Where does the bad news end?
You ever had one of those days where you'd give your right arm if anyone would just tell you some GOOD news? ARRRRGH! I'm having one of those days.
So to re-cap...in the past month...
-My dad had a stroke and wound up in critical care for 4 days
-I found out I owe $7500 in taxes
-DH packed his bags, said "I don't love you anymore" and left, then came back a week later and it's been little more than ice and fights since...with the occassional confusing and awkward moment of hope sprinkled in just to make me suffer, I think.
-I had to drop out of school because I had too much else going on and I didn't feel like spending tons of money on something I couldn't focus on.
So just when you think you've hit bottom...someone throws you a shovel to keep on digging!
My dad has been complaining of a sore throat for over a month now. I noticed a lump on the outside of his neck that he brushed off and so did the doctor, pretty much. Then he finally lets me look in his throat to see if he has strep or something and I notice that his right tonsil is WAY bigger than his left tonsil and it's occluding half of his airway. So mom and I threatened him within an inch of his life and drug him kicking and screaming to the ENT doctor (Ear, Nose, Throat). His appointment was yesterday. Mom took him because I had to work. The doctor did a biopsy because his tonsil looked suspicious. Today, mom calls me at work in hysterics because the doctor called her on her cell phone WHILE SHE WAS DRIVING HOME FROM WORK (of course, he had no idea of knowing that, but I wish she had pulled over first!) and tells her that the biopsy results just came back. And then the 2 words that you hope you never hear...it's cancer. OMG I thought I was going to get sick right in the middle of the ER. It's cancer of the tonsil. The ENT that he's going to is one of the best, I have a lot of confidence in him and I'm praying it is just localized and it will be a "simple" surgery...he'll have radiation therapy afterwards. He has to go in for more scans to see how involved it is and if it's spread anywhere else...then we'll know more about when the surgery is and what to expect. The good news is that it is a highly treatable cancer provided that it's caught in the earlier stages and has a >90% survival rate. I feel so bad because I feel like he just hasn't been able to catch a break. He's depressed enough after the stroke and now this! Prayer is all we have right now, so I'm praying that he gets through this okay and keeps his spirits up because he's been easily defeated ever since his 1st stroke in 2005.
Anyway, I'm just trying to hold it together and continue with counseling and try to be there for my family and figure out where my marriage is going. The good thing is that during chronic stress, I eat like a pig, but during acute and HUGE stress, I forget to eat. So maybe I'll at least lose weight. (I have to hold onto some bright side)
Everyone, just please keep my dad in your prayers during this difficult time and pray that this is nothing hugely serious.
Thanks to all of you who have been sending hugs and prayers my way, they're much needed and appreciated.
Love,
Bethany
Alicia