Ok everybody, I have a new member that I'd like for you all to stop by and check out...It's my BROTHER, Timothy !!!!! YEAH!!!!! I've been trying to get him to check out the site for a long time, assuring him that it's not a 100% chick site anymore, and I finally got him to do it. So PLEASE stop by and say hi to him and encourage him! (By the way, he's 27 and SINGLE! lol I have to get this guy hooked up!) He says that he doesn't have any pics to put on his blog of himself, but I do! Check out the new pics I've added to my album!
So I was 193.1 at my last weigh-in, but I haven't had a moment to get on my computer since my last post, no matter what I've tried. My one day off, I was out all day, and then I've worked the rest of these past 2 weeks, and it's been so busy, I've worked late every night and came home and went straight to bed, did not pass go, did not collect $200. I didn't get any "real" exercise in, unless you count running my tush off in the ER as exercise. It's sucked BIG TIME! I haven't been the perfect dieter, either, especially since the evil Girl Scout Cookies have been delivered! I suppose my one good thing is that this week I didn't lose, but I didn't gain either, which I was fully expecting to do.
I had my 1st Lupron injection today for my endometriosis and my arm hurts like the dickens! OUCH!!!! It feels like somebody punched me, actually, someone DID punch me! My dear afore mentioned brother, not realizing that I had received said shot in said arm came up to me and goes, "Say, wassup?" and PUNCHED me in my left arm, not hard, but when you're owey anyway! Thanks, bro! lol No matter how old you get, you never stop being big sis and little bro.
SO, now that I've rid myself of the GS cookies, and I'm finally back on a day shift schedule for real...these first couple of weeks back have been an adjustment phase for me after being on nights...I'm commited to reorganizing myself and getting 100% back on track. I think the only thing that saved me from gaining was the fact that I was too tired to eat dinner at night.
Ok! I'm off to visit now like I've been promising to do now that I'm able to stay awake again! lol
OMG! 27 comments! Have I been gone that long or am I just that loved? WOW! Thanks for checking up on me everybody!
Sorry that I didn't post my Saturday weigh-in results on weigh day, but I worked nights this weekend and we've been going non-stop all night long, so when I get home, I just go straight to sleep and don't wake up until time to go back in!
SOOOOO...OFFICIAL weigh results (not my mid-week sneak weigh!) is.....drum roll please..............195! Putting me back at the 50 pound mark...again. Well, the results come with mixed feelings. I'm happy that I'm only 5 pounds away from ground zero, but of course, the fact that I am still RE-visiting this weight is minorly frustrating to me since I was hoping that I would have put this weight long in my past and have been closer to goal, or at goal, by now 13 months ago. Oh well! Picked myself up, dusted myself off, and I'm back on the road! Right?
So now I'm getting greedy and wondering if I could actually see the 180s by April 1st instead, but my official goal is 190 and anything else will be bonus points!
Hope everyone had a great weekend! I'm back to day shift and normalcy this week! Tonight is my official last night shift! YEAH!!!!! I'm off today, so I'll try my best to visit everyone and check in on you!
Okay, okay! I know! DON'T weigh yourself daily, it brings doom and gloom. But I can't help it, if anything, it keeps me honest, and honesty is what I need right now. SO, I stepped on the scale this pm (my am, mind you), and I was DOWN to 196.6! Whoo-hoo! I might reach my April Fool's Day goal after all! YIPPEE!!!!!! So I've now got 14.4 pounds of my 21 pounds off, only 6.6 to go to ground zero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, so I weighed in Yesterday evening when I got up (my morning at the moment), and I've lost 0.5 pounds from my pre-appendicitis weight. Pre-surgery, I was 191, but it was from dehydration, and it came back w/eating and hydration again. THEN, I ballooned up to 207.9 (my weight on the day that I was cleared to return to "normal" activity) w/all of the bloating and swelling and constipation after surgery. It was hard not to cry when I saw that weight, because I knew that it wasn't from over-eating, but still... at least I was proven right and I cannot tell you how great it was to step on the scale not even a week later and see that my rational mind was right, not my emotional one. SO, once things leveled out and I was able to get back to a NORMAL-ish routine and eating, etc, that weight literally fell off over night. I new it was all swelling anyway b/c my stomach got HUGE after surgery and my rings felt tight, too. SO, considering that I haven't really been able to work out too hard lately, and 2 weeks of complete inactivity, so this is my 1st week back to normalcy, if you can call it that, I will by the net loss of a half pound from my pre-sick/pre-surgery weight.
I've been working an enormous amount of overtime these past 2 weeks, and DH has had a cold, I think I caught it. I've had a cough and felt a little wheezy this weekend. Nothing to knock me off of my rear end, but I listened this time to my body and SLEPT from the time I got off work until time to go back and avoided the exercise yesterday and today, mostly because i was feeling tired and a little winded. The slept did me good, because I'm feeling MUCH better now and ready to go back to day shift and a "normal" life next week. One more week of nights and then I can get back on routine.
I went to the grocery store and stopped by Trader Joe's after I crashed and burned on my first week back to nights and stocked up on lots of fruits and veggies and healthy, lo-cal hi-fiber/hi-protein snacks to help get me through the rest of these night shifts and it seems to be working for me, I'm constantly snacking, but staying well w/in 1200-1500 cals. And now that I'm back to running around the ER, I'm burning more cals w/normal activity as well as w/working out! YEAH! It feels good to be back to some semblance of normal.
My new goal? The one that I wanted by March 1st, BEFORE my appendix got in my way!.... GROUND ZERO....190 #s....by APRIL 1st! (Wish me luck!)
So, everyone, here's to being healthy and being "normal" (my word of the day!). Have a great week and be happy!!!
As those of you who saw my late night posts on your blogs, you can imagine that last night wasn't "too bad" and I had time to do some visiting. So, I spent most of my night thinking of what I would post. How I would whine about how I didn't work out yesterday because of laziness, my struggles with trying to "eat right" in the face of the pot luck last night (which I DID avoid and managed to stay on track), and about sunshine and being bummed over the rain, my thoughts on American Idol... until I turned on the morning news (which I have been watching while on my elliptical when I get off in the mornings)...
"O Grave, where is thy victory? O Death, where is thy sting?"
- I Corinthians 15:55
OMG! I cannot believe the heartbreaking tragedies that hit our country! And to such young lives. A tornado that killed 8 teenagers in Alabama, and then a bus that killed at least 6 college students from Ohio in Atlanta this am. Death at any age is a sad occasion, but when such young and tender lives are cut off before they barely begin... Days that began as they all do, in a hurry, late to school... maybe a scuffle with mom over the length of her skirt ... I can only pray that those families had the chance to say "I love you" and give a quick hug as they saw their children off to school.
How many times have we sent our loved ones off to school, work, whatever, upset at them, or perhaps we simply forgot to say, 'I love you.' We take for granted that we'll see them at dinner, everything will be okay, life goes on. In reality, what makes life so precious is it's fragility. The fact that it can be taken so easily, and without notice...
To ask God why He would allow such tragedies in the world, where is the purpose in something that seems so purposeless and heart breaking, to lives so young? I believe in a God that has a purpose to everything under the sun. Whether to argue that it was "An Act of God" or simply something that God allowed to happen, it is none the less difficult for my human mind to process when things like this happen in the world. This morning I'm feeling very selfish for my small complaints, for worrying about the temptation of a hershey bar, or for being annoyed with my husband for leaving the toilet seat up and the toilet paper next to the holder instead of changing it.
Over the past year, I have learned so much about myself and my priorities, but I feel as if I have so much more to learn. How to pick my battles, and how to not take each day, and the ones that I love for granted. And for food, how to enjoy the blessing that God has given me to live in a country where I have enough food available to be able to get fat and be tempted, but to enjoy it as He created it to be...to nourish our bodies and feed us so that we can live, and thrive and enjoy life. That we were each given a life with a purpose, and that none of us know the day or the hour in which that life might be re-claimed, so it is up to us in whatever time that we are given to make sure that we celebrate our lives, to reach out to each other and show love, kindness, humility...that we be willing to touch the lives of those that society has forgotten, and that we love our families with all our hearts, to serve as role models for them and servants at the same time.
How does this tie in to a weight loss blog? I'm not certain, but I am certain that life is a gift. I have been present at the deaths of so many people, most of them strangers, all of them tragic...sometimes I get jaded and hardened because I see so much go wrong that it's hard to believe that there is still goodness and wonder in the world. I also know that while we cannot predict when a tragedy will befall us such as a tornado or a car crash, that we DO have some control over our destinies.
Whatever Higher Power that you believe in, and I believe that even the most athiestic of us deep down believes that there has to be a greater good...you are given one life, one body, one chance to get it right (karma aside). Whether you believe that your body is a temple, or merely a vessel that you use to travel in this world, one thing is certain...none of us would dream of treating a church, mosque, synagogue, or even our homes or cars, the way we treat ourselves, the way that we knowingly (myself included) dump trash into our bodies, would be unthinkable to us if it were anywhere but our bodies. Most of us even feed our animals better food than we feed ourselves.
We place ourselves last because we think that that is the place we deserve, or because we are being martyrs and placing others first. But are we really? Are we placing our families ahead of ourselves when our children suffer because we die early from a heart attack, stroke, diabetes...things we could have prevented if only we had taken just a moment to respect ourselves? I know that I said earlier that I felt small for worrying over the tiniest thing that goes in my mouth, and I still do. I still feel that I should be more thankful for the bounty in my life, but with greatness comes great responsibility...a responsibility to ourselves to "take only what is needed for the journey," and a responsibility to our loved ones to teach them responsible habits, so that perhaps one day "diet" will be a dead word... to show our daughters that they are worthy of love, self-respect, and dignity NO MATTER her weight or height. That true beauty comes from within, and she should use food to nourish that beauty, not as a screen to hide behind.
Of all the tragedies, the diseases, the killers in the world, no one wants to talk about a silent killer that we are all struggling with...obesity. It is the cause of so many preventable diseases and deaths. Isn't it time that we started to realize that the purpose of losing weight is not so that we will be worthy of love, because we are ALL worthy of love, but so that we will be around as long as possible to give and receive love. Thinness and beauty will not bring us happiness, if that was the case, Anna Nicole would have had a happy life and not needed drugs.
I remember a story that I heard one time, about a man who was standing on a bridge staring down at the water, so disenchanted with life and humanity that he wanted to end it all... and he prayed to God, "God, if only one person smiles at me today, I won't jump." You see, making a difference in someone's life is so simple, you may do it and not even know that you did. There are those of us who travel to Africa and save lives in third world countries and are seen as heroes... but then there are the heroes that will never know that they made a difference simply by having lived and opening their hearts. For all of us who have ever felt that life was not worthy because we did not look like a cover model, look at your children that you created, your husband who could only love you, the student you taught, the customer you smiled at and helped at work.
Take care of yourself, be healthy, make wise choices, realize that for the unhealthy choices we make, the food, the cigarettes, whatever our vice may be, that it is one less day that you can make a difference, one less day that you can laugh, love, and be the light in someone's world. That in taking care of yourself, you have taken care of so many others.
Life is a precious and wonderful gift, and just as we would care for a rare and expensive jewel, we must also care for ourselves. Try not to beat yourself up over past mistakes. Self hate is like a cancer, and it will only defeat you in the end. Yesterday is in the past, and it is a bridge that we have burned so that we cannot go back. All we have is today to do the best that we can with what we have, and then we have the hope of a brighter tomorrow. So please, forgive yourselves for the ice cream, pizza, or sleeping in instead of running. We are all human, perfection is the stuff of heaven, this is earth, we can only strive to do our best. And our best is yet to come.
My goal for the day is to hug my husband and tell him I love him. To call my parents and brother to make sure they know I love them, too. And to treat myself with the respect that I deserve, because my choices to hurt myself may hurt those I love as well, and I cannot hurt them. I am making healthy choices not because I strive to be on the cover of a magazine, or because I seek the approval of a fickel society, I strive to make healthy choices so that I can live the best quality of life possible in order to not only care for myself, but to care for those I love and show them that I love them enough to want to be healthy for them as well as me. My goal is to make life count, day by day...
This was supposed to be a short post and I know that it has turned into the ramblings of a blubbering fool...but I hope that perhaps something of what I have written made sense, and maybe made a difference.
My prayers are with the families of those young lives that were cut so short, that in this dark hour that they will find hope, comfort, and peace. That God will comfort them and help them to make sense of such senseless things...
My prayers are with all of you, that you will face the day with wonder and love and that you make healthy choices because you are worth it and wonderfully made. My prayer is that you will go today and hug those closest to you and let them know that they are loved and special. And I pray that you take a minute to smile at a stranger on the street, who knows, your smile may save a life....
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made"
-Psalm 139:14
Have a blessed and wonderful day and thank you for allowing me to get a little preachy this morning!
Whoo-hoo!!!!!! I went to my surgeon today and I'm cleared to work w/out restrictions and exercise as long as I "use common sense and don't try to lift really heavy people/things by myself!" YEAH! I get to get out of my triage hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO, I did an hour on my elliptical to celebrate (I'm gonna feel that later!), and I am happy to report that I've been a "model dieter" for the past 2 days. It's amazing what getting to move and having something to take your mind off of things will do for a person! I'm still going to avoid abs work for a week or so more, I'm still feeling a slight pull at my umbilical incision, but other than that, I'm GOOD TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Doing the happy dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am currently in the process of forming my attack plan to continue losing weight, or at least avoid gaining weight, once I start the Lupron injections. Of all the yucky side effects to that drug, this is the one that scares me the most. I've just plain worked too hard to go back now over a stupid medication.
So I"m off to do "real" ER work now! Never thought I'd be happy to say that....
Have a great day, all! I'll try to visit y'all later!
Ok, here I am, still stuck out in triage on "light" duty and trying to stay awake at 4 am. I suppose it could be worse, though. It just gets old being out here taking complaints and putting them in the computer. I'm ready to MOVE!!!!!!!!!! My first week on night shift has been an adjustment phase, and one that I'm going to have to work on b/c it has fallen right on top of PMS time, so here I am, tired, bored, not much to do after 3 am and in desperate need of activity to stay awake, and food all around. Needless to say, I've found my appetite again and it found me and it was a reunion of mixed emotions...and we celebrated with chocolate and really bad foods!!!!!! I've been bad for the past 3 days. I would sit here and try to rationalize and analyze my emotions, but it was simply an attempt to stay awake and occupy my time. Boredom. I need to stop it. Too late for tonight. I already had my dinner at the Pizza Hut Stand in the hospital, so I'm when I wake up this afternoon, I will have to start the redemtion process. I can't afford to fall too hard off the band wagon considering that I am not really burning off the too many baseline calories these days.
SO, here's to my last "hoorah." My cravings for comfort foods that I've been having and giving in to over the past couple of days are pretty much passed anyway, and I'm left feeling bloated and tired. I will be starting Lupron soon and I am already for-warned that I will gain weight if I don't watch it, plus I've been reading about the diet-symptom connection between Endo and fatty foods and red meats and meats cured w/nitrates, which makes sense. And really, even if it's just a theory, those foods are no good anyway. Since I'm on night shift, Tonight (not tomorrow) is a new day and here I go again. Back to the diet and excercise grind once again! Between the SANE stuff (sexual assault nurse examiner) and since I've been reading so much on all of this that I'm seriously considering maybe looking in to switching to women's health eventually. I love ER, but it is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up!
I see my surgeon on Tuesday, I'm hoping he gives me the clearance for more activity. I'm worried, b/c my umbilical (belly button) incision got infected and he had his on-call doc come to the ER to meet me here and take a look at it. I'm on antibiotics, so hopefully it won't get too bad and stop my progress. But I was getting flushed and nauseated w/it, so it needed to be treated. I'm better now, I"m just feeling bound and gagged by these restrictions. It would be different if I was on a beach getting to lay out and enjoy the sun while I recouped...but I'm freezing in Ohio, so I really just want to get back to my life...
Well, we're in the middle of an ice storm here and it's starting to get back w/car accidents and people coming out of bars and falling on the ice, so I'd better close and get back to what i'm paid to do! lol
Well, here I am, my first night back to work (my first night shift in ages!), and quite frankly, being up all night stinks, but it's good money! I'm stuck out in triage until I'm released back to full duty, and I'm itching to get out and be able to do my full job! Trying to sit and keep myself awake waiting for people to come to me...I should stop whining. At least I'm cleared to come back and I have a job that's willing to let me come back w/my limitations. The hospital I used to work at would not let you come back to work until you were cleared 100% for full duty. Hence, I was off work for almost 3 months when I had my ovary out a few years ago. I'm just happy to get to drive and be half-way normal again!
I got up this afternoon and managed to do 20 minutes on my Elliptical w/out resistance or incline. Didn't do too bad, but I could tell that I had been out of the swing of things for a couple of weeks. I hadn't worked out for the whole week prior to my surgery because I felt awful, then the surgery. It's amazing how quickly we can undo the good we do!
As far as the Endo stuff goes, I finally got a chance to have a heart-to-heart w/DH last night. He called me on his way home from work and I was crying, so he picked me up and we went out to eat and talked about everything, my treatment, fertility, my fears, what to expect on the Lupron, etc. He's being really great and supportive about everything, and I'm feeling better after talking to him, too. I wish I'd brought him w/me to the Dr's appt now. We have decided that 6 months was not in our time frame, but if it's going to happen and a baby is in God's plans for us, then it will happen when it happens. It's not like we were trying to wait years and years, it's just TRYING 6 months ahead of plan, and of course, trying does not imply succeeding, either. Also, if I'm going to have issues, considering that I'm already 32 and counting, we might as well start before the clock starts ticking hard. Of course, when I told him I was afraid that I couldn't get pregnant and also of what his thoughts were if I couldn't, he said, "Are you kidding? You married Egyptian, woman!" I asked him what that was supposed to mean, to which he replied, "Let's put it this way, how many babies you want per hour?" OMG! Men! LOL
After dinner, we went to Barnes and Noble and got a couple of books on Endometriosis and started reading them together. I'm really impressed at how involved he wants to be in all of this! And, I've talked to co-workers who have gone through this, too. It looks like Lupron is my best chance of minimizing the lesions. My surgeon didn't take them off during my lap because, 1) I didn't sign consent b/c we were just going in for an appendectomy, 2) apparently the lesions weren't big/numerous/whatever enough to justify the extra plugging around and he felt that I would do better w/medical management. I'm still not excited about the Lupron, mainly because of the side effects, but the more I read and talk to people, I'm at least coming to terms with it.
So where now? I read a magazine article in Fitness magazine yesterday and one woman that they were writing about who had lost a bunch of weight said something that stood out to me, "I now look at hurdles as something to conquer, not a reason to quit." Sounds like a good motto, and one that I am trying very hard to adopt. This is a hurdle, not only to my weight loss and fitness goals, since I've had to slow down right when I was on a role, and the Lupron is going to make things even more challenging, but it is NOT a road block. I've still got 6 months to lose more weight, I can still do activities, just not hard and heavy, but I CAN move. And I'm going to have to remind myself that lack of ability to exercise full-speed ahead is NOT an excuse to eat what I want. I tend to have an "all-or-nothing" attitude and I'm going to have to lose that and realize that I need to adopt a "give a little get a little" attitude instead. I'll have to be vigilant about the diet, and consistent w/the exercise, even if it's not hard-core. Steady as she goes, consistent and daily. Especially since I am not running the ER like I normally do and burning those excess calories.
BTW, has anyone checked out Fitness Magazine's new fitness support community web site that they added this month, "Team Fitness?" It's pretty cool!
SO...I went to go see my Gynecologist today, who is saying that Lupron is my best treatment option right now or the endometriosis will continue to advance. I'm awaiting pre-approval from my insurance company and will probably begin therapy in 2 weeks. Lupron will basically throw me into menopause for 6 months apparently to starve the endometrial growths of the hormones on which they thrive, therefore relieving me of my endometrial symptoms, but causing me to have menopausal symptoms instead. And of course, I'm sitting there and the Dr comes in SO cooly and just tells me this is what needs done and that there is a chance I may be infertile, but "don't worry" 15% of all couples are infertile and they don't even know why. Is this supposed to make me feel better?
He tells me that at the end of the Lupron injections in 6 months that we should start working on a baby then because that will be my best window of opportunity before I risk the endometriosis from growing back, and then starting this all over again. I'm not quite certain that 6 months was in my time frame of trying either, I was thinking more like a year or so...Arrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since I'm ER, not OB, endometriosis and Lupron is something that I only have a basic knowledge of, and it's just enough to make me know the worst case scenarios. So, I've been researching Lupron and endometriosis on the internet and grabbing up everything that I can find on the subject, and quite frankly, I'm not certain that I am prepared to go through these side effects, although if I leave the endo to go out of control, then I risk worsening pain and a hysterectomy, which is certain infertility.
I'm reading on these Lupron support sites about 15-30 pound weight gains in less than 3 months, hot flashes, severe depression, severe migraines... NOT liking what I'm reading. Considering my history of depression and migraines...and I already gain weight so easily without the help of drugs...I know that there is "add back" therapy, where you are placed on a low-dose hormone to manage the side effects, and I've heard that some docs automatically place their patients on anti-depressants to control the mood swings and depression. I don't know. I'm hating being on the patient end of the deal, and I feel like I don't have time to think about my treatment options because my Dr's just want to hurry up and get it over with and I'm feeling caught.
All of this started back in August, I missed 2 consecutive periods. I had a positive home pregnancy test and thought that the pain in my right lower quadrant was a possible ectopic pregnancy, then everything came back negative, not pregnant. THEN in Oct, I had this massively heavy period that lasted 10 days and the cramping and nausea and dizziness. It was awful, and my period was in the middle of my cycle, not at the end. Ever since then, I have had unpredictable periods, some light, some heavy, some early, some late, always painful and crazy. I brushed the symptoms off because I had been so stressed and my weight was fluctuating, too. Now they're telling me it was endo. And I'm getting ready to start my period again, and the pain that I was hoping would be gone w/the appendectomy is starting to come back again. So is the nausea. And I have to work tomorrow. My gynecologist and my surgeon had a pow-wow about me, they both feel that my appendix was only a minor player in the problem, and that it was good that I had it, or I may not have been diagnosed w/the endo until it was more advanced. I'm beginning to think that they're right.
Which leads me to my issue about what to do about the injections....
Has anyone been on Lupron out there? What was your experience on it? Please share!!!!
Rapid intro into temporary menopause is not my idea of a fun time... I think I'm going to bug some of the docs at work tomorrow night, too. This sucks.
SO, now that I've gotten myself COMPLETELY freaked out about these stupid injections, NOW what, nurse? I have to develop a plan of action and stick to it.
-Must stick with healthy low cal/good carb/high protein/low sodium eating plan. Small meals through the day. Don't give in to the hunger. LOTS of H2O
-Must up the exercise routine and stick with it once cleared for more intense activity than walking.
-Should probably warn DH that he is in for a bad trip w/me and the mood swings...and the vaginal dryness thing (so his ego won't be crushed)...this might prevent marital strife.
-Really need to get a notebook and write down everything to talk to my Dr about when I go in for the injections..."add back" therapy, going back on anti-depressants, etc.
-Need to be better about taking Calcium Supplements (to prevent bone loss, which is a side effect of the Lupron).
-Need to keep reminding myself that this is temporary.
-NEED LOTS OF HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure I'll be in a better mood tomorrow, but today I'm overwhelmed. Thanks everyone for listening to my whining lately! Hopefully I can start blogging some better news soon!
Sorry that I haven't blogged since getting out of the hospital. I honestly haven't felt like sitting at a computer at all these past few days and being trapped inside is driving me CRAZY!!!!!! For all of the times I've envied my cat's life of eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, stare out the window, go back to sleep, I take it back. The cat's life SUCKS! I have felt like I'm under house arrest. First, 2 days in the hospital, then the rest of the frigging week stuck indoors. Going from an active life style (even without exercise, I still have a job that keeps me running 12 hours a day in a busy ER), to NOTHING is putting me into activity withdrawals. My back and legs actually hurt from INACTIVITY! Go figure! Since the weather has been icy and disgusting, I can't go for walks outside because there is about 4 inches of ice and 6 inches of snow on the ground and I'm afraid of falling and hurting myself after surgery. I can't drive and no one is much up to driving me to a mall to let me go walking anyway, not that I would ask them to risk life and limb just to take me for a walk like a dog anyway. Of course, most of Ohio has been shut down this week anyway. There's only so much walking you can do in a house. I have an elliptical. I got the bright idea that I would take the resistance off of it and try to use it. Bad idea. Pain, suffering, OUCH!
For having a laparoscopy, my healing has not quite gone as smoothly as I thought it would at first. My belly has been really bloated and swollen, partially due to constipation, partially due to routine swelling, and it's been pulling on my umbilical (belly button) incision and causing it to hurt and burn like fire. Plus, Thursday sucked, I was in horrible pain because of the bloating and then I started getting nauseated and throwing up again because let's face it, if you're eating and it's not going out one way, it has to go out another. Plus, I was running a low-grade fever on top of things. So Thursday sucked and I didn't sleep at all. Friday, I finally got some relief and started feeling better and the pain and bloating (and constipation) finally started to get better. I wanted to go out of the house desperately, but was house-bound.
My brother came over after he got off work Friday and watched DVDs with me. That was sweet of him, but my arse is getting SICK of sitting on the couch. I've read 4 books, watched countless movies. Slept on and off between the couch and the bed. Followed every step of the Anna Nicole circus, because let's face it, our major news stations have nothing better to report on in the world. It's not like we're on the brink of going to war with Iran, or that our country may have the first ever African-American or Female President, or record-breaking snow and ice storms are covering the majority of the country. I mean, it's tragic that Anna died so young and all, but come on, how many times can they replay the same footage and report the same "we don't know anything yet" story? Wait, sorry I asked. I'm getting my answer as I write this.
SO, by today (Saturday), my mental health was at stake. I couldn't spend one more minute in this house without pulling all of my hair out. SO, I called DH in desperation and BEGGED him to please take this evening off and TAKE ME SOMEWHERE!!!! Yes, it is snowing heavily again and driving conditions are dangerous, but OMG! Must breath outside air! Must move! Must do SOMETHING! So, fearing that I would do something drastic, he took the evening off and came home to take his pathetic wife out into the real world. It wasn't the fanciest date in the world, I can still only wear sweat pants, but to me it was the most exciting date EVER!!!!!! We went to Joe's Crab Shack, walked around Easton Mall, and went to Wal Mart (we needed cat litter, it weighs 21 pounds, I can only lift 10), and I was happy as a clam! lol This felt better to me than a Broadway show and dinner at a 4 star restaurant! lol Had I felt better, DH would have been well thanked for the reprieve from my "house arrest" as I've been referring to it. For the moment, he has to settle for kisses and my undying gratitude. Let's face it, a week of being sick, surgery, and a week of recovery. I haven't seen the light of day in a while.
Since I've been able to eat, but haven't been very active, I've gained the 8 pounds back that I lost during the week that I couldn't eat at all prior to surgery. I knew I would, but part of me was kind of hoping it would stay off. I was really dehydrated, so a lot of the weight that I lost was water weight, I'm sure.
SO, the "good news" is that I'm back to life in the real world, in limited capacity, as of Tuesday. I'm going to be back doing triage and desk work for at least a week, and I'm going to be back on night shift for the next 3 weeks. I was supposed to start my first night for my month-long rotation to nights on the day I had surgery. Instead, I decided to live on short-term disability and only get paid 70% of my base pay instead. This check is going to suck for real. My surgeon wanted me to take off the full 2 weeks until he saw me in his office again on the 27th, but partially due to my inability to stay in this house full-time for another week, and partially due to the fact that I have bills and a mortgage to pay, I negotiated with him and my boss to be able to come back to light duty so that he would be assured that I would not be out in the main ER lifting people and getting kicked by drunks. It's sort of open-ended since I'm under FMLA for this, so if I go back and can't hack it, I can go back to the doctor and take the rest off. I have no intention of needing this, however. I think that I can handle sitting in triage and taking complaints and putting them in a computer. Plus, if something bad were to happen, I couldn't be in a better place than surrounded by Dr's and nurses!
SO, tomorrow I've talked my parents into picking me up after church and taking me for another outing, and then Monday I go to my gynecologist to discuss treatment options for my endometriosis. I think I'm going to give that elliptical trainer another turn (w/out resistance or inclines) maybe on Monday, just to test the waters since I'll be back to work on Tuesday anyway. I'm done with being sick. I've been whining about needing a break from work and needing time off to just rest and relax for a while now. I should have been careful what I prayed for. I meant a vacation in the Carribean, NOT this.
Ok, enough of my rambling. This is another reason I haven't blogged much. I didn't want to subject everyone to a week's worth of me whining about being trapped in the house and feeling crappy. I think that I'm going to try to get some sleep now. I will go blog-hopping and try to answer everyone's comments when I wake up!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR WONDERFUL SUPPORT, LOVE AND PRAYERS THESE PAST 2 WEEKS! YOU ALL ARE WONDERFUL AND IT'S HELPED ME GET THROUGH ALL OF THIS SOOOO MUCH! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL WOMEN (AND MEN!) AND YOU ARE ALL MY HEROES!!!!! HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT WEEKEND AND STAYED WARM AND HEALTHY!!!!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR WONDERFUL SUPPORT, LOVE AND PRAYERS THESE PAST 2 WEEKS! YOU ALL ARE WONDERFUL AND IT'S HELPED ME GET THROUGH ALL OF THIS SOOOO MUCH! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL WOMEN (AND MEN!) AND YOU ARE ALL MY HEROES!!!!! HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT WEEKEND AND STAYED WARM AND HEALTHY!!!!