So I have a DVR now, I'm slowly moving into the 21st century, and I'm impressed with myself b/c I never figured my VCR recorder out, but THIS is easy! Anyhoo, I DVR'd "Dodgeball: an Underdog Story" and watched it (Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller). It's not oscar worthy, but it is hilarious! Brought back memories of grade school Remember how the bullies always seem to be on one team and the geeks were always on the other? I was on the geek's side. I remember one time this really mean kid was just slaughtering us! I was a 1st grader, he was a 3rd grader and he SLAMMED that ball straight at my head. Knocked me out cold. Maybe that's what happened to me! lol Brain damage. Poor me. Well, back to the movie. I have been moaning all week about no energy to workout, hormones, migraine, blah, blah, blah. It's gotta be my lupron going away and TOM getting ready to come back. I was good on my plan all week until today and I was having a particularly hormonal day that included a decent migraine that made me not want to accomplish anything followed by going for the rest of that fudge that's been in the fridge all week. Oh well, one slip. It's like crack. Honest, you're crazy and then you taste that chocolate and it's an automatic calm feeling and "Ahhhh..." The world is good again.
So I've been full of excuses not to work out and I play this movie "Dodgeball," and there's this scene where Vince Vaughn's character basically abandons his team mates at the dodgeball finals in Las Vegas and he's sitting at this bar drowning his sorrows when Lance Armstrong comes up beside him in the bar and tells him how he's been watching his dodgeball team on tv. Vince Vaughn's character tells him how he's finished with it, sad story, yah-dee, yah-dee and then Lance Armstrong proceeds to tell him, "You know, I know how your feeling. When I was diagnosed with testicular, stomach, lung and brain cancer, I thought my world was over, but with the love and support of my family, I overcame cancer and when on to win the Tour De France 5 times. So what exactly is it that's killing you that is stopping you from reaching your goals?"
Pause for effect....
SO, I'm sitting here thinking that I here I was watching a movie that is not supposed to make me think and here Lance shows up for his cameo and makes me and my whining fest about why I can't work out feel REALLY TINY. Hmmmm. So I'm thinking, yes, I'm worn out after this week, YES, I'm hormonal, and YES, I'm just a little lazy this week, too, but do I have 4 types of cancer or any dread disease that's standing in my way? Not so much. Just a lack of motivation to move and an over abundant resource of excuses. So, I suppose that since I don't have anything that is killing me and keeping me from my goals, perhaps I should get a little more serious.
Goals for the week (starting tomorrow): Pump up the work out efforts since I have the eating thing down (minus the fudge binge, but it was only a 4 oz block, one night, and it's gone now.). I got my shipment of food for the next week today and they sent me a diet and exercise journal with it, so I'm going to start keeping that up and do at least 20 min of cardio daily and I am meeting with the trainer 2 times next week for an hour. PLUS, I got my dog a new walking harness so she won't pull on me so much. We haven't been walking much since I've been working so many hours. Doggies need workouts, too, and now we're in the kind of weather she likes. AND....the ipod shuffle that I ordered arrived today, so I'm going to load it up with motivating music, too.
BIGGEST goal: try to get my sleep habits under control so I'm not so exhausted. I have a mild form of narcolepsy that keeps me from sleeping well at night and makes me exhausted during the day, so it's really important that I get this part under control starting this week. I'm not working like a mad woman now, so this has got to take priority.
With that said, I'm off to bed. I've stayed up way too long, but I was trying to repair my wi fi connection in the house. Mission accomplished, I think. At least I'm on the lap top now, but I have to work tomorrow,so I need to sleep now.
On my workout today due to lack of interest. lol Actually, I slept in today because I was SO exhausted after my 3 day stretch in the ER. I complained about Sunday and I think that I jinxed myself yesterday after I posted that we hadn't started to get busy yet. OMG! They say you know you've been a nurse too long when you know it's a full moon without looking at the sky. They're right. When I left, we were packed to over-flowing and had FORTY PEOPLE waiting in triage to be seen! (I work in a 100 bed ER, that's A LOT of people!) And the psych patients were out in full blast! Needless to say, I skipped my workouts Sat, Sun and Mon because I was just too wiped out after work. I'm going to either have to learn to not beat myself for not having another ounce of energy left after a 12 hour shift or I'm going to have to get my rear end out of bed at 4:30 am to work out before. The jury's still out on what I should do. Hmmmm...
Anyhoo, today I got my hair done and I DID go red. Well, it is a really pretty Auburn, actually. I don't have the skin tone to pull off a bright red, so I went with a pretty Auburn instead. LOVING IT! I was getting tired of the light brown w/blonde hi-lights. Time to warm up for fall SO, that being done, then I thought, "Hmmmm...Now I need new makeup!" So I went to the store and bought new makeup. And a couple of new hairbands. And a new set of knives, which has nothing to do with anything except that they were on sale for 50% off and we needed new knives and who can pass up a deal like that on Hampton Forge knives? lol After that, I met my parents and brother for dinner at Applebees and I was a GOOD GIRL and ordered off of the WW menu. The Grilled Chicken Portobello Sandwich is pretty good! After that, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up bananas, which are my pick for breakfast because they hold me longer than other fruits, so I go through them quickly and by the time I got home and settled, it was LATE!
I ALMOST set forget it to the workout. I had no reason not to work out today. I should have done it this morning while I still had time and energy, but I was waiting until my friend got off work to meet her, then when I called her while I was waiting for my color to set, she bailed on me, said she had an appointment and she refuses to workout after "x" time. SO, I was on my own. So after I ran around doing nothing of note or purpose today except to buy new toys, I had lost my initiative. HOWEVER, I kept telling myself that I had put it off for 3 days and after spending the money on the trainer and food, and publicly re-committing on here, I was obligated to myself to do this. SO, I got my butt down to the basement and hopped on my elliptical for a 20 minute workout. Not a big workout, but one none the less. So there. I did it.
I'm feeling better today. Still a little blah, but the hair appointment and makeup spree helped. And the sleeping in. I needed sleep, and to get away from work. Mission accomplished and I feel much better.
I've also re-adjusted my tracker on here to reflect my small goals. I'm keeping my grand goal as 145#s, but my small goal is 190 by my birthday, Nov 19th. This morning I was 206.5, so here's to hoping I can lose 16.5#s by Nov 19th! I've got some obstacles coming up, Nov 3rd is DHs b-day and we're going out of town to Detroit on Nov 9th for the weekend to go to a concert if DH can get Fri off. One of his favorite singers is going to be in Detroit and I'm going to get him tix to the show provided he can get off to actually go. Plus, he loves going to Dearborn because it cures the homesickness. Lord give me strength to not go overboard on the birthday cake and restaurant foods!
Well, I'd better get to bed, I have to work in the morning and I should probably get some sleep!
I say that with a question mark because I'm just not sure. I've been doing the lupron since March, so I've been in "medical menopause" since then, hence, no TOM (which has been about the only benefit to the injections, I'm afraid. Not sure I would do it over again if I had to.) I'm bloated, the scales up, my wedding rings are tight, and I feel blah for no reason. I haven't eaten a lot of sodium or fat, I've drank tons of water, and stayed OP, so why is this happening to me?!?! ARRRRGH!!!!!!! I'm getting close to the end of my 6 months, which would be sometime in October, so maybe. I just wish I knew for sure. I'm not used to this feeling anymore. It's gotta be TOM. Darn TOM, but that means I"m getting hormones back in me and will be "normal" again. That's good, right?
I'm at work in triage right now. We haven't gotten busy yet and I'm glad. This is day three in a row of 12 hour shifts. I'm wasted after this weekend.
I just need to survive today and tomorrow I'm off and getting my hair done. I think I might become a red head...
Today was day one on my new plan, the e-diets Deliciously Yours home delivery program. First impression? Very good! It was nice having fresh food that I didn't have to think about instead of frozen food. The only thing you have to add to the plan is some dairy and fruit. I added a lo-cal protein bar to get me over the hump between breakfast and lunch, but since the meals are only about a total of 1200 cal, I had plenty of room to do that and still stay in plan. I also did the dinner for lunch and the lunch for dinner. While the lunches are good and filling, they are somewhat small and the dinners are large and great for getting me through a 12 hour shift, and too heavy to eat at 8:30 pm and then go to bed early.
DH and I watched a movie that we recorded on DVR when I got home, so I didn't work out, but I ran nonstop today, so that has to count for something. We got our rear ends handed to us today. It was a home game, so the medics were voluntarily diverting away from OSU medical center because of the football traffic, and we are 5 minutes up the freeway, so we got KICKED! I'm going to bed. I'll make up for it tomorrow with a decent workout. Just not now. I didn't sleep much last night and I'm exhausted. Sleep is part of a healthy lifestyle, too! lol
Ok, so this is a boring Friday night. I have to go to work in the morning, so I'm staying in. DH had to work as usual anyway. Is it selfish of me to wish that he'd find a different job that kept him home more often? Sigh.
Anyhoo. My food arrived this afternoon, so I start the e-diets plan today. I'm having the my food shipped to my parents' house because my dad is retired and is home during the day, so there is somone there to receive the food. I know it's packed in refrigerated packing, but I still don't want it sitting around on my front step in the sun, or for anyone to walk off with. Not that I don't trust my neighbors, but I don't. lol So I went to my parents to pick it up and my parents had went to Amish country and, thanks mom, gotten me Cream Cheese Fudge, which is super creamy and rich and yummy and simply awful for you. NOT on plan. I'm hoping to pace myself with it so that I don't completely over-do it and I'm trying to pawn some of it off on DH, too. I'm sure that won't be difficult.
The food looks really good, and talk about wanting to dummy-proof the food for you. Since the plan focuses on "good carbs" and natural proteins and a balanced diet, some of the breakfasts that are a muffin or the like include a boiled egg with it. The egg comes in a plastic container ALREADY PEELED! How cool is that! lol I'll have to post you on how they taste tomorrow night. The lunches look a little small, so I think since I work 12 hour shifts with only one break to eat, I'm going to switch things and eat the bigger dinner as my lunch and have the lunch for dinner since I don't get to eat dinner until after 8pm and my dinner has to hold me for a while. The snacks have protein like nuts, etc, so that is good for helping me get through the long stretch from breakfast to lunch (6am to 1 pm or later).
Dinner was not as healthy as it could be. It's Ramadan, and my husband, who is Muslim, is fasting during the day and then eats a feast at night. OMG the food! I've been limiting my intake of the huge amounts of food while still eating with him, but Egyptian food is only slightly healthy. Even the stuff that looks healthy is drowning in Ghee, which is clarified butter. Since I had mom's fudge, and my new plan starts tomorrow, and I'm spending enough on it that I'd better not screw up or it's going to be a total waste of money, and since I worked out really hard with my trainer today AND since I was a good girl all week, AND lost two pounds....You know where I'm going. I ate a "not on plan" meal and partook of the fudge as well. I didn't OVER-DO it, but I definitely went out of my goal calorie range. I'm trying to avoid the term "cheat meal" to try to trick my mind out of viewing foods as bad or forbidden in an effort to come to terms that all foods are ok if in moderation, even a little fried chicken once in a blue moon if I don't eat the whole bird. I figure that if I'm 99% "on plan" and 1% "off plan," then I'll be OKAY. One meal will not undo my entire week of good. I will stay away from Mr. Scale in the morning to afirm this. I will be bloated in the morning from the salt and fat that I ingested and I my emotional self has not reconciled enough with my rational self to not be disheartened when I see water retention weight showing on the scale. I'm already staring to feel swollen from the salt. I don't know how that man eats like this on a regular basis and doesn't gain an ounce. Christmas is only one day and I gain 10 pounds during it!
Ok, I'm going to get the laundry in the drier and then off to bed. Gotta pack my lunch, too.
OK, so I had a really inspiring post, but EP decided that it wasn't worthy of posting apparently because when I went to send it, it disappeared into cyberspace.
SOOO...since I don't feel like typing all of that again, here's the scoop:
I'm meeting with my trainer at 2pm for the first time in ages and I decided to step on the scale this am to get the news first and prepare myself for things to come and I lost 2 pounds this week! YEAH!!!!! Going back down hill feels GRRRRREAT!!!! I didn't work out last night after work. I got my 10,000 steps in at work, plus, after not sleeping well the night before after my neighbors house exploded, I came home, ate dinner and just could not get my aching legs to move after running around the ER all day. I was physically and mentally zapped.
SO,...I caught up on blogs and updated my Friends List, too. So many people have dropped off the face of the planet and many people on my list hadn't blogged in a year or more, so I decided to whittle the list down so that I could keep up easier with those of you who are still hanging out around here. I deleted links to blogs that had been inactive for over 6 months, and I think I cut the list in half. That's sad, really. I know that I've been sporadic on here lately, life gets in the way for all of us sometimes, but I am still saddened to see so many people seem to have left us for good. On the upside, we have a lot of new and energetic members on here now! YIPPEE! Although I think that the way that EP has chosen to organize the blogs now makes it harder to find people's blogs. Anyone else that has been on here since before the re-modeling noticed that or is it just me?
So here's the plan for the day:
My food from E-Diets Deliciously Yours Home Delivery is scheduled to arrive today and I'm really excited because the food looks fresh and yummy! Can't Wait!
I meet with my trainer at 2pm to get back on that track! YEAH! He can kick my butt right off!
Clean House. Yuck, but it has to be done. Oh Well.
Have a great and healthy weekend, all!
BTW, for those of you who are medical-types on here, I started a support group, check it out! I'd like to not be the only member for long! lol
So, how do you like what I've done with the place? I finally figured out how to get the cool new features and a song other than those "stock songs" on my blog! The song is an Arabian love song, and I suppose it's "our song." Habibi means sweetheart. It's about a man who has to be separated from his love and how he misses her and cannot wait to be with her again. He used to play it for me when he was in Egypt and I was stuck here last Oct. Sigh!
So, I'm still doing good with the plan. Sticking to the diet and exercise. Trying to stay away from the scale until weigh-in. I meet with my trainer tomorrow for the first time in a month tomorrow afternoon, too. Right now, I'm exhausted and I'm trying to talk myself into working out after work since we've been running our bums off all day long in the ER today. Not to mention, DH and I (and our entire neighborhood, for that matter), got woke up from a peaceful sleep at 2:45 this morning to a loud explosion that shook our house. We looked outside and discovered that our neighbor's house across the street had EXPLODED and was up in flames. There wasn't even a frame left to the house. Apparently the water heater ignited the gas tank and caused it to explode. The blast literally threw him out of a window, but fortunately, he was ok and had relatively minor injuries. It burned off the garage of the people next door, too. All things considered, it could have been a far worse tragedy and fortunately, no lives were lost. Of course, no one slept after that, either because we were all shook up by the rude and frightening way that we were awakened. We haven't had to turn our heater on yet, but I'm definitely having that thing checked out before we turn it on again for the winter! OMG!
Well, I am at work and my lunch break is, unfortunately, over. I'd better get going. BTW, for those of you that check in on me that are medical types, I started a support group if anyone is interested.
Ok, so I'm back on the bandwagon, time to finally time to pay the piper and admit to the damages that I have done since the beginning of July, so I'm updating the tracker to what I was this morning: 209.9. I swear I was a sponge in a past life the way I gain weight. I suppose that that's not too bad, seeing that I was 214.4 when I finally decided to step on the scale and start getting back in line the week before last (prior to getting bronchitis). I'm still waiting for my food to be shipped from e-diets. It's scheduled to be delivered on Friday. I'm looking forward to changing things up on the diet front. Friday, I reunite with my trainer, too. I have to keep telling myself that I really need to focus because I start Nurse Practitioning school in January and I really want to be set firmly on track and in a healthy groove prior to starting back to grad school and facing that stress again. So far today, I've done well. Kept on plan. PLUS, I passed my PALS test with flying colors and that's done for a couple more years. I'm not gonna let that thing lapse again. That added up to two VERY long days! The renewal is only one day!
It's a gorgeous day out today and I finally have the initiative to start working on some "fall cleaning" but not until I've gotten my workout in. I think I'll ride my bike or go for a walk outside instead of hitting the gym today. We'll see. I'm working out one way or the other.
Goal: To officially work out at least 3 times a week and to do physical activity for at least 20 minutes (beyond running in the ER), every day. Count down to FNP school is on and I have things to do! I just got my schedule for Winter quarter in the mail to remind me!
Have a great day, all! Hope the weather is as beautiful in your corners of the world as it is in mine today! I think I'm gonna go check out these "new" support groups now...
So I spent all day holed up in a classroom when it was absolutely GORGEOUS perfect weather outside today. It's to maintain my Pediatric Advanced Life Support (PALS) certification. It made for a long day. I kept running out at every break to get a sunshine fix. The good thing was that I got out at 2:30 pm and had the afternoon to enjoy the perfect day. Then I was supposed to meet my friend at the gym when she got off work. Yes, I am back to working out and breathing again! I even jogged for a few minutes!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! So I get to the gym when we were supposed to meet and I wait around and no sign of her. I finally give up waiting and hop on a treadmill because it was getting busy. I promptly got back off because a really creepy man got on the treadmill next to me and kept staring at me. Ooo! Yuck! Gross! So I switched to another machine and then she FINALLY comes in and says, "I just got in a car accident, I was rear-ended and my neck hurts too much to work out today." SOOOOO....work out officially ends (I was cooling down by that point anyway), and off to the ER we go! She's OKAY, minor damage to the car, she's gonna ache tomorrow, but nothing serious. It was almost 11 pm by the time we got out and we were both starving and she needed to take her pain medication, so we stop off at Steak and Shake, which was about the only viable option after 11 on a week day outside of Waffle House, Tee Jays and drive-throughs.
First of all....I'd like to say THANK YOU to Steak and Shake for finally offering some healthier options like grilled chicken salads and low fat frozen fruit and yogurt shakes. They have a grilled chicken, apple and walnut salad with fat free raspberry vinagrette that is VERY GOOD! With that said, I would also like to say that there are some incredibly stupid and rude people in this world and I think they hired their leaders at this particular Steak and Shake. It was late and I was seriously tempted to go for the burger and shake, but I didn't want to undo the good that I had done, plus it was late and I didn't want to lay down on all that grease and sugar. So I got the afore mentioned apple walnut chicken salad. I ate MAYBE 3/4 of the salad, it was an average salad (slightly larger than a McDonald's creation), and came with a cup of vegetable soup that I ate 2 bites of and decided it was nasty and I was done with it. Next thing I know, this skinny little blonde girl in her mid-twenties comes up and says, "Hi! You're server is going off duty and I am coming on, if you need anything, let me know!" Then she looks at me and says wide-eyed, "WOW! You did better than I could have with that salad! I can't believe you could eat all that! That's amazing to eat that much! It's a huge salad! A few bites and I'm completely full!" To which I replied, "Um, thanks, I guess?" And, apparently being too stupid to know when to stop, says, "Yup! I'm really impressed that you could eat all that!" Ok, so I'm realizing this girl is a few fries short of a happy meal or just really rude and they must pay really good at that restaurant because she OBVIOUSLY did not need to go out of her way to make any tips! So little Miss Thing turns around and leaves and my friend and I are just looking at each other like, WTF? Is she stupid or WHAT? SOOOOO...we got up and left to pay our bill, but not before I left her a note written in BIG BOLD PURPLE LETTERS(I had a purple pen in my purse for some reason today)....
"I WOULD HAVE LEFT A TIP BUT I WAS TOO TIRED AFTER HAVING EATEN SO MUCH TO GET THE MONEY OUT OF MY PURSE!"
PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT!
So that was my day. I went to class, ate right, worked out, took my friend to the ER, and got insulted by a stupid waitress at Steak and Shake for eating more than my quota of a stupid salad! People are so stupid. Oh well! At least I got the last word in! I just hope that she was literate! lol We saw her pick up the note when she was cleaning our table and we got a really dirty look as we left, so I"m assuming that she got the message.
Oh well! I'm off to bed now. I have another day of class and a test in the morning. I'll try to go visiting tomorrow after class and the gym.
"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."
-Mark Twain
OMG! I can't believe that it's September already! What happened to the Summer? Oof! I am SO SORRY that it has taken me so long to get back to blogging. This has been a crazy busy few months! The best laid plans of mice and men, and so forth, and so on... So...I'll tell you what happened to MY Summer: University of Phoenix happened to MY Summer. So I signed up for UOP as my last post, a LONG, LONG time ago explained, and I took 2 courses through them and my final decision is: it must be deleted from my life. At a whopping $485/credit hour, one would think that you would at least get what you pay for, what I got was permanently tied to my lap top whenever I wasn't working, and sometimes sneaking on when I was working, too. The first class, which was an introductory class, took up WAY TOO MUCH time for an orientation class than it should have and the instructor was an A-1 Bee-otch. Evil and unreasonable. She had issues. I am NOT a shy violet and we butted heads. I got an "A" in the class, took a deep breath and thought, maybe it was my lack of organization skills and getting used to the online learning environment that was my hang up, so I took class #2. The instructor was nice, but I have decided that they have replaced lessons with paperwork and I spent more time with school work (busy work, NOT learning) than I ever did when I was at Ohio State doing graduate work. And I have decided that the purpose of the "instructors" at UOP are there simply to grade papers and not much else. Since UOP makes you pay for 75% of the course if you drop on the 1st day and 100% after the first week, I had to finish the class, but I was NOT happy about it. Again, I got an "A," actually, it was a 99.9% because the instructor informed me that he NEVER gives 100% because no one is perfect and we all have room to grow, but I have decided that UOP was not for me and I have dropped the program.
I have NOT dropped grad school, just UOP. I have always wanted to be a Nurse Practitioner and after talking to my husband, family and friends, I decided to apply to Otterbein University's Master of Science in Nursing Family Nurse Practitioner program, and.....I GOT ACCEPTED!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! I actually feel much more accomplished with this because they DO NOT have an open enrollment policy like UOP and I had to meet high academic standards, have a good resume, be recommended, and interviewed, signed, stamped and sealed to be able to get in. The best thing is that two of my good friends that work with me in the ER also got accepted and we will be going through the program together, which will make the program even better. I am simply a much better Clinician than anything and that is all there is too it. I love working with patients and management is nothing that interests me the more that I look at my life and my goals. I'm not a politician and I think that I would be deeply unhappy being away from Clinical Practice. SOOOO...I start Nurse Practioning School in January and class meets 1 day a week and half of the classes are online, half are in class, plus my clinical hours, and since the program REQUIRES that you have a minimum of 2 years clinical nursing experience and that you continue to practice as you go to school, unlike many NP schools, it is very friendly and sympathetic to the needs of working adults.
So I lost my summer. I even had to tote my lap top on my romantic Smoky Mountain weekend get-a-way with DH to celebrate our 2 year anniversary, but the fall is a new page. I am happy that I am getting the next 3 and a half months to get my ducks in a row. I should have probably taken some "me" time between making that last payment on the ex-husband debts and jumping into a new project anyway. Seems that the biggest obstacle to meeting my personal health goals is usually me, all be it unwittingly, but none the less, it is me.
SO, here's where I am currently: My BFF from Grade School through College and I lost touch with each other (largely in part due to my 1st marriage, which isolated me from everyone), and we reconnected last month and discovered that we not only lived on the same side of town, but belong to the gym. I said belong, NOT go. lol So anyhoo, we got together and we started meeting to go work out on my days off and I'm getting back in to the workout groove. It helps to have a buddy in the fight with you. I missed this past week due to a nasty case of bronchitis that caused my asthma to kick up, but I'm better now and we're back to the grind tomorrow. When we're working out together, I don't cancel because I promised to meet her, and vice versa, even if we don't necessarily feel like going that day. Accountability is key.
On the diet front. Arrgh. Another issue. I've had my ups and downs. Most of the summer was full of downs. I was so engrossed with those stupid classes that I lost sight of anything else. So I started back eating junk. And it was hot, so there was a lot of ice cream, too. It didn't help that Cold Stone Creamery decided to open a new location within a 2 minute drive of me. And then there's Tim Horton's Chocolate Mint Iced Cappucinos, too. Mmmmmm. It was a slow steady downward spiral that started with the Smoky Mountain get-a-way and went downhill from there. I was doing great with my program and Alli, but I went off of Alli for the 5 days we were gone to avoid "treatment effects" and being that my family is from the Appalachian Mountain Region, I was back in the land of the food of my childhood and up to my ears in fried catfish, homemade mashed potatoes and sawmill gravy, thick sliced fresh bacon, corn bread, fried pickles, and johnny cakes and mollases. Mmmmm.... I"m gaining weight just writing about it. No wonder my cholesterol levels are high enough for 2 people! Once I returned, I was like an alcoholic that fell off the band wagon and started with the "last supper syndrome" as I like to call it. Every night, I'd eat a heavy meal, plus dessert, and say, "this is my last night, back on the band wagon tomorrow." The problem with the "last supper syndrome" is that you get in the mentality that it is a death meal and you view that meal as saying goodbye to an old friend, a funeral for the yummy foods before you die and go to diet hell. Then you lay down your fork, die, and in three days, you come back to all the splendors of the rich and fabulous foods that you have grown to love so much. My mentality is my Judas, and I have sold my body for 30 silver forks. Where to now?
Well, what this summer has done to me is cause me to re-gain 15 of that 20 pounds that I fought so hard to lose and my back has been stiff as a board, and I have NO energy. I feel crappy. I briefly considered surrendering and calling "Jenny" again, but stopped myself after I re-read what I went through the last time with her. Plus, one thing that I have found with eating frozen and pre-packaged food that keeps driving me back to my old ways is that I love the taste of things that were actually cooked on the same day I decided to eat them. Very few frozen dinners, with the exception of Kashi and Amy's Organic, really taste "fresh." Although I DO like the Cafe Steamers from Healthy Choice. I simply do not have the time to cook every night, and since it's just me and DH, it's really hard to justify lots of kitchen time, and we usually don't get to eat together anyway.
SO...I heard about E-Diet's new home delivery program and I was intrigued. It's FRESH, Chef-prepared food that is delivered right to your door every week and has NO preservatives and from the pics, looks yummy, too. And at $15.95/day (which is less than $4 a meal for 3 meals and a snack), it's reasonable. Actually less than what I pay to eat lunch at work and dinner on the fly at a restaurant or take-out, not including my Tim Horton's or Java City in the morning and breakfast. And since they let you pay weekly, instead of monthly like NS or JC, it's easier for me to budget. I just placed my first order. I signed up for the 7-day plan for the 1st month to jump-start my diet, and then I think I'm going to switch to the 5 day program with weekends off plan after that, especially since that will be taking me into the Holiday season and more food-related events. I'm dropping the Alli, I really think the only thing that it did for me was make me terrified to cheat because I didn't want to experience explosive and uncontrollabe diarrhea. Plus, it is expensive. I'd rather save the money in a new wardrobe savings account, which I am establishing as well. The food is supposed to be delivered on Friday, which will give me time to use up the frozen dinners that I have stock piled in the freezer currently for my plan this week. I'll have to let you all know what I think of it when I get it. I am back to a point where I need dummy proofing and someone to just say , "eat this, here it is." But I don't want "shelf stable" food, I want REAL food, so I'm really excited about this new program!
On the exercise front, my friend and I are going to be meeting as much as possible, aiming for 3 times a week, with the other 4 on our own, but accounting to each other, and I've re-connected with my personal trainer at Grant who is going to help me design a program that is going to help get me through this back pain and back on track. My goal is to get myself established in a routine firmly enough by January so that when I start back to school, it will just be a way of life again and I won't let school side track me again. I'm re-organizing my house, life and calendar to all reflect this ultimate goal as well. Plus, Otterbein has a very nice student fitness facility on campus that I will have free access to when I am on campus.
The last piece to the puzzle is that I have to start blogging again and keeping up with my own personal accountability. I think that one thing that becomes overwhelming about blogging sometimes is that while it is wonderful to develop such a huge support group on your blog site, it's easy to spend so much time blogging and visiting blogs that you run out of time to do what you are blogging about, which is exercise! Anyone else get into that dilemma, or is it just me? So, plan here is to update personally at least once a week, and then break up my visits "around town" over the rest of the week so that I can give support and keep updated on all of my friends that I have made here, while still maintaining my own personal goals and not falling into my old pit fall of spending hours blogging and then looking at the clock and saying, "oh well, no time to work out now!"
So, with all of that said, I am once again declaring a new day and a fresh start. The good thing here is that I am going to be school-free and not working a boat load of overtime for 3 months in order to focus on what I need to focus on, my own personal health. I do not like feeling like the slob that I feel like today, all fat, stiff, achy and bloated. Not to mention, my cholesterol levels are still scary high and I need to get my act together or I will be suffering the consequences. I know that I am doing this at the onset of the fall and winter holiday season, but the big thing I must remind myself is that Halloween, my birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are 4 separate days, NOT 3 whole months! lol
So here's to getting a jump start on resolutions so that perhaps my new year's resolution one day will not be "lose weight and get in shape." Maybe my resolution will be something slightly more creative in the near future. I've done it before, I'll do it again and this time, here's to sticking with the plan!
Hope all of you are doing well! I have missed you all and I can't wait to start visiting you all to see how you all have done! Hope to hear from everyone soon!
Poor me. Well, back to the movie. I have been moaning all week about no energy to workout, hormones, migraine, blah, blah, blah. It's gotta be my lupron going away and TOM getting ready to come back. I was good on my plan all week until today and I was having a particularly hormonal day that included a decent migraine that made me not want to accomplish anything followed by going for the rest of that fudge that's been in the fridge all week. Oh well, one slip. It's like crack. Honest, you're crazy and then you taste that chocolate and it's an automatic calm feeling and "Ahhhh..." The world is good again. 
On the upside, we have a lot of new and energetic members on here now! YIPPEE! Although I think that the way that EP has chosen to organize the blogs now makes it harder to find people's blogs. Anyone else that has been on here since before the re-modeling noticed that or is it just me?
Habibi means sweetheart. It's about a man who has to be separated from his love and how he misses her and cannot wait to be with her again. He used to play it for me when he was in Egypt and I was stuck here last Oct. Sigh! 
It's to maintain my Pediatric Advanced Life Support (PALS) certification. It made for a long day. I kept running out at every break to get a sunshine fix. The good thing was that I got out at 2:30 pm and had the afternoon to enjoy the perfect day. Then I was supposed to meet my friend at the gym when she got off work. Yes, I am back to working out and breathing again! I even jogged for a few minutes!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! So I get to the gym when we were supposed to meet and I wait around and no sign of her. I finally give up waiting and hop on a treadmill because it was getting busy. I promptly got back off because a really creepy man got on the treadmill next to me and kept staring at me. Ooo! Yuck! Gross! So I switched to another machine and then she FINALLY comes in and says, "I just got in a car accident, I was rear-ended and my neck hurts too much to work out today." SOOOOO....work out officially ends (I was cooling down by that point anyway), and off to the ER we go! She's OKAY, minor damage to the car, she's gonna ache tomorrow, but nothing serious. It was almost 11 pm by the time we got out and we were both starving and she needed to take her pain medication, so we stop off at Steak and Shake, which was about the only viable option after 11 on a week day outside of Waffle House, Tee Jays and drive-throughs. 
SOOOOO...we got up and left to pay our bill, but not before I left her a note written in 
I've done it before, I'll do it again and this time, here's to sticking with the plan!