Four Months Gone
Where did Summer go? 
Sorry I haven't been on in forever, but life has been hectic and I've been OL for school and bill pay only for the most part. Dad is doing better, he's finished w/chemo and radiation, his last treatment was 2 weeks ago. His neck, mouth and throat are burned to a crisp and it's painful for him to talk and eat, so he's lost over 50 #s, but the docs are optimistic that they've got it all and now he just has to get his strength back. He's really weak right now, but he is able to eat and hopefully his feeding tube will be able to be removed soon. Thank you all for your prayers, I am faithful that he has beaten this thing.
In "me" news, I got an "A" in Advanced Pharmacology! YEAH! No small task, that class was killer! So I kept my 4.0 gpa intact. I was doing good on the diet and exercise track until this past month when my class was over. I picked up tons of OT to make up for money that I won't be making once the quarter started back up and pay off my IRS debt and basically didn't work out or eat right all month. SO, the quarter is starting back up tomorrow and today I went back to my trainer and I've kept on track eating-wise today, I'm getting ready to ship out to the grocery store to stock up on things in a few minutes. I'm one of the rare homes in Central Ohio that didn't lose electricity when Ike decided to go north.
The marriage thing is in limbo. IDK what to do, well, I do, but I just haven't. We are living together, but it's not a marriage. When we DO see each other, we fight. I'm still really hurt by that stunt he pulled in April and I can't get over it and he's really doing nothing to help me get over it, no apology, nothing. He hasn't been to see my dad or call him once since my dad's been going through all of this. Then when I try to talk to him about it, he goes crazy and starts blaming me for all of the ills in his life and spewing venom like you wouldn't believe at me. He's just turned into this angry, hateful person that I don't know who he is anymore and he's turned it all onto me, and believe me, he's dealt some low blows to me lately. I know I'm not a perfect person, but I don't think I deserve half of what I've gotten and I wouldn't have dreamed of saying or doing some of the things he's said and done lately. I really wish that he'd just go if he hates me that much. I should have just let him stay gone the first time and I'd already be on with my life. He's going back to Egypt in Oct. I'm relieved for the break. He's really succeeded in making me simply not care how our marriage turns out. I am resigned to the fact that no matter what I do, I can't fix this by myself and if he has no initiative to help fix the problem, why should I care.
At any rate, I'm not dwelling on that subject for too long, because it will just frustrate me. I'm back to school tomorrow, and I'm going back to day shift as of next week and a normal schedule, so I'm hopeful that I'll be able to focus a little time on me somewhere in between since I'll be sleeping on a "normal" sleep schedule and maybe have a little more energy. I've been wiped out lately. No good sleep, bad food, no exercise, stress. I have little control over the stress lately, but the sleep, food, exercise thing are in my hands.
I'll try to keep updates posted as much as possible, but I'm taking 2 classes this quarter, so my time is going to be pressed, unfortunately.
Hope everyone had a great summer! Here's to fall!
-Bethany
