNESDAYS.  I do I get of this mental thing????  I KNOW it has to be mental and it has to do with my WI being on my mind.  What the heck?

WI Tonight

I have WI tonight and I'm afraid that I'm up for disappointed according to my Tanita this morning.  Ugh.  We'll see what official says.  I did okay this week I just didn't get AS MUCH activity in as last week. 

Yesterday I managed to get in over 16,000 steps. That's more than I've ever done while I've been recording. 

I hope to be in better spirits this evening.  I'm disappointed with what I saw this morning on the scale and disappointed with some things in my life right now. 

Some of you asked about my dad.  He's falling into a depression.  We are trying really hard to keep him positive.  He's hardly eating.  It's a little frustrating right now.  Thank you all for your wonderful thoughts, prayers, and hugs for my dad.  It means so much. 

Thank you all also for your OVERLY KIND comments on my pic.  I means a lot and does a little for the ego too....lol.  I love you guys!

I'll update my weight tonight.  I'll try and get caught up on blogs tonight.  I tried yesterday at work but my computer froze.  ~B~

This Weekend...

I ended up buying myself a new outfit on Friday.  I was feeling pretty good about myself.  I posted a pic.  When taking the pic I remember seeing myself "smaller" than what I saw when I uploaded the pic on here.  Why is that.  AND thank you ALICIA.  LOL.  She said I look TINY. 

Funny thing is I'm supposed to be TINY.  LOL.  I'm 5'2 and have a history of very petite people in my family and my bones are very small.  Hhhmmm, why couldn't I inherit the skinny gene too instead of the chubby one? 

I'm doing okay this week.  I've been using my pedometer and man, is it hard to get 10,000 steps in on my average day! 

I think I'm caught up on most blogs.  I love you guys!

Wednesday Weight Watcher WeighIn!

Is that enough of a tongue twister?!  lol. 

WELL, I WAS DOWN 1.8LBS.  Can you believe it?  AND I was OVER my points by 17!!!  I truly beleive it was all the walking I HAD to do this week!  lol.  I'm just grateful!  AND I got my pedometer.  I won't really get to start using it until tomorrow.  It's pretty cool. 

I love you guys!  Thank you for your wonderful support!